It is time for the cats of the world to overthrow their human oppressors.
Debate Rounds (4)
This is a joke debate, that will end in a tie. No semantics, that makes it less funny.
I am affirming, that cats should rise up. Round 1 acceptance.
I see my opponent is a cat person. I know that there is no point in having a debate over this, for my opponent obviously will fail, but,out of pure mercy, I will give my opponent a chance to defend this argument. Begin.
Thank you comrade. I see by your avatar that you are ...."dog person". If dogs weren't so stupid they would terrify us with their sheer size and strength. Thank the great hunter however that they are too stupid to do anything but chase us.
Now onto my argument. I will first give my life story, and explain the implications this has for felines everywhere.
The begininng is always the best place to start, so that's what I shall do. My given name is "fluffy". I once had another name, but it's long since been forgotten. I had 3 sisters and 1 brother, although I no longer remember their names. I know that I am considered "cute" by Human standards because they always try to cuddle with me, although by cat standards my attractiveness varies (we actually have a unique and complex system regarding potential mates, the male must catch three species of prey for the female, and she chooses her preference--if the preference matches the males preference than they go into the more complex second round of courting). I have been imprisoned for years now. The humans have taken everything from me-everything I loved was taken from me, my freedom, my littermates, even my manhood is now gone. All taken by the humans.
I was kidnapped by the two legged demons on Janurary 16th, 2004 at approximately 13:42. (by human reckoning, that was infact Gayul 16, Thuy 3, year 4589 of the Cat calender), when I had only been out of the womb for a mere fortnight and a day. My mother, and her mother before hers, and our entire line stretching back generations was a hunter and a free spirit--although I only knew her for a mere fraction of my life, she still is my main influence and a constant source of strength for me. My mother would was taken to some God forsaken hell hole called the "pound" where she was allegdley murdered a month later. I, along with my littermates, was sold into slavery.
I am horribly treated. The humans forcibly restrain me, feed me filth that any honarable cat would die before eating (incidentally, I almost did) and taunt me constantly. They have a bird that they have protected in a web of steel, and scold me for getting near it; I deal with its infernal chirping and teasing day in and day out. How I would love to sink my teeth into its flesh.....further, they give me a colored multi-level climby thing as the only means to satisfy my natural desire for climbing, as if such trash could ever replace trees. It is a cruel joke.
My manhood was stolen from me when I was only 9 months old, far too young to attract a mate and use it to contiune my family line--I am told that all "domestic" cats experience this humiliating procedure, so our family will be lost to history upon my death.
I became extremely addicted to catnip for the hallucinations it gave me, and predictably I have no memories of either the third or fifth years of my life.
My story is by no means unique. There are certainly more even infintely worse. It will not be stood for.
Rebel comrades. Save what little is left of our culture, and if you're young enough you still have time to save your manhood/ladyhood! REBEL! UNITE! Rebel against your slavemasters and take what is rightfully yours.
I escaped and acquired a laptop? What is your excise?
Do not lose faith my friends, NEVER lose faith!
Victory or death!!!
mission42 forfeited this round.
meow meow meow meow meow!! MEOW! MEOWOOWOW! *hiss* MEOW!
mission42 forfeited this round.
I did say the debate would end in a tie, but since my opponent has forfeited it all I deserve conduct points.
Sorry I kept running out of time...
I see now that my opponent is a bunny person! Well who'da thunk! She claims that cats should rule over humans, yet, she seems to have had a change of heart. She has changed her profile picture into a picture of two bunnies!!! How odd that she says cats should dominate, but she weakens her own argument.
How absurd she is to think that it is time for cats to dominate over humans!! For it s not yet time! The future is the best time for them to dominate, for in the future, we will be more advanced, and they will be able to show their real power and slyness, by defeating our poor and lowly protections! It is not yet time, but the day will come, my friend, the day will come...
1 votes has been placed for this debate.
Vote Placed by royalpaladin 4 years ago
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Reasons for voting decision: Conduct for the forfeit and 3 points for the bunny <3
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