The Instigator
Ofek
Con (against)
Losing
0 Points
The Contender
lightingbolt50
Pro (for)
Winning
3 Points

Is it me or is it my mother?

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 1 vote the winner is...
lightingbolt50
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 5/19/2014 Category: People
Updated: 2 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 637 times Debate No: 55056
Debate Rounds (5)
Comments (8)
Votes (1)

 

Ofek

Con

To start off this is a ridiculous, yet serious topic for me right now. In this me vs. mom situation I'll be telling my side and try to tell my mom's side of the story. Yes, I understand that this sounds like some childish thing and why am I bringing it up here but its more like advice because honestly I got no one to listen to me. I am Con so I'll be arguing from my side and if you're my opponent you'll prove to me how my mom is right and that I should just shut up and listen to her.

I don't want to make this a long story because I'm sure you don't have the time for that but I'll try to keep it short.

Well, lets go.

My side: I really just don't understand what I'm doing anymore to get her angry. Everyday when she comes home from work its always anger and verbal abuse from her. I know this sounds stupid and I'm a guy but ever since I was young she would yell at me for everything. This isn't your normal mom nagging or reminding no she goes bizarre. She goes crazy for every mistake or no mistake I've ever done in my life. One year ago when I finally had the nerve to tell her my own opinion it just got worst. I don't talk back or anything and when I tell her what I think I say it calmly and not raise my voice. That doesn't help. She's a very... Judgmental lady and whenever we go out she always has to dress up even for a little grocery shopping. Which in turn forces me to wear suits to the store. Yup, sometimes I wear a suit to go to Target at 8 am. She's very racist too, judging by clothes and color. Tells me not to hang out with these people by how they look and their status. I absolutely hate it.
She always tells me how much she is to me and how I would be nothing without her (which I guess is true, since she made me) and what annoys me the most is how she degrades me in front of my siblings. I'm the oldest in my family, sibling wise. Whenever she gets home she tells them don't be like your older brother he's a fool he doesn't love any of you. He does nothing for this family don't be like him. Than she'll start crying. I don't understand. I really don't. Whenever my youngest sibling (I must say the spoiled one) does something very wrong and I confront him about it oh no my mom will butt in and say " He's like this because of you! Don't blame him, look at yourself you disgrace!"
He was running in the store and when I told him to stop he wouldn't. I saw a lady coming by the corner and I grabbed his collar and I told him wait! He tugged away and bumped into her causing for her to drop her two shakes. Quickly she went away to get some help or towels but my brother just looked down and went to mom. I expected my mother to scold him but no she just walked out the store with him. Later when I confronted her about it I told her that didn't she see what happen?! She stayed quiet and I told her you can't let Stephan behave like this he should've at least said sorry! That's when the bomb exploded. She yelled with all her might at me it was freaking scary. She told me how I cant say anything because I'm lower than him and I cant do anything. How ungrateful and wrong I am and to want my brother to be scolded what kind of brother am I. Than she goes on her roll telling me all the things she's been through like how she had to wash laundry by hand not machine.
Everything single mistake is just a mistake of why I was born.

My Mom's Side: These are my theories of what I'm doing wrong. She continuously everyday tells me these things; you don't care about the family, you don't clean your room (honestly my room is pretty clean, clear floor and I make my bed everyday), you don't clean the bathroom, dishes, you don't care about your siblings, stop playing games and go read the bible, learn your prayers, I'm making you go to church school, what's wrong with you? Why are you hanging out with them, do you want to be them? You make our family look bad. Why can't you be like their family. That boy is younger and he has more balls than you. Why why why why why can't you be like them? Everything you do Is wrong. You always think you're right, a spanking will teach you. You don't know anything.

Stuff all the stuff in the world is this. This everyday all this yelling.
Some people dread to come to school, I love school I really do. People are so nice and understanding. I dread coming home hearing all those things.
I don't know why but today triggered it. Today triggered it so I can finally just let it out even if no one reads this or responds I finally just let it out.

I don't really believe in anything right now but I do want to. I just cant find anything to motivate me and I have bad memories of church. This is another long story but lets say my mother is 10 times more harsh when it comes to God.

All I'm asking is that this is all biased for my view so from a third person view you can tell me what I'm doing wrong so please go ahead and be honest.

Thank you
lightingbolt50

Pro

At least from what you've told me, your not the problem at all. Though, I can't give you much useful tips without some more info. Your mother seems like a huge arse-hole (not helpful, I know). Honestly, there's not much I can do. The best thing to do is to just play along with what he wants, even if you diasagree with it greatly. I would say you could respectfully debate her on those things, though that might just make the situation worse.
Debate Round No. 1
Ofek

Con

Thank you for accepting this request and I also apologize for the how long it took me to reply, I have school too haha. Yes I know that of course I can't fully explain my situation on here but if there are any questions I will gladly try to answer them! Just all these years I always blamed my mom and why is she like this and blah blah but honestly what if she is right? For example I have a home and food on the table so whenever she calls me ungrateful I thought wow actually what if I really am? That's why I know its silly to post personal business on here and this isn't a counsel or psychologist website but I just really needed a third person view of the situation.
So right now I should just continue with everything not make any changes?
I honestly don't know anymore.
Thank you for taking this topic and if you have any questions please just lay it on me! This is a debate so I'm trying to see where my Mother is correct in this situation.
lightingbolt50

Pro

Well, even if you are ungrateful that is still unfairly treating you. Your siblings probably aren't grateful, either. If you think your mother can handle it, I'd suggest politely talking and debating about how unfair it is, and why she treats you like that, but not your siblings. If you don't think she can handle it, you'll just have to make the best of your situation.
Debate Round No. 2
Ofek

Con

Thanks for the response, I would take your advice - if I haven't already done that already. It goes in a cycle, I confront her, she tells me all the reasons why I shouldn't be complaining and tattling on my siblings which just brings me deeper into the hole. Honestly this is complicated and weird so I want to thank you for taking me up for this. Also don't worry it seems like this has caught the attention of another person and they're helping me greatly! It's fine to end it here and once again thank you and everyone else who went through this debate!
lightingbolt50

Pro

Ok, hope it helped you in some way, good luck!
Debate Round No. 3
Ofek

Con

Ofek forfeited this round.
lightingbolt50

Pro

lightingbolt50 forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 4
Ofek

Con

Ofek forfeited this round.
lightingbolt50

Pro

lightingbolt50 forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 5
8 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 8 records.
Posted by Ofek 3 years ago
Ofek
Ah we're Asian, Vietnamese to be precise. Why do you ask?
Posted by HaykTheKhulyan 3 years ago
HaykTheKhulyan
I have a qeustion; Where are you and your mother from? (Ethnicity wise)
Posted by lightingbolt50 3 years ago
lightingbolt50
I apologize for not being very good at this debate, I haven't had a similar debate yet so it's very new to me.
Posted by Ofek 3 years ago
Ofek
Haha yea I know this isn't the place for me to talk about my personal life I wanted to go one debate for the reason that I might be at wrong so someone could prove it to me. Thank you for all your comments it does mean a lot.
Posted by duckman 3 years ago
duckman
It sounds like your mom wants a child that likes what she likes and acts like her so the perfact child ,which is a one in a million chance and your not the son she wanted so she's hopping your siblings will be the perfect children she wants and your just the odd one out. So she tells them not to grow up to be like you and she treats you like your below them and her
Posted by InfraFred 3 years ago
InfraFred
Buddy, this is debate.org not yahoo answers.
Posted by Shikyo 3 years ago
Shikyo
Well from what it sounds like, she treats you unfairly and unreasonably. There is no reason what so ever for her to say those things towards you, no matter how angry she is. even if you should forget to do a chore or something every now and then, that's normal. So I'd say that you are in the right and she is in the wrong here.
Posted by MolecularBird 3 years ago
MolecularBird
Your Mom is a dick.
1 votes has been placed for this debate.
Vote Placed by Blade-of-Truth 2 years ago
Blade-of-Truth
Ofeklightingbolt50Tied
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Total points awarded:03 
Reasons for voting decision: Pro answered the question posed by Con. Con ended by thanking Pro for his advice. This really should have been conducted in the forum section. Just a word of advice for the future. Best of luck to you both in life.