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Is it possible to Romantically Love two people?

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 2/13/2015 Category: People
Updated: 3 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 445 times Debate No: 70018
Debate Rounds (4)
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1) Love is defined on as a profound, tender, passionate affection for another.
2) Since love can be defined as a passionate affection for another, that does not mean it can be limited to just one physical being.
3) In parts of Africa and the Middle-East, polygamy is a practice that is permitted and allowed where a man can be married to more than one partner, of which marriage is defined as a ceremonial pledge where partners establish their decision to unite themselves intimately to have a committed relationship with one another.
4) Love itself has many variations, whether it be objective, lust, or romantic; a person could love more than one partner at the same time romantically due to the fact that love is not a physical ailment that can be defined into one simple definition.
5) By nature and what we can see about our primal cousins and other species, monogamy doesn't typically exist in the animal kingdom. Many male species have their own primal instinct to mate with all female partners that are fertile. Primates are scientifically proven to be above 99% of their DNA parallel to human beings, so does that make us that different in the way our minds work? Since we are technically evolved primates, then we shouldn't deny the need to love more than one person if it passes our brain.
6) Love is an emotion; emotions happen randomly. You can be angry, sad, happy; love is also an emotion. You can feel "love", and it is typically stated throughout many films and the main media as something that is "unexplained".

7) Therefore, it can be possible to love more than one person at the same time.

Non Controversial: Premises 1 and 2 are based upon definitions that can be found in dictionaries and online, thus it can not be controversial. Premise 5 is shown if you simply read books on the Animal Kingdom, watch Animal Planet, or simply study Biology because we are genetically 99%+ related to primates.

Controversial: Premise 3 can be controversial if you believe that you don't have to be intimate with someone else just because you are married with them. Premise 4 could be argued simply because love in itself has many definitions and can be seen differently for everyone. Premise 6 is the argument that I am stating because love is something that has been broadcast throughout the years as something that can basically just "happen", but it can be argued as wrong if you think so. Love is just something that you can't restrict to being explained as a feeling that can only be towards one physical being. R03;


1.Love is a complex emotion, that people, can develop over time and slowly drift apart, or fall into or out of almost immediately.

2.Love being as complex as it is, it is hard for a lot of people to tell whether they are truly in love or not.

3.People generally have affairs because they have fallen out of love with their partners, people generally cheat by "accident", in both cases the person cheating only loves one person.

4.Just because a person does not love his or her partner while having an affair, does not mean that that person having the affair cannot go back to loving their original partner, that person just needs to stop loving his or her affair partner. alone cannot be considered love. Even though various chemicals are released in the brain during intercourse with anyone. There would still be a far greater emotional connection between lovers that is just as, if not more important.

6.For certain religious people, sex before marriage is not alright, but many of those people still love there partners just as much as couples who do regularly have sex.

7.Therefore, because when people cheat, it is due to the lack of love for one of their partners, and because love is more than just sex, it is likely not possible to romantically love more than one person.

Non Controversial: 1 and 2 are just about what love is, and state that it is a complex emotion. 3 states that the people in the situations I described both only loved one person, because the married person no longer loved his or her spouse, and the person who cheated did not do so romantically with the person he or she cheated with.

Controversial: For number 4, it makes sense in context with number 3, but can be argued in different ways. For number 5 I stated that the emotional side of love is just as, if not more important, some may believe that the physical side has a lot more to do with love. for Number 6 I said that people who do not have sex before marriage love there partners just as much as those who do, if the physical side of love is more important than I stated it was, than this can be argued.
Debate Round No. 1


1) I agree with your definition of love.
2) I agree and understand that people don't know if they're in love or not.
3) I understand that people cheat and have affairs, but that is being too general about the situation. There can be a situation where a man has a girlfriend that he loves, but he had just broken up with his ex-girlfriend that he loved for a 2 year relationship, thus he still has feelings for her as well as his current partner.
4) You are basically claiming that something like love is easy to just "fall out of". There are many television shows such as Maury or Steve Wilkos Show that have guests who are in multiple affairs and claim themselves they love both partners and it's difficult to just pick one. Love is a parasite that holds a grip on the host, and it may be difficult to let go of your feelings for one person if you're in a situation to choose two. Every person provides different benefits, and those benefits may be unique enough to be considered as enough reason to love both partners.
5) I understand that sex is not love alone, but having sex with a partner you keep going back to requires some sort of connection. We aren't talking about a prostitute or escort here because there's no love connection there, but if a man is consistently sleeping with the same two women there must be a reason. Sex is something that is required to give up if there's a connection between the two parties, not just a casual encounter.
6) Your statement is unclear to me in how it relates to how you're trying to state that loving two people at the same time is wrong.


1.You agreed with my definition of love in which I stated that that people can fall out almost immediately, but in your 4th point you say that love is like a parasite that holds a
grip on it"s host, this is not necessarily always the case.

2.You also agreed with me that it is difficult to determine whether a person is in love or not, in your 4th point, couldn"t the people on Maury or Steve Wilkos merely be confused about their feelings for multiple people, not knowing whether what they feel is love or not, and not truly knowing whether they are in love with either person?

3.I agree my original definition may have been too vague, and I agree that after a long relationship it may be difficult to sort out a person"s feelings, but just because there are residual feelings after the break up, it does not necessarily mean that the person with a new partner truly still loves their old one, those may just be the last bit of feelings for that person"s old partner that the person is now taking away and placing on their knew one.

4.I agree that it would be tough if a person was put on the spot and had to choose between two people, but there are many reasons that a person might be trying to stay with both, like you said there are many benefits, a person might just want to stay with one of the people because of all the stuff that person gives him or her, or because they don"t want to go through a lengthy divorce, while he or she truly loves the other person.

5.I agree that there has to be a reason a man would be sleeping with two women, perhaps just to try to make his wife believe that he is not seeing anyone else, he may not feel the emotions that he feels for his affair partner.

6.My statement was merely a back up for my 5th point saying that people who do not have sex in their relationship can still love each other similarly to couples that do.
Debate Round No. 2


1: I see that I contradicted myself with two of my points. I will have to return to fix my statement in my final argument.
2: I understand what you are saying, and it was my fault to use a television show as an example since it has a high chance of solely being scripted to fit the audience watching it.
3: I see that we are at a sort of middle-ground in acknowledging that a person may still have feelings for their ex, but at the same time our statements differ in how you're saying they might not still be in love. If a man is with a new girl and still keeps thinking about his long-term-relationship with his ex-girlfriend and returns to her countless times, it can still be that he still loves her as well as loving his current partner.
4: R03;I'm not sure if you are at an understanding with me on this point because it seems to me like you are trying to say that benefits or a lengthy divorce aren't related to feelings of love.
5: Well, as of my prior statement, if a man is sleeping with two women at the same time, there has to be some sort of love connection if it's the same two women and not different partners each time.
6: I agree with what you are saying in your statement about love and sex doesn't have to be related, but I only believe that for certain cases where the man or women specifically has no love connection with their partner.



2.The show may be scripted but not entirely fake, the people on it may be over exaggerating many things to get a reaction out of people though.

3.For this one I might have to change up my argument, perhaps someone who is in a situation where he or she is constantly thinking about an ex, does have feelings for both people, but only romantically loves one of them.

4.I am not saying that divorce cannot be about feelings of love, I am just saying that someone who has found another person to love might not want to break up with, their original partner who they no longer love, just because of all the things that they might lose.

5.agreed, but one of them must be much less important than the other. One of the women, the man truly loves, while the other one might have a connection with him, but it cannot be called romantic love.

6.I do not quite understand this one, yes sex does make up a part of love, but the person that a man or woman would truly love would be the one that he or she has the strongest emotional connection to.
Debate Round No. 3


1. I agree with you that love is something you can just fall out of.
2. Love doesn't have to be for just one single entity and can happen for more than one person.
3. A person can still be in love with their ex if the relationship was long-term even though they have a new partner.
4. Love comes in many different forms and variations.
5. We shouldn't deny our primal instincts which may lead us to have a love connection for more than one partner. If it leads to sex, it must mean something if it's to the same partners.
6. Sex and love can be related to each other based on who the individual is and what their history is with their partners.

You brought up many good points that had me rethink my argument, so for now I have said above what my final thoughts are. For these reasons, I therefore believe that it is possible to romantically love more than one person at the same time.


1.We both agree that love is a rather random, and that a person can fall in love and out of love rather quickly.

2.For many people it is tough to know that they are in love at all.

3.There were a few instances where you showed people who seem to be romantically in love with more than one person, the woman on Maury, and the Polygamists in the East, but while they may love more than one person, I feel that they truly only romantically love one.

4.I agree love can come in many different ways.

5.While a person maybe sleeping with the same two partners, I think that only one of those partners has his or her true romantic love, while the other merely has some of his affection.

6.I agree that sex is a large part of love, larger than I originally made it out to be, but I still feel like the emotional connection is just as important, and couples who do not engage in sex can still have a very strong sense of romantic love. A person having an affair does not necessarily mean that they romantically love both partners.

While there were many of your points that made plenty of sense, and you showed several examples of people believing that they were in love with more than one person, due to the complexity of love, and questioning whether those people truly romantically love both people, or just show affection towards one, and have a much deeper connection with the other. Therefore I still believe that Romantic love can only exist between two people.
Debate Round No. 4
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