The Instigator
edmundst
Pro (for)
Tied
0 Points
The Contender
Abgrimm92
Con (against)
Tied
0 Points

Is it possible to romantically love multiple partners at once?

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 2/14/2015 Category: Philosophy
Updated: 1 year ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 261 times Debate No: 70077
Debate Rounds (4)
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edmundst

Pro

1. Romantic love is a deep, mutual agreement between partners in body and heart driven by sexual and emotional needs.
2. This definition of love differs from the standard definition of love based on an attraction of a desire to take care of another (e.g. maternal love, friendly love, etc.)
3. Within the agreement in a romantic love relationship, trust, appreciation, and desire play the major roles in keeping the relationship together. Once established, it is an on-going state-of-being.
4. Romantic love relationships are not entirely sexual, but biologically, it is generally hard to avoid due to the human need to reproduce.
5. Based on premise 3, this situation has no limits as to how many people this can be experienced with.
6. When new lovers are established, the initial agreement between the original partners doesn"t just disappear. The definition from premise 1 can continue to persist even in the case of a break up.
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7. Therefore, it is possible to romantically love more than one person at a time.

Non-controversial:
Premises 1 & 2 are not controversial, but a standard definition and clarification of romantic love and standard love. Premise 4 is a biological fact.

Controversial:
Premise 3 can be seen as controversial due to one"s opinion on what exactly holds a relationship together.
Abgrimm92

Con

1-2. These premises are definitions. Agreed.
3 and 5. By this, I assume you mean you need these dynamics in order to have a healthy, working relationship based off of romantic love. This will pose a problem on the person whom is having two romantic relationships because knowing they can"t even trust themselves to love one person, they will find themselves struggling to trust their second lover. Also, if one of the partners this man or woman is with loses appreciation or trust in their lover because he/she romantically loves someone else as you are saying it is possible they do, does that not ruin the dynamic of their relationship, given that the definition states those build a romantic relationship?
4. It is true that biologically, we are told to have intercourse with others in order to pass on genes. But using that biological fact in order to cheat, or as a reason to have multiple partners, would be out of context. You can have sex with as many people as you would like but these relationships are not based off of romantic love.
6. Is there ever a final release from this agreement? Is it one that has to be spoken about, or happens naturally and in a subconscious manner?
7. It is not possible to romantically love more than one person at a time.
Debate Round No. 1
edmundst

Pro

3-5. I understand this statement. However, it is very possible to never lose appreciation or trust in someone regardless of how hurtful or unforgiving the act of finding an additional lover is. There are plenty of relationships that are abusive and continue due to the remnants of appreciation, trust, and desire. The trust isn't in one's self, but the significant other.
4. Using this biological fact is not an excuse. It is common that people may use this reason to have multiple partners, but there are modern societies that have multiple partners for guaranteed continuation of DNA. A good portion of the continent of Africa legally permits polygamy where spouses are romantically in love with each other and promote reproduction with those partners.
6. No. The limit to how many romantic love relationship agreements doesn't have a cap. It is established the same way any relationship is and can last just as long--if not longer. If a mutual release from an romantic love relationship agreement occurs, this doesn't give reason to say it can't exist in multiple partners.
Abgrimm92

Con

3-5. Where is the line between a relationship that continues on due to comfortability, financial stability, the presence of children, or anything else that just keeps you in the relationship, despite a lack of love, and the relationship that does still have romantic love? A lot of relationships stay together for reasons like these because it is too much of a burden to end, but there is no longer romantic love present. Also quite commonly in these relationships are the instances of mistresses and side partners, whether known about or not. This is not romantically loving two people at once.
4. I agree.
6. What I meant by that was that you originally said in part one, the agreement between two lovers does not end just because the relationship does. So I am questioning when or if it does end, if this has to be a spoken decision or if this happens naturally after a certain amount of time of not being apart? Are you stating that once you love someone, no matter what, no matter the length of time that has passed, you will never stop loving them?
Debate Round No. 2
edmundst

Pro

3-5. This is relevant. However, while this is a common occurrence, this still does not mean that a high-risk relationship cannot exist where romantic love is present. One partner may see now problem in side partners without the other partner knowing and they can obliviously trust them.
6. Yes, it is possible. For example, when you are married and your spouse dies, you don't stop loving them. You can start a new romantic love relationship, but you can continue to love your dead spouse.
Abgrimm92

Con

3-5. The definition of romantic love that we placed for this debate includes trust, and appreciation for your partner. To have side partners and find it okay, and to not make your partner aware (you said obliviously trusting them), is to violate the necessities of putting love, appreciation, trust, and desire into the relationship. It is, however, still a fact that they are in a romantic love based relationship. But the partner is violating the said "agreement" the lovers made.
6. Agreed.
Debate Round No. 3
edmundst

Pro

1. Romantic love is a deep, mutual agreement between partners in body and heart driven by sexual and emotional needs.
2. This agreement consists of trust, appreciation, and desire and can occur in all types of relationships.
3. In addition to this, the number of agreements that can be established is limitless, so long as the participants have what is mentioned in Premise 2.
4. If the relationship is ended, this does not what Premise 2 mentions disappears.
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5. Therefore, it is possible to romantically love more than one person at a time.
Abgrimm92

Con

1. If these are in truth the dynamics to a romantic relationship, you would be destroying the relationship by having a second partner.
2. You would do this by lying to your partner, if they are not aware that you have another partner, therefore obliterating the trust.
3. The whole relationship would be based on a lie, and therefore not a real relationship to begin with.
4. It is therefore not possible to be cheating and be in two romantic love based relationships.
5. I agree that, especially in the case of one lover passing away, an honest, romantic relationship, will not be forgotten about when it comes to an end.
6. In all other aspects, it is not possible to romantically love more than one person at a time.
Debate Round No. 4
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