The Instigator
AmIRight
Con (against)
Winning
17 Points
The Contender
tmar19652
Pro (for)
Losing
4 Points

It's OK to have a fling while in a relationship and not tell your partner about it

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 6 votes the winner is...
AmIRight
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 2/18/2013 Category: Miscellaneous
Updated: 4 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 2,450 times Debate No: 30359
Debate Rounds (3)
Comments (2)
Votes (6)

 

AmIRight

Con

As a girl, it's hard for me to think of my partner cheating on me, but since trust is much more important to me than exclusivity, I'd rather that if he feels that he must or really wants to go with some other girl that he will talk to me about it before he does.

I probably won't be to happy about it, but it will be much harder for me to find it out myself after he had done it, than to know it's about to happen.

Besides, if my partner feels that he has to have a fling with someone else, it might be because there's something wrong between me and him, and if we'll talk about it, we might figure it out and not only avoid this fling, but also make things better between us.
tmar19652

Pro

You have the burden of proof, please present your arguments.
Debate Round No. 1
AmIRight

Con

My arguments:

1. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship. Therefore, Hiding magnificent things from your partner, such as having any kind of intimate relationships with someone else is disrespectful towards your partner, and has a bad influence on the relationships.

2. If one feels it has to have a fling aside from their relationship, it might mean that there is something wrong with the relationships. The right thing to do will be not to run away from it and try to satisfy your need someplace else, but try to work it out with your partner.

3. Say you have a great relationship, which you don't wont to give up, but still you feel an urge to go with someone else, hiding it from your partner is not the way to go. Talk to your partner about it before you do so, if your relationship is so great, your partner will understand you and will let you do what you feel you must do.
tmar19652

Pro

My opponent has made 3 un-sourced, unfounded arguments that are no more than assumptions stating that having a "fling" while in a relationship is wrong. However this does not fulfill their burden of proof, and therefore you should vote Pro, as con has not proved their case.
Debate Round No. 2
AmIRight

Con

In oppose to what my opponent claimed, I didn't say having a fling is wrong. I said it's wrong to do so behind your partner's back.
You can clearly sea it in my first and my third argument.
In my first argument I said that trust is more valuable in a serious relationship than exclusivity. Therefore, you may have a fling with someone else as long as you don't hide it from your partner. When your partner will find out you did something behind their back, not only they will be upset about you going with someone else, but also about the lying.
In my third argument I said that if you have a healthy relationship, and feel the need to have someone else on the side, than probably your partner will approve.

Of course cheating is bad, but having a fling is not necessarily cheating.
I would also like to add that the word CHEAT is referring to cheating on someone's trust and not to go with someone else while in a relationship. If you have a fling with someone while in a relationship, and your partner knows about it - it's not cheating.
tmar19652

Pro

Why is it wrong to do so behind your partners back, you can say it is immoral, but you need to justify your morality, not just "put it out there". My opponent makes the argument that having a fling behind your partners back is cheating, but you do not prove why cheating is wrong. You had the burden of proof to show that "cheating" is wrong, but you simply said it was wrong, which holds no clout. Therfore, you have not fuffilled your burden of proof, and I urge the voters to vote Pro!
Debate Round No. 3
2 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 2 records.
Posted by mananlak 4 years ago
mananlak
Pro didn't even provide an argument, just insult con's lack of sources.
Posted by wrichcirw 4 years ago
wrichcirw
This was a pretty simple debate to judge. CON's main point was that "trust is more valuable in a serious relationship than exclusivity." PRO did not contest this. This meets minimal BoP, as this was a minimal debate. It describes WHY the resolution should be negated.

Arguments to CON, S&G to PRO.
6 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 6 records.
Vote Placed by Billdekel 4 years ago
Billdekel
AmIRighttmar19652Tied
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Reasons for voting decision: Tmar just said the arguments were wrong. That's a contradiction not an argument.
Vote Placed by wrichcirw 4 years ago
wrichcirw
AmIRighttmar19652Tied
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Reasons for voting decision: see comments - I can't believe you took this as PRO, bro :D
Vote Placed by induced 4 years ago
induced
AmIRighttmar19652Tied
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Reasons for voting decision: CON gave good reasons against cheating and PRO didnt even deny them, let alone give convincing arguments against them. that is no way to have a constructive debate, so i gave conduct to CON as well
Vote Placed by 1Devilsadvocate 4 years ago
1Devilsadvocate
AmIRighttmar19652Tied
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Reasons for voting decision: I agree with pro, that in this case con had BOP. An action is Okay unless there is a reason given that it's not okay. Just because it's a given in society that something is wrong doesn't make that the starting position. It's OK, means that there is nothing wrong with it, until something is shown to be wrong with it, it remains OK. That's my thinking for now, but it's subject to change.
Vote Placed by x2MuzioPlayer 4 years ago
x2MuzioPlayer
AmIRighttmar19652Tied
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Reasons for voting decision: Pro claimed Con had the BoP, but made no warrants as to why that's true. If I accept Pro's statements that non-sourced and unfounded arguments should be rejected, I also have to reject Pro's standards on the BoP debate. Con should directly address the BoP debate because it clearly belongs to Pro. Even though Con doesn't really develop her arguments, Pro never developed on the BoP and used the BoP debate to try and negate the resolution. Since Con is the only one who actually said anything regarding the resolution, other than Pro questioning the wrongness of having a secret fling, I end up giving argument points to Con. I can elaborate in the comments section if anyone cares.
Vote Placed by The_Chaos_Heart 4 years ago
The_Chaos_Heart
AmIRighttmar19652Tied
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Reasons for voting decision: Uhh, Pro, YOU have the burden of proof here, not Con. Knocking you conduct for that. You also did not present any actual arguments for why the resolution should be fulfilled, whereas Con at least attempted to show why it should be negated. thus, you also fail on the arguments part. You did not meet your burden of proof, and attempted to foolishly shift it to your opponent. That is poor form.