The Instigator
BrandonTorres
Pro (for)
Tied
0 Points
The Contender
atiyacole93
Con (against)
Tied
0 Points

Is it possible to romantically love more than one person? (2)

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 2/14/2015 Category: People
Updated: 2 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 498 times Debate No: 70049
Debate Rounds (4)
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BrandonTorres

Pro

1.Romantic love is the expressive and pleasurable feeling from an emotional attraction towards another person
2.The definition of romantic love does not limit an individual"s emotions to one person.
3.There are instances, such as open relationships, where both participants date other people successfully. An example where someone dates other people and the multiple partners accept such behavior is the television show, The Bachelor.
4.Dating more than one person gives both parties an opportunity to fall romantically in love with someone else as well as his/her significant other.
5.Being married does promise an individual to another until death, but there have been many situations in which one party cheats on his/her spouse and falls romantically in love with someone else.
6.Traditionally, marrying someone means that you are romantically in love with that person, but that does not mean that, if you cheat and fall romantically in love with someone else, you"re not still romantically in love with your spouse.
7.Therefore, it is possible to romantically love more than one person.
atiyacole93

Con

1.I agree with the stated definition of romantic love being, expressive and pleasurable feelings from an emotional attraction towards another person.
2.The definition of romantic love does limit and individuals emotions to one person, because in order to invest your emotions of attraction to someone you must invest your time and effort into them to allow your brain to be capable of growing these invested feelings of one person at a time. Focusing on multiple people will not allow the brain to truly invest these feelings of emotion to multiple people, due to the limited effort by rationing out their limited time to multiple people.
3.I disagree with your premise (3) because just because someone is dating multiple people at once, does not mean that they are romantically in love with them all. Therefore your premise (3) cannot hold. The topic is being romantically in love with more than one more at once not dating multiple people at once.
4.Statistic show that being romantically in love with more than one person at once causes stress, poor time management, jealously, unhealthy competition and in the end emotional heart break from most participants.
5.When a person is married and cheats on their spouse, either they are not romantically in love with their spouse anymore, or they are just confusing their emotional feelings of romantic love with lust, or infatuation, with the person they are not married to. This is because, to be romantically in love is to express emotional attraction towards another person, as stated in the definition. To gain emotions towards something it takes strong feelings that has been manifested over a long period of time.
6.Emotional attraction is not be mistaken with the physical short-term momentary attraction of lust and infatuation.
7.In order to romantically love someone a person must give commitment, time and energy. These things are necessary to give, because being romantically in love, is to gain emotions from the way a person make you feel as stated in our definition. In order to make a person feel good emotionally one must commit their time and energy without trying to multitask their time and energy with another participant added into the relationship.
8.Having a relationship that consist of trying to romantically love more than one person at once only truly benefits the primary person in the relationship, because the primary person in the relationship is getting the opinion of two people, in which they will eventually break one of their hearts in the long run. Breaking their heart proves they only really loved one of the participants not both.
9.Therefore it is not possible to be romantically in love with more than one person at a time

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Non-controversial: premises 1, 6, and 4 are non-controversial, because premise (1) and (6) are stating definitions. Premise (4) is stating tested statistics from www.Healthguidance.org.
Controversial premises: 2, 3, 5, 7 and 8 are controversial because they are stating my opinions.
(2) To be romantically in love and possess emotion is to give a person your all. You cannot invest your emotions into multiple people at once because your limited time and energy will not allow you to give the person you are trying to romantically love your all, when rationing it out to multiple people. My partner can argue that the action of giving a person your all is based on the character of the person who is giving it.
(3) It doesn"t not mean you are romantically in love with multiple people at once, just because you are dating them. A person can go on dates and spend time with their friends or family member that does not mean they are romantically in love with them. A person can date multiple people and not be romantically in love with any of them.
(5)and (7) Emotions are made from feeling that are created over time, this is why when a person cheats on another person they are romantically in love with they are doing it out of the feeling of lust and infatuation, due to the fact it takes a while to grow romantic emotion of love.
(8)Psychologically, if you truly romantically love someone you would have space, time and energy in your heart to romantically love another person, or break their heart.
Debate Round No. 1
BrandonTorres

Pro

2.Giving someone your all does not prevent you from giving someone else that same attention. In the early stages of a relationship, you are not spending every waking moment with whomever you"re dating. With that being said, it is possible to give two different people that same amount of attention, time and effort. Giving each of those people the same chance, it is possible to develop the same feelings for both people and eventually falling romantically in love with each of them.
3.I concede that having sex with more than one person does not mean that they are romantically in love, but continuously putting in time to spend with those people would bring about the opportunity for them to fall romantically in love with one another.
4.I realize you stated that premise (4) was uncontroversial, but I would just like to point out that in your definition, you stated that it is possible to be romantically in love with more than one person. Even though it may not end well, the fact still remains that for a moment in time, it is possible to be romantically in love with more than one person.
5.If a man or women cheats on their spouse once, then I concede to your statement saying that it is out of infatuation and lust. But if he/she cheats more than once and starts to spend more and more time with this other person, then there is a possibility that he/she could start to fall romantically in love with that other person as well as his/her spouse. In doing so, he/she may get divorced or separated, but for a short amount of time, he/she could have been romantically in love with his/her spouse as well as the person he/she cheated with.
7.For arguments sake, let"s say the man is cheating on his wife. If he starts cheating continuously with the same woman and that woman knows about his wife, then the man and his mistress could strategically plan their relationship around his and his wife"s relationship.
8.In your argument (8) you once again support my side of the argument. A man/woman trying to romantically love two people would, indeed, reek all of the benefits and in doing so, he/she would romantically love both people equally. Although, he/she may need to break it off with one of them to keep the other, but then again, for a moment he/she did love more than one person at a time. To further my argument, if he/she could not choose because he/she did love them both equally, then he/she would be the one that ends up heart broken because he/she would have to lose them both.
atiyacole93

Con

(2) Commitment and devotion is conducive to being in a romantically in love. I agree a person can date two people at once, but they will only really be romantically in love with one of them. The person in which whom they give the most time and attention to subconsciously, will most likely be that one due to favoritism. The emotions and feelings of being romantically love with gravitate the person into being around the one person them favorite the most, while giving less attention to the other person in the relationship. This proves that the person only truly romantically loves one person and lust for the other one.
(4)When being romantically in love with a person, you possess it through emotion. In order to gain these emotions, they must build up through longevity. The attempt to trying to be romantically in love with multiple people has a small success rate. The attempt usually fails fast, which doesn"t give the opportunity for the participants to really feel the emotions of romantic love. Thus making the relationship with multiple partners only a zone of lust and infatuation not love. If a person truly loved someone romantically they will have long lasting emotions.
(5) If a man or women cheats on his spouse more than once then he or she no longer carry the feelings of being romantically in love with them anymore. Their action of cheating is an outline to finding romantic love in which they are lacking in their marriage. With that being said, just because two people are married that the does not mean they are still in love romantically. They can love each other platonically and care about each other, but the emotion of being romantically in love is lost. This means when they cheat on their spouse they are only married to them, while being romantically in love with their mistress or side partner. Thus making them only be romantically in love with one person at a time, but still in a marriage. This is seen all the time when married couples are separated rather than divorced.
(7) If a man is continuously cheating on his wife, then he is no longer is romantically in love with her, as I explained before. He is still in a marriage with her, but he lacks the emotions and feeling of being romantically in love with her, so he cheats. So I agree with you that he is still married to her but he is only in love with his mistress while still being in a marriage.
(8) Yes, I am proving that open relationships and marriages are possible, however just because participants are involved in one of those relationships, does not mean the participants are romantically in love with all of the individuals involved in it at once. The topic is whether or not it is possible to be romantically in love with more than one person at once. Just because a person is in a relationship does not meant they are romantically in love, for they could just all really like each. Therefore it is not possible to romantically love more than one person at once, but it is possible to be in a relationship with them.
Debate Round No. 2
BrandonTorres

Pro

2.Your argument that showing favoritism and spending more time with one person would ultimately prove that the person getting the most time and effort would be the one that the individual is romantically in love with. I would like to point out the possibility of the individual purposely showing one person more attention and time so that he/she does not become suspicious of the other individual that he/she is seeing and is also romantically in love with. I understand that chances of this are not high, but the possibility is all that is needed to question and disprove your argument.
4.Once again, in your definition from round 1 you stated that it is possible to romantically love more than one person. In round 2, you stated that romantically loving more than one person has a small success rate. You did state that it fails quickly more usually than not, but you are further proving my point that it is possible to romantically love more than one person at a time.
5.&7. I concede that the being married while also having someone that an individual loves romantically on the side would imply that he/she does not romantically love his her spouse anymore, but in the process of falling in love with someone other than an individual"s spouse, he/she could still romantically love his/her spouse. Therefore, overlapping romantic love with two individuals.
8. I understand what you are saying about being in relationships with multiple people and not being in love with them romantically, but having multiple relationships would present the opportunity in each and every one of those relationships to fall romantically in love with those people. Therefore, given the opportunity, such as multiple relationships, it is possible to fall romantically in love with more than one individual at a time.
atiyacole93

Con

When a person cheats on a spouse they cannot overlap the feelings of being romantically in love, because in order to form the impulse action of cheating, and individual must have already lost romantic love and desires for their spouse. Thus resulting in the reasoning of them venturing out of the marriage to find romantic love that they are missing or failing to receive. This shows that the spouse is only loving one individual at a time not simultaneously seeing that they lost romantic love for their marriage partner and loving their mistress only.
If you are romantically in love with a person and favor them, your feelings time and energy would not allow you to neglect them in such a way to spent time minimal time with them for another person, in which whom you do not like as much. This is simple it"s like ice cream flavors. If a person loves chocolate and only likes vanillas, they will always choice chocolate to eat without hesitation. This proves that it is only possible to be romantically in love with one person and only like the other person, even though you are dating both of them at the same time.
I am sticking to my argument that it is possible to be in a relationship with more than one person, but it is not possible to romantically be in love with all them. In reference to my statement in round 1 and round 2, yes it is possible to date and be in a relationship or attempt to be in a relationship with multiple people, but that does not mean they will achieve the feeling of being romantically in love. Thus making the relationship fail, because it is not possible
Debate Round No. 3
BrandonTorres

Pro

1.Romantic love is the expressive and pleasurable feeling from an emotional attraction towards another person
2.The definition of romantic love does not limit an individual"s emotions to one person.
3.In an instance such as open relationships, gives an individual the opportunity to find multiple partners and to spend the necessary time with them to fall romantically in love with any number of them.
4.Being married does not prove that an individual will romantically love his/her spouse eternally, although, in America, when we get married it is because we romantically love our significant other and promise to do so forever. With that in mind, romantically loving that person, the finding someone else that you love while you are married could imply that there is a period, in which, you love your spouse and another person romantically at the same time.
5.Cheating on your spouse does not prove that you do not romantically love him/her anymore. Therefore, the possibility of loving someone else simultaneously remains.
6.No matter how many relationships an individual has at once, as long as it is more than one, the possibility still remains.
7.Thus, there is no evidence to one hundred percent guarantee that an individual cannot romantically love more than one person at a time.
atiyacole93

Con

1.The stated definition of romantic love being, expressive and pleasurable feelings from an emotional attraction towards another person.
2.The definition of romantic love does limit and individuals emotions to one person, because in order to invest your emotions of attraction to someone you must invest your time and effort into them.
3.Just because someone is dating multiple people at once, does not mean that they are romantically in love with them all.
4.Emotional attraction is not be mistaken with the physical short-term momentary attraction of lust and infatuation. Emotional attraction is within the means of feeling romantically in love.
5.In order to romantically love someone a person must give commitment, time and energy. These things are necessary to give, because being romantically in love, is to gain emotions from the way a person make you feel as stated in our definition. In order to make a person feel good emotionally one must commit their time and energy without trying to multitask their time and energy with another participant added into the relationship.
6.Therefore it is not possible to be romantically in love with more than one person at a time. The emotions of romantic love is only structured to be devoted to one person at a time
Debate Round No. 4
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