The Instigator
Aviana
Pro (for)
Tied
0 Points
The Contender
janiris06
Con (against)
Tied
0 Points

Is it possible to romantically love more than one person at once?

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 2/12/2015 Category: Philosophy
Updated: 1 year ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 254 times Debate No: 69947
Debate Rounds (4)
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Votes (0)

 

Aviana

Pro

1.Love is having feelings of affection and care towards another person, usually family members and friends.
2. Romantic love is similar to familial love but includes more intense feelings of passion, intimacy, and commitment to an individual. This is the ethical definition of romantic love. Example: boyfriend or husband
3.There are some scenarios where it is possible to love more than one person at once. Developing feelings for people was never limited to one person.
4.When somebody"s significant other has left for any reason, at some point an individual will begin to develop some kind of attachment to another person that enters their life based on the way they make them feel.
5.Although, it might not be ethically and morally right for this to happen, it is in fact possible for the individual to think that they are romantically in love with someone other than their significant other because the void is now being filled.
6.There are other situations where women may be widowed and while they are still romantically in love with their deceased husband, they may find somebody that makes them feel the same way their husband did and therefore develop the same feelings for this new person, causing them to feel the same feelings of romantic love.
7.The people that are widowed have this emotional vulnerability caused by the death of their husband or wife. This then results to them seeking the feeling of that person in other people, while developing feelings of romantic love.
8.Although it may not be the ideal situation to have to find something that makes you happy in another person besides your significant other, it is possible that this can become the case.
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9.(Conclusion) Based on the premises and supporting evidence given, it is possible for someone to romantically love more than one person at once.

Non- Controversial Premises:
Premises 1 and 2 are non-controversial. Both Premises 1 and 2 are simple definitions of general familial love and romantic love.
Controversial Premises:
Premises 3, 4 ,5 ,6 ,7 ,8 and 9 are controversial premises.
3.Having feelings of romantic love was never specified to be limited feelings towards only one individual. There are several cases on a day to day basis that this occurs.
4.When there situations of a boyfriend going to the army, the girlfriend that is left behind has full potential to develop feelings of romantic love for another man other than her significant other.
5.While this may not be the best option, it is a natural human feeling to want to fill the void of the absence of your significant other while they are away.
6.Dealing with a spouse that is deceased is challenging and stressful to deals with in itself. So trying to find someone that is able to fill in the space of their deceased spouse is only natural and human. They are very much capable of finding romantic love in another individual.
7.It is sure, and expected of a person to want to find someone with the same value as that deceased person.
8.Finding romantic love in more than one person may not be the most common case in relationships, but it is definitely possible in some unique situations.
janiris06

Con

1.I agree with your definition of love.
2.I agree with your definition of Romantic love.
3.I do not agree with your opinion that there are scenarios where it"s possible to love more than one person because the given example was vague and it contradicts itself.
4.I disagree because we are arguing about being able to love romantically more than one person at the same time.
9. Based on your given premises it is still not a moral act to romantically love more than one person at the same time.
Non- Controversial Premises:
Premises 1 and 2 are not controversial because we have agreed upon the definitions given of love and romantic love together.
Controversial Premises:
3: There is no example of scenario given on being able to romantically love more than one person. Also there are limits to loving romantically more than one person because that is why many couples get married, to keep unity between each other and take a vowel.
4: You have contradicted yourself because we are arguing about being able to love romantically more than one person at the same time. In your fourth premises you stated that when your significant other leaves you, you"ll find someone else to fill the void. Once you"ve separated from someone you have put an end to that romantic relationship that once existed and begin a new one.
9: It is still not possible to romantically love more than one person at the same time because it is morally wrong. It is not the correct way for individuals to conduct themselves in having a disorganized way of living. If a person believes they love more than one person at the same time, that person it confused and not logically thinking clearly.
Premises 6, 7, and 8 are controversial because we did not mentioned about the possibility to keep loving a person after death and it is possible for that to occur because many widowed women or men have remained faithful to their loved ones after death. It is a case that have occurred to many couples of loving after death.
Debate Round No. 1
Aviana

Pro

3. Premise 3 states that romantic love was never set out to be for one person only. It has never been said that romantic love was supposed to be felt exclusively towards one person. Although this is not the most ethical approach to handling relationships, it is very much possible for this to happen in relationships that may not be stable. You"re explanation is talking about marriage but not stating that it is impossible for this to occur.
4. When I mentioned in premise 4 about being separated from your significant other, I meant in reference to situation such as being enrolled in the army, or having to be separated from each other for whatever reason. And just because you have ended a relationship with somebody does not mean that you cannot still be romantically in love with them. So are you saying that it is not possible to still have feelings of romantic love towards and ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend? There are many cases where this has occurred. Again, it is not the most ethically and morally right decision to still be in love with an ex while you are moving on with a new person, but these things continue to happen every single day.
6. In premise 6, 7, 8, of course it is possible to love somebody after their death. That is why all of this happens. And yes, it is possible for somebody to remain faithful to their deceased significant other, but it is also very unlikely that this happens. Although that might be the case, that does not prove my argument wrong that it is possible to romantically love more than one person at once.
9. So because we may have feelings of romantic love that we cannot control, we are irrational and unethical? These feelings and moments of confusion are normal and human. Of course, it is not ethically and morally right for these things to happen, but they do regardless of how either of us may feel.
janiris06

Con

3. I know my explanation about marriage indicates that once you place vowels with your partner you must love only that person. But what I forgot to add is that if the case happens were one of the married couples love another person while they"re married that person will need therapeutic help. An individual must be clear about his or her instincts and feelings before getting married. I believe that those individuals that believe that are in love with two people at the same time are indecisive and confused about what he or she feels. So therefore it is wrong to intentionally love more than one person because the moral way is towards one individual person only.
4. No it is not possible to still have feelings of romantic love towards an ex- boyfriend/ girlfriend because why continue into another relationship with another person while you still have feelings over an ex. Usually when individuals make the decision of continuing with someone else while they have romantic love feelings towards an ex, those feelings are not real and are simply confused mixed feelings of loneliness since a break-up occurred.
6. In premises 6, 7, and 8 the situation with widows remaining faithfully in love after the death of their partner does in fact prove your argument wrong because you stated that it is unlikely to happen of widows remaining faithful to their loved ones after death. So therefore this premise is neither right nor wrong, it is a case that can or cannot occur. But it does prove your argument wrong!
9. Feelings of romantic love between two people at the same time is irrational, I"ve never said unethical. Since you said those feelings and moments of confusion are normal and human, then why commit to the act of loving more than one person at the same time. That individual should take a break before committing to those actions of loving two at the same time and figure out his or her feelings well and dig deeper in what are his/her rational needs.
Debate Round No. 2
Aviana

Pro

3. As I explained in the previous round it is clear that it is not morally right and unethical the way things work out. Although, somebody may marry someone and be romantically in love with another person at the same time, that does not make them eligible for psychiatric help. You cannot say that it is not common that people may be confused about the people they may or may not have deep feelings for. Again, it may not me morally right or justifiable that a person may continue to do this because it is not fair to each person involved, but some people are just that confused about who they may want to be with. I do understand that if they cannot make a decision on who they wish the pursue life with, then they should remove one person from the equation, but that does not prove that it is completely impossible for that person to be romantically in love with both of those people because in most cases the correct and smartest decision is ignored.
4. So just because we"re not supposed to have feelings for an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend means that it does not ever happen? Saying that is like avoiding reality. These things do happen in life and it is natural for someone to not be over their ex just because they"ve ended their relationship. There are plenty of cases where the ex-girlfriend is still in love with her ex-boyfriend, it may not have been her choice that they broke up. I understand that it is in that person"s best interest to want to move on from their ex, but it"s just not reasonable to say that it is impossible for it to occur. If an individual decides to move on with another person after a break-up, they can still be romantically in love with the ex and develop those same feelings for the new person they are with. It is not absolutely impossible for a situation like that to take place.
6. Referring to premises 6, 7, and 8: The fact that I stated something is unlikely to happen, does not mean that I stated it is impossible. And if my premise was neither right nor wrong, it does not prove my entire argument wrong, solely based on one premise. Although I entirely disagree with your outlook on those premises, there are still several other strong premises to prove my argument right.
9. How can feelings of romantic love towards more than one person be irrational, if in the definition that we both agreed upon does not specifically state that it is only to be felt towards one person only? I understand what this person SHOULD do, but that doesn"t mean that everyone in life makes the best decisions based on what is "rational". Your argument for this premise is not valid because you are failing to realize that although it sounds as though these things may not be handled the way they should be, that it does not make it impossible for it to
janiris06

Con

3: Since you understand that, if that particular individual cannot make a decision on who they wish to pursue life with, that then they should remove one person from the equation it does prove that it is completely impossible for that person to be romantically in love with both at the same time. Because you just implicated that he/she SHOULD remove one person from the equation if a decision cannot be made. Therefore it is clear that that particular individual was romantically in love with one person only during the whole time, because if not he/she wouldn"t have let go neither people.
4: Yes it is natural for someone to still have some type of feeling for that particular person, but that type of feeling cannot be considered as romantic love because romantic love is affection with a current person and it"s a feeling that remains alive. After a break-up those feelings decrease, might be remembered but it is not alive between two people after there is closure. Therefore after that particular person continues their relationship with another person it is still categorized as different kind of feelings it is not the same romantic love, it has to be one between both.
6: Now I understand your definition of impossible because during those premises 6,7 and 8 it sounded like you referred to impossible instead of unlikely. But it did prove you premises 6, 7 and 8 wrong and most importantly it sounds like it is wrong. Even though you might have some premises that have some kind of sense it is still impossible to be able to romantically love more than one person at the same.
9: I know that we didn"t indicate in our definition that it is only to be felt towards one person and therefore it cannot be because then we would have agreed on the answer for our debate topic and it wouldn"t have made sense to have this debate. I also understand that not everyone makes the best rational decisions over loving people. But it is not the person that I indicate irrational, it is the possibility to romantically love more than one person that is irrational because it is impossible and the premises that you presented about that particular one to commit to those act are confused, fair-tale type of love feelings. That cannot be categorized as romantic love because the real love goes to only one of the groups of lovers that- that particular person has.
Debate Round No. 3
Aviana

Pro

3. Just because I said that they SHOULD eliminate one person that they have these feelings for, does not mean that that"s always the case. There are people in this world that would not see this as you and I would. There are people that will allow themselves to develop feelings of romantic love for two people at without seeing this as wrong and deceptive.
4. How are you to determine that the feelings of romantic love change or decrease after the relationship is over and has had its closure? It is not true that in every relationship situation, that this is the case. It is very much possible for a couple to break-up and it not be mutually agreed upon. It is also very possible that because it was not mutually agreed upon that one person is still left with romantic love towards that person. Just because two people break-up does not mean that the romantic love has completely disappeared.
6. In premises 6, 7, and 8 I made myself clear as it pertains to my definition of impossible; "impossible"- meaning never ever being possible to happen. I used "unlikely" and "impossible" in two totally different contexts. If you cannot provide a valid explanation as to why my premises 6, 7, and 8 are "wrong", then I cannot accept that argument. Nonetheless, it still does not prove your last statement to be true, and mine false: "It is impossible to romantically love more than one person at once."
9. It actually did seem as though you were referring to the person as being "irrational", because you mentioned that those particular people should seek help because they are confused. So therefore, it was definitely targeted towards the people that feel that way and not specifically the concept itself.

My opponent has accepted some of my premises, as have I. With that said, I have also denied some of my opponent"s ideas and responses as they do not prove her argument to be true. Some of her rebuttals I was able to accept, as they could have gone either way. Regardless of what my opponent"s responses to my premises were, it still does not logically prove my argument to be wrong. So my argument still remains strong in saying that it is possible to romantically love more than one person at once.
janiris06

Con

3: You might be right on that point of others not see this issue as you and I see it. But at the end of the day romantically loving more than one person at the same time is an unethical and unmoral act and it as well is impossible because we as human-beings are most of the time confused about what we want in our lives.
4: I never said I was to determine that the feelings of romantic love change or decrease after relationship is over and has had its closure because those are examples of situation that have occurred day to day. Romantic love does have levels on intensity and closures and I also never said that it is the case on every single relationship around the world, it is an example. It does matter that both mutually agree on this feelings of romantic love, because it happens between two people, as how de defined in on our definition of romantic love in premises 2.
6. You might have a point on your argument of prove the statements of being neither true nor false because we are going based on our experiences and opinion. But it still pertains to my understanding and comprehension that it is impossible to romantically love more than one person at the same time.
9: Well I comply with you understanding my point of view that the irrationality was towards the concept itself of being able to romantically love more than two people at once and not the individuals themselves that complies with this act of doing so. So therefore it still comes to the thought that it is still irrational and wrong to commit to this act of romantically loving more than one and that those emotions/ feelings are incomprehensible feelings when there are confusion between the thought of romantically loving more than one person.
To bring closure over the act of being able to romantically love more than one person at once, my partner had difficulties to comply with most of my premises. But this still does not give the authority of accepting the rightfulness of committing this outrageous act of loving more than one at once. It is not moral and unethical as how I mentioned earlier and it is an act that cannot occur because romantic love only occur between to people as how we defined it on premises 2.
Debate Round No. 4
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