The Instigator
raqueljb
Con (against)
Tied
0 Points
The Contender
Hansfordl
Pro (for)
Tied
0 Points

Is it possible to romantically love more than one person at once?

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 2/14/2015 Category: Philosophy
Updated: 1 year ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 258 times Debate No: 70082
Debate Rounds (4)
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Votes (0)

 

raqueljb

Con

(1.) Love is a strong feeling or constant affection for a person.
(2.) Romantic love or being in love is a strong feeling of affection and concern for another person accompanied by sexual attraction.
(3.) Lust can very well be confused as love. Lust is having a very strong sexual desire.
(4.) A person can easily confuse feelings of lust for love and cannot tell the difference.
(5.)If someone is in love with more than one person, it will be hard for them to distinguish if the "love" is real or not.
(6.)A relationship begins to become messy and hard to handle when more than two people are involved.
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(7.) Therefore, it is not possible to romantically love more than one person at once.

Non-controversial
Premises 1,2, and 3 are just definitions.

Controversial
Premises 4,5, and 6 can be controversial. My opponent may disagree with these premises because they have different views or scenarios that work for them.
Hansfordl

Pro

(1) it is possible for someone to romantically in love with more than one person
(2) premises 1 & 2 are definitions both myself and my opponent agreed upon
(3) The definition here of lust, I agree with. However, when you are emotionally involved with someone, that becomes a different kind of interest. These intimate feelings can be shared with multiples
(4/5) when a person is single and is discovering their interest with other people (thus being involved with more than one partner), they may begin to several. Love them with that same "strong feeling of affection" it may not be the same type of romantic love, but it can be possible
(6) If the interest of two people are equal, the person involved with both would try to give their all to prove themselves.
(7)Thus, it is possible to love two people at once if there is effort being shared

Controversial
Premise 1
Argument: it is possible someone to be romantically in love with two people

Premises 3,4, and 5 are in response to how my opponents thoughts about loving two people.

Premise 6,7
Reasons why someone may be in the position to loving multiples romantically
Debate Round No. 1
raqueljb

Con

1. It cannot be possible for one to be romantically in love with multiple people. They can have once been in love with someone but once they find someone else they will focus their feelings on that one person and begin to only be in love with them.

3. When involved with multiple people, intimacy varies. A person can be intimate with many people but truly only be in love with one person. The more intimate someone is with their partner the more comfortable they feel. They will share things with their partner that they may realize they cannot share with other partners. They will begin to realize that they are in love with one and not the other.

4. Someone can be involved with multiple people but their feelings for those people may only be that of lust. They will find themselves getting more intimate with one person and less with others.

5. A person can go out and discover their interests with other people but they will find themselves more attracted to just one person than all. They will begin to focus their feelings on that one person.

6. If someone is torn between two people they may try to give their all but they will realize that they cannot continue to try and share their feelings of being in love with more than one person. They can try to prove themselves but they will find it hard because they will see that their focus can really be on one person.
Hansfordl

Pro

1. In often instances we date people and like them for many reasons. We all love differently. When a person finds love in one person it can for numerous reasons; say for instances because they have a comedic relationship that he/she may not get from the other partner. It is easy to find romantic love when they can both stimulate your mind, body, and soul.

3. Agreed but that goes to my point stated in Round 1, premise 4 & 5. You can be intimate and with many, but eventually you settle for the ones you confide in. Everyone brings different things to the table. Different things that ultimately is easy to fall for.
Think of those who believe in polygamy.

4-6. Valid points however. Those who are bi-sexual (those who seek interest in men & women) may find love with both genders

7. This, proving again that out definition is still valid; Romantically finding love from both genders.

8. Polygamy: marriage in which a spouse of either sex may have more than one mate at the same time

9. This is with the assumption that when you marry these multiples, you're in love with the partners involved

10. Therefore, proving its existence...it is very possible for people to not only love, but marry multiples. There are several cases where this exists.
Check out this story: http://m.huffpost.com...

Controversial
Premise 1
Restates and explains how intimacy can often lead to emotional ties with others

Premise 4,5 & 6
Are responses to my opponent & introduces a new topic open for discussion: sexuality

Premise 3, 8 & 9
Polygamy is introduced & defined. This validates how there are often cases where people can not control their feelings for the multiples they love & find people who are comfortable with having multiple lovers (link posted is an interesting story of how having a Polygamous relationship is successful)
Debate Round No. 2
raqueljb

Con

1. It may be easy to find romantic love but that does not mean one can romantically be in love with more than one person. A person may have a relationship with two people but they will gravitate with the one they feel most comfortable with.

3. I agree that one can be intimate with many but as said they will find themselves becoming closer to one partner than another and find themselves truly only being in love with one partner. They may still be involved with a second or third partner but that does not mean they are in love with them. They can simply be in love with one partner and continue to be intimate with other partners but not be in love with them.

4-6. Being bisexual does not necessarily mean one can fall in love with multiple people. People who are bisexual still find themselves in relationships similar to the relationships of heterosexuals. They may have more than one partner if they like but because they are attracted to both males and females does not mean that they can romantically love more than one partner at once.

8. The definition you shared explains that a person may have more than one partner but that does not mean they can be in love with more than one partner. A person may be involved with as many people as they want but at the end of the day, if they feel they're in love it will only be with one person. Someone must differentiate their feelings of being in love from lust. They can have lust for multiple people but being in love is completely different, it is only capable of being between two people.

9. It can be assumed that one is in love with the partners involved but that does not make it the case. Someone can say they are in love with multiple people, but this does not mean it is true. They can be lying and either be in love with no one or only one person.
Hansfordl

Pro

1. This goes back to my point later discussed about polyamorous relationships

3. Often instances that is true, however this does not justify the many cases where people fall in love while making love as well

4. Valid. But whether a bisexual male or woman is in a relationship or not, they are still capable of loving either male or female...and it's possible to be doing so at the same time. Say they were in a previous relationship with a the opposite sex and found a romantic love with them & find themselves in a romantic love with same sex as well.

5. Last premise can be with heterosexulals as well, in many circumstances where they are still romantically in love with a previous; even after being in love with a current person

8. What partner they choose however may not justify whether or not they are not in love with them.

9. They also can be telling the truth and confused with their true feelings. It is a feeling that is almost often unexplainable and it's easy for a person to get caught up and believe to have that same Romantic love for both parties
Debate Round No. 3
raqueljb

Con

1. People in polyamorous relationships are involved with other people and they may claim they are in love with all of their partners but at the end of the day they will spend the most time with the partner they are actually in love with. They will show all their deep affection for only one.

2. Romantic love or being in love is accompanied by sexual attraction, but it is not based on sexual attraction only. One can be attracted to a handful of people but they will not be in love with them all.

3. People may fall in love while making love but they'll only fall in love with one person and not multiple people because they cannot possess the same exact feelings for another.

4. It can be very easy to confuse certain feelings for other feelings. Regarding past relationships, one may have been in love with their old partner and moved on to a new partner, but they will not be able to fall in love with the new partner until they fall out of love with the old.

5. If someone thinks they are in love with more than one person, it will be hard for them to distinguish if the "love" is real or not.

6. A relationship begins to become messy and hard to handle when more than two people are involved. People will begin to realize how they truly feel and come to the conclusion that they cannot be in love with all of their partners. They will realize that they have different feelings for different partners, none being the same.
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7. Therefore, it is not possible to romantically love more than one person at once.

I have restated and edited my premises where necessary. That being said, I still stand by my argument that it is not possible to romantically love more than one person at once.
Hansfordl

Pro

1. If you refers back to the link, the story is about a woman who indeed shares a lot of time with not only her husband, but her sister wives. Her husband is romantically involved with other women and spends countless amounts of time with the ones he love.

2. Sexual Attraction is not valid, if we all waited to have marry before we involved sex into the picture, how would there be a sexual attraction?

3-6. Were all explained in the previous arguements.
Love is something that is felt and is often hide those feelings as well. When you love more than one person, you there is without a doubt a time where you wouldn't want to hurt the other ones feelings. You try to love all them equally, and accommodate them as much as possible.

I as well have restated my premises where necessary.
Thus, my argument that it is possible to romantically love more than one person at once.
Debate Round No. 4
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