The Instigator
Ore_Ele
Con (against)
Winning
9 Points
The Contender
jm_notguilty
Pro (for)
Losing
0 Points

Legalize Gay Marriage

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 7/21/2011 Category: Society
Updated: 5 years ago Status: Voting Period
Viewed: 1,716 times Debate No: 17606
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (7)
Votes (3)

 

Ore_Ele

Con

THIS IS MEANT TO BE A COMICAL, NON-SERIOUS DEBATE.

Just thought I would mention. None of the arguments are meant to be taken seriously (kinda what non-serious implies). Both sides should attempt to be as comical and outlandish as possible.

Let's give it a go.
jm_notguilty

Pro

Sorry for the delay.

Gay Marriage should be legalized. Why?

1) Gays would be happier. Main reason why. Like family leave. They can be entitled to unpaid leave from their jobs to care for an ill spouse but who's kidding who, they just love having intercourse.

2) When they're old and sill gay. If husband1 is sick/injured, then husband2 can automatically have visiting rights and make medical decisions. Some occasions gays are being denied these rights. Aww, the humanity. Not to mention nursing homes, too, when they're old.

3) Death and Money. 'Coz let's face it, some (or most) people who have no shot to score a hot and rich person of opposite sex have gay marriage just to get their wealth. Taxes, sociserity, pension plans, etc.

4) My favorite: Immigration. Who wants to live in an anti-Gay country anyway?

Done for now.
Debate Round No. 1
Ore_Ele

Con

FYI, this debate (at least my parts) is going to be raunchy and adult in humor. If you don't like that kind of humor, please do not read this debate and just vote for me. Cheers.

*Ore_Ele stands on the podium and up at the lectern*

Hello everyone, and thank you for taking the time to read this most important topic. First, I would like to thank my opponent for taking this challenge.

I like to tell you all why allowing homosexuals to marry is not only a horrible idea, it could spell the doom for modern society and our economy as we know it (and we all love where our economy currently is).

My first question to my opponent is, why do you hate butt buddies? What have they ever done to you to make you detest them so much that you would wish modern equivalent of the black spot of death upon them by unleashing the plague of marriage upon them? They've already had to go through AIDS and prosecution, and spending life living in fear and you wish to open this Pandora's Box upon them?! How dare you!

Marriage is the worse invention of mankind. It is a legal form of slavery which we've been brainwashed into accepting as a dream come true. But the fact of the matter is over 90% of deaths, are people that have been married at some point in their lives [1]. You hear that? Marriage kills! A lot! But not only that, marriage people have less fun [2], a side effect of slavery (why didn't the African Americans warn us that slavery sucks?!). This life of boring slavery, coupled with the fact that marriage will actually make you live longer [2] only makes it worse, like being a POW in a Vietnamese prisoner camp, only you won't be able to run for president off of that.

No, I cannot sit ideally by while anti-gay special interest groups pretend to be looking out for our bro-banging brethren, all the while secretly leading them like lambs to the slaughter! I suggest that not only do we not allow gay marriage, we illegalize homosexually altogether. Get as far away from that accursed prison trap that puts a single shackle on your finger.

In fact, illegalizing a person's genetic makeup does something amazing for us as a society (apart from telling nature that it's our bitch now and has to play by our rules). Illegal sex is HOT!

Nothing is more boring than common, socially acceptable sex. And we are getting too liberal in what we socially accept (remember when saying "damn" in a movie was outrageous?). I have to dress a girl up like a half cow, half fish while smacking her with a stick, just to get a hard on. And it won't be long before society says that's okay too and I'll have to find something new. I can't take it anymore. Nothing spells sexual excitement like the fear of being arrested, or even executed for it [3]. It's like banging the principal's daughter in his bed while he is taking a shower in the morning getting ready for school, with the lights on, the door open, and her panties on the door knob. We need to give that kind of sexual rush to homosexuals, not take it away.

I thank you all for reading and hope that you all can see that this is truly what is best for our pitchers and catchers, and the occasional third base coach (learned a lot of lessons about reaching third from them).

Thank you

[1] http://www.google.com...=
[2] http://longevity.about.com...
[3] http://www.google.com...
jm_notguilty

Pro

Sowwy if my arguments are non-comical, as you say.

But let's not forget without mommy and daddy being legally slaved, then they won't have legal sex which means we won't be here debating gays. And no, illegalizing homosexuality? No way, then that means my favorite barber down the street won't fix my hair again (the best hairstylist), Do you propose a sexist Hitler? Also, illegal sex may be hot, but we all do it, what's the point of pointing that out? Kbye.

(Still, my arguments are hotter than yours).
Debate Round No. 2
Ore_Ele

Con

I should remind everyone that making something illegal doesn't mean we have to enforce it. Just look at most of our non-violent laws. Like smoking pot. It's illegal, but we still have tens of millions of people that do it every month, and we're not arresting all of them. Or rich white men raping poor girls at bars or after work. That's "technically" against the law, but we don't really do anything about it, other than make the occasional high profile case to remind everyone that this is serious business that should really turn them on.

Besides, criminals give the best haircuts.

Going back to all the reasons that Homosexuals don't really want to get married, and that they have only been tricked into wanting that by the big anti-homo corporations (or something like that...it's big businesses fault, that's all I know), we can see that my opponent dodge the question of why he hates homosexuals so much as to want them to have to endure such horrible tortures as marriage. And if watching FOX news has tought me anything, it is that not answering a question is the absolute equivilent of giving the worse possible answer, and he can never take it back, or else be deemed a flip flopper (which I'm sure is some kind of gay slang) that was violently for gay marriage before he was violently against gay marriage, and he could relapse at any time and be violently for gay marriage again, and we don't want to listen to a violent person, do we?
jm_notguilty

Pro

Your joking right? [1]

The gays get their marriage ideas from the internet (prolly gay porn), not some cheap fat corporation. As to the question I actually dodged, yes, the worst possible answer indeed, I hate gays because God hates gays [2]. That's why 9/11 happened, the terrorrists were gays, I think. Oh, and marriage is a sacred thing according to my religion, it has very strict rules that's why you say it's hell. KK. :)

[1] http://allweirdnews.com...
[2] http://cache.gawker.com...
Debate Round No. 3
Ore_Ele

Con

Obviously the hairsylist from example 1 was not homosexual, since if he was it wouldn't have been so bad. That makes for a completely circular logic, and complete circles are completely correct (I call it the CC rule).

My opponent says that gays get their ideas of marriage from gay porn, not some cheap fat corporation. I should remind my opponent that the porn industry is a $60 billion (back in 2005) [1]. And we all know that gay porn is the biggest single section of the pron industry (specifically lesbian porn). So they've got my opponent thinking that they aren't some big business, when in fact they are.

Though I was thinking that the worse possible answer was that you were on the brink of a breakthrough in creating a virus that would spread through the Gay community and kill them all off slowly, but sherly. And in a way that would make it look like they died from other diseases, by killing off their immune system and allowing a simple flu to do them in... wait, that was already done back in the 80's, but this time, redoing it so it only effected the homosexuals and not everyone else.

But I suppose religion is a pretty bad one too.

Anyway, the reasons for why we cannot let the enemies of the homosexual community trick them into wanting marriage have been shown for the world to see.

Please, save the gays from the DOOM of marriage!

[1] http://www.time.com...
jm_notguilty

Pro

Funny, I imagined gay porn with 1 gay behind the camera and another or 2 gays doing something, thought they were amateur vids, since gay porn is disgustingly disgusting, I haven't watch some, never had, never will. You need to specify which corporation, because tobacco, sex toys, magaindustries comes to mind.

But really, vote pro because deep inside, we hate gays, and that arguments on R1 were nice, but who cares.

No, let's tie this up.

Debate Round No. 4
7 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 7 records.
Posted by Ore_Ele 5 years ago
Ore_Ele
Most of them are (in my opinion) which is why I intended this to be a comical one, not a serious one.
Posted by 000ike 5 years ago
000ike
these gay marriage debates are becoming like spam.
Posted by Ore_Ele 5 years ago
Ore_Ele
Swanky, you didn't even read the OP of the debate.
Posted by SenorSwanky 5 years ago
SenorSwanky
1) Marriage to some is a religious sacrament, there should a separation of state and religion.
2) The government has bigger issues to deal with , i.e. War, Budget, Defense.
3) The government should see everyone as equal under the law whether straight, gay, monogamist, polygamist, married or unmarried. Equal laws should apply to all. Since that is not the case, then no laws should govern marriage.
4) I am tired of this gay marriage debate. Take it out of the government's hands and out of the press. Let someone other than the government decide your relationship status. Press time can be devoted to more important topics.
5) The issue is divisive. If there is no government sanctioned definition of marriage, people can decide on their own whatever definition suits them.
6) The government should not know the relationship status of people.

The government should mind its other very important business and stay out of social engineering. People look toward the government as if its their parent. People should have the freedom to start making their own decisions.
Posted by Ore_Ele 5 years ago
Ore_Ele
But there will be more.
Posted by Ore_Ele 5 years ago
Ore_Ele
Sorry FREEDO, you snooze, you lose.
Posted by FREEDO 5 years ago
FREEDO
Maybe.
3 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 3 records.
Vote Placed by thett3 5 years ago
thett3
Ore_Elejm_notguiltyTied
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Total points awarded:30 
Reasons for voting decision: "just like rich white men raping poor girls is TECHNICALLY against the law.." Con win.
Vote Placed by kohai 5 years ago
kohai
Ore_Elejm_notguiltyTied
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Total points awarded:30 
Reasons for voting decision: HAHA! Con was hilarious...pro was just stupid.
Vote Placed by darkkermit 5 years ago
darkkermit
Ore_Elejm_notguiltyTied
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Total points awarded:30 
Reasons for voting decision: CON gave me a good chuckle.