The Instigator
chowdhuryn7
Pro (for)
Tied
0 Points
The Contender
eyonairy
Con (against)
Tied
0 Points

It's possible to romantically love more than one person at once

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 1/24/2015 Category: Philosophy
Updated: 2 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 328 times Debate No: 68882
Debate Rounds (4)
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chowdhuryn7

Pro

1. Love is defined as an intense feeling of deep affection.
2. A romantic relationship is built on love, devotion and attachment.
3. A person in a romantic relationship can be in love with their current partner and their former partner at the same time.
4. Marriage is a legal contract built on a spiritual bond.
5. Polygamy is the custom of having more than one wife or husband at the same time and it is accepted by many religions and cultures, including Islam.
6. In Islamic polygamy, a man is allowed to have multiple wives but must love and treat all of them equally.
7. Infidelity is defined as being unfaithful to one's romantic partner or spouse.
8. A married man can commit an act of infidelity but still be in love with his wife, and also fall in love with his mistress.
9. Dating occurs before a romantic relationship.
10. One person can have two dating partners and romantically love both of them.
11. It is possible for a girl to be in love with her childhood best friend and her boyfriend at the same time.
13. Therefore, it is possible to romantically love more than one person at the same time.

Non-Controversial Premises:

Premises: 1,2,5,6, and 7 are all non-controversial. Premises 1,2,5 and 7 are all definitions. Premise 6 is based on the Islamic religion and followed by Muslims and is only referring to Muslims.

Controversial Premises:

3. This premise is only a scenario and not necessarily the case in all romantic relationships.
4. Marriage is not always built on a spiritual bond, because in some cultures, marriages are arranged and the couple might not even know one another enough to have a spiritual bond.
8. This premise is also a scenario and not the case in all marriages or all affairs. It is also possible for the female to cheat on her spouse.
9. This premise is not true in all occasions. In some instances, two people might already know each other well enough to skip dating and directly get in a romantic relationship.
10. This is also a scenario and not the case in many dating partners. Especially because, sometimes the partners don"t know each other well enough to fall in love.
11. This is also a scenario and might be similar to premise 3.
eyonairy

Con

1. I agree with your definition of love.
3. I do not agree with this statement, because if you start a new relationship it means you have moved on and no longer love this person.
4. I agree with your statement.
5. I do not agree with this statement, just because it is accepted in certain religious means that it is okay.
6. The Islamic is not the only religion or culture that believes in polygamy. The way they treat there wives is not always equally.
8. I do not agree with this statement, because once a married man cheats on his wife it is because he has lost love and interest in her.
9. I agree with this statement.
10. I do not agree with this statement, because one person cannot split themselves to entertain two people at once.
11. I agree with this statement.
12. Therefore, I do not agree that one can be romantically in love with two people at the same time.

Non-Controversial Premises:
Premises 1,4,9,11 are non-controversial. Premises 1 and 4 are simple definitions describing the characteristics of what love can bring out on a certain person. Premise 9 is non-controversial because I order for a person to even seem attracted to another they would need to experience dating and be familiar with the persons personality. It is then that the person can decided if that is the type of person you will be willing to commit yourself to in a relationship. Premise 11is non-controversial because when a person is younger they are taught to befriend everyone and love them equally. This is where the phrase "Treat others as you would like to be treated" came from.

Controversial Premises:
3. A better way to explain yourself would be to say: you still have feelings of love for your ex-partner but you are no longer in love with your ex-partner because if you still love your ex-partner wouldn't your still be with them. Love is through thick or thin.
5. There is plenty of women in these marriages who are not in favor of being in a polygamist marriage. This could be because most of these marriages are arranged. Also, they usually teach their daughters to become independent usually by receiving an education in order to not have to be stuck living that lifestyle.
6. Different African cultures also believe in polygamy. Neither of these religions treat there wives equally. For example, if wife A bears a son but wives B and C do not then wife A will always be the favorite in hopes that she would be able to bear another son. These men favor their sons over their daughters because their sons are the ones who can carry the family and after marriage.
8. In the Roman Catholic Church, they base their moral perspective on the "10 Commandments". The seventh commandment clearly states "Thou shall not commit adultery". Depending on the religion is how the outsider who is looking into these types of relationship would end up giving a negative commentary towards them.
10. If you actually love more one person then you do not clearly understand what love is. Pretending to love more than one person at the same time is just a desire of wanting multiple lovers at the same time and trying to fill a fantasy of always being wanted. These people are usually the ones who have been traumatized as a younger person as to feeling abandoned. Also, having a threesome does not mean you are sharing your time with two people at once.
12. People often tend to confused sexually in love with romantically in love. Yes, sex is romantic but it is not enough to base a strong long-lasting relationship out of.

Questions:
2. What exactly is love? What exactly is devotion? Is devotion to your mother and devotion to your significant other the same things? Couldn't anyone get attached to their significant other if they are good-looking and/or financially stable?
7. What exactly defines infidelity? Is it a kiss, a secret dinner date, having sex with the person, watching porno, thinking of someone else while your having sex with a completely different person. Wouldn't you agree that committing infidelity you are no longer in love with the personality your first partner has therefore you no longer love them?
Debate Round No. 1
chowdhuryn7

Pro

2. The definition of love was defined in premise number 1, which you have agreed on. Devotion is a sort of commitment, whether it is commitment to a person or an idea. Devotion to your mother and devotion to your significant other are similar but different. Devotion to your significant other would be based on romantic love and devotion to your mother would be based on parent-child love. A person can get attracted to someone if that someone has good qualities, such as financial stability or looks. However, being attracted to someone and being attached to someone is not the same thing, Being attracted to someone means that their qualities draw you to them. However, being attached to someone means that you want to spend every minute with that person and you don't want to be away from each other.
3. Love is only through "thick and thin" in romantic love novels, not in real life. Sometimes even if you are in love with the person, you have to leave him/her for his/her benefit, or maybe for your own benefit. Maybe your partner cheated on you so you decided to leave your partner. You can still be in love with that partner, and at the same time meet someone else and fall in love again. It is possible to simultaneously be in love with your ex partner and your new partner.
5. This premise was not showing that polygamy is okay, the purpose of this premise is to show that it is possible. Polygamy is accepted by the men and women in the cultures where they follow it. This is a system of belief for them, it's a part of their society. The people in these cultures, including the women see this as a normal system. Polygamy is a consensual system, permission from the partner is necessary to start a new marriage. If there is no consent, it is not considered polygamy, it is considered cheating.
6. I have stated in premise 5 that there are many religions that believe in polygamy. Maybe in Islamic polygamy, some men don't treat their wives equally. However, according to the religion, they are supposed to treat their wives equally. It is a part of the religion that all wives must be treated equally, as in loved equally, by the husband. If the husband likes one of the wives more because she can bear children, it does not necessarily mean that the husband is in love with that wife. It means that he is using her just for the purpose of getting an heir.
7. Infidelity would be defined as being unfaithful to one's romantic partner. Being unfaithful can mean having sex with another person, a kiss, or a date. Watching porno is not considered cheating. No, I would not agree with that. You can still be in love with your first partner and then notice another person and be attracted to the third person. First, you and that third person might just be having fun, as in just sex, but then you start falling in love with the third person too. It does not mean that you love your first partner any less. It is possible for you to be in love with both of them simultaneously.
8. Not everyone is Roman Catholic and just because it is forbidden does not mean that it is not possible. Adultery might be immoral and it might be wrong, but it does not mean that it doesn't occur. Adultery happens all the time and it doesn't necessarily mean that that the person is unhappy and that is why they're cheating. It could just mean that the person wants more, or something different on the side. Maybe the person is a nymphomaniac, which can be defined as a person who is addicted to sex. As I stated on the previous explanation, the relation can start with just sex and turn into so much more.
10. Dating two people at the same time is not the same thing as a threesome. One person would not be entertaining two people at the same time, that person would just fall in love with both of them at the same time. Premise 10 only states that the person has two dating partners and loves both of them at the same time.
11. If you agree with this statement then you agree that one person can love two people romantically at the same time. Recall that I stated in premise 11 that the girl is in love with both her best friend and her boyfriend. In love meaning that she romantically loves both of them. It has nothing to do with childhood love or treating others equally. It has to do with romantic love, so if you agree with this statement then you agree that one person can romantically love two people at the same time.
eyonairy

Con

eyonairy forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 2
chowdhuryn7

Pro

chowdhuryn7 forfeited this round.
eyonairy

Con

eyonairy forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 3
chowdhuryn7

Pro

chowdhuryn7 forfeited this round.
eyonairy

Con

eyonairy forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 4
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