The Instigator
siluancc
Con (against)
Tied
0 Points
The Contender
Emily77
Pro (for)
Tied
0 Points

Is that people will lost freedom after marriage?

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 6/30/2014 Category: People
Updated: 2 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 480 times Debate No: 58376
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (1)
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siluancc

Con

Do you have more freedom if you are single? Or is there more freedom in marriage? It may seem to be obvious " you have more freedom if you are single. Being single you can do what you want to and when you want it. When you"re single the world is your oyster. This means that you can achieve anything you wish in life or go anywhere because you have the opportunity or ability to do so.
Emily77

Pro

On the surface, it does look almost as though someone who is single would have more freedom than a married person. However, I believe this to be a false view upon further inspection.

Breaking the Preconception of 'Should'

One of the main reasons why we as people superficially believe that being single leads to an increased level of freedom is the trappings of the 'should' mindset. We have this is some sense when we are single as well, for example, 'I should work on that project for class' or 'I should go grocery shopping today because I'm out of Lucky Charms and chocolate milk'. But the fact that marriage includes the 'shoulds' involving another person as well as your own naturally causes it to seem more restrictive. However, once you break these, you will find that the level of freedom is exactly the same. It is ultimately which 'shoulds' you follow, and which ones you don't.


For example, if I am married, and my spouse asks me to support them at their fund raising event, I will feel as though I 'should' go. I'd perhaps rather go to a concert, but due to the fact that I am married, I will feel as though I do not have the freedom to do so. This is a misconception. I have the freedom to do a cost benefit analysis, and if the pros of going to the concert outweigh the cons, then I will select my choice and live with those consequences. This is no different than a single person who knows they should not go to a concert because they have limited finances to do so, the consequences are simply different. There is no mitigation of freedom here.


Pooled Resources
The pooling of resources is another important reason why marriage can allow for greater freedom. Larger ambitions that one would not have the wealth, time, energy or capacities to do on their own is often made possible by the shared resources of another person. For example, if it were my dream to go on vacation to Hawaii, but I lacked the resources to do so, a spouse may be able to fill in the gap which I am missing.
  • Perhaps I have limited wealth because I have just begun a career. If my spouse is much more established financially, our pooled resources of money would allow me to afford the trip I would not otherwise be able to take.
  • Suppose I work constantly, and only have a couple of hours a day to relax and unwind. My spouse with much more ample time could take care of mundane chores, so that when I return from home, I have the freedom to do what I want instead of being saddled with everyday unpleasant tasks.
  • Perhaps I have been craving pasta Alfredo all day, but after a hard day's work, I am too exhausted to go to the store to pick up the ingredients. My spouse, who has far more energy than myself, pops out and picks them up so that I get to eat what I want instead of refried beans.
  • Perhaps I want to move to a new home but the cost of movers for the job is over $1000, but my spouse works for a moving company and the job gets done free of charge which leaves me all the time to set up the home and an additional $1000 in my pocket to do with what I wish.

Freedom can be quantifiable, but it can also be intangible. It is important to make these distinctions when calculating the benefits and costs of marriage, because ultimately, marriage does not mitigate freedoms, it only imposes more 'make-believe should entities'. Moreover, it allows for more freedom because of the pooled resources that a marriage brings along with it.

Debate Round No. 1
siluancc

Con

siluancc forfeited this round.
Emily77

Pro

Emily77 forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 2
siluancc

Con

siluancc forfeited this round.
Emily77

Pro

Just waiting on a rebuttal...
Debate Round No. 3
siluancc

Con

siluancc forfeited this round.
Emily77

Pro

Emily77 forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 4
1 comment has been posted on this debate.
Posted by 1814Username 2 years ago
1814Username
Marriage is a great idea if you are best friends and know the person completely. Otherwise, it is just a crap shoot.
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