The Instigator
gonzaleza74
Pro (for)
Tied
0 Points
The Contender
chowdhuryn7
Con (against)
Tied
0 Points

It"s possible to romantically love more than one person at once.

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 2/14/2015 Category: Philosophy
Updated: 1 year ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 205 times Debate No: 70051
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (0)
Votes (0)

 

gonzaleza74

Pro

1. Love is to be infused with or feeling deep affection or passion for another human being
2. Love makes you care about someone else well-being
3. To be in love you don't necessarily have to be in a relationship or have the title of it
4. Humans are naturally wired to be with multiple partners, especially men since they want to naturally spread their seed to guarantee a wide variety of offspring
5. Polygamy is accepted for Muslims in India, Philippines, Singapore, Malaysia, and etc
6. Relationship last longer when you have conjoint marriage
7. Women also have open marriages which are called polyandry so it's not only men.
8. We don't choose who we love, it just happens
9. You can be in love with your current boyfriend, but also still be in love with your ex.
10. Falling in love with someone else that's not your partner because of their traits ( personality,etc)

C. It is possible to love more than one person romantically at a time.

Non-Controversial
Premises 1,2,3, and 8 are non-controversial because my opponent would most likely agree because it truly represents what love is between two people or more.

Controversial
Premises 5,7, are controversial.
5&7. Some people in a polygamy relationship because they cant choose between the two people they are involved with. This is like any other relationship, its about supporting each other like any kind of relationship.
6&9. It is a rhetoric analogy.
chowdhuryn7

Con

1. I partially agree with that statement. However, love is much more than just passion or affection. Affection is usually found in the love between a mother and a child and passion is usually just between sexual partners.
2. I agree with your statement.
3. I agree with that statement.
4. Humans are not naturally wired this way, animals are. Also, men do not necessarily want to spread their sperm, they just want to have sexual intercourse. However, females are also like this so it is not just males.
6. That is not true in all occasions, it depends.
8. I agree with that statement.
9. You might have feeling for your ex but these feelings are not necessarily love, they can be lust or platonic love.
10. If you love someone for their traits, you are not in love with them, but in love with their traits. R03;
11. Therefore, it is not possible to love more than one person at the same time.

Controversial Premises:
1: Your definition of passion and affection is unclear.
4: This premise is only based on certain stereotypes . All humans aren't sex craved creatures. Also all men aren't sex craved creatures.
6: Even if this is the case, it does not prove your conclusion.
9: This premise is just a possible scenario.
10: If you fall in love with someone who is not your partner, then it is because you have fallen out of love with your partner.

Non-Controversial Premises:
Premises 2,3, and 8 are points that I can agree with about the simple concepts of love.

Questions:
Premise 5 and 7 : What do you mean by polygamy and polyandry? What are the definitions of each?
Debate Round No. 1
gonzaleza74

Pro

1. I don't necessarily agree with your statement. You can show your partner affection and build the relationship with them. Learn to know them such as there interest, desires, and goals. Isn't always sexual or desire for there touch and sexual feeling such as passion.
4. Agree
5. If they are with two people it's because they can't choose between both of them. Because what if that one person is your soul mate and the person you believe you will end up with, but the other person is the one that makes you look forward in life and gives you excitement and happiness and also makes you wonder what the future is between of you. So clearly they have strong feelings for them.
9. I disagree because what if the person still not over there ex its not necessarily lust it's because the feelings are still there. They believe that they had a future with that person, the white picket fence,the kids, and dog. They put everything they had into that relationship, but they also learn to grow together.
10. I disagree because their traits can make you fall in love with them. For example, the way they look, his interest, goals, the way he reacts to certain situations,and the way he acts with you and only you. Hence, making that person more attractive to you.

Premise 5&7
Polygyny is where a man has multiple simultaneous wives
Polyandry is where a women has multiple simultaneous husbands
chowdhuryn7

Con

1. I am a bit confused as to which part of my premise you don't agree with. I agree that you can always build on your relationship with your partner. You can build on a relationship with anyone by showing them affection. However, you still have not clarified what you meant by passion and affection. I do agree that love isn't all about sexual pleasure, which proves my point clearly. Love has such a deep and passionate meaning behind it, that it can only be shared between two people. Sexual intercourse is just an added pleasure to the already beautiful,romantic relationship.

2. I have already agreed with this premise in round 1. You did not need to restate it.

5. I agree with your definition of polygyny and polyandry. If we consider this scenario, in a culture where polygamy is accepted, it does not prove that the man with two wives loves both of them. thinly proves that he is confused as to which one to choose. So he is taking the easy way out, and keeping both of the women as his wives. We cannot define "strong feelings" as love. We have already defined love in premise 2. If the man has strong feelings for both of his wives, this does not prove that he loves both of them. In fact, it doesn't even prove that e loves either of them.

6. You have forgotten to clarify on this premise.

9. If an individual has such strong feelings for his/her partner as to imagining the American dream with him/her, then why would the individual leave that partner? A smart individual wouldn't. One who was in love wouldn't leave the partner or even let his/her partner leave. However, let's consider that a person with such strong feelings left his or her partner, but then why would that person jump into another relationship? It wouldn't make sense. If you have feelings for one person, that are so strong, then you cannot fall for another one. You wouldn't even notice anyone else in that way. If they have such strong feelings for their ex, then it is not possible for them to fall in love with their current boyfriend.

10. If you fall for someone for their traits, while you are in a relationship, then this would be considered infidelity. We can define infidelity as not being faithful to your romantic partner. If you are not faithful to your partner, then you never loved your partner at all. Well, it's also possible for you to cheat on your partner, and fall out of love with that partner. Whilst, you are falling in love with with your partner on the side.
Debate Round No. 2
gonzaleza74

Pro

1. I don't agree with your statement stating that affection is usually found in the love between a mother and a child. Because you can have affection towards another human being that's not your mother or your child. I stated what affection and passion meant in my last premises.

5. If we cannot define "strong feelings" as love, than what can we define it as ? Because strong feelings for another person isn't puppy love or just liking the person. Yes we did define love, as stating that love makes you care about someone else's well-being, but caring for that person is also consider a feeling. So in the scenario that you created, where the man with two wives what feeling does he have towards them ? I believe he does have strong feelings for them which means he is clearly in love with both of them that he couldn't make up his mind.

9. Nobody said that the individual left his/her partner. The partner left the individual, let's say because the partner didn't know what he wanted anymore. But, is still in love with the individual. The individual tried to do everything possible to be with that person, but nothing would work. So the individual had no choice, but to try and move on. The individual had some people that would make him/her feel special and that would catch his/her attention in many ways. However, as soon as things started getting serious, the individual would remove his/ her self from the situation because he/she can clearly see that they are not over there ex.

10. This would not be consider as infidelity. I don't necessarily agree with your definition of infidelity, because infidelity is cheating on your partner sexually, nobody said anything about the individual having intercourse with the person.
chowdhuryn7

Con

1. My point was that affection can be found in any relationship. I was not trying to say that affection is only found between a mother and a child. I was confused as to what you meant by affection. You gave examples for affection and passion. You did not give definitions for either of them.

5. It is true that love is composed of strong feelings. However, having strong feelings for someone is not the same thing as being in love with someone. You can have strong feeling for someone that you hate too. You can hate a person with a passion so strong that it would be considered having strong feelings for that person. So you cannot say strong feelings and mean romantical love. So having strong feelings is not being in love with someone.

9. If an individual can't start another relationship because theyre still in love with their ex partner, it proves that an individual can only be in love with one person at a time. If someone else makes that individual feel good, it would just be sexual pleasure. The individual would not be in love with the person they start getting involved with. Love doesn't exactly happen over night. It takes awhile for a couple to fall in love. Well, it usually takes awhile, maybe sometimes it doesn't. The time it takes doesn't exactly matter because either way the person can only be in love with one other person.

10. I would like to know how you want to define infedility. I see infedilty as being unfaitful to your wife. Being unfaithful to your wife would count as kissing other women, going on dates with other women, or having sex with other women. So are you saying that falling for another person is not cheating? Even if its not and we consider this okay, why would a man fall for another woman if he already loved his wife? He obviously doesn't love his wife anymore and so is looking elsewhere.
Debate Round No. 3
gonzaleza74

Pro

1. Love is to be infused with or feeling deep affection or passion for another human being. Passion is define as an intense emotion, desire, and love. Affection is define as a gentle feeling of fondness or liking.
2. Love makes you care about someone else well-being
3. To be in love you don't necessarily have to be in a relationship or have the title of it
4. I agreed with your premise
5. I agree with your premise
6. Relationship last longer when you have conjoint marriage
7. Women also have open marriages which are called polyandry so it's not only men. Polyandry is define as where women has multiple simultaneous husbands.
8. We don't choose who we love, it just happens
9. You can be in love with your current boyfriend, but also still be in love with your ex.
10. Falling in love with someone else that's not your partner because of their traits ( personality, etc.)

In premises 4&5 I came to agree with my opponent statements. I would like you point out that my opponent has contradicted herself in round 3 premise 9. So I'm sticking to my premises stating that you can still be in love with your ex. While being in love with your partner now. In premise 10 I'm still sticking with my premise because I do believe you can fall in love with an individual by their traits such as the way they look, his interest, goals, the way he reacts to certain situations,and the way he acts with you and only you. Hence, making that person more attractive to you. This would not be consider as infidelity. I can agree with your definition of infidelity, however nobody said anything about the individual having intercourse with the person. Thus, proving an individual can romantically love two people at the same time.
chowdhuryn7

Con

1. I agree with the definition of love. I also agree with the definition of passion and affection.
2. I also agree with that statement. I believe that if you love someone, you deeply care for them.
3. I agree with this statement. Love is a feeling that does not require any labels.
4. Animals are wired to have multiple sexual partners, not humans.
5. Being in love with someone means that you have strong feelings for that person. However, having strong feelings for someone is not the same thing as being in love with someone. If you have strong feelings for someone, these feeling could be feelings of hatred.
6. it is not true that relationships last longer when you have conjoint marriages. Maybe the marriage was never meant to work out in the first place.
7. I agree with this definition. Open marriages are not only for men, women can also have an open marriage. However, this doesn't prove that a woman is capable of being in love with both of her husbands.
8. I also agree with this premise. A person can fall in love anytime, anywhere, with anyone. They don't get to choose.
9. If you were in love with your ex, then you would have never begin a new relationship.
10. Infidelity can be defined as kissing, going on dates with, or having sex anyone else other than your partner.
11. If you fall for someone who is not your partner for their traits, then you are only in love with that person's traits and you are also being unfaithful to your partner.
12. Thus, it is impossible for one person to love two people at the same time.

I have added another premise, my own definition of infidelity in the premises. I would like to point out that my opponent never clarified her statement in premise 6. I still stand by my thesis that it is impossible for an individual to romantically love two people at the same time.
Debate Round No. 4
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