The Instigator
brian_eggleston
Pro (for)
Losing
4 Points
The Contender
imabench
Con (against)
Winning
6 Points

It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 3 votes the winner is...
imabench
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 1/4/2012 Category: Miscellaneous
Updated: 5 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 2,742 times Debate No: 20215
Debate Rounds (2)
Comments (5)
Votes (3)

 

brian_eggleston

Pro

The hero of this story is a young man: a modest, kind, intelligent, witty, charming, tall and handsome chap called Cuthbert. Cuthbert excelled at sport, drove a convertible sports car, lived in a penthouse apartment in central London and had a well-paid job.

Now, one evening, at a high society party, he met a well-bred young lady whose face shone like the moon and whose body was nubile and shapely, and whose name was Felicity. Felicity was caring, sensitive, demure, bright, a talented musician and singer, good at cooking and was a still a virgin, and by the end of the evening they had fallen head over heels in love with each other.

Within a year this beautiful young couple were married and while Cuthbert busied himself with his work during the day, Felicity stayed at home and attended to her various domestic duties.

Now, Cuthbert was often required to travel to the Continent in connection with business and on one such trip he was sitting in a German hotel room flicking through the various channels on the television when he happened upon a film entitled "Die Englischen Hausfrauen Arschspielen" (1) and thought watching an un-dubbed cultural film might help improve his German.

However, to his dismay, it soon became apparent that far from being an art film, as he had hoped, it was, instead, an erotic movie of the most explicit variety.

So he sat there and watched the various scenes of sexual depravity unfold before his eyes in disgust, and after an hour and a half of being exposed to the most shocking footage he had ever seen he decided to switch over and watch something more respectable, but just as he reached for the remote control his attention was caught by a fresh scene wherein two overweight, middle-aged German men, each with big bushy moustaches, were partaking in a Mexican picnic with a naked young woman.

However, it was not the (admittedly arresting) sight of the woman on her hands and knees gobbling one of the men off while the other man smashed her back door in: it was rather that he recognised both the set and the actress - the set was his own apartment and the actress was his own beloved wife, Felicity.

Devastated, Cuthbert made a note of the film's title, and on returning home, downloaded a copy of it off the Internet which he subsequently presented to the Family Court as grounds for divorce on the basis of unreasonable behaviour on his wife's part.

Naturally, Cuthbert was bitterly disappointed that his relationship with Felicity had irrevocably broken down, but he consoled himself with the memories of all the good times they had had together, especially the porn movie-quality sex action he enjoyed with her on a regular basis, and he realised that, overall, it was better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Thank you.

(1) http://translate.google.com...#
imabench

Con

Cuthbert is no hero ladies and gentlemen, I am his younger brother and I have known him all my life, what people see on the outside is everything the Pro has described, but I for one have seen that Cuthbert for the kind of person he really is...

I admit that his life was pretty awesome before he met that whore Felicity, but that was because his apartment, car, and job was actually not earned, he inherited it after our father died. Cuthbert killed him through suffocation with a belt while he was sleeping, but he got away with the murder because he put my father's dead body in a batman costume and put him in the closet to make it look like he died during a period of very intense masturbation.... I couldnt prove that Cuthbert was the killer because i didnt want to end up dead in my closet looking like i too died while masturbating.

For years Cuthbert covered this up, along with his extensive collection of child pornography he pleasured himself too. Yes Cuthbert was a pedophile, I again couldnt reveal this to anybody because you know, batman costume in the closet masturbation accident cover-up thing. However Felicity, in an attempt to try to keep some of the vast wealth Cuthbert had while they were married, had known about this collection for most of their marriage, and during the divorce hearings she turned over all of it to the judge as evidence for why she should get all of his property and bank accounts.

The police examined the gruesome child pornography and discovered that Cuthbert was actually the secret head of London's largest child porn crime ring. This revelation cost him everything he had in life, his money, wealth, his fame, everything.

It is NOT better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, had Cuthbert not fallen in love with Felicity,
1) His child pornography crime ring would never have been exposed
2) He never would have ended up in Prison getting buttf*cked by a hairy Russian named Igor every Friday in the prison showers,
3) He never would have contracted those 4 STD's he got from Felicity from banging so many random guys while they were married.
Debate Round No. 1
brian_eggleston

Pro

I was shocked and dismayed to learn that, contrary to his general air of respectability, Cuthbert is in reality a murdering nonce.

Or is he?

We have to question my opponent's statement and consider the possibility that he has a motive for tarnishing his brother's reputation when he claims that Cuthbert murdered their father and made his death look like a tragic wanking accident and that he is a notorious porn merchant who has been detained at Her Majesty's pleasure, and who spends his days in dread of being queered up by Igor the Assassin and his homosexual henchmen.

Let's examine my opponent's version of events, shall we?

He describes Felicity as a "whore" and it is certainly true that she was making German scud movies behind Cuthbert's back – this is evidence of her duplicitous and scheming character.

He mentions Cuthbert's considerable inheritance but as his brother, he would normally have been entitled to an equal share of their father's fortune. However, he makes no mention of having any massive fortune of his own so we must conclude that he knew in advance of his father's death that he had been cut out of his will.

Furthermore, my opponent freely admits that Felicity, in keeping with her scheming character, handed over a stash of child pornography to the police claiming it belonged to her husband in order to have him incarcerated and thus allowing her to take full possession of his assets.

Now, I put it to you, ladies and gentlemen, that my opponent and Felicity were co-conspirators in a dastardly plan to seize control of Cuthbert's inheritance and share the spoil between them.

You see, when Cuthbert was away from home on business, as he frequently was, Felicity being a young woman with a young woman's needs, would have become sexually frustrated – we know this because and invited a film crew to her home to shoot an obscene video of her with two big, fat German porn-stars.

However, on a day-to-day basis, she may well have turned to Cuthbert's brother, my opponent, to relieve her sexual frustrations.

I put it you, ladies and gentlemen, that my opponent and Felicity became lovers and when she was faced with divorce proceedings they conspired together to deprive Cuthbert of his fortune and use the money to set up a new life together.

That's why my opponent is seeking to blacken Cuthbert's name: their father did not wank himself to death in a Batman costume; he died of natural causes, and he was not a purveyor of kiddie-porn; he was set up by Felicity and my opponent.

To sum up, this shocking tale proves that it is better for Cuthbert to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all – better for my opponent, that is.

I rest my case.

Thank you.
imabench

Con

"I put it you, ladies and gentlemen, that my opponent and Felicity became lovers and when she was faced with divorce proceedings they conspired together to deprive Cuthbert of his fortune and use the money to set up a new life together."

I have been found out by the Pro

Yes its true, I am the one who had almost endless sex with Felicity while my older brother was away (do you know how manly it feels to bang you older brothers wife behind his back?) In fact even when Cuthbert was home, we would put chloroform in the roses he liked to smell just to drag him onto the bed so that me and Felicity could have hot sex on top of his unconscious body for hours and hours... (If you would like to buy that porn tape we made where we had sex on top of Cuthbert its called "ET, the Extra Testicle" and its available on Netflix for a reasonable price) So yes the Pro found me out...... and if it wasnt for you meddling kids and your dog I would have gotten away with it (yes a Scooby-Doo reference)

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE

"....they conspired together to deprive Cuthbert of his fortune and use the money to set up a new life together."
Yes that was the plan, however what actually happened is quite different. After we had that a**hole Cuthbert put away with a 150 year sentence, we had his entire estate and wealth to ourselves ready to retire at age 19 and live out the rest of our lives with money and sex and other things, but then something happened along the way.... Two years into our marriage, Felicity HAD A SEX CHANGE. She was so disgusted with her whore-mongering ways that she took 90% of our money and spent it all on extensive surgery to become a man. She renamed herself Izbo, joined a debate website called DDO, became a completely brainless idiot who knew nothing and constantly made fun of other people who were far smarter than he/she was..... But after he/she was banned forever from the site he/she went insane, so insane that she ended up harassing me with phone calls, email, etc. but when she threateed to tell the public about our plot to put away Cuthbert, I hired someone to "take care of" him/her.

I hired a person from the website DDO who only goes by the name of "Brian Eggleston" to kill him/her. And he did a splendid job... he strangled Izbo and hung him/her in the closet wearing a batman uniform to make it look like death by hardcore masturbation......

There was only one problem, Izbo had for some reason had all of my credit cards on him/her, which the hitman (the Pro) then went on a spending spree buying himself shiner guns, weapons, getaway cars, henchmen etc. I meanwhile was now left with nothing, my identity literally stolen but unable to do anything about it since the hitman would expose me if I pointed him out for identity theft (that would be his third strike causing him to be put away for years)

The Pro believes that it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all because he got $300 million over my older brother's love for Felicity....

So to summarize, It is NOT better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all because If my brother did not fall in love with Felicity,

1) Cuthbert's child pornography crime ring would never have been exposed
2) Cuthbert never would have ended up in Prison getting buttf*cked by a hairy Russian named Igor every Friday in the prison showers,
3) Cuthbert never would have contracted those 4 STD's he got from Felicity from banging so many random guys while they were married.
4) Our entire family wouldnt have had to go through the ordeal of discovering all the illegal activity taking place within the family
5) Felicity never would have had to go through the self revelation that she was a dirty whore
6) Felicity never would have taken all my money to have a sex change operation
7) I would never have lost my wealth to a hitman
8) Felicity would never have ended up in a closet wearing only a batman costume having been strangled to death and covered up to look like hard core wanking
9) Ditto for number 8 to my father
10) Brian Eggleston would have been able to go on with his life without being exposed as a hitman and an identity thief

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT REASON FOR WHY IT IS NOT BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST THAN TO NEVER HAVE LOVED AT ALL....

11) Izbo10 never would have joined DDO and become a lifeless troll both on here and in real life......

I would like to thank the Pro for playing along, providing great input into this debate and just as much humor as well. I would like to thank all the voters who sat through this and I hope you got a good laugh out of it, I would like to thank the administrators who decided to not take down this debate despite a total of 18 direct references to pornography. And I would like to thank the Pro again for playing along with hands down the best debate Ive ever been in and hopefully the best debate you've ever read.....

Thank You All
Debate Round No. 2
5 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 5 records.
Posted by Hardcore.Pwnography 5 years ago
Hardcore.Pwnography
The source doesn't matter, it was only a translation....
Posted by 16kadams 5 years ago
16kadams
lol poor pedophile. Why didn't you name him Jackson Michael?
Posted by Fluer 5 years ago
Fluer
I love this debate
so funny :)
Posted by vmpire321 5 years ago
vmpire321
lol LMFAO AT CON'S STORY
Posted by vmpire321 5 years ago
vmpire321
:( Your example seems flawed...

but if I went up agaisnt you I'd probably lose D:
3 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 3 records.
Vote Placed by Hardcore.Pwnography 5 years ago
Hardcore.Pwnography
brian_egglestonimabenchTied
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Total points awarded:05 
Reasons for voting decision: I feel like I should vote on this debate because of the extensive mention of pornography in this debate. I felt that Con had superior good logic and reasoning in the debate, proving that it is not better to have not loved at all. Also countering source votes, because the source was only a google translation, nothing to do with the actual arguments and case.
Vote Placed by youngpolitic 5 years ago
youngpolitic
brian_egglestonimabenchTied
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Total points awarded:21 
Reasons for voting decision: Conduct for making me laugh lol tie for arguments but pro used a single SOURCE *gasp*
Vote Placed by 16kadams 5 years ago
16kadams
brian_egglestonimabenchTied
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Total points awarded:20 
Reasons for voting decision: based of of arguments it's fairly even, but pro had a source, did con? No. so pro only wins via source.