The Instigator
brian_eggleston
Pro (for)
Losing
10 Points
The Contender
I-am-a-panda
Con (against)
Winning
21 Points

It's time to put pompous parents in their place

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 6/5/2009 Category: Society
Updated: 7 years ago Status: Voting Period
Viewed: 2,208 times Debate No: 8528
Debate Rounds (2)
Comments (12)
Votes (7)

 

brian_eggleston

Pro

One of the big issues being discussed at middle-class, 30-something house parties today is the matter of the combined MMR jab. (1)

There is a suggestion that this vaccination of children should be made compulsory. It is a suggestion that I happen to agree with and I said so at a dinner party last night. On hearing this, one of the guests (who I know has a couple of young children) turned round to me and asked in a very aggressive tone "Do you have kids?"

To which I replied "Well, no..."

But before I could continue he very rudely interrupted me and said "Right! Well you don't know what you are talking about then."

This is a phrase I hear time and again, and not just in relation to childcare issues. Recently, some friends and I were discussing the role gravity plays in sub-atomic particle physics and I suggested that, being a relatively weak force, gravity's influence on the interaction of nuclei, protons and electrons was so slight as to be considered insignificant.

At this point a yummy mummy piped up and told me that her young Timmy had to be rushed to hospital after having an accident at an adventure playground.

"Gravity 'a weak force'?" she scoffed, "If your son fell off a climbing frame and cracked his head open you wouldn't think so. But of course, you don't have kids so you don't know what you're talking about."

Was she right or was she being pompous? I think the latter which is why, if I am curious about scientific matters, I tend not not approach mental retards such as Karen Matthews (2) for their expert opinion.

But perhaps I should. After all, by the yummy mummy's reasoning, being childless* I am must be a blithering idiot. On the other hand Karen Matthews, with an IQ of 74 and the mother of seven children by six different fathers, must a be a veritable fountain of knowledge.

However, I think not. In conclusion, being a parent doesn't make that person in any way intellectually superior to those individuals who decide to delay having kids until they are older.

Thank you.

(1) http://newsforums.bbc.co.uk...

(2) http://www.timesonline.co.uk...

* Don't worry ladies, it's by choice and only until I meet the right girl!
I-am-a-panda

Con

I'd like to thank Brian for this fantastic debate topic. Let's go.

Firstly, the only proof you have ever had sex is a child, miscarriage, or an abortion. Because Mr.Eggleston has so far given no evidence of these, I will take him as a sexless, childless man. Now let's compare him with Katrina, a 40 year old who had 5 abortions in her late teens/Early 20's, 3 children, a miscarriage and 2 more children. She has had an abundance of sex.

Now, Sex means you have interacted with someone and shared ideas and thoughts, fortifying your bank of knowledge. Also, to have this many children, a high class of, um, love juice is required. Intelligent man have a high class of love juice [1]. This means Katrina here is a knowledgeable female, despite having grown up in inner city Birmingham.

Now, Mr.Eggleston on the other hand has probably had numerous "interactions" with his hand, which is made of inanimate bones, thick flesh and unintelligent skin. He has not had human interaction via sex to fortify his knowledge.

Of course, children are themselves little quiz masters, asking every question under the sky. This leads parents to hit their children and be locked away, or to check wikipedia for the answer. This gives them an extra edge childless people don't have, as they prefer to frequent X rated websites rather Wikipedia.

On an equal playing field, these 2 advantages give a parent the edge over a non-reproductive childless person. Of course, in cases of people such as Karen Matthews, she is a blithering idiot without the children. Nothing can be done to help wasters such as her.

Let's take Hitler as an example. As an unattractive, childless male, he made stupid military mistakes, that killed millions of people. Not very smart. Let's take Genghis Khan as an example of a smart person. He had 4 confirmed sons, along with countless others by other wives, along with 3 confirmed and multiple unrecorded daughters [2]. Genghis Khan also conquered and founded one of the largest empires in history.

So, it is quite feasible parents (besides helpless wasters) can be smarter than childless people.

I apologize in advance if this was not humorous.

[1] = http://news.bbc.co.uk...
[2] = http://en.wikipedia.org...
Debate Round No. 1
brian_eggleston

Pro

Many thanks to Panda for yet another hilarious response. I should like to reply to each of his arguments in turn as follows:

"Firstly, the only proof you have ever had sex is a child, miscarriage, or an abortion. Because Mr.Eggleston has so far given no evidence of these, I will take him as a sexless, childless man."

Being a male of our species I can confirm that I have not given birth or had a miscarriage. Neither have I had an abortion, though I have done the decent thing and paid for them in the past. By the way, should my opponent find himself in a similar position, I would be happy to recommend a rather superior private clinic in Kingston-upon-Thames which offers a very quick and discreet service, albeit at a price of course.

"Now let's compare him with Katrina, a 40 year old who had 5 abortions in her late teens/Early 20's, 3 children, a miscarriage and 2 more children. She has had an abundance of sex."

This Katrina woman sounds like a right slapper to me - she must have a vagina like a wizard's sleeve by now. Still, beggars can't be choosers and I'd be most grateful if my opponent would give me her phone number.

"Now, Sex means you have interacted with someone and shared ideas and thoughts..."

No it doesn't. It really doesn't. Say you are in a nightclub and the lights are about to go up and you still haven't pulled. What do you do? You go on the dash for g-sh, don't you?. At that time of night though, all you are likely to find are fat old munters, but on the plus side, they will probably be all tanked up on tart fuel and as desperate for a bunk-up as you are. Whatever, there will be no question of exchanging pleasantries or engaging in any intellectual conversation - the music will be too loud for that anyway. No, this is all about lust and it will only be sex that you both have on your minds as you lead her by the hand into the gents' toilets.

"Also, to have this many children, a high class of, um, love juice is required. Intelligent man have a high class of love juice [1]. This means Katrina here is a knowledgeable female, despite having grown up in inner city Birmingham."

Whilst the healthy physical properties of the Harry Monk that Katrina's sexual partners donated to her in order to create her babies, miscarriages and abortions cannot be doubted, we must assume that she has had sex more than the ten times detailed hereinabove and, therefore, conclude that the filthy yogurt that she received courtesy her other lovers was of inferior quality, which in turn means we are must question her overall judgement in this matter.

"Now, Mr.Eggleston on the other hand has probably had numerous "interactions" with his hand, which is made of inanimate bones, thick flesh and unintelligent skin. He has not had human interaction via sex to fortify his knowledge."

Well, this may or may not be true (it's not true) but in order to procure the highest quality educational DVDs one must make the journey to Germany. Of course, the soundtracks on these art films are in German and as a consequence Ich bin auf Deutsch ganz flie´┐Żend, that is to say, viewing Teutonic scud movies has improved my knowledge of a foreign language.

"Of course, children are themselves little quiz masters, asking every question under the sky. This leads parents to hit their children and be locked away, or to check Wikipedia for the answer. This gives them an extra edge childless people don't have, as they prefer to frequent X rated websites rather Wikipedia."

True, children are inquisitive but in many cases parents will tell them to look the answers up on Wikipedia themselves while they watch TV downstairs. By the way, I Googled "X rated websites" and discovered there's porn on the Internet! Why didn't anybody tell me earlier? That would have saved me a fortune on air fares to Germany.

"Of course, in cases of people such as Karen Matthews, she is a blithering idiot without the children. Nothing can be done to help wasters such as her..."

Agreed, Karen Mathews is a waster but what about Gerry and Kate McCann? (1)They are both doctors but they still thought it was okay to leave their three children on their own while they went off to get drunk when they were on holiday. As it happens, they were fortunate on that occasion and only one of their kids was abducted, but will they be so lucky next time?

In conclusion, my argument stands - being a parent doesn't entitle you to look down your nose at someone without kids.

Cheers!

(1) http://www.oprah.com...
I-am-a-panda

Con

I would like to thank Brian for his sublime and satirical argument, and this superb debate.

I will now tackle his argument and attempt not to go into a fit of laughter.

"Being a male of our species I can confirm that I have not given birth or had a miscarriage. Neither have I had an abortion, though I have done the decent thing and paid for them in the past. By the way, should my opponent find himself in a similar position, I would be happy to recommend a rather superior private clinic in Kingston-upon-Thames which offers a very quick and discreet service, albeit at a price of course."

>>> Of course, I was referring to females in terms of miscarriages and abortions. Miscarriages work for men as when they find out their bird is pregnant, they run 1000 miles in the opposite direction, or stick around, making it clear who's kid it is. As for an abortion, it may be for a mate you are infatuated with, or your sister, or maybe your mother if you don't want a sibling to steal your attention by knocking your mother out with a frying pan and putting her on a ship to England to be aborted. (Not that I did that when I was 8.....). A child can be verified with DNA and other fancy tests. As Brian's bird has not had a miscarriage, and he si childless, and the abortion could have been for his unconscious mother, he is indeed undepucelated.

I also thank my opponent for the pro-tip in regards to the abortion clinic. At my rate, I may need it in the near future.

"This Katrina woman sounds like a right slapper to me - she must have a vagina like a wizard's sleeve by now. Still, beggars can't be choosers and I'd be most grateful if my opponent would give me her phone number."

>>> Katrina is a right slapper, and has a Vagina like a wizard sleeve. She uses this to her advantage however. They keep ancient scrolls in mint condition in her schniz. The mix of fluids and the temperature makes it perfect storage. Unfortunatley, Katrina has no phone number, however, simply head into Birmingham and ask for the 'Rainbow Cat' and you'll be pointed to a street corner not far away. She materialises when her name is said. This is a result of her knowledge, obviously. Like your abortion clinic, she offers a very quick and discreet service, but without an overburdened price.

"No it doesn't. It really doesn't. Say you are in a nightclub and the lights are about to go up and you still haven't pulled. What do you do? You go on the dash for g-sh, don't you?. At that time of night though, all you are likely to find are fat old munters, but on the plus side, they will probably be all tanked up on tart fuel and as desperate for a bunk-up as you are. Whatever, there will be no question of exchanging pleasantries or engaging in any intellectual conversation - the music will be too loud for that anyway. No, this is all about lust and it will only be sex that you both have on your minds as you lead her by the hand into the gents' toilets."

>>>Quite a valid point my dear friend, however, most people prefer to have sex under a quilt. The term pillow talk comes into play here. It is the revealing of secrets (A form of knowledge) before, during and even after sex. This does happen in all participating beds, back-alleys, cars, barnyards, sheds, floors, school desks, offices, toilets (besides the ones where certain gaps/holes are utilised), after parties, beaches, stairways, elevators and any other place where sex occurs. Pillow talk is indeed a loose term. An army soldier can reveal how he blew 2 Iraqi's livers to shreds and then burst a suicide bombers head like a watermelon. This is a rough teaching of the anatomy. As you can see, pillow talk = Knowledge.

"Whilst the healthy physical properties of the Harry Monk that Katrina's sexual partners donated to her in order to create her babies, miscarriages and abortions cannot be doubted, we must assume that she has had sex more than the ten times detailed hereinabove and, therefore, conclude that the filthy yogurt that she received courtesy her other lovers was of inferior quality, which in turn means we are must question her overall judgement in this matter."

>>>Whilst I would question the quality of stale milk in the miscarriages, Katrina's abortions was in her wild party years as a teen where she could not support a child. Katrina's older son, Jack, is 15 and got a B in art, and already has 2 birds. This is a sure sign of a super-human made of a high quality Yop.

"Well, this may or may not be true (it's not true) but in order to procure the highest quality educational DVDs one must make the journey to Germany. Of course, the soundtracks on these art films are in German and as a consequence Ich bin auf Deutsch ganz flie´┐Żend, that is to say, viewing Teutonic scud movies has improved my knowledge of a foreign language."

>>>Whilst you may learn German by watching foreign movies of questionable content, it baffles me why you weren't lost in thought of the bird in hand. Whilst doing the Lonely Soldier, it is regular procedure to forego a euphoric state of pleasure. And, most of the movie was probably 'Ja, ja, ja, ja!'

"True, children are inquisitive but in many cases parents will tell them to look the answers up on Wikipedia themselves while they watch TV downstairs. By the way, I Googled "X rated websites" and discovered there's porn on the Internet! Why didn't anybody tell me earlier? That would have saved me a fortune on air fares to Germany."

>>>Small children cannot use a computer properly, and it ends up being a pain to supervise them type one word every 10 seconds, or watch TV until they get their head caught in the CD drive or break their head of the keyboard. The cost of repairing either of those wouldn't be cheap! Therefore, it is a logical choice for the parent to get the information themselves, whilst their infant farts on the new baby.

"Agreed, Karen Mathews is a waster but what about Gerry and Kate McCann? (1)They are both doctors but they still thought it was okay to leave their three children on their own while they went off to get drunk when they were on holiday. As it happens, they were fortunate on that occasion and only one of their kids was abducted, but will they be so lucky next time?"

>>>Agreed, the McCanns did something stupid, but I have seen that trend with Doctors. Whilst they are academically smart, they are often thick otherwise. As an example, I am friends with my Doctor's son. He gave me a lift home on day. He was drunk AND was talking on his phone. Doctors aren't the beacon for society. Washed up middle aged comedians and young debaters are, however.

Further evidence is Harold Shipman, a Doctor who was thick enough to kill people and not bury the bodies in the countryside like a decent Jekyll Hyde Serial Killer Gentleman. Liek I said, academically smart, socially thick. [1]

"being a parent doesn't entitle you to look down your nose at someone without kids."

>>>To argue this point in a literal sense, parents are often stuffy people with big noses. They cannot help but look down their huge noses and the small/flat/puffy noses of childless people.

So to conclude, childless people need to be put in their place by the heavily educated parents.

Anyway, I enjoyed the debate. Thanks!

[1] = http://en.wikipedia.org...
Debate Round No. 2
12 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by Charlie_Danger 7 years ago
Charlie_Danger
Great debate, in terms of entertainment.

Kudos to both of you, this is one of the few debates that I could read ALL of what you had down. And I lmfao in the meantime as well.
Posted by I-am-a-panda 7 years ago
I-am-a-panda
Back at you Brian. I think this could be the start of a beautiful friendship.
Posted by brian_eggleston 7 years ago
brian_eggleston
Thanks Panda, nice one as ususal!
Posted by I-am-a-panda 7 years ago
I-am-a-panda
It 'tis, 'tisn't it?
Posted by LB628 7 years ago
LB628
This is a beautiful thing.
Posted by I-am-a-panda 7 years ago
I-am-a-panda
Approximately 2% of ALL people share a common gene thought to be from Genghis Khan.
Posted by purplehaze 7 years ago
purplehaze
for
Posted by purplehaze 7 years ago
purplehaze
A childless person would not ever be able to achieve such a thing since they didnt have condoms or the pill. Nothing beats a bit of rape...........1 point fot the parents.
Posted by purplehaze 7 years ago
purplehaze
60% of asians share a common gene that scientists think came from Genghis Khan after alll the raping and pillaging he did. Dont quote me on that now......just something that was in the back of my head.
Posted by I-am-a-panda 7 years ago
I-am-a-panda
I used humour here too: http://www.debate.org...
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LB628
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