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Is it ok for my girlfriend to have a girlfriend (and yes have a sexual relationship with her)

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 10/9/2015 Category: Society
Updated: 2 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 649 times Debate No: 80752
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (9)
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Ok first off, hot lesbians are the most sexually amazing thing I have ever seen. yes I'm very attracted and in away a little jealous that sometimes I feel it is easier for hot women to pick up other beautiful women than it is for men.

I'm not completely blind to the fact that it could back fire, say they have a relationship then decide to really hit it off then go to orgies with other men behind my back. I take that as cheating. Or worse comes to worse she decides to completely dump me then I'm left as fool for others in the sense that "wow dude you let your woman fool around with another girl the entire time and didn't cut her off". I could see that to be embarrassing and a hit on my intelligence.

or it could go like they have a relationship, are open about it with me. They do show signs of affection in front of me. They keep in at the house or if at public they keep their relationship restricted. My girlfriend is still into me. I might even occasionally get invited into a threesome or next step after that a polyamory relationship. but we just keep it between the three of us.

Ultimately I can go on for days about all the different best/worse case scenarios that can occur. question is, should a man ultimately willing to share their female significant other with another woman? yes or no....I down but I could be wrong.


Reasons it's okay:

1. Your girlfriend has lesbian needs.

2. You don't have lady parts.

3. It would be selfish to deny her.

4. Hot, feminine women aren't a threat to your male territory.

5. Lesbian sex can't get her pregnant.

6. Lesbian sex has a very low HIV risk.

7. You get to have a MFF threesome.

8. There are no other dudes involved.

Reasons it's bad:

None. As long as reasons 1 to 8 are true, my opponent wins the debate.
Debate Round No. 1


See now even my contender gives me a placard of reasons why the debate is a no contest. Does lesbian sex have a low HIV/STD rate? That would be cool to know as a fact. But yes that pretty much sums up my debate. see I wanted to bring people to this debate as I have some friends back home that thing I'm a fool if I ever let this happen. I just don't see the big deal.

Again I would let this happen with the criteria listed above, my only thing is that I feel the girlfriend of my girlfriend if I didn't know anything about her might say hey lets go to this orgy, ok will there be guys involved? that's where I would have a problem. That's the only thing I would be concerned with. We also got to think lets say the other chick was bi-sexual as well. she had sex with a guy and she contracted an STD. Then my girl and her were grinding it up one day. crap what happens when it's my turn?

Other than those two reasons I don't see a big deal


Well... it depends HOW they're doing it. If they're sharing toys, exchanging fluids, or have sores around their mouths, then the STD risk is the same. Basically, the reason lesbian sex is normally safer is because it's non-penetrative.

Whether she'll cheat depends on why she's doing this. Is she actually bisexual? A lot of girls say they're bisexual, but are really just doing it because it's hot, and are just as likely to bang a biker dude. And not just straight girls either; some lesbians bang guys for the same reason. Or, they date guys (i.e. you) because it's more socially accepted.

Really, this all comes down to several things:

1. How much do you trust her? If you can feel in your gut that she's going to cheat, then she probably is.

2. Did she okay the lesbian relationship with you first? If she doesn't consider your feelings, that should be a red flag.

3. How often do these threesome invites actually occur, and do you get to bang her lady friend?

4. If your girlfriend had to choose, would she pick you over her lady? If not, then you're the third wheel, and that makes you a sucker.

5. Do you honestly have a future with this girl? If not, prepare an exit strategy for when the invites stop coming.
Debate Round No. 2


you know you are abosoutly right this is a situation that could go either way. I will be sure to in the future to consider my options. I'll say this I think I will let her have a girl toy. That maybe once in awhile or for Pete sakes my birthday I will be invited to a threesome. If things start to progress I will prepare a plan to have make an ultimatum and as you said an exit strategy.

If my wife or girlfriend and a sexual affair with a woman I would not be affected by it. I wouldn't think its a huge deal. my ex let a girl go down on her in my house I thought it was hot and not a big deal. you know what ok, if my woman had a mistress I would not care. If it did progress into a dating relationship I would have to start asking questions. Ok I guess what my friends back home were trying to warn me about was what if it developed into something more and that would be the problem.


Only on your birthday?!? Dude, unless you're involved at least 1/5th of the time, get out now.
Debate Round No. 3


Well again this is a theoretical question, with the girls I got lined up back home it probably wont happen. If it did I now know the path to take. I will definalty keep all of what you mentioned in mind. I think i could make it work but I do nowknow the early warning signs.


I'm glad I could help.
Debate Round No. 4
9 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 9 records.
Posted by stainless67 2 years ago
yes that was a consideration
Posted by anoushkachakraborty2001 2 years ago
think about this: what happens if she enjoys lesbian sex more than straight sex and dumps you?
Posted by stainless67 2 years ago
Kyronthewise, what I meant was the guy was a good morale person just like you or me. I'm not into men, I was referring to if he was just an average person without any significant flaws. He good be elder frank the Mormon for instance. I personally feel I could share my girlfriend with another woman pending certain conditions are met. I'm naturally not going to share her with another man.
Posted by Nivek 2 years ago
Posted by Mister_Man 2 years ago
"I might even occasionally get invited into a threesome..."

I think you have your answer, lololol
Posted by V5RED 2 years ago
I am not sure what you mean by her not being solely yours, and depending on your answer, I fail to see how she is currently solely yours.

You are already sharing her with another person, gender seems irrelevant.

As to your issues with having sex with her being the same as having sex with any other guy she is with, unless you have only slept with virgins, then by that definition, you have already had sex with many men. It also sounds rather homophobic. Homosexual practices would be you putting his penis in your mouth, not you having sex with her today after she had sex with him yesterday. Another issue is that the impression I get from your post is that you think a relationship between women doesn't count or that it doesn't count to the degree that a relationship between a man and a woman counts. I don't think this is deliberate on your part, but it is coming through pretty strongly.

To your STD concern, that is a hollow concern given you are okay with her sleeping with other women.
Posted by KyronTheWise 2 years ago
The issue with this debate is that, unless one argues a universal moral code (which I know some do), then it's entirely up to you. Also, slight confusion. Opening sentence- "No prejudice towards LGBT". Final sentence "Even if he was okay in my book, I would view that as homosexual practice (Implied negative connotation?). Elaborate.
Posted by stainless67 2 years ago
Because I'am hedrosexual with no prejudice to the LGBT communtiy of course. I just dont feel it's a big deal with women who are into other women. I'm also a traditionalist and I feel natually it would be cheating if she shared me with another man because it would be like having sex with him I would know shes not soley mine for the duration of that relationship. if she does her thing with another woman I feel that yes I'am just at great a risk for an STD as if she was with another man. But i would have an intimitation factor or the need to the compete. Example I would be sharing my girlfriend with another man, even if he was "ok" in my book I would view that as homosexual practices.
Posted by V5RED 2 years ago
If you are currently in a polyamorous relationship, then why does does it matter to you if her other partners are men or women?
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