The Instigator
Levibe
Pro (for)
Winning
6 Points
The Contender
claw4
Con (against)
Losing
0 Points

Is Marriage an outdated institution?

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 1 vote the winner is...
Levibe
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 10/1/2014 Category: Society
Updated: 2 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 568 times Debate No: 62483
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (2)
Votes (1)

 

Levibe

Pro

It is my belief that marriage as an institution is becoming less and less relevant in today's world for a number of reasons that I will get into in further rounds.
Anyone is welcome to challenge and I hope your arguments are passionately written. I don't care about sources, more about your reasoning as to it is relevant and important in our society.

I don't think what most (if not all) would call a traditional marriage is as important in today's society, especially in western culture; mainly because what is the real purpose of a marriage? Is it the ceremony and reception part, is it showing off your love to the world, is it symbolic of an eternal love... Ultimately what does it mean to be married and why do it the way we have been all these years?
claw4

Con

I would argue that marriage could be a result out of evolutionary need. As any animal we are driven to obtain resources and to secure them once we have it. Marriage could be a result of men ensuring that there is someone to take on their DNA and pass it onto an offspring, and that their child can be taken care of. For a woman, marriage would mean that there is someone there to help obtain resources while she's pregnant and in labor. Marriage helps give some sort of contract that makes sure that each member of the party adheres to the agreement that they won't run off with someone else, or takes on someone else's seed to put it bluntly. Humans are no longer evolving so perhaps the need for marriage is diminishing, but it still holds value to society. Having a marriage can be beneficial, for instance if both partners are working then it helps relieve financial burden, and if someone wants to have a child, having a partner to help with the responsibilities help relieve stress.
Debate Round No. 1
Levibe

Pro

Hey, thanks for accepting the challenge :)

I see the needs you're talking about. We as humans like a feeling of stability in all aspects of life; always having shelter, food and water and, other essential resources. I don't think marriage is an essential resource though.
Why is it that we need to put a materialistic ring on what we've even dubbed our "ring" finger, just because it's connected directly to the heart? It is a very nice sentiment but in today's world weddings and marriages are just another social norm people accept without questioning and do it because that's what everyone else has done. I believe that you don't need a ceremony, a "god", documents/contract and, rings ESPECIALLY if you know you've found the right person. I don't see anything wrong with getting both families together and celebrating the fact that you've found someone to spend all your life with but everything else is irrelevant.
Fathers walk their daughter down the aisle and pass them off because in very early marriages, women were property, daughters were property to the family/father and now the "property" is being handed off to a new owner.
claw4

Con

claw4 forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 2
Levibe

Pro

All these things that constitute a marriage is a facade and materialistic; The wedding itself, rings, dress/suits, reception. Nearly fifty percent of marriages in north America end in divorce. Most of these are due to financial reasons... "For richer or for poorer" right?
I'm usually not one to generalize but I can say with confidence that one other reason that stands out is that these are people who went to the same high school or post-secondary, met, sparks flew/they had chemistry/they "fell in love" when at best they had some laughs and told each other some secrets, met one anothers family, did whatever before they got married and later along the line they had kids... The whole nine. Then the sparks stopped and they separate/divorce. If two people are going to make what I believe to be the biggest decision and commitment to one another (Not to get married) and bring another human life into the world and then they do the ultimate shittiest thing to the child(ren) and break apart the other institution of the family.
We DO NOT need marriages in todays world. If two people decide that they are going to spend the remainder of their days as well as potentially bring life into the world then they need to be ABSOLUTELY sure of who they, themselves are, who they are with and, most importantly, how they feel and whether or not it's the genuine love that will outlast the money, sex and, all the other things.Don't just be pressured into this lifestyle that nearly everyone around us has begun, been accustomed to for ages; do it for the right reasons and more importantly the right person. If you can be sure of all that then why not get married? Because it's expensive as hell... From the dress to centrepieces, the reception hall, the food, it's costs a ton of money to legally become "one" and you wanna show off how madly in love and amazingly wonderful it all is to family and friends and hey, maybe you invite exes or people who doubted it'd ever happen to you because F... them right?
But what if you end up in the fifty percent of divorce?
It was all for nothing and now you have to go through the expensive legal battle that is divorce...
The fact is that we don't need a verbal or legal contract to hold the other to it. If you're with the right person, what reason do you have to run off?
I realize that it does all come down to the two individuals involved but as far as ceremonies and such are concerned, you really just need the one you truly love, those you'd like to be there and then, if it were me, do your best to explain why you love them and why you'd like to spend the rest of your life with them. From that point on, you are bonded forever and you make decisions with them or with them in mind. Loving someone enough to spend what we like to think forever is together requires selflessness among a large array of other things... None of which marriage gives to you.
claw4

Con

I understand your concerns, however it seems to me you have more of an issue with weddings instead of marriage itself. I see marriage as a symbolic contract that you two are bound to each other. It's similar to how when you go from dating to being in a relationship, in theory it is a meaningless title but gives obligation to the people involved to not date/court anyone else until the relationship is broken. I see marriage as giving strength to the obligation by implying to the parties involved that the married couple are exclusive to each other. How marriage is handled in our modern world, with the extravagant weddings, and everything is probably over the top but I will still argue that marriage can prove necessary. Perhaps the purpose of marriage has been lost since gathering and securing resources today is not as trying as it was when our ancestors were treading the savanna, but it can prove advantageous today. We can see an example of this with people whose marriages are arranged for them. Because their parents try to pair them up with characteristics they believe will provide better offspring, or if the person has a good chance for success, we often see that arranged marriages tend to work out better. Perhaps it isn't marriage that is to blame for all the divorces, but rather our inability to recognize when a partner is compatible with us or not.
Debate Round No. 3
Levibe

Pro

I have my quarrels with both weddings and marriage itself. You do raise very good points and I respect as well as appreciate that. My biggest ones are that of the biblical and legal ends of it.
What is marriage? A broad Christian definition of marriage (Even if Christianity or religion in general isn't your thing, certainly isn't mine but we aren't debating that.) comes down to essentially three things. Legal marriage; paperwork and all, a formal ceremony and finally sex within wedlock. This is where there are a few snags...

Marriages have been happening for thousands of years without wedding license or any establish government has been in place. Some countries don't recognize marriage or there are no legal requirements for it and in some other countries have non religious/biblical requirements for it to be legally recognized.
In north America it is almost the same (Legal and religious recognition) but why? Why is it so important that the government and/or whichever religious sect be involved in my love life and who I chose to spend it with? It's good enough for me to know that who I am with will love me till they die and won't leave because I won't ever give them a reason to. First of all, that is how it should be, we shouldn't rush into anything serious like that without knowing for sure, just like you said: our inability to recognize when a partner is compatible with us or not.
These decisions to me seem to be hastily made and that is totally illogical; to know someone intimately and to be so sure of someone you wanna spend the rest of your lives together and potentially raise a family is HUGE. All these weddings, contracts, marriage licenses become totally irrelevant when both people involved know they've found what most would call true love or soul mates.
Everyone has different views on sex and sex outside of marriage. To me sex is human nature, sex is something we enjoy doing with who we share a connection with or who we're attracted in a very basic sense. Sex is natural, good and, beautiful. That's not to say everyone should who isn't married should go around having sex, we should also be informed. Here: http://www.xojane.com...
This is what could happen if everyone waits to have sex till marriage. It's important to get the right exposure at the appropriate times and be educated as well as safe.
I believe that covers all the bases... legal, ceremony and, sex.
claw4

Con

claw4 forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 4
2 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 2 records.
Posted by assiqt 2 years ago
assiqt
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All Big Issues
The Instigator
Eav
Pro (for)
Eav
The Contender
Peefer
Con (against)
Peefer
Marriage is outdated
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Argument Due
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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 10/10/2014 Category: Society
Updated: 1 day ago Status: Debating Period
Viewed: 105 times Debate No: 63011
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Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (7)
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Posted by assiqt 1 second ago
assiqt
Guess I'll jump in here. I believe EVERYTHING we consider socially should be a matter of choice. Not hindered by laws or RELIGION. Which I think causes most of the problems in these choices. Religion has used fear and guilt to sway peoples beliefs and what's right and wrong since the first "sin" was conceived by a Pope. There were homosexual men and women since the beginning. They are not going away. Not long ago interracial relationships were furiously frowned upon and sometimes with violence. Of course this is because or prejudice and fear. Marriage is an old concept which varies widely in other countries. Who is to say which is the "right" or "best" way? Religion? Only reason people are against polygamy nowadays is because of lack of choice and young women and men being abused. Robert Heinlein I think had the right idea. Contractual agreements. Multiple families together.
Posted by hamo94 2 years ago
hamo94
1st round is for acceptance?

And by taking con, we are arguing that marriage is not outdated in the sense that it is still politically and morally viable?
1 votes has been placed for this debate.
Vote Placed by lannan13 2 years ago
lannan13
Levibeclaw4Tied
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Total points awarded:60 
Reasons for voting decision: Forfeiture