The Instigator
Hayesn
Pro (for)
Tied
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The Contender
rbyrne95
Con (against)
Tied
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Is it possible to romantically love more than one person at once

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 2/13/2015 Category: People
Updated: 1 year ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 276 times Debate No: 70017
Debate Rounds (4)
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Hayesn

Pro

1. Both parties agree that love can defined as intense feelings of affection for another person.
2. For a person to be romantically in love with someone, there must be both an emotional and physical connections within the relationship.
3. Love also produces a strong attachment and bond to another person.
4. Love creates feelings of need; which are similar to feelings people experience while being addicted or attached to something.
5. Feelings of addiction or attachment are produced strictly from chemicals that the body releases under certain circumstances.
6. Particularly after sexual intercourse, chemicals oxytocin and vasopressin are released. These chemicals are known to be key elements for the brain to create attachments.
7. In regards to this premise, the more times a couple has sexual intercourse, the more these chemicals are released which would make this bond even stronger.
8. Furthermore, if a person is in a monogamous relationship but cheats on their partner and has sex with someone outside of their relationship, the chemicals released would create a bond between these people.
9. This attachment made during sex is essentially love.
10. In addition, when a person cheats on their partner in a monogamous relationship, this does not mean that they love their original partner any less.
11. Therefore, due to the fact that love is based on chemicals that they body releases in a numerous amount of circumstances, a person is capable of romantically loving more than one person.

Non-Controversial Premises: Premises 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, and 7 are not controversial. Premises 1 and 2 define what romantic love is. Premises 3 and 4 emphasizes that love is a bond which is similar to an addiction. Premise 6 and 7 state the fact that sex releases chemicals that create the bond that people in love have.

Controversial Premises:
5: If addiction and attachment are similar, then the chemicals that are released during an addiction are the same as those released when a person is attached to another person.
8: The chemicals that bonded the partners in a monogamous relationship are the same chemicals released when a person cheats. Therefore, the same bond is formed.
9: Love is a bond or attachment. If the chemicals released during sex create a bond, then a romantic love connection has been made.
10: When people cheat on their partners, they often are still in love with them but create a new romantic connection for other reasons. Creating this new love connection does not lessen their first love connection.
rbyrne95

Con

1.Love is a complex emotion, that people, can develop over time and slowly drift apart, or fall into or out of almost immediately.

2.Love being as complex as it is, it is hard for a lot of people to tell whether they are truly in love or not.

3.People generally have affairs because they have fallen out of love with their partners, people generally cheat by "accident", in both cases the person cheating only loves one person.

4.Just because a person does not love his or her partner while having an affair, does not mean that that person having the affair cannot go back to loving their original partner, that person just needs to stop loving his or her affair partner.

5.sex alone cannot be considered love. Even though various chemicals are released in the brain during intercourse with anyone. There would still be a far greater emotional connection between lovers that is just as, if not more important.

6.For certain religious people, sex before marriage is not alright, but many of those people still love there partners just as much as couples who do regularly have sex.

7.Therefore, because when people cheat, it is due to the lack of love for one of their partners, and because love is more than just sex, it is likely not possible to romantically love more than one person.

Non Controversial: 1 and 2 are just about what love is, and state that it is a complex emotion. 3 states that the people in the situations I described both only loved one person, because the married person no longer loved his or her spouse, and the person who cheated did not do so romantically with the person he or she cheated with.

Controversial: For number 4, it makes sense in context with number 3, but can be argued in different ways. For number 5 I stated that the emotional side of love is just as, if not more important, some may believe that the physical side has a lot more to do with love. for Number 6 I said that people who do not have sex before marriage love there partners just as much as those who do, if the physical side of love is more important than I stated it was, than this can be argued.
Debate Round No. 1
Hayesn

Pro

1: I agree that love is a complex emotion but, while a person can fall in love quickly, it is scientifically proven that people do not fall out of love as quickly. It takes much longer for the brain to break away from that attachment.
2: I agree that it can be difficult to tell whether or not a person it truly in love. This however, does not mean that it is impossible to love more than one person.
3: People do not always have affairs because they have fallen out of love with their original partner. When people have affairs, they often kept a secret from their original partners out of fear of losing them because if their infidelity. This would suggest that the cheater desires to have both people his or her life. The cheater is capable of feeling strong emotions for both of their partners.
4: Going off of what I just stated, a person does not have to fall out of love to have an affair. A person could just simply begin to feel the emotions they feel for their original partner for someone else.
5: This is true that sex is not the only factor that in love. Sex is only one of many circumstances that can release the right chemicals create the feelings of love. My point was that during any type of bonding experience whether sex or something as simple as discussing your past, any release of chemicals that are known to make attachments will create feelings of love.
6: Furthermore, religious couples may not engage in sex but do participate is some type of bonding experiences that help their attachment to each other form.
7: As I have already stated, cheating does not necessarily result from lack of love. I agree that love is not the only factor involved in love but it is one of many. Saying that it is not would be denying the scientific evidence of how this can create an attachment between two people.
rbyrne95

Con

1.I agree Falling out of love may not happen as quickly as I stated it does, but Love is an emotion which science cannot always fully explore or comprehend.

2.I also agree that the complexity of love does not necessarily mean it is impossible to love more than one person, but if many people have so much trouble telling that they are in love with one person, trying to determine whether they love another at the same time would have to be at least nearly impossible.

3.I agree that there are many different reasons people cheat, but the fear of infidelity could simply mean that the person who is cheating knows what they are doing is wrong based on the morals of his or her community, not necessarily that person"s own, and there are many reasons a person might try to keep their affair a secret, that person just might want to avoid getting screwed over in divorce court, or that person just might not want people to know what he or she is doing.

4.If a person is feeling what they felt for their original partner for someone else, then that person"s feelings for their original partner have become unclear, and may be gone all together. That person is taking his or her feelings from his or her original partner and placing them on to someone else, rather than leeching his feelings off of his or her original partner.

5.Yes many acts can create the chemicals necessary to make love, but unless two people are together for a long period of time, those feelings that the person could get would never be able to fully develop, a person who cheated on his or her wife by "accident", would get those feelings for a short time, and then they would fade away, being overshadowed by that person"s true feelings of love for their original partner. If a person cheats for an extended period of time, they take the love they had for the original partner and move it onto their new one.

6.I agree with your statement.
Debate Round No. 2
Hayesn

Pro

1: Love is basically an intense attraction to another person and science does explain attraction and attachment. Science is capable of explaining love.

2: I agree that people it would be extremely difficult to determine whether someone is in love with multiple people but this does not make it impossible that you can have multiple romantic partners. This just means it is hard to prove.

3: I agree with premise 3.

4: I cannot agree with claims for premise 4 because love cannot be considered as a single package where only one person can receive it. If a person begins to fall in love with another person outside of their relationship, this does not mean that all of the love inside the person must transfer over to their new partner.

5: Regarding premise 5, the duration that someone has been in love with their partner does not make their love stronger. There are situations where people have been in a relationship with someone for a brief time but feel like they have been together for a long time and experience a deeper level of love than is expected regarding the time that they have spent with their partner.

7: Similarly to what I have stated for premise 4, for premise 7, when you begin to fall in love with a new partner, all of your love does not just transfer to someone new. You are capable of developing more love inside of you for someone else.
rbyrne95

Con

1.I agree that science can explain love, but emotions tend to be very random, and I would think it would be very hard for science to predict how much love a person may be in.

2.I agree, but I think that this particular case would not just be hard to prove, it would nearly be impossible.

3.alright

4.A person might not have to transfer all of their love to a new partner, but they do have to transfer the part of it that makes it romantic love, there still may be feelings of love leftover, but they are just residual. Any amount of romantic love that a person has, has already come over to the new partner.

5.While someone might feel like they have been with another person for a longtime, the truth is they have not. There is no way those people could connect on the same level as two people who have known each other for a longer amount of time. This sudden feeling of love may just be their mind tricking them into thinking something that is not true.

6.I agree but when you give those feelings to someone else, the romantic part of love definitely transfers over. While there still might be a small sense of attraction to an old partner, this can not be considered romantic love.
Debate Round No. 3
Hayesn

Pro

1. Both parties agree that love can defined as intense feelings of affection for another person.
2. For a person to be romantically in love with someone, there must be both an emotional and physical connections within the relationship.
3. Love also produces a strong attachment and bond to another person.
4. Love creates feelings of need; which are similar to feelings people experience while being addicted or attached to something.
5. Feelings of addiction or attachment are produced strictly from chemicals that the body releases under certain circumstances.
6. During many types of bonding experiences, such as talking about your past, spending time together, sex, etc., chemicals are released that cause the brain to make an attachment.
7. In regards to this premise, the more times people participate in these bonding experiences together, the more these chemicals will be released, which would make the attachment between these people stronger.
8. Furthermore, if a person is in a monogamous relationship but cheats on their partner and has bonding experiences with someone outside of their relationship, the chemicals released would create a bond between these people as well.
9. This attachment made through bonding is essentially love.
10. In addition, when a person cheats on their partner in a monogamous relationship, this does not necessarily mean that they love their original partner any less.
11. Therefore, due to the fact that love is based on chemicals that they body releases in a numerous amount of circumstances, a person is capable of romantically loving more than one person.

Now that we have discussed it, I can now agree that sex is not proof of love. For this reason, I have changed the wording in a few of the premises so that they now fit my new opinion on the topic. I still believe that in situations where a partner cheats, their feelings for their original partner have not been altered and they have simply just developed more feelings for someone new. Many bonding experiences do create feelings of love and, if you have these experiences with more than one person, it would only be natural to be romantically in love with multiple people.
rbyrne95

Con

1.Love is a complex emotion that is difficult to understand. While Science is able to explain what love is, it cannot accurately predict how love is going to form, or how in love a particular person is.

2.The complexity of love makes it tough for people to know whether what they are feeling is truly romantic love or not. A person may be able to love more than one person, but he or she cannot love them both romantically.

3.There are many reasons that people have affairs, besides falling out of love and "accidents". There are also many reasons a person might stay with their original partner outside of love. For example fear that they might be looked down upon if someone else finds out.

4.a person can love their original partner and affair partner at the same time, but that person can only romantically love one of his or her partners.

5.While sex is a big part of love, the emotional connection is just as strong. The amount of time people spend together can greatly increase the amount of love that they feel towards each other.

6.Many religious couples abstain from sex, but most of them love each other as much as couples that do regularly have sex.

7.Therefore, due to the questionability and complexity of love, and the time a person would have to be with one of their partners to truly romantically love them. It does not seem possible to romantically love more than on person.

I see now that a person can love more than one other person, but that person can only romantically love one of the people he is with. I also agree that science can probably explain more about love than I had originally thought. Though I still believe that in order for a person to truly love another, that person has got to spend a long amount of time with their partner, and love at first sight is just a person"s mind deceiving them. I still feel that Romantic love can only be shared between two people.
Debate Round No. 4
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