The Instigator
Braden126
Pro (for)
Winning
21 Points
The Contender
DanT
Con (against)
Losing
18 Points

Joke War

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 11 votes the winner is...
Braden126
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 10/1/2011 Category: Miscellaneous
Updated: 6 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 1,984 times Debate No: 18578
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (1)
Votes (11)

 

Braden126

Pro

First round Is acceptance. Then we shall give three of our best jokes and let the voters decide who has the best jokes! Good luck!
Debate Round No. 1
Braden126

Pro

Teacher: Good morning class I have a couple of riddles to start off this morning. I have something here that's round
red and good to eat?
Sarah: an apple?
Teacher: No it's a tomato but you're thinking.
Teacher: I have something here that's yellow and odd shaped and good to eat?
Michael: A banana?
Teacher: No it's a pear but you're thinking.
Little Johnny: Teacher, I have a riddle.
Teacher: Okay Johnny tell us your riddle.
Little Johnny: I have something in my pocket that's round, hard and has a head on it?
Teacher: Johnny, you go see the principal right this instant.
Little Johnny: It's a nail, but you're thinking.
DanT

Con

The People vs Santa Clause aka St. Nicholas


Prosecutor: Let me get this straight, you see them when they are sleeping, you know when they are awake, you know if they been bad or good, so they better be good for goodness sake?

Santa: That's right.

Prosecutor: Or what? What would you do Santa?! What would you do?!

Santa: Krampus will come and whip them with birch. But the good boys and girls get toys.

Prosecutor: How do you deliver these toys?

Santa: Through the Chimney with care.

Prosecutor: So you broke an entry. Do you have any aliases?

Santa: St. Nicholas

Prosecutor: several witnesses claim they heard you yell, "ho ho ho" after leaving a house that you broke into. Why did you yell this?

Santa: I was laughing.

Prosecutor: Really? What is St. Nicolas the Patron Saint of?

Santa: repentant thieves, pawnbrokers, and prostitutes.

Prosecutor: The prosecution rests.










Debate Round No. 2
Braden126

Pro

One day a woman comes home from work to find that her bird is laying stiff and motionless on the bottom of its bird cage. She picks it up, wrapes it in a towel and rushes to the vet. When she arrives she asks the vet "Is my bird ok? Is he still alive?" The doctor responds "I'm not entireley sure. Follow me we can do a few tests. They walk down the hallway to a small room. The vet walks out and leaves the lady with the bird in her hands. The doctor returns with a cat. The cat walks over to the bird. Sniffs it, looks at it, and walks away. The vet leaves again and this time returns with a dog. The dog walks over to the bird. Sniffs it, looks at it, and walks away. The doctor looks at the woman and says "I'm sorry m'am your bird is dead" As the woman is walking out of the vets office the lady at the front counter stops her. "Im sorry ma'm you can't leave just yet, here is your bill" she says. The lady hands her a bill for $800. The woman gasps. "$800? What for"? The woman at the desk responds "For the cat scan and the black lab test".
DanT

Con


A man goes into a funeral home to make arrangements for his wife's funeral. He tells the director that he wants his wife to be buried in a forest green dress. He asks, "Wouldn't it just be easier to bury her in the dark purple dress that she's already wearing?" But he insists that it must be her favoite color which is forest green and gives him a blank check to buy one. When the man comes back for the wake, he sees his wife in the coffin and she is wearing a beautiful forest green dress. He tells the director that she looks amazing and asks how much it cost. He says, "Actually, it didn't cost a dime. The funniest thing happened. As soon as you left, another corpse was brought in, this one wearing a forest green dress. I noticed that they were about the same size, and asked her husband if he would mind if his wife were to be buried in a purple dress. He said that it was fine with him. So... I just switched the heads."

Debate Round No. 3
Braden126

Pro

As a blonde crawls out of her wrecked car, the local sheriff asks her what happened.

The blonde began, "It was the strangest thing! I looked up and saw a tree, so I swerved to the right. Then I saw another tree, so I swerved to left. Then there was another tree, and another and another ..."

The sheriff thought for a minute and then said, "Mam ... I don't know how to tell you this, but the only thing even resembling a tree on this road for thirty miles is your air freshener."
DanT

Con

The Geography teacher was asking students to name the capitals of each state. The Class consited of 10 Brunetts 2 Redheads, and a Blonde named Sue.

The Teacher asked, "What is the capital of New Hampshire?" Everyone in the class raised their hand, except for the Blonde.

The teacher said, "Sue what is the capital of New Hampshire?"

Sue replied, "Can I use my book?"

The teacher said, "Fine, so long as you learn it, there is a map on page 65 with the capitals"

The blonde open the page to 65.

The teacher asked again, "So sue what is the capital of New Hampshire?"

The blonde replied, "Is it NH?"

Debate Round No. 4
1 comment has been posted on this debate.
Posted by Kinesis 6 years ago
Kinesis
Con's joke in round 3 was BRUTAL.
11 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Vote Placed by BlackVoid 6 years ago
BlackVoid
Braden126DanTTied
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Total points awarded:30 
Reasons for voting decision: Loved Pro's round 1. The Cat scan was good too.
Vote Placed by eltigrey 6 years ago
eltigrey
Braden126DanTTied
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Total points awarded:04 
Reasons for voting decision: I've hear pro's jokes before, and cons third joke was really good
Vote Placed by Ore_Ele 6 years ago
Ore_Ele
Braden126DanTTied
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Total points awarded:03 
Reasons for voting decision: Con's R3 was great. Pro's R4 was pretty good, both Pro's R3 and Con's R4 were bad, maybe just because I've heard them so many times.
Vote Placed by blackhawk1331 6 years ago
blackhawk1331
Braden126DanTTied
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Total points awarded:03 
Reasons for voting decision: I liked con's second joke.
Vote Placed by F-16_Fighting_Falcon 6 years ago
F-16_Fighting_Falcon
Braden126DanTTied
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Total points awarded:33 
Reasons for voting decision: Pro's round1 and Con's round3 were the funniest.
Vote Placed by DetectableNinja 6 years ago
DetectableNinja
Braden126DanTTied
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Total points awarded:30 
Reasons for voting decision: Both made good effort (I liked Con's R3 joke), but in the end, I preferred Pro's performance.
Vote Placed by jm_notguilty 6 years ago
jm_notguilty
Braden126DanTTied
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Total points awarded:32 
Reasons for voting decision: I'll tie PRO and CON with 2 points since their jokes were kinda funny but give an additional point for PRO for his 1st joke.
Vote Placed by wiploc 6 years ago
wiploc
Braden126DanTTied
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Total points awarded:03 
Reasons for voting decision: For the undertaker joke.
Vote Placed by Calvincambridge 6 years ago
Calvincambridge
Braden126DanTTied
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Reasons for voting decision: pros first joke was hillarious
Vote Placed by seraine 6 years ago
seraine
Braden126DanTTied
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Total points awarded:30 
Reasons for voting decision: Pro's first round won it for me.