The Instigator
NightofTheLivingCats
Pro (for)
Losing
3 Points
The Contender
imabench
Con (against)
Winning
4 Points

Joke off.

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 3 votes the winner is...
imabench
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 8/17/2013 Category: Entertainment
Updated: 3 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 809 times Debate No: 36775
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (2)
Votes (3)

 

NightofTheLivingCats

Pro

R1 is for acceptance only. Any jokes may be used. The winner shall have the funniest jokes, judged my the voters.


Three jokes per round.


IMABENCH, I CHALLENGE YOU!!
imabench

Con

It's on :D
Debate Round No. 1
NightofTheLivingCats

Pro

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4 out of 5 people enjoy gang rape.

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What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's cunt?

Putting in twelve and sucking out thirteen.


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Say what you will about pedophiles, but they always slow down in school zones.

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imabench

Con

Theres a magician who performs on a cruise ship and the captain always attends the shows. The problem is that the Captain always brings along his bird who would yell out the magicians secrets after he just performed a trick. "Its up his sleep, bwaaaaak!" "He pulled it out of his hat, bwaaaaak!"

The Magician HATED this bird and one day he finally snaps. He pulls out a bazooka and shoots the bird, the bird ducks, the missile hits the fuel tanks and the ship explodes into a billion pieces. Only two people survive, the bird and the magician, theyre floating out on pieces of wood in the middle of the ocean

After a while the bird finally says "I give up, wheres the f*cking ship?"

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Why are black guys's eyes so red after sex?

From all the pepper spray ;D

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A high school teacher asks a history question to a girl in the front row in class and she doesnt know the answer.
The teacher asks the same question to the nerdy guy sitting right next to her and he gets the correct answer.
The girl looks right at the nerdy guy and says 'God youre such a freaking nerd, loser"
The teacher says "Hey! dont call him that, you might work for him one day"

Then the nerdy guy says, "why would I hire a prostitute to work for me?"
Debate Round No. 2
NightofTheLivingCats

Pro

A Russian, an American, and a Mexican go hunting. The Russian sees a deer and shoots it. Then he pulls out a bottle of vodka, takes a swig, then throws it in the air and shoots it.

The American and the Mexican asked, "What'd you do that for? We could have drunk that!"

The Russian replies, "Don't worry. There's plenty of vodka in Russia." They keep walking.

After a while, the Mexican sees a deer and shoots it. Then he pulls out a bottle of tequila, takes a swig, then throws it in the air and shoots it. The Russian and the American shout, "What'd you do that for? We could have drunk that!"

The Mexican says, "Don't worry. There's plenty of tequila in Mexico." They continue on.

After a while, they see another deer and, it being the American's turn, he shoots it. Then he turns and shoots the Mexican. The Russian shouts, "What'd you do that for?!"

"Don't worry, there's plenty of Mexicans in America."

============================================

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?

Punch her.


===========================================
So, I was eating out this girl, and I tasted black horse semen.

Then, I looked at her and said, "Oh grandma, so that's how you died!"




imabench

Con

How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they just beat the room for being black.

=======================================================================================

A woman is in a hospital and has just given birth to a baby girl. When the doctor comes in with her child, he suddenly drops it on the ground, kicks it, picks it up, and drop kicks it out the 4th floor window.

The woman screams "OH MY GOD, WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!?!?!?!"

The Doctor says "April Fools! It was a stillborn."

=======================================================================================

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Lets go play with Legos!
Debate Round No. 3
NightofTheLivingCats

Pro

---------------

Apparently, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile. Not me though, I live next door to a really sexy 10-yr old girl.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, how old is your girlfriend?


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I have Princess Diana added as a friend on Xbox live.

Shame she spends all her time on the dashboard.


----------------
imabench

Con

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police after committing a crime. They all run down a dark alley but the police keep pursuing them. Teh redhead jumps into a dumpster and starts barking like a dog. The cops say 'Its just a stray dog, keep going!'

The brunette sees this and jumps behind some trashcans. She meows like a cat and the cops say 'Its just some stray cat, keep going!'

The Blonde then jumps behind a sack of potatoes and yells 'POTATO POTATO' and is immediately caught

=============================================================================

What do you call a black guy squirming on the ground?

Quit laughing and reload

=============================================================================

A man who lives with his mom has a stroke and he takes her to the hospital. After 4 hours of surgery the doctor coems out and says 'I have some good news and bad news'

The man says 'Give me the bad news first'

The doctor says "Youre mother has suffered a massive stroke and has lost all control of the left half of her body, you will have to take care of her, feed her, and clothe her for the rest of her life which could be about ten years........... Also she has lost all control of her speech, the only sound she can make is this horrible screeching sound......... Also she has lost control of her bowels, she'll need to wear a diaper that will have to be changed once every three hours for the rest of her life"

The man says, "Jesus Christ..... Whats the good news!??!?!?!"

The doctor says "Im just messing with you, she died"
Debate Round No. 4
2 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 2 records.
Posted by Ver 3 years ago
Ver
wow I almost laughed, you guys are good.
I hate the Mexican joke though.
Posted by imabench 3 years ago
imabench
Can you make it 4 rounds?
3 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 3 records.
Vote Placed by Mikal 3 years ago
Mikal
NightofTheLivingCatsimabenchTied
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Total points awarded:01 
Reasons for voting decision: has to be on lmao, kept me laughing
Vote Placed by rajun 3 years ago
rajun
NightofTheLivingCatsimabenchTied
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Total points awarded:03 
Reasons for voting decision: Con did it for me
Vote Placed by ModusTollens 3 years ago
ModusTollens
NightofTheLivingCatsimabenchTied
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Total points awarded:30 
Reasons for voting decision: Pro's jokes were funnier.