The Instigator
Loveshismom
Pro (for)
Tied
0 Points
The Contender
9spaceking
Con (against)
Tied
0 Points

Joke Contest

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 3/7/2014 Category: Funny
Updated: 2 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 578 times Debate No: 48592
Debate Rounds (5)
Comments (3)
Votes (0)

 

Loveshismom

Pro

Five jokes per round. All categories and themes allowed. Please no cussing, sexism, racism, religion jokes or anything to do with sex. Knock knock jokes must be completed in each round.

How did the cheater win a staring contest? He took stare-oids.

What do you call a girl who likes to gamble? Betty.

What gets a lot of exercise and you wear it? Pants.

Knock knock. Who's there? The door. The door who? The door's locked. That's why I'm knocking.
9spaceking

Con

I accept the challenge. Let's start you off easy.
Yo mamma so fat when she go on an elevator, it HAS to go down.

Why didn't George Washington's father punish him for chopping down the cherry tree? Because he was still holding the axe in his hand.
open
Who is the president of the monkeys? Abe Lincoln.

Why didn't the T-rex cross the road? It didn't want to be mistaken for a chicken.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Wood. Wood who? Would you open the door please?
Debate Round No. 1
Loveshismom

Pro

Yo mama is so stupid, she couldn't even get a college degree for being an idiot.

What's round, bounces around and laughed a lot? A goofball.

What do you call a crazy bat that rings doorbells? A dingbat.

Where do princesses have the most fun? The ball.

What do you call a pop singer who sings like a girl? Justin Bieber.
9spaceking

Con

Your jokes seem to be better! I'd better shut you down with some...
CHUCK NORRIS JOKES
Chuck Norris can make onions cry.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

while sponge bob lives in a pineapple under the sea, Chuck Norris lives on the pineapple.

The reason why Waldo is hiding is because of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Debate Round No. 2
Loveshismom

Pro

I am going to fight fire with fire.

The Grinch is so unhappy because he lived a really fancy life, and then Chuck Norris destroyed his house and stole all his money.

Santa is so fat because Chuck Norris is always hogtying him and stuffing pizza into his mouth.

What's shaking? Crime itself when Chuck Norris is around.

Chuck Norris makes lynxes bark like dogs.

Chuck Norris makes Superman look like an amateur.
9spaceking

Con

my my my, your jokes are getting better and better!
Better get the Joke book.
Jokes so bad they're good:
A magician is walking down the street and then he turns into a grocery store.

Why did the girls ice cream melt?
Because she was on fire.

What do you call a bear without teeth?
A gummy bear.

What do you call a guy with no nose and no body?
Nobody knows!

Why did the tomato turn red?
He saw the salad dressing.
Debate Round No. 3
Loveshismom

Pro

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dwayne.
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the bathtub I'm dwowning!

How do crazy people get through a forest?
They take the psycho-path!

How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?
Tentacles!

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No you're a poo!

What did the teacher do with the student's cheese report?
She "grated" it!
9spaceking

Con

Oh my! Your jokes are getting funnier and funnier! Only one thing to do: Funny quotes!!
"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."--Steve Martin

"My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them."--Mitch Hedberg

"Weather forecast for tonight: dark."--George Carlin

"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." --Mark Twain

BONUS: QUOTE WITH PICTURE BESIDE IT: http://i1.wp.com...
Debate Round No. 4
Loveshismom

Pro

Those quotes are funny, but they are not technically jokes. This is a joke contest, not a funny quote contest. They are not the same thing. Now for my jokes.

There really are aliens. They are just waiting for Chuck Norris to die.

The boogey man checks his closet every night for Chuck Norris.

Yo mama is so stupid that instead of sitting around the house, she sits ON the house.

Why is the ocean blue? Because the fish go "blu blu blu"

Knock knock. Who's there? Flat door. Flat door who? I fell over.
9spaceking

Con

Well I was saving up for my final ULTIMATE jokes, the deadliest ones I have!!!
Be ready to get beaten in the Joke Contest, my opponent, because here goes nothing...

MY "FAVORITE JOKE ON A MILK CARTON":
What did one math book say to the other?
"Boy, do I have problems."

BEST "YO MAMMA":
Yo mamma so stupid she's sitting on the TV, watching the couch.

MY FAVORITE JOKE:
What did the scarf say to the hat?
"You go on ahead, I'll just hang around."

"THE FUNNIEST GAG EVER TOLD":
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: 'Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: 'The driver just insulted me!' The man says: 'You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.'

I don't have the room for...THE WORLD'S FUNNIEST JOKE, so here is the website:
https://en.wikipedia.org...'s_funniest_joke

There's no way he can top that.
Vote Con.
Debate Round No. 5
3 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 3 records.
Posted by 9spaceking 2 years ago
9spaceking
ugh, it doesn't work. Just search for it in wikipedia.
Posted by 9spaceking 2 years ago
9spaceking
The link to world's funniest joke is here:
https://en.wikipedia.org...'s_funniest_joke
Posted by 9spaceking 2 years ago
9spaceking
I meant APE lincoln!! (first round joke)
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