The Instigator
monte55
Pro (for)
Winning
1 Points
The Contender
qwertyj
Con (against)
Losing
0 Points

It"s possible to romantically love more than one person at once.

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 1 vote the winner is...
monte55
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 2/7/2015 Category: Society
Updated: 1 year ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 423 times Debate No: 69614
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (1)
Votes (1)

 

monte55

Pro

1) Love refers to the intense feeling of caring, passion and affection for another person. It also means having a deep feeling of attraction and attachment to the individual.
2) It is important to clarify that we are speaking about romantic love in this circumstance, and other definitions, levels and types of love are irrelevant.
3) A person can certainly be in love romantically with more than one individual at a time.
4) There are instances where the special other may break up with, pass away, lose feelings/ interest, or leave someone they are in love with, leaving that someone still in love but possibly feeling forced to move on and find another person whom which they will love.
5) Regarding premise 4, that someone may never have stopped being in love with the person whom left them, because it was not their decision to do so and be forced to move on.
6) Many people in our history and modern day believe and practice polygamy, which is having multiple spouses. This supports the idea that people can be in love with more than one individual at the same time.
7) Monogamy is now a social norm and anything other than it is often looked upon as morally wrong and often illegal. If it wasn't seen as this more people would be open regarding how they may be in love with more than one individual.
8) Cheating, which unfortunately occurs often in our society, is often seen as a mistake based on impulse versus the possibility that that "cheating" individual may actually be in love with more than one individual. This supports that social norms and what society sees as wrong clouds most people opinion and views on the acceptance and understanding behind someone loving multiple people at once.
9) It is important to differentiate between sex and being in love romantically with someone. It is also important to understand the difference between loving someone and romantically loving someone.
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10) Therefore, you are capable of loving more than one person at once.

Non-Controversial: Premises 1, 2 and 9 are either statements, clarifications, or definitions.

Controversial: Premises 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8 are controversial premises and reflect my opinions and evidence supporting my viewpoints and beliefs.
qwertyj

Con

1) I agree with the definition of love as premise 1 states from the opponent.
2) I also agree with this important clarification that It is important to clarify that we are speaking about romantic love in this circumstance, and other definitions, levels and types of love are irrelevant.
3) In terms of relationships a person can only be fully committed to one person. This is why the majority of people are in monogamous relationships because they realize that you can only be in love with one person at a time.
4) Yes, there are instances where people may break up with, pass away, lose feelings/ interest, or leave someone they are in love with, but if they are forced to move on with another person then they clearly only still are in love with there ex lover and are only moving on with the new individual because they feel forced to, and not because they are in love with them.
5) Yes exactly, they may never have stopped being in love with the person whom left them, but just because they moved on with someone else doesn't mean they are now automatically in love with them.
6) yes, people do practice polygamy, but just because they may be married to more than one person doesn't mean they are in love with all of them.
7) Monogamy is now a social norm but there is it reason that it is, and this is because you can only love one person at a single time and most people in our world realize this.
8) Cheating is often based on impulse and if it is not and they actually love the other person whom they are having an affair with, then they must not be in love with there actual spouse anymore then.
9)I agree with this clarification that It is important to differentiate between sex and being in love romantically with someone.
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10) Therefore, you are capable of loving more than one person at once.

Non-Controversial: I agree that premises 1, 2 and 9 are either statements, clarifications, or definitions.

Controversial: I also agree that premises 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8 are controversial premises and reflect my opinions and evidence supporting my viewpoints and beliefs.
Debate Round No. 1
monte55

Pro

3) The majority of people are not in monogamous relationships because of the fact that they believe you can only love one person at a time. Instead, the majority of people are in monogamous relationships because it is now a social norm and a social standard, and people are afraid to stand out and feel that they must adhere to this norm.
4) No, after breakups people very often feel the need to move on with a new individual, in doing so it is also very common for them to fall in love with the new partner as well. With that said, it is not uncommon for people to still love their ex and have strong feelings for them and now also be in love with another individual.
5) Similarly to my previous response, they very well may be in love with a new partner in which they met and moved on with, and they can certainly still be in love with their ex lover as well. it was not their decision to break up with their ex, it was forced upon them, and when this occurs it is common for people to move on and develop feelings for a new individual as well.
6) Most marriages are based on being in love with the person(s) in which they are married to. The vast majority of relationships are based on love and it is ridiculous to say that most people get married who are not in love with each other. This is the sole reason why marriages exist in our society.
7) We are not debating about the majority of people and their beliefs on marriage/ love in our society. instead, we are debating whether or not it is possible to love more than one person at the same time. i feel that your response serves as supporting evidence towards my position that it is indeed possible to love more than one individual at a single time.
8) No, even if the cheating is based on impulse, it's possible that they may actually be in love with the person whom they are having an affair with. I think I need to clarify that by cheating I am speaking about having relationships with more than one individual other than the person whom you are married to, in a relationship with. and not just an instance of a sort of one night stand sort of cheating.
qwertyj

Con

3) Yes, it may be a social norm now to be in a monogamous relationship, but it is because people realize in our society that you truly can only be in love with one person at a time, sure you may have feelings for someone else or like someone else, but you are not automatically in love with someone else just because you may sexually be involved with them.
4) If they have met a new person in their life because they felt forced to attempt to move on that does not imply whatsoever that they now are in love with them. If they still are in love with their ex then by moving on or attempting to move on all they are doing is physically trying to not love their ex anymore, and if they are successful at doing that then they now may be in love with only the new individual that is in there life and not their ex anymore. Even though they may still care about them.
5) My response to this premise is essentially the same as my previous response, that if they have met a new person in their life because they felt forced to attempt to move on that does not imply whatsoever that they now are in love with them.
6) As you said in premise 7, we are not debating about majorities here. We're debating whether it's possible to love more than one person or not and it is not possible to love multiple people at the same time. People get married under false motives all the time, whether it be forced marriages or even marrying into money your argument that polygamy proves you can love more than one individual at once in invalid. This is because marriage doesn't always mean that you love the person(s) whom you are married to.
7) No, the reason you are incorrect is because I'm trying to prove that there is a reason why most people understand that you can only love one individual at a time, and those who may practice polygamy and may claim to be in love with multiple people at once may have a false or misinterpreted definition of romantic love than we agreed upon.
8) No it's not possible because if they truly loved the person in which they were married to they would not have cheated in the first place. Cheating is often based on impulse and that is because they often do not respect there special other enough because they aren't truly in love with them. If they were, they would be caring towards that person and not want to hurt them/ mistreat them. caring is an attribute of romantic love in which we agreed upon earlier.
Debate Round No. 2
monte55

Pro

3) The majority of people are not in monogamous relationships because of the fact that they believe you can only love one person at a time. Instead, the majority of people are in monogamous relationships because it is now a social norm and a social standard, and people are afraid to stand out and feel that they must adhere to this norm.
4) No, after breakups people very often feel the need to move on with a new individual, in doing so it is also very common for them to fall in love with the new partner as well. With that said, it is not uncommon for people to still love their ex and have strong feelings for them and now also be in love with another individual.
5) Similarly to my previous response, they very well may be in love with a new partner in which they met and moved on with, and they can certainly still be in love with their ex lover as well. it was not their decision to break up with their ex, it was forced upon them, and when this occurs it is common for people to move on and develop feelings for a new individual as well.
6) Most marriages are based on being in love with the person(s) in which they are married to. The vast majority of relationships are based on love and it is ridiculous to say that most people get married who are not in love with each other. This is the sole reason why marriages exist in our society.
7) We are not debating about the majority of people and their beliefs on marriage/ love in our society. instead, we are debating whether or not it is possible to love more than one person at the same time. i feel that your response serves as supporting evidence towards my position that it is indeed possible to love more than one individual at a single time.
qwertyj

Con

3. I agree with this response.
4. I agree that one of the individuals may very well still have feelings for the other in these circumstances, however just because they may still love the other individual doesn't necessarily mean that they are romantically in love with them. I believe the specific category of romantic love is deeper than just having feelings for another person and I believe to romantically be in love with someone there must be some sort of connection or interaction between the two individuals. Without any interaction it would essentially just be reminiscing on the past.
5. My response to premise 6 is the same as premise 5.
6. As I stated in my first premise 7 response, I agree with you that sexual interactions are not required nor the basis for being in love with someone, however I do think as stated in my last two premises that some sort of interaction is required to truly be romantically in love with someone. yes, we agreed to the definition, however the definition says nothing regarding what it means to be truly romantically in love with someone. And yes, this is based on my personal interpretation because we have not agreed upon what is required to truly be in love with someone yet thus far.
7. I concede with this premise because this was solely my opinion and I feel I didn't provide enough evidence to support it.
8. There are many instances where people are married with false intention and where marriages are formed without true feelings of love for one another. Arranged marriages, "gold diggers", and marrying someone to gain a position of power are some examples.
Debate Round No. 3
monte55

Pro

3. I still agree with our definition of romantic love, which is "Having romantic love with someone is defined as having a strong and passionate affection towards someone or something." This type of love is completely different from a platonic love, or one shared with a family member.
4. I am still a believer in the idea that a one sided love can exist. Although the feelings of are never present or no longer there for one individual, they certainly can be there for another. It's kind of like the riddle "If a tree falls in a forest, but no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" Just because no one is around to observe doesn't mean that it doesn't exist at all.
5. I understand your claim in that without physical interaction that true romantic love won't exist. I agree that physical interaction can help enhance a love, but it is not the sole reason as to why the love is there. Before a physical connection is made, there needs to be a mental and emotional connection already established. That is where, in my opinion, how true romantic love is started. If a lover has died, and one can no longer have a physical connection, does their love die with their partner?
6. I agree that there are many marriages in where there is no true love established, but the majority are not often that way. This still leads me to believe that many scenarios have existed in where a divorce takes place and the romantic love that one has had had for another still existed, even if that person has moved on to another. Love is not just something you can choose to be in one day and not the next.
7) Most marriages are based on being in love with the person(s) in which they are married to. The vast majority of relationships are based on love and it is ridiculous to say that most people get married who are not in love with each other. This is the sole reason why marriages exist in our society.
8) I feel as if people more times then not get married out of love. Based on that it is more likely for someone to get cheat and then divorced, and then remarry out of love for their new partner, and still have love for their ex and be in love with them.
qwertyj

Con

3. I agree as I previously stated that one person can still have feelings for the other without the feelings being mutual, however that does not mean that they are in love with that person. There is a big difference between the two and i still hold to my position regarding this premise.
4. I see where you're coming from, however they may very well still love the other person who died but they simply cannot be in love with them because they are no longer able to be with each other, only the memories of that person and what they once had does.
5. Similarly to my previous premise, even though one person may still have feelings and the other may have lost them doesn't mean that person is in love with them, even though they may believe that they are and constantly be thinking of what they had in the past when there relationship actually existed physically.
6. yes but again just because a person moved on doesn't mean they are now in love with that person, not to mention romantically in love. They are only;y trying to move on whether it be sexually or mentally and not have to live in the pain that the person that they actually are in love with left them.
7. False, marriages can be based upon many different things as I stated earlier, and not only on love. Unfortunately being married to someone simply doesn't make it factual that you are in love with them, even if it might appear so to others because of the fact that it is a norm to be in love with the person(s) you are married to.
8.Even if people almost always get married out of love and not because of false pretenses hat doesn't mean that they always love the person they are married to and that the individuals are in love. I stand by my overall opinion that you can only love one person at once and I feel that your previous premise 8 only further supports my view.
Debate Round No. 4
1 comment has been posted on this debate.
Posted by qwertyj 1 year ago
qwertyj
In debate round 1 I need to make a correction on my premise #10 to--

10) Therefore, you are capable of only loving one person at once.
1 votes has been placed for this debate.
Vote Placed by Leo.Messi 1 year ago
Leo.Messi
monte55qwertyjTied
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Total points awarded:10 
Reasons for voting decision: Spelling and grammar go to pro.