The Instigator
jakamadillo7
Pro (for)
Losing
3 Points
The Contender
johnlubba
Con (against)
Winning
7 Points

Joke Contest

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 3 votes the winner is...
johnlubba
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 12/6/2012 Category: Entertainment
Updated: 4 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 978 times Debate No: 27895
Debate Rounds (3)
Comments (8)
Votes (3)

 

jakamadillo7

Pro

It is pretty self explanitory. Make a funny joke whoever has the funniest wins decided by votes. It's open to anyone. Cursing and trolling are perfectly fine.
johnlubba

Con

I accept the challenge and look forward to your jokes.

Many thanks.
Debate Round No. 1
jakamadillo7

Pro

Three men are trapped on a tropical island. They soon get captured by one of the local tribes. The tribe leader tells the three men to go around the island, while guarded, to find ten of the same fruit on the island then come back. After awhile the first man returned with coconuts, the tribe leader told him to shove all ten coconuts up his as$ and if he can't they would kill him. He regrettably began but only made it to three, so they indeed killed him. After awhile longer, the second man approaches with some tropical berries. The tribe leader told him the same thing he said to the first. So the man quickly began. The second man got to nine, then he laughed and all the berries came out so they killed him. Up in heaven the first man asked the second "You were almost there, why did you laugh?" to get the reply by the second man "I know I was almost there, but I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."
johnlubba

Con

Very good.

Bloke sees an advert in a pet shop

"Talking centipede "5000,

He buys it, takes it home in a small box, after 30 Min's, He opens the box and says " would you like to go for a pint". The centipede doesn't answer. Raising his voice he repeats the question, still no reply. Getting angry, thinking he's been done, he shouts the question out loudly. At which the centipede sticks his head out the box, and says " I heard you the first time you sap, I'm just putting my bloody shoes on".
Debate Round No. 2
jakamadillo7

Pro

jakamadillo7 forfeited this round.
johnlubba

Con

My opponent has forfeited his last round due to being unable to reach a computer, So I have offered him the opportunity to post his joke in my round, VIA copy and paste. So the next Joke is my opponents joke that I have copied and pasted from the comments box below.

My joke will follow my opponents joke.

jakamadillo7
There once was a very rich king with a beautiful daughter, who was kind of a slut. So one day he decided to put glitter on her pussie. The next day he got her three severents together and told them to drop their pants the first man had glitter on his c0ck so the king had him him killed. The second man had glitter on his fingers. So the king also had him killed. But the third man, the third man had no visable glitter. So the king said smiling "you may marry my daughter." The third man smiled back to the king. The king then commented on his dental care saying his teeth glittered in the sun.

....................

A dog walks into a butcher shop with a purse strapped around his
neck. He walks up to the meat case and calmly sits there until it's
his turn to be waited on.

A man, who was already in the butcher shop, finished his purchase
and noticed the dog. The butcher leaned over the counter and asked
the dog what it wanted today.

The dog put its paw on the glass case in front of the ground beef,
and the butcher said, "How many pounds?" The dog barked twice, so the
butcher made a package of two pounds ground beef. He then said,
"Anything else?" The dog pointed to the pork chops, and the butcher
said, "How many?" The dog barked four times, and the butcher made up
a package of four pork chops.

The dog walked around behind the counter, so the butcher could get
at the purse and take out the appropriate amount of money before
tying the two packages of meat around the dog's neck.

The man, who had been watching all of this, decided to follow the
dog. The dog walked for several blocks and then walked up to a house
where it began to scratch the door to be let in.

As the owner opened the door, the man called to the owner, "That's a
really smart dog you have there."

"He's not really all that smart," the owner replied.

"This is the second time this week he forgot his key.
Debate Round No. 3
8 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 8 records.
Posted by jakamadillo7 4 years ago
jakamadillo7
Now what did you say about me winning?
Posted by jakamadillo7 4 years ago
jakamadillo7
There once was a very rich king with a beautiful daughter, who was kind of a slut. So one day he decided to put glitter on her pussie. The next day he got her three severents together and told them to drop their pants the first man had glitter on his c0ck so the king had him him killed. The second man had glitter on his fingers. So the king also had him killed. But the third man, the third man had no visable glitter. So the king said smiling "you may marry my daughter." The third man smiled back to the king. The king then commented on his dental care saying his teeth glittered in the sun.

I typed all this in then posted it. On imabench's debate haha oops.
Posted by johnlubba 4 years ago
johnlubba
No worries Dude, why not post your joke in the comments, and Ill post it in my round on your behalf. and I will ask the audience to make a concession for you, and to vote for the best joke.

What do you think?
Posted by jakamadillo7 4 years ago
jakamadillo7
sh1t sorry i had no internet over the weekend
Posted by jakamadillo7 4 years ago
jakamadillo7
sh1t sorry i had no internet over the weekend
Posted by Heineken 4 years ago
Heineken
Pro is gonna win every point. I can already tell.
Posted by TheBoss 4 years ago
TheBoss
So far pro had a better one.
Posted by This_Guys_a_Jackass 4 years ago
This_Guys_a_Jackass
ha
3 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 3 records.
Vote Placed by lannan13 4 years ago
lannan13
jakamadillo7johnlubbaTied
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Total points awarded:30 
Reasons for voting decision: Pro was more funny
Vote Placed by drafterman 4 years ago
drafterman
jakamadillo7johnlubbaTied
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Total points awarded:03 
Reasons for voting decision: FF (though if I find the FF amusing, does that mean they get those points anyway?)
Vote Placed by Chicken 4 years ago
Chicken
jakamadillo7johnlubbaTied
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Total points awarded:04 
Reasons for voting decision: FF