The Instigator
brian_eggleston
Pro (for)
Winning
19 Points
The Contender
Shadelol
Con (against)
Losing
0 Points

It's time to crackdown on ATM dilly-dancers

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 4 votes the winner is...
brian_eggleston
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 9/1/2010 Category: Society
Updated: 7 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 1,358 times Debate No: 12880
Debate Rounds (2)
Comments (2)
Votes (4)

 

brian_eggleston

Pro

We've all been there, haven't we? Stood behind some ignorant half-wit who doesn't care how long the people behind him have to wait to use the ATM just so long as they can conduct long-winded financial transactions while simultaneously continuing their inane conversation on their mobile phones. The selfish bastards.

Well, I don't know about you but that really makes my blood boil and I've had more than enough of it - I want to see these cashpoint cretins punished – and punished severely.

That's why I have written the following computer program to replace the existing programs installed in cash machines:

10 PRINT "WELCOME TO [N] BANK. PLEASE HAVE CONSIDERATION FOR OTHER CUSTOMERS BY NOT DILLY-DALLYING WHEN USING THIS CASH MACHINE. NOW, WHAT SERVICE DO YOU REQUIRE?"

20 IF "CASH" THEN PRINT "HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT?"

30 IF DELAY >10 SECONDS PRINT "COME ON, HURRY UP, PEOPLE ARE WAITING YOU KNOW"

30 IF FURTHER DELAY >10 SECONDS THEN PRINT "WHAT'S TAKING YOU SO LONG? ARE YOU SOME SORT OF MENTAL CASE?"

40 IF "YES" THEN PRINT "OKAY, FAIR ENOUGH, THAT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER 30 SECONDS, BUT IF YOU HAVE NOT COMPLETED YOUR TRANSACTION BY THEN WE ARE GOING TO RETAIN YOUR CARD"

50 IF "NO" THEN PRINT "WELL WE SUGGEST YOU GET A DAMN MOVE ON THEN BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T COMPLETE YOUR TRANSACTION WITHIN THE NEXT 30 SECONDS YOUR CARD WILL BE RETAINED AND YOU WILL BE INCAPACITATED IN ORDER TO MAKE WAY FOR THE NEXT CUSTOMER"

60 IF DELAY >30 SECONDS THEN RETAIN CARD AND ACTIVATE INBUILT TASER DEVICE

I believe that this simple program, together with the installation of an internal Taser devices in all "hole-in-the-walls" would prompt dawdling customers to stop dilly-dancing around and complete their transactions as quickly as possible.

This will mean that other customers, whose time may be very important, will not be stressed and can use the time they have saved to do something productive.

Thank you.
Shadelol

Con

Very interesting topic.
The world is full of selfish, idiotic peole, there's nothing we can do about it.
What about the idiots who cut in front of you while you're driving? The morons who ask for refunds on their wines because they didn't like the taste?
You suggest inserting a tazer device? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard, I actually laughed when I read it. Let's say, hypothetically, that someone DID install those devices, disregarding the fact that it's ILLEGAL, there would be so many complaints that the bank would be shut down and there would be absolute financial chaos. You're saying to taze anyone who decides to use the machine? What if it's some old fool with a heart condition? What if the person got tazed and died from it? The bank would have ALOT to answer for.
And I'm just saying, it's an extra minute from your life, does it really matter that much? Such drastic measures are completely unneccesary.
Debate Round No. 1
brian_eggleston

Pro

I would like to thank shadelol for accepting this debate and reply to his comments as follows:

A minute does matter. Indeed, the delay behind a dilly-dallier can be several minutes and if there are several dilly-dalliers in the queue then that delay can be multiplied and that delay can have serious consequences.

For example, consider the case of a British businessman travelling to Turkey: he must pay �10 in cash on arrival in order to obtain an entry visa.

http://www.turkishconsulate.org.uk...

Now, imagine he is airside at the airport and the gate is about to close and he only has minutes to spare to get the cash before boarding the plane but he finds himself behind a dilly-dallier at the ATM. Now, because of their ignorant, selfish behaviour in not concentrating on the job in hand, he misses his plane – there was no point boarding the aircraft as the Turkish border officials don't accept credit cards, just Sterling in cash. The result this is that he misses an important business meeting that costs his company millions of pounds and means dozens of workers lose their jobs.

Otherwise, imagine a man needs to get money out of the whole in the wall to pay for his train ticket to work but because of a dilly-dallier he misses his train. As a result of this, he is sacked which means he can no longer afford to pay his mortgage. The knock-on effect of this is that he and his wife and kids are thrown onto the streets and his wife is forced into prostitution so that they can afford to pay for food.

And all this because some dirty, ignorant Untermenschen on their mobile phones would rather chat about soap operas or gossip about celebrities or drivel on about what they had for dinner rather than get their cash out of the machine as quickly as possible.

By the way, those people who are daft enough to ignore the warnings and end up getting Tasered would not win a court case since they were duly advised in advance that to wilfully delay other customers would have serious consequences.

Therefore, for the sake of the economy, jobs and social coherence I urge a crackdown on ATM dilly-dalliers.

Thank you.
Shadelol

Con

Interesting response.
I have an idea! Let's imagine that you're a wealthy British businessman going to Turkey for a very important business meeting. You're waiting outside the boarding gate for a plane that would be ready to depart in about 1-2 hours. You're sitting there waiting, and you realize you need to pay the �10 in cash for your entry visa. You have the incredibly smart idea to wait until the last minute to withdraw money from the ATM before the plane leaves. God knows how you become a businessman.
The solution? Take into account the chance of there being a possible idiotic ATM dilly-dallyer and go to the ATM a minute earlier. Or an even better idea, withdraw �10 in the time 1-2 hours of waiting until your plane leaves. Then maybe your company won't lose millions of pounds, and your workers won't lose their jobs.
Generally, most people carry at least �10 in their wallets, but I don't know about you
And haven't you heard of social security?
And even tazering people was legal, it wouldn't matter whether or not it would go to court. It would cause an outrage by the media, the bank would get terrible publicity and lose money.
The thing is, the bank doesn't care, it's unfortunately just the general public. So the bank wouldn't bother to install the tazer devices, because ATM (Automatic Teller Machine) is an AUTOMATIC teller machine. And it's not like the dilly-dallyers cause the BANK to lose money, all they do is supposedly ruin multi million dollar companies because people apparently don't keep money in their wallets.
Thanks, Shadelol.
Debate Round No. 2
2 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 2 records.
Posted by innomen 7 years ago
innomen
Who uses cash now anyway?
Posted by lovelife 7 years ago
lovelife
Lol Brian your debates make me smile, and motivate me in a way.
4 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 4 records.
Vote Placed by I-am-a-panda 7 years ago
I-am-a-panda
brian_egglestonShadelolTied
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Vote Placed by ZKnecht 7 years ago
ZKnecht
brian_egglestonShadelolTied
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Vote Placed by lovelife 7 years ago
lovelife
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Vote Placed by LaissezFaire 7 years ago
LaissezFaire
brian_egglestonShadelolTied
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