The Instigator
jennaoconnor
Pro (for)
Tied
0 Points
The Contender
Salemod
Con (against)
Tied
0 Points

Is it possible to romantically love more than one person?

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 2/13/2015 Category: People
Updated: 1 year ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 246 times Debate No: 69992
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (3)
Votes (0)

 

jennaoconnor

Pro

Round 1
1.Both parties agree that romantic love is a feeling of intimacy and deep caring towards another individual that is not purely platonic or purely lustful.
2.Monogamy is when a person is in a romantic relationship with only one person.
3.Polygamy is when a person is in an open romantic relationship with two or more people and they are both aware and accepting of these other relationships.
4.It is possible to romantically love two people at the same time.
5.In the event that your spouse passes away, assuming that you are still have the feelings of romantic love for them, you will continue to have these feelings for them even after they are gone.
6.In the event that your significant other, that your have romantic love for, is in the military and deployed overseas for a long period of time, you may find yourself getting your emotional and physical needs met through someone else.
7.The intensity and vulnerability you feel with the first person you romantically love can leave a lasting impact on your life and can cause lasting feelings of love for that person long after you"ve moved on into another romantic relationship.
8.Having a child or children with your ex-spouse or significant other creates a deep bond of romantic love that can stay with you after the relationship has ended and you've moved on.
9.Many people in the world practice polygamy and romantically love all of their spouses equally.
10.Therefore, having a previous love, being a deceased spouse, first romantic love, or distant romantic love, can have an intense effect on the person and be carried into future romantic relationships.
11.Therefore, romantic relationships of the past aren"t the only circumstances that can compel you to love two people at once since polygamy is a present romantic relationship with multiple spouses.

Non-Controversial- 1, 2, and 3 since both parties agree on the definition.

Controversial- 4 is my personal opinion regarding the subject. 5 is controversial since there is no way of telling how a person may cope with death or even wanting to move on. 6, 7, and 8 may be considered controversial since the situations are unique and may be hindered by certain circumstances to the situation. 9 can be controversial since it can be refuted that the polygamous husband romantically loves only one of his wives and only lusts for the others.
Salemod

Con

1. Sometimes a person may be in a relationship with someone because they feel it is the right thing to do, not be cause they actually romantically love them.
2. There are a lot of people in the world who are homosexual and afraid to come out, and may tell a person they love them romantically, but may be lying to themselves because they have not been able to experiment with the sex that they prefer
5. An abusive relationship could cause them to not love the person any more and the death may in tern help them get over that person and not love them any more
6. I believe that emotional and physical needs may not be enough for someone to romantically love another. A person has to have a deep caring towards the second person for it to be romantic.
7. If two people are romantically in love, they would be staying together and would not be apart for any reason. If they do separate, it may mean that the romantic love is gone and they may only love each other as friends, not romantically.
8. I believe that sometimes when people have children, it actually drives them away from one another because of how difficult and stressful things can get. Children do not always fix things and when people end relationships, it is usually because the love is gone.
9. Polygamy is illegal for a reason.
10. Therefore, people may lie when in love
11. Therefore, if two or more people are not together but say they still romantically love that other person, if they are not showing it, it may only be a crush or feelings, and not actual real romantic love.

Controversial-
1. People may not always tell the truth, even in relationships.
2. Similar to the first argument of people do not always tell the truth, a person may have thought they loved someone, but think they like a different sex, and because they are afraid to hurt someone they may love not romantically, they are stuck in a relationship and forced to lie because they see no plausible way out.
5. (From Pro"s argument) If someone is in an abusive relationship, if their spouse passes, it may cause them to move on, not to love them eternally
6. (From Pro"s argument) If our definition of romantic love is defined as," a deep caring towards another individual that is not purely". Lustful," then does a person having their emotional and physical needs satisfied by another person really mean they are also romantically involved with them?
7. (From Pro"s argument) I believe that love conquers all and if a person is romantically in love, they are either in a relationship or not but at least showing the romantic feelings, but if they decide to be friends, there are no romantic feelings left and they cannot be romantically in love if they are friends.
8. (From Pro"s argument) As stated, children do not solve love problems, most people believe that they make them worse so a person may resent their childs other parent as opposed to loving them unconditionally
9.(From Pro"s argument) Polygamy is illegal because it is not possible and it is not a healthy relationship. A person cannot and should not be married to, or in a relationship with another person.
Debate Round No. 1
jennaoconnor

Pro

1.Our definition of romantic love was already defined in round 1, so regardless if a person is being honest or understands what romantic love is is irrelevant to the initial argument if it is possible to romantically love two people at once.

2.It does not matter what the homosexual"s partner thinks or believes. All that is relevant is that the homosexual person in the relationship, for whatever reason, does not love their partner. If they do not even love their current partner, I cant argue that this person loves two people at once.

5. As you said, abuse does not prove love, also meaning it does not disprove love.

6. I agree that physical and sexual needs can be excluded from the equation being that some people do indeed abstain from sex and sexual acts. However, it is possible to feel romantic love for more than one person if someone is just purely having an, "emotional affair" with another, even if there is no sex or heavy physicality involved. Money and stability should be voided in this premise since it does not fit into our initial definition of romantic love.

7. I agree that if a couple is truly in love then they will do everything to make it work. If their needs aren"t being met then it infers that their love is dissolving which dismisses the initial argument.

8. I agree that even though you have children with your partner but the relationship doesn"t work out it is possible that they have tried many times to make it work but the love died and it is also possible that they have not tried very hard and just gave up based on practical reasons, such as money or careers to split being it is best for the child and family, not based on the romantic love they have for each other.

9. Some religions do indeed still practice polygamy, regardless if it is legal or illegal in their country or state because they believe that it is normal, healthy, and possible to romantically love more than one person at once.

10. Therefore, everyone has their own standards of their emotional needs being met to induce a romantic love.

11. Therefore, sometimes regardless of love, people know it"s best to split from their partner, with or without children. Some cases the love may have died, other it may have not.
Salemod

Con

D- and Jenna Round 2

1. It does because a persons word is not always the honest truth. A person may believe they love someone and tell them that they do but it may not be true or they may not know what love really is.
2. This point does not prove anything towards your point. The example was that if a person is a homosexual but is in a heterosexual relationship because they thought they were straight, they may be afraid to tell the person they don"t love them, so their heterosexual spouse may think they love them when they don"t. And even if they are cheating on them with someone of the same sex, the spouse may think they love two people but only the person doing the cheating will know that they are not in love with two people because they are lying to one person that does not know. A persons word are not always honest.
5. You are right that it does not prove or disprove anything, but the previous point is stating that it does not prove love. When people are in abusive relationships it is usually because they are insecure and need attention, which they confuse for love. So they may think they are in love but they are not.
6. I think we can count physical needs out of the question. What about people who are celibate and abstain from sexual contact. Does a hug really count as intimacy? I would say no. Some people may not need emotional or physical needs met in a relationship. Money and stability may be enough for a person to love another romantically. Even saying that, how can money just be love? Also how does this prove you can love more than one person?
7. I agree that there are circumstances that can lead people apart but long term distances do exist and when people are truly in love, they find a way to make it work so if they are not trying to make it work, are they truly in love?
8. I believe that when people split and loose love, they have to have had tried to make it work again, especially with kids. If they are divorced, they most likely tried to make it work for the kids and rekindle the love, but if it is not there any more, it is not their. Separated people with kids are in each others lives due to the kids and co-parenting so they would know if they love each other or not from being around each other all the time.
9. That may be true but if you think about it, polygamy stems from religion. It is a belief that a man should love more than one woman, so by making it illegal it does not have anything to do with the aspect of love. Religions don"t practice it any more people they know people cannot love more than one person, regardless of what the law says.
10. Therefore, people may not always tell the truth about their feelings.
11. Therefore, past love does not always dictate or carry into future relationships, regardless if violence, or children are involved.
12. Therefore if people are truly romantically in love, they make it work no matter what and if they are not making it work, there is no love left.
Debate Round No. 2
jennaoconnor

Pro

1.Our definition of romantic love was already defined in round 1, so regardless if a person is being honest or understands what romantic love is is irrelevant to the initial argument if it is possible to romantically love two people at once.

2.It does not matter what the partner thinks or believes. All that is relevant is that the other person in the relationship, for whatever reason, does not love their partner. If they are honest about not loving their current partner I cannot argue otherwise though just because they do not love their current partner does not mean they are incapable of loving two people at one time.

5. As you said, abuse does not prove love, also meaning it does not disprove love.

6. I agree that physical and sexual needs can be excluded from the equation being that some people do indeed abstain from sex and sexual acts. However, it is possible to feel romantic love for more than one person if someone is just purely having an, "emotional affair" with another, even if there is no sex or heavy physicality involved. Money and stability should be voided in this premise since it does not fit into our initial definition of romantic love.

7. I agree with your rebuttal that if a couple is truly in love then they will do everything to make it work. If their needs aren"t being met then it infers that their love is dissolving which dismisses the initial argument.

8. I agree that even though you have children with your partner but the relationship doesn"t work out it is possible that they have tried many times to make it work but the love died and it is also possible that they have not tried very hard and just gave up based on practical reasons, such as money or careers to split being it is best for the child and family, not based on the romantic love they have for each other.

9. Some religions do indeed still practice polygamy, regardless if it is legal or illegal in their country or state because they believe that it is normal, healthy, and possible to romantically love more than one person at once.

10. Therefore, everyone has their own standards of their emotional needs being met to induce a romantic love.

11. Therefore, sometimes regardless of love, people know it"s best to split from their partner, with or without children. Some cases the love may have died, other it may have not.
Salemod

Con

1. But it does because the human body and mind are not perfect. They may lie to themselves and think they are in love because they situation may be perfect, but may be in love with someone else. And yes if someone is lying, they may appear to be in love more than one person, even if they are not.
2. You just proved your point wrong in this argument, it seems like you are arguing for my side". If the person in the relationship does not love the person, then how can they romantically love more than one person?
5. That may be true, but I believe it disproves love more than anything.
6. Money and stability do not have to be counted out. There are many different reasons people may love someone. A person may want to feel secure in a relationship, another may value sex higher than others, another may value looks higher, but it is all love. This does not prove your point that people can love more than one person at once though. Emotions are not enough.
7. Needs do not always need to be met to be in a relationship. Compromise makes relationships work but how does this prove that people can love more than one person at once?
8. This is true, but again how does it prove your argument that people can romantically love more than one person at once? You just seem to be on my side here.
9. Religion is not proven to be real in any way, neither is god, so how can people who believe god to be true, be right about loving more than one person? Its all made up, nothing is really proven with facts to back it up.
10. Therefore, my arguments stay strong without your reasoning to back up your responses.
11. Therefore love is not black and white, so how does a person ever really know if they are in love with one person?
Debate Round No. 3
jennaoconnor

Pro

1.Sometimes it is out of our control when a romantic relationship ends, such as the death of a loved one. Just because your loved one passes, despite the quality of the relationship, does not mean your romantic love for that person dies as well. Many widowers move on to another romantic relationship but can still carry feelings of romantic love for their deceased partner.
2.In situations of a long term relationship, people may become lonely and look for an emotional and/or physical connection with someone nearby. Not because they do not romantically love their current partner, but because we are human and have needs. This can lead to a person feeling romantic love for another person besides the person they are in a relationship with.
3.Relationships and marriages can fail due to practical and stressful reasons outside of love, such as children. The love may still be there but its best the relationship ends in the best interest of the child. If both people move on and find romantic love with a new partner there still could be love between them and their old partner due to their relationship ending not because of lack of love and the bond they share having a child together.
4.Polygamy is illegal based on many practical reasons, none of which implies that it is not possible to love two people at once.
5.Regardless if a person is being honest with themselves or their partner about their feelings or sexuality, it does not prove that it isn't possible to love two people at once, it just may not be that person they are with at that moment.
6.It is possible to romantically love two people at once time.
Salemod

Con

1. People lie and they may say they love someone when they don"t so how do you really know if they are truly in love?
2. A person cannot romantically love more than one person because romantic love is more than just having needs met. There has to be a deep emotional connection as well.
3. When people are truly in love, no distance can separate them so if they are not together but say they are in love, then they are not really in love.
4. Polygamy cannot be truly accounted for because there is no scientific evidence behind it saying that the person is truly in love with two people. They may just be a sex addict and need more than one person to satisfy them and make the other person think they are in love with them. Polygamy is also based off of religious affairs, which does not make for a credible source.
5. People may lie to themselves and make themselves think they are in love with someone because they may have a lot of money, but they may actually be in love with the money, not the person.
6. When people are in abusive relationships, they cannot truly love the person because if they loved the person, they would not allow them to be abusive, and the abuse can actually make the person love them less.
7. Therefore, a person"s word is not always honest.
8. Therefore, love is more than just being there. You have to make it work and there has to be an intimacy and chemistry that you don"t have with anyone else.
Debate Round No. 4
3 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 3 records.
Posted by CASmnl42 1 year ago
CASmnl42
Well, at least it's not your fault. Do me a favor and give your prof a lousy eval at the end of the semester.
Posted by Salemod 1 year ago
Salemod
@CASmnl42 because its for a college class project.
Posted by CASmnl42 1 year ago
CASmnl42
Why are there so many of these identical asinine debates?
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