The Instigator
Cinammon1
Pro (for)
Losing
51 Points
The Contender
Danielle
Con (against)
Winning
62 Points

It is too hard for women to escape domestic violence.

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 4/2/2008 Category: Society
Updated: 9 years ago Status: Voting Period
Viewed: 2,078 times Debate No: 3489
Debate Rounds (2)
Comments (3)
Votes (31)

 

Cinammon1

Pro

Throughout multiple experiences discussing the issue of domestic violence, I have come to the conclusion that it is just too hard for women to escape. The ignorance that I have encountered so far is that everyone believes that women will magically become empowered by motivational sayings and speeches and just eventually leave but the fact remains that this is untrue.

There are multiple thing that hold women in abusive relationships such as children, religious beliefs, and the biggest one of all fear.

1.Children - Children are a big factor in an abused women life. After being abused and isolated from non-immediate family such as parents or siblings, the women see their children as a refuge from feeling lonely. In some cases with older children their abused mother uses them as a shoulder to cry on. With younger children their abused mothers are afraid of the abuser turning to the children as a punching bag if they were to leave. In a sense they feel like they are being good mothers for protecting their children and taking the beating. The sad truth though is that a mother in this circumstance doesnt realize is that an abuser could potentially kill them and that would be even worse on the children.

2.Religious Beliefs - With religions that preach of tolerance and that divorce is bad in the eyes of god, some women believe that they have to stay with the abuser.

3.Fear - fear for their life and the lives of other people they know are prevelent in an abuse womans mind.

To my opponent: I am looking for new veiwpoints for an oratory so I ask that you please keep it short and blunt as you can. THANX
Danielle

Con

The resolution of this debate is indeed a sensitive subject, however, I will do my best to present the argument of Con without stepping on too many toes. I would like to thank Pro for the chance to debate even though the subject matter may be a little dark.

1. My opponent argues that a mother continues to stay in an abusive domestic relationship because of her children. She noted the perception of a mother feeling as though she is doing her children a favor by being the person to accept the partner's beatings instead of her kids. To counter that logic, perhaps instead the mother should be thinking about

a: my opponent's example of a woman being beaten so badly that she dies
b: the kind of passive example she is setting for her children to follow
c: being in an abusive enviornment is detrimental to the growth and mental well-being of a child, even if they are merely spectators

If someone pointed out these factors and more that greatly outweigh the consequence of hear concern, a woman might not deem it too hard to escape domestic violence after all.

2. Studies show that the influence of the Church (religion) in this country affecting people's choices regarding their lifestyle are in decline (Source: http://www.wfu.edu...). Basically, my point is that the notion of having to conform to one's religious ideals is slightly outdated in this country. Whether you agree with it or not, those are the facts.

3. Pro argues that fear is the biggest motivator that keeps women in abusive relationships; fear for their own lives and the lives of others. However in my opinion that is a little silly; who is to say that a woman will not be beaten or bludgeoned to the point of death after long-term physical abuse? On another note, being in an abusive relationship can have mentally damaging effects as well that lead to their own type of fatal injury. Depression is common amongst abused women and as a result so is suicide.

As for some of my own reasoning why I am against the idea that it is "too hard" for women to escape domestic violence (for the sake of debate), here are some of my ideas:

1. Many women (not enough, but still a lot) have in fact escaped the wrath of abusive partners. Therefore to say that it is 'too hard' is a false generalization and one that I can easily argue to win this debate.

2. There is help available for victims of domestic violence including battered women shelters and other organizations that take women in and attempt to either remove them from a dangerous situation or help make changes in the women's environment.

3. If a woman feels too trapped to seek out such a service, there are online support groups and other anonymous ways (i.e. phone hotlines) of reaching out and discussing the problem and seeking a solution.

4. There are sources including online information as well as pro-bono attorneys and low income legal aid offices that instruct women on how to go about surviving or leaving an abusive domestic relationship. These places tell women their rights and define legal options in taking action against the perpetrator. If my opponent wishes to use the argument that their fear will inhibit them from seeking such a source, my answer is again the fact that should someone provide them with all of these different options their choices may be a little different. Thus it may not be "too hard" to do afterall.

5. Abused women could seek counseling or therapy and discuss the issues with a professional outside source who is bound to keep her (the woman's) secrets private. The victim does not have to tell her husband why she is seeking help. Again this is just one of many options.

6. What ever happened to the good old fashioned calling of the cops? Granted the fear argument strongly applies here, however, in many cases a call to the police will actually result in an arrest of the violent partner and can/should provide as a real eye opener. Granted this doesn't always work but it can work and often does so there is no reason a woman should not try...

Basically my argument for this round is that yes, fear is a paralyzing emotion that often causes one to lose sight of logic and reason. However, fear can be overcome and is in many circumstances every single day. Therefore it is not "too hard" for a woman to escape anything that she puts her mind to and that she wants to escape. The woman is not a prisoner; it is her own apprehension that stands in the way of her freedom and there is always a way to overcome fear. And on a personal note, I apologize to my opponent for the length of this round -- I truly did want to keep it brief as she requested. Back to you.
Debate Round No. 1
Cinammon1

Pro

Cinammon1 forfeited this round.
Danielle

Con

Again, the resolution states: It is too hard for women to escape domestic violence. If that were true, then howcome so many women have gotten help and gotten away? It is indeed a struggle, however, people (women) do it every day and thefefore it is not too hard for (all) women. This is too broad of a generalization.
Debate Round No. 2
3 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 3 records.
Posted by Mangani 9 years ago
Mangani
I like this term- "co-conspirators in their own misery". I know exactly what you mean...
Posted by Mangani 9 years ago
Mangani
Wow Lwerd. I saw you had a 100% debate win ratio and decided to follow your debates and vote against you to break your ratio... but being a fair and balanced person you continue to maintain your ratio... By the way, I'm falling in love... j/k!
Posted by Paradigm_Lost 9 years ago
Paradigm_Lost
While I agree with Pro that leaving an abusive relationship is often not as easy as packing up the kids and the dog in the minivan and driving in to bliss, it certainly is not an impossibility, nor do I think that it should ever be seen as such.

That kind of defeatist, "doormat" mentality is what traps many women, and some men, in abusive relationships. Hell, there are countless people out there who are co-conspirators in their own misery. This is because some people have psychologically associated abuse with attention, as sad as that is, and the masochist is all to happy to have their sadist.
31 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Vote Placed by jayrobbins 7 years ago
jayrobbins
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Vote Placed by Danielle 8 years ago
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