The Instigator
eyonairy
Pro (for)
Tied
0 Points
The Contender
lsavoie
Con (against)
Tied
0 Points

Is it possible to romantically love more than one person at the same time?

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 2/14/2015 Category: Philosophy
Updated: 1 year ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 280 times Debate No: 70080
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (2)
Votes (0)

 

eyonairy

Pro

1. Love is an unexplainable sense of unity that joins people together.
2. Trust is between a set of people who can confide in each other. They do not let any assumption destroy the connection they have built.
3. Bi-sexual people often truly love more than one person at the same time.
4. The human capacity to love does not have to be rationed to a specific individual.
5. A sexual and intimate relationship can occur with multiple people. This can occur at the same time throughout your life.
6. In a long distance relationship, there could be a common agreement in keeping the relationship open to other people.
7. In a Polygamist relationship, a man has multiple wives and loves them all romantically equally.
8. After a divorce of many years occurs and (for example, there is a child involved) the father will always love the mother of his child at the same time romantically fall in love with another woman.
9. Romantic ideologist have confirmed they are able to romantically love others at the same time.
10. Nymphomaniacs romantically love all of their sexual partners equally because they give each other a sense of sexual intensity that always have them wanting each other.
11. Therefore, it is possible to romantically love two people at the same time.

Non-controversial Premises:
Premise 1 is not controversial because it is the general definition of love. Premise 2 is not controversial because that is the basis on which trust is mutually built on between people. Premise 7 is not controversial because it is a written a form of culture and in some religions strictly enforced to believe in this system of love. They believe in this form of love because it proves this is the way true love can last.

Controversial Premises:

3. Bi-sexual couples truly believe they can genuinely love a man and a woman at the same time. The way they feel when they are with the other partner is the same amount of love but since it is with different genders it counts as if they are being in love with A and B and not A sometimes and B sometimes.
4. This is an example of a person can still have the feelings of love for their ex-girlfriend/boyfriend and give the same type of love to their new partner. It is not any more just because of the time they shared with their ex-partner or any less just because of the time they have been away from their ex-partner. It is just as simple as never really being able to get over your first love.
5. For example, a man can have a very romantic sexual relation with his mistress but will alway sincerely love his wife. It does not mean he has lost love of his wife but he is able to share the love. This is going back to premise 4 for an additional example.
6. If this agreement is made with both partners being fully aware of the possibility of falling in love with other people then it is an example of people continuing to love each other and willing to love others as well.
8. The mother and the father will always share a special bond with each other of having created a human life and bringing this life into the world. It is a connection that would never be separated no matter the time period between the divorce.
9. These people usually idealize Aphrodite, goddess of love. Legend has it that she implemented her love to any person she wish to grant that gift upon. These people believe once they are willing to spread their love it gives them a permanent connection with these people despite the quantity.
10. Nymphomaniacs love to romantically have sex with multiple people. They do not settle down with just one person because they feel as if it is their duty to have intimate relationship in vast majority.
lsavoie

Con

1.I agree.
2.I agree.
3.I do not agree. Bi-sexual entails an attraction to both males and females. It has nothing to do with being able to love both at the same time.
4.I agree that the human capacity for love does not have to be rationed to one individual, but there are many types of love.
5.I agree, but do not believe sexual or intimate relationships necessarily involve love. In many cases, they don"t.
6.I agree if this is what both parties consent on.
7.I disagree. A person will never love separate individuals equally.
8.I disagree. A man can fall out of romantic love with the mother of his child but still have love for her. These are two different types of love.
9.I do not agree or disagree considering I have never heard this before and would like to know where you got your research on this.
10. I disagree. A nymphomaniac is a person with an abnormal sexual drive. Sex does not equal love, nor does lust or desire equate to love.
11.I disagree. It is not possible to love two people at the same time.

Non-Controversial Premises:
1.Although I believe your definition could be expanded on, I agree with it.
2.I also believe your definition of trust could be expanded on, but again, I agree with it.
4.Although I agree with you stating that the human capacity for love does not have to be rationed to one person, I feel as if you are grouping all different types of love into one category. Being in love with a partner is much different than platonic love. The love you have for a partner is not the same as the love you have for say, a good friend or a family member.
5.I agree with the first part of your statement that says, " A sexual and intimate relationship can occur with multiple people."
6.I also agree with this premise if this is what both parties consent to. I do not believe it supports your argument because having an open relationship does not necessarily imply being romantically in love with another person at the same time.

Controversial Premises:
3.To be bisexual means to be attracted to both males and females. Just because you are attracted to both sexes does not mean that you can romantically love a man and woman at the same time. Although they are two different genders, you are not romantically in love with a person"s gender. The fact that they differ in gender does not constitute you being able to be romantically in love with both parties at the same time.
5.I agree with this premise, but I have to state that I do not believe it supports your notion that you can be romantically in love with two people at once. Having sexual, intimate relationships does not insinuate being romantically in love.
7.Although a man who is in a polygamist relationship has multiple wives, this does not mean that he loves them all romantically. There are many different feelings that he can have towards each wife, and different needs that each wife is separately meeting for him. I am having a hard time with you using the term "loves them all romantically equally". Considering each person is an individual and is never exactly like someone else, it impossible to love anyone "equally".
8.Although I believe that a man will always have love for the mother of his child, I do not believe this love is considered "romantic love". It is absolutely possible for a man to fall out of romantic love for the mother of his child, hence the divorce and the new romantic love he has found. In this premise, you are assuming that the man has found a new romantic love. If this were the case, the man would"ve had to have fallen out of romantic love with his wife; again, hence the divorce. To be redundant, I am not saying that he no longer has feelings for his ex-wife/mother of his child, but this love is no longer romantic love.
9.I cannot agree or disagree with this premise because I am not sure where you got your research from, and I have never come across it before. Please clarify.
10.I agree with the part of this premise that states, ""they give each other a sense of sexual intensity that always has them wanting each other." A nymphomaniac is a person with an abnormal sense of desire, which I stated earlier. That being said, sex/desire/lust are irrelevant to the feelings you experience while being romantically in love. Although these feelings are extremely prominent and strong, and may make you feel like you "love" the person you are having sex with in the moment, it does not constitute as true romantic love. Desire and lust bring on intense feelings of euphoria, especially to someone who craves these feelings immensely (i.e. nymphomaniacs), but these feelings do not equate to being truly romantically in love with a person. You can lust after a person until you feel weak, but lust will never equal love.
11.After stating all of the above, I do not believe that it is possible to be romantically in love with two people at the same time.
Debate Round No. 1
eyonairy

Pro

1. Love is an infinite amount of expressions or feelings including the good and bad. Such as, happiness, gratitude, respect, appreciation, sadness, feeling of being wanted, and ect. (This was just to expand on the definition of love.)
2. Trust is the ability to have hope in a person to always be loyal to you in a situation where they might be tested to be dishonest. (This was just to expand on my definition of trust.)
3. The fact that they are two in a romantic relationship with two different gender is a completely valid argument as to how they can be in love with two people at the same time. They literally are in love with Mary and Carlos at the same time. Bi-sexual people rarely do get married because they are incapable of choosing between the two partners. The saying goes that "when you close your eyes and the person that pops up first is the one you want to be with only" is not relevant towards them.
5. In order for someone to be romantically in love with their partner they must first have a reason to love them, and sex is one of them. Sex plays a huge role between couples and without a good sex drive between each other there is no romance to follows. Yes, sex is not everything but it is a factor that weighs heavily if you as a person can continue a romantic relationship with that person. This justify this premise with a man having a wife and a mistress.
6. Open relationship especially within a long distance relationship gives the consent to romantically love someone in their absence since they know they are not able to give any type of contact in different or several occasions. In the time being they meet someone new and now have found another person to love. (This was just to clarify what I meant with open relationships).
7. A man who practices polygamist is a person who is very religious. Polygamist view their marriage as a duty sent from God and the Golden Rule God has given to these Christians is to treat others how you would want to be treated. Therefore, I based my argument on the religious views they share and the importance it is to god and would not be dishonest of their oath to God
8. Couples who are separated but have children and have to keep on contact of their children usually still have a romantic relationship going on. For example, Maria could have wanted a divorce from John because of financial difficulties but this does not mean they no longer have romantic feelings towards each other they simply moved on to other relationships because they knew they could not handle each other's financial responsibilities. John could probably be cheating on his wife Nancy with Maria because he still has those feelings for her but stays with Nancy because he has acquired new feelings with her. It gets messy but nonetheless John is romantically in love with both of them.
9. https://www.psychologytoday.com... The was the cited page I used of a woman giving herself as an example of a romantic ideologist. As regards to Aphrodite it is in Greek mythology how she granted love amongst people and did not limit this gift to only a couple of two.
10. To a monogamous regular person these qualities (the one you just listed in round 1) do not seem valid enough to justify a romantic relationship but to nymphomaniacs it is. To this group of people this is how they love. Not to be categorized as sexual deviances or incapable of truly loving. They instead love differently and would confirm their method is indeed a form of displaying romantic love to all of their partners.
lsavoie

Con

1.I agree with your expanded explanation of love, but I feel as if this definition suits more of a platonic love rather than a romantic love.
2.I agree with your expanded definition of trust.
3.Again, with this premise, I do not find the argument of being able to romantically love two people at the same time plausible because they are two different genders. You are not able to be romantically in love with two people at the same time based on the fact that they do not share the same anatomy. I do not find this to be a strong argument. You may have feelings for two people of different genders, but your feelings are going to be stronger for one of the two based on the person they are, not the gender they identify with. This is the person that you would be romantically in love with.
5.I do not agree that in order for a person to be romantically in love with another person one of their reasons must be sex. I agree that when you are in romantic love with someone sex is an important part. It brings two people closer together and bonds them to another, especially when they are in romantic love. However, you could have very passionate, lustful sex with a person that you are not romantically in love with. For example, two people can be best friends and after awhile come to the realization that it is not a platonic love that they share but rather a romantic love. They can come to this realization without ever being intimate with one another up until this point. For another example, couples that partake in long distance relationships can go months, sometimes longer, without having sex or being intimate with one another. Just because they are not able to have consistent sexual relations with their partner does not mean that they are not still romantically in love with them. I do not believe that this justifies the premise of a man having a mistress. I agree that a man may have a mistress to take care of his sexual desires that are not being met at home, but this does not mean that he is romantically in love with his mistress. Thus, he is not romantically in love with two people at the same time.
6.Open relationships do not always constitute one person allowing the other to romantically love someone else in their absence. A lot of open relationships are based solely on allowing one another to pursue other sexual partners. Nowhere does that mean they are romantically in love with these other partners. If one of the partners happens to find someone else they fall romantically in love with, then they have already fallen out of romantic love with their first partner. This is not to say that they still don"t have strong feelings for their first partner, but it is no longer what can be considered as romantic love. To be blunt, if two people are in an open relationship, it can be assumed that they were never in romantic love to begin with because then they would have been dedicated to one another and never let another person into their relationship.
7.I agree that some men follow polygamy as their religion. You are describing the man who is in a polygamist relationship as fulfilling what he feels are his religious duties by having multiple wives. While this may be the case, this does not prove that he is romantically in love with all of his wives. This premise just proves that he feels he is serving the duties that his God expects him to. From this premise, you are saying the sole reason he has multiple wives is to prevent him from being dishonest to his God. Again, while that might be the case, that has nothing to do with him actually being in romantic love with all of his wives.
8.Just because two parents who are divorced keep in contact with one another for their children, does not mean they are still in romantic love. There are many divorced parents who co-parent beautifully who are no longer in romantic love. If two people decided to divorce because one of them could not handle financial hardships, they can still be in romantic love. They may have moved on to new relationships, but this does not guarantee that they are romantically in love with their new partner, especially if you are stating they are still romantically in love with one another. I will also go along with your example of John cheating on his wife Nancy with Maria. You are saying that John is still romantically in love with his wife, but has acquired new feelings for Maria. This could absolutely be the case; however, this does not mean that the feelings he has generated for Maria constitute the idea of romantic love.
9.After reviewing the article you posted as to how you came to this premise, it seems as if it has a lot to do with sexual desires and intimacy. Once again, a sexual desire for someone does not constitute a romantic love, no matter how strong the lust may be. You also bring up Aphrodite in Greek mythology, but I do not believe that this is a strong argument because Greek mythology can trigger a whole new debate in itself.
10.Again, I do not agree with this. Sex is never the sole factor in determining if you are romantically in love with another person. Although sex may have a different, stronger impact on a nymphomaniac then on the average person, this does not mean that it allows a nymphomaniac to proclaim that they are romantically in love with another person because of how much they crave the other persons body. Craving somebody"s appearance or physical attributes does not take you far when arguing why you are romantically in love with them. A nymphomaniac may desire each of his or her partners for different physical reasons, but this does not mean that they are romantically in love with more than one of them at the same time.
Debate Round No. 2
eyonairy

Pro

3. I am not saying because they are different genders a person falls I'm love with them what I'm trying to do is use the fact that they are two human beings as an example for romantically loving two people at the same time. Obviously their personality is what attracts them to each other but at the same time they are getting a piece of both the cake and eating it too. That is what I am trunk to imply that not that you are with a man and a woman at the same time but instead that it is possible to love two people at the same time as bisexuals do so.
5. The argument you are trying to use to reject this premise is the concept of lust. That lust could be the reason someone is intimate with another and not because they love each other or that a man cheats on his wife with his mistress because she is just a temporary fix a person sought out after because of lust. Yet, it could be real love as well. Romantic sex is the best kind of love out there because as we just have agreed it is important. As for your example of the two friends and now lover it all started with a intimate moment they shared. Intimacy can consist of an emotional state they are in that then leads to a romantic relationship.
6. If these people were not to be in an open relationship then they would have never loved the people they loved and shared the experienced they had with these people. They choose to be in open relationships because they truly believe it is possible to love two people eat the same time and have been successful in doing so. With each romantic partner they have they share a special connection with each but still love their partners. For example, Annie is romantically in love with both Alex and Bryan. Bryan because they love doing sports together and Alex because they love discovering music together but Annie loves them both because they can both offer her security and respect. She has no need to pick between the two because they both can give her what she loves. This can also relate to premise 3.
7. A polygamist man is in love with all his wives because since he believes god told him to love them all then he will. Although women can not choose who they marry men do have that option. Men will pick a young woman with some background knowledge about her personality and basis his decision to marry her or not on that. He would not choose just anyone just to only get married he does so in hopes he can share his beliefs and interest with these women as well.
8. Ofcourse there are many divorce couples who co-parent that no longer have a romantic relationship with each other but that can only count for some. Once strong feeling such as those have been implemented that including concurring milestone situations that follows these couples it is impossible to say those feeling are not there anymore. Going back to how you interpreted my example for this premise used in round 2 in now way did John suddenly "generate" these feelings for Maria they have always been there for the fact that they been through a marriage and a birthing passage. No matter how nice his new wife, Nancy, is it is not strong enough to break the romantic connection he has with Maria.
9. This article can also be used to justify falling in love with two people at the same time which is what you are dismissing with your argument. She does not want to choose or feels the need to choose between the two because she has found a balance between them and it worked out for her as it has for other relationships. This is no longer the times where you had to be confide to one person just because it is what we are suppose to do what if the new barrier is to have no barrier and love freely. As to Athena I have not brought up any other "Greek God" into this argument I have only referenced her to Greek mythology as a source to back up my statement.
10. Nymphomaniacs show how they are romantically in love with you because of there intimate sexual relationships. They do not use a person as a means to relieve sexual tension either just to clear up the air for future references. Nymphomaniacs use sex to spread the affectionate love they are able to give to others. They can offer romantic sexual love which is what people in monogamous relationships try very hard to find in their one partner instead of realizing they can find it in multiple partners at the same time.
lsavoie

Con

3. In round two you said, and I quote, "The fact that they are in a relationship with two different genders is a completely valid argument as to how they can be in love with two people at the same time." This sentence clearly states that this premise is arguing that a person can be romantically in love with two people at the same time because they are two different genders. Now you are backtracking and saying that is not what you meant by this premise.
5. I agree that a person can be romantically in love with another person and that is why they are being intimate. I do not agree that this goes for all of the people that they have been intimate with. I am confused as to what you are trying to say in this premise. You rebutted my last example of the two friends turned lovers and you are saying that it all started with an intimate moment. As I stated in the last round, these two friends did not share an intimate moment before realizing that they were romantically in love. Therefore, sex never played a role as to why the two fell into a romantic love to begin with. I am not understanding how this is helping your argument because nowhere in the last premise did you prove that it was able to be romantically in love with two people at the same time. I feel as if this premise has strayed away from your first intention of it in the first round, and I am unsure of what you are trying to say in it now.
6. I agree that you can have feelings for two different people because they satisfy different needs in you and you have a connection for different reasons with both of them. I do not agree that you are romantically in love with both at the same time. You are going to have a stronger connection with one of them and feel stronger about that one. Being romantically in love with someone is one of the strongest feelings you could ever experience. When you are romantically in love with someone, they are constantly on your mind and in your thoughts. It is impossible to devote as much attention as you do when you are romantically in love with someone to two different people at the same time.
7. I agree that a polygamist man chooses his wives because he has some type of connection with each of them, I am not denying this. Just because he believes that God told him to love all of them, does not mean that he is truly romantically in love with them all. I believe he is most likely romantically in love with one of his wives, but not all of them at the same time. He can have some type of love for all of his wives, especially based on shared interests and beliefs, but again this does not constitute being romantically in love with them
8. I did not say that a man and women who have gotten divorced no longer share any feelings for one another. I said that this is no longer considered romantic love. I also stated that they could very well still be romantically in love with one another after their divorce, but then that does not mean that are also romantically in love with their new partner (if they have one). I am now confused by your example that you originally used in this premise. "John could probably be cheating on his wife Nancy with Maria because he still has those feelings for her but stays with Nancy because he has acquired new feelings with her," this is the original example you used. Now looking at it again, it does not make sense. How would John stay with Nancy because he acquired new feelings for her when they are already married and those feelings are already there? Your example is not clear.
9. As I have said already, I agree that you can have feelings for two people at the same time because you connect with them in different ways. I do not agree that people who have multiple partners are romantically in love with both of them. Although this person does not feel the need to choose between the two because they have found a balance between them, this does not mean that are romantically in love with both of them. In fact, they may not even be romantically in love with either of them. They could simply be staying with both and not choosing one over the other because their needs are being met, and there is no true romantic love with either of the partners so being with both is the best of both worlds. Again though, just because they are getting something that they need from both of them and this is satisfying them, it does not mean that they are romantically in love with both of them, or even one of them.
10.The definition of a nymphomaniac does not state how these people love. A nymphomaniac is a person with an abnormal sexual desire. They are people who crave sex. They do not crave sex because of romantic love; they crave it for the way it makes them feel in the moment. This is why they can never get enough of sex, because when they are not in the heat of passion with another person, those feelings are no longer there and the only way they know how to feel them is through sex. That is why they continue to seek it out more consistently than the average person. You cannot say that a nymphomaniac is romantically in love with two people at the same time because of the strong feelings they experience during their sexual encounters. Romantic love is a feeling you have all of the time, not some of the time (like only when you are engaging in sexual acts with another).
Debate Round No. 3
eyonairy

Pro

1. Love is a word that is able to combine all the feelings such as happiness and passion that comes with being in a relationship. This definition is not excluded to only people in a monogamous relationship.
2. Trust is given to a person you value to be true to you. You give this person this gift in hopes that they would be responsible in making sure your feeling do not get hurt throughout you're relationship with lies and dishonesty.
3. Bi-sexuals are in relationships with multiple people of different genders and have proven it is a possibility be in love with them.
4. A human being does not have to be confined to one person and only experience one type of love. They are able to love without boundaries.
5. Sex alone is not important in having a romantic relationship with someone but once intimacy is included is one of the most important factors in making sure a relationship stays united for am extensive amount of time.
6. Long distance relationships are the reason why open relationships exists it evokes from it. People in long distance relationship are able to accept they will not be the only person around and are willing in being in an open relationship. This helps both parties be more comfortable in loving others at the same time in loving their first love because in this kind of relationship no one is obligated to choose lovers or beliefs.
7. Polygamy is a religion that truly believes a man can love multiple women equally in the form of marriage. They are able to respectfully divide equal love throughout their marriage that effectively last until "death do us part".
8. A love between couples that have concluded many years of obstacles and years of joy remains intact no matter the circumstance. A divorce for example separates them legally but emotionally they stay together even when a new relationship begins. That is how someone can be in love with two people at once it is not always literally.
9. Greek gods such as Aphrodite for example, have the power to shower other "mortals" with the gift of love and the ability to share with anyone willing to accept love.
10. Nymphomaniacs are not sexual deviance for have intercourse with sexual partners because they believe the sex they are having with others in paired up with love. These people are also one of the many who believe in spreading their love with intimacy.
11. Thus, with the example provided and my opponent agreeing to three out of ten of my premises given it is possible to romantically love two people at once. My opponent has not been able to prove my example are false for even in the rest that my opponent has not agreed on completely it was admitted some of them were at least 50% accurate. It is possible to romantically love two people at once because love is not a matter that can be confined to another matter. It is a feeling free of any ties to and is able to be interpreted into different meanings by different people.
lsavoie

Con

1.You are not able to be romantically in love with two people at once. The feeling of true romantic love is one of the strongest feelings you can ever experience. When you are romantically in love with another person, you give this person everything you have and more. Because of this, it is not possible to experience this type of love with more than one person at a time.
2.Trust is definitely an important part of being romantically in love with someone. Trust is an important factor in any type of relationship you have in life, with a partner or a family member or a friend. Just because you trust someone, does not mean you are romantically in love with him or her.
3.Bi-sexuals are able to be romantically in love with two different genders, but not at the same time. The fact that they are able to love a man or a woman does not prove that they can be in love with both at the same time. Typically, bisexuals do not date both a male and a female at the same time just because they are attracted to both sexes. Their being bisexual just means that they can be in a relationship with a woman and then after that relationship is over, they can go on and be in a relationship with a man.
4.Humans have a large capacity for love. We can all love many different people for many different reasons throughout our whole lives. However, these types of love are not what you would consider romantic love.
5.Sex is an important part in most relationships, but it is not the end all be all. I do not agree that this premise has anything to do with proving that a person can be romantically in love with two people at once.
6.Long distance relationships are not the reason for open relationships. People can choose to be in open relationships when they live close to their partner and are able to see them whenever they want. Just because a person chooses to be in an open relationship because they are in a long distance relationship with another person does not mean that they are romantically in love with both of these people at the same time.
7.Polygamy is a form of a religion in which a man has multiple wives because this is what his religion preaches and expects of him. It has nothing to do with him truly being romantically in love with all of his wives at the same time.
8.I believe that after a couple have been married for many years that will always have some sort of feelings for their partner even after they have divorced and moved on. These feelings stem from being with a person for so long and going through so much together, so of course they will always care for this person in a special way. I do not agree that these feelings are anywhere near being considered being in romantic love.
9.The premise about Aphrodite and Greek Gods depends on what a person chooses to believe in religiously and spiritually. This is not something that you can argue to prove that a person can be romantically in love with two people at the same time. Romantic love depends upon the person who is feeling it, not what Greek mythology claims can be felt.
10.Nymphomaniacs have an abnormal desire for sexual interactions. This is something that they strongly crave. Although they derive pleasure from having multiple sexual interactions with numerous people, this does not mean that they are romantically in love with all of their partners at the same time.
11.All of these premises are based on feelings and connections that a person can share with different people at different times in their lives. While my opponents arguments show that it is possible to share connections and feelings for multiple people at once, none of these premises truly prove that it is possible to be romantically in love with two people at the same time.
Debate Round No. 4
2 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 2 records.
Posted by TBR 1 year ago
TBR
Inquiring minds want to know. Are you all just spamming the he** out of the site for kicks? It was strange at first, now its just annoying.
Posted by Varrack 1 year ago
Varrack
Are you guys doing this for a school project or what? Maybe you're just bots..
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