Kids should have a say in who gets custody.
Debate Rounds (3)
Lets have a great debate.
I would disagree that kids should have the right to who they stay with. They are kids for a reason. Adults for the most part will know what's best for the children. Of course no system is fail prove but to give kids the right to decide who they spend the rest of their childhood it reckless.
If I was a kid I would choose to be with not the better parent and who gives me the best chance of being a successful adult but who I would like to be around the most. Because children do childish things.
Kids for the most part don't chose their diets, schools, TV shows, the city they reside in and the list goes on, why should they be left with such an important decision. These kind of decisions are for adults kids can decide kids sized decisions, what kid of lunch box they want, what kind of shoes, what Friday night movie.
They are only children why should they have that burden put on them. Its unfair.
If kids were giving this right to decide where would it stop? What other decisions would kids have? Would you let a child decent what job you get? What house you buy, what street etc.
I didn't mean that the kids can just say, "I want to go with my dad because he's cooler." That would be foolish. I mean that kids should at least be able to say something in a courthouse, like if there is a child whose mother stays out until 3:00 am, hooking up with men or partying with friends, acting way too immature for their age and status. Some parents might go without feeding their younger children because they care more about their social lives than their children.
I think that a child who is at least a teenager should be able to sit at the witness stand, and give small snippets of what each parents habits are. I don't mean habits like being strict, or not serving dessert. I mean habits like substance abuse issues, angry outbursts, or leaving for long periods of time, which are all things that are putting their child(ren) in physical danger. Also, If the only time a parent can look at a child of their own is when they're drunk, it could cause the child to become hurt on the inside, and out very frequently, for people sometimes become emotionally unstable during drunkenness, and may cause physical or emotional harm to the child.
And this alone won't let the child chose which parent they go with. This will just be some weight in the decision, unless the judge and/or jury aren't swayed by the child's testimony. If that happens, the child will be of no weight at all.
Yes your opening statement slight contradicts your true message but I will continue.
Of course it would be foolish for a kid to say he want to go with a parent because he or she is cooler but what about all the other factors that are not so obvious to a child. Having a child get their word will more than likely get their point of view of what is best for them currently as opposed to what's best for them in the long haul. For example, a child might say a particular parent is mean or unfair or he/she hate that parent , but in reality this parent could be doing what's really best for the child.
Children shouldn't be involved in adult decisions because they are not adults and don't know everything that evolved in the decision.
Here's what Shendl Tuchman, PsyD said regarding this
"Asking a child to make a decision, even when the child believes they would like to do so, is often detrimental. I have spoken with many adults who, as children, “got to choose” where to live when their parents divorced. In retrospect, they regretted having made a decision that was honored, feeling guilty about the parent they did not choose and feeling the tug of loyalty between the two people who brought them into the world. Anecdotally, this appears to be true whether they had a good relationship with the unchosen parent or not." http://www.goodtherapy.org...
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