Debate Rounds (5)
How did the cheater win a staring contest? He took stare-oids.
What do you call a girl who likes to gamble? Betty.
What gets a lot of exercise and you wear it? Pants.
Knock knock. Who's there? The door. The door who? The door's locked. That's why I'm knocking.
Yo mamma so fat when she go on an elevator, it HAS to go down.
Why didn't George Washington's father punish him for chopping down the cherry tree? Because he was still holding the axe in his hand.
Who is the president of the monkeys? Abe Lincoln.
Why didn't the T-rex cross the road? It didn't want to be mistaken for a chicken.
Knock Knock. Who's there? Wood. Wood who? Would you open the door please?
What's round, bounces around and laughed a lot? A goofball.
What do you call a crazy bat that rings doorbells? A dingbat.
Where do princesses have the most fun? The ball.
What do you call a pop singer who sings like a girl? Justin Bieber.
CHUCK NORRIS JOKES
Chuck Norris can make onions cry.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
while sponge bob lives in a pineapple under the sea, Chuck Norris lives on the pineapple.
The reason why Waldo is hiding is because of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
The Grinch is so unhappy because he lived a really fancy life, and then Chuck Norris destroyed his house and stole all his money.
Santa is so fat because Chuck Norris is always hogtying him and stuffing pizza into his mouth.
What's shaking? Crime itself when Chuck Norris is around.
Chuck Norris makes lynxes bark like dogs.
Chuck Norris makes Superman look like an amateur.
Better get the Joke book.
Jokes so bad they're good:
A magician is walking down the street and then he turns into a grocery store.
Why did the girls ice cream melt?
Because she was on fire.
What do you call a bear without teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do you call a guy with no nose and no body?
Why did the tomato turn red?
He saw the salad dressing.
Dwayne the bathtub I'm dwowning!
How do crazy people get through a forest?
They take the psycho-path!
How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?
No you're a poo!
What did the teacher do with the student's cheese report?
She "grated" it!
"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."--Steve Martin
"My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them."--Mitch Hedberg
"Weather forecast for tonight: dark."--George Carlin
"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." --Mark Twain
BONUS: QUOTE WITH PICTURE BESIDE IT: http://i1.wp.com...
There really are aliens. They are just waiting for Chuck Norris to die.
The boogey man checks his closet every night for Chuck Norris.
Yo mama is so stupid that instead of sitting around the house, she sits ON the house.
Why is the ocean blue? Because the fish go "blu blu blu"
Knock knock. Who's there? Flat door. Flat door who? I fell over.
Be ready to get beaten in the Joke Contest, my opponent, because here goes nothing...
MY "FAVORITE JOKE ON A MILK CARTON":
What did one math book say to the other?
"Boy, do I have problems."
BEST "YO MAMMA":
Yo mamma so stupid she's sitting on the TV, watching the couch.
MY FAVORITE JOKE:
What did the scarf say to the hat?
"You go on ahead, I'll just hang around."
"THE FUNNIEST GAG EVER TOLD":
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: 'Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: 'The driver just insulted me!' The man says: 'You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.'
I don't have the room for...THE WORLD'S FUNNIEST JOKE, so here is the website:
There's no way he can top that.
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