Lets All Be Random
Debate Rounds (5)
I like randomness...... Do you? Because if you accept this debate, you are in for a wirlwind of RANDOMNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-my nose is a communist
How do you want to die?
Well, I want to die like my grandmother, who died peacefully in her sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in her car.
Did you know that the statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness? Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.
I am a wonderful person! I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
I also dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned...........
Screw world peace, I want a pony.
A Hairy window broke a silly pineapple with a Blue fridge- cause we get hairy windows theses days.
The way you play the cheese guitar with the licorice strings and your fishy fingers, is just incredible.-errrrrrrrrrr gross.
My world is where everybody is a pony and we all eat rainbows and poop butterflies.
So like as I was saying, the mass spectrometer in my room actually turned out not to be a mass spectrometer, but the mutant remains of the massive spectacle-o-meter. [Its an easy mistake to make ok!] Its a giant Machine invented by highly intellectual pink ants, designed to track down old granny spectacles, and sort them into size order. Except as I previously mentioned this one was a mutant. It was genetically mutated at birth, and instead of sorting out all these glasses, it brain washes them into thinking they are clones of david tenant. This means there are now billions of old spectacles flooding out of my door, and they are all ridiculously egocentric, because most of them think they're really hot. Except that pair over there, they just think they're an old christmas turkey, that had a little much to drink. Seriously watching a pair off glasses acting as a drunk Turkey is probably the strangest thing I've ever seen.
Ugh. It just barfed. Deodorant.
At least puking deodorant smells better than the sweaty army commando in my deserted sausage factory. (Althought it landed right in the lasanga. Blech!) Hmmm. Havn't fed the guy in a while. I might send some of my Tennant glasses round with some kind of a food. Like monkey lasanga, (He won't mind the deodrant...). Or a Robot. Or pie. Mmmmmm........
debatable1999 forfeited this round.
was walking to my car when I noticed my pants were on fire. I turned to my friend and said, "I think were going to need an oven and fast."
He grabbed me with his soggy fingers and said.. "Snap out of it, Man."
Then he proceeded to chant and walk in circles around me.
I looked down, My pants were still on fire, but by this time it had spread to my legs and three other ligaments. I was getting pretty agitated that no one seemed to care about my third degree burns, or my soon imminent death, but I went along with his plan still hoping he'd manage to save me through his voo-doo witchcraft.
After I came out of my trance from the fire I noticed that I was now in the kitchen of my grandma's house baking a cake..
I Screamed "WHAT THE?"
My Grandma ran in and slapped me for cursing.
Then she proceeded to say, "I swear if you talk like that 5 more times, I'll beat the living daylights outta you."
I was quite confused as to what was going on and what I did to deserve this true life mad lib. I just stood there in silence with a look of uttermost confusion.. and I stared at the women who had once been a kind sweet old lady, who wouldn't even kill a baby piglet, now turned into this vicious beast of a monster with veins protruding from her neck like a porcupines quills on a midsummer day.
She gasped, and then with the blink of an eye turned back into the sweet old lady I had once known.
"Would you like some cookies, dear?"
"Ummm, yes, grandma."
As she went to retrieve the cookies, I was planning my escape.. Looking around pondering what unimaginable thing would happen next if I stayed. As my grandma neared the corner with her plate of cookies, I ran to the door as fast as my burning legs would take me.
As I made my silent escape I heard grandma yell, "You forgot your cookies dear"
Little did she know I didn't give a damn about those cookies. As I ran I thought about my previous life and how this whole day had been more interesting than my whole entire life on earth had.. I began to ponder if this was karma punishing me for just sitting on the laptop all day typing short stories for little to no pay. When I decided to stop and catch my breath, I wiped the sweat from my face and looked up to see what else this new world had to offer.
Far off in the distance I could see a huge building, maybe a hotel or some sort of jail. I wasn't too sure.. but I marked that location off my list, the last thing I needed was to go to a jail and get killed by a bunch of mobsters.. I mean seriously, my pants were already on fire.
I decided to turn to my left and see what my next choice would be.
There were flying cantaloupes, rainbows and songs of happiness near by, I mean I was a little frightened by the flying fruit but I'll take this any day over prison inmates.
I skipped closer and closer to the festivities and when I arrived I seen all my friends I had went to high school with. They were holding hands and singing Kumbayah around the camp ice.. Yes It was a giant block of ice situated on three wood logs.. I felt much more comforted here than I did at my grandmas. I took a deep breath of relief and I thought, maybe, this day is getting better. I joined hands and with Germany and Tokyo and began to sing with everyone else, but as soon as I belched out my voice changed to an annoying high pitched squeal.. Similar to ringing in your ears.
Everyone turned toward me and gave me the death stare and I knew I had screwed up once again, they all walked in slow motion towards me saying the same familiar chant I had heard earlier, before anyone could reach me I awoke in a frantic sweaty rush in my bed.. My legs were no longer on fire and I felt slightly normal again. I noticed that my mom, a preacher, and several other family members were standing around me sobbing and chanting.. I said. "What's going on?" They informed me that I had been possessed by a spirit named Robert that liked to make people crazy by making there dreams seem similar to real life, only completely insane. They told me that I had been very lucky to be through such a traumatic experience and live to tell about it, without needing to be put in a psych ward. I turned to the preacher and said.
"I think were gonna need an oven and fast."
That's when they knew I was a goner.
What happens to an irrisitable force when it hits an immovable object?
Hotel lobby, Bucharest: THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add.
Hotel room notice, Chiang-Mai, Thailand: PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM.
I am in shape. Round is a shape.
The wise never marry and when they marry they become otherwise.
"Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage." - Ambrose Bierce
You can't have everything...where would you put it?
Can a short person "talk down" to a taller person?
Notice at a Public Bar: OUR PUBLIC BAR IS PRESENTLY NOT OPEN BECAUSE IT'S CLOSED - Manager
This is a non-smoking gas pump.
If a guy that was about to die in the electric chair had a heart attack should they save him?
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
Success is not about who you know, rather who knows you.
If, in a baseball game, the batter hits a ball splitting it right down the center with half the ball flying out of the park and the other half being caught, what is the final ruling?
A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer: DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.
If a transvesite goes missing, would you put their face on a carton of Half and Half?
Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?
If you get this message, call me, and if you don't get it, don't call.
On the side of a milk carton: Allergy advice - May Contain Traces of Milk
Why are all of the Harry Potter spells in Latin if they're English?
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
I am a nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect.
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.
Why put a towel in the dirty clothes basket if when you get out of the shower you are clean?
Notice at a Public Bar: OUR PUBLIC BAR IS PRESENTLY NOT OPEN BECAUSE IT'S CLOSED - Manager
Can you daydream at night?
Why is it that everyone driving faster than you is considered an idiot and everyone driving slower than you is a moron?
Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
Do they bury people with their braces on?
I was born intelligent - education ruined me.
I think therefore I am... I think.
One day there was a sunny fence ginger who ate nineteen sprinkles exactly every minute and went to Starbucks to meet with a teacup assassin. I caught writers block off a canon cow who caught me not reading in a fish tank so I went to the doctors and they gave me a tissue to blow my ears into everyday and it would go away. I killed the cow with an angry flannel monster and ate my way out of a hive when I was abducted by undead bees. The tangled old octopus sparingly poured tea with his eleven arms – he is a mutant. “Blah, blah, blah,” said the cheese monkey as he road into london on his ice cream horse underneath the moon who had been graffiti'd with the words “ I MUST EAT” by seahorse aliens.
Mean Things to Say to Someone
Funny Names to Call People?
What Is My Gangster Name
How to Ask a Friend a Question?
Text Messaging Pranks?
How to Intercept Text Messages?
What Is a Good Catch Phrase
Funny Catch Phrases?
What Are Cool Nicknames
Who Are the Most Famous People That Have Either Asked or Answered Questions on Quora
Dirty Would You Rather?
Ways to Turn a Guy on?
What Turns Guys on?
How Can I Turn My Boyfriend on
Ways to Turn on Your Boyfriend?
What Is a Good Prank Call
Things to Say for Prank Calls?
Why Do Guys Ignore Girls
Where Can I Find Short Jokes
Random Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend?
Random Things to Talk about?
How to Talk to Random Girls?
Pub Quiz Team Names?
Letter to My Boyfriend?
How to Write a Goodbye Letter to a Boyfriend?
Why Are the Majority of Questions Here Completely Crazy
What Is a Nickname
What Is a Good Prank
Excuse for Missing School?
Awkward Questions to Ask a Friend?
Funny Personal Questions?
Chain Text Messages?
What Is a Good Cheer Joke
Thought Provoking Questions?
Are You Funny
Funny Question of the Day?
What Are Annoying Quotes
How to Make a Guy Jealous?
Dirty Questions to Ask Someone?
What Are Good Golf Team Names
Funny Golf Team Names?
What Are Common
Funny Fill in the Blanks
ever noticed that most octupus turn purple when they eat a blue mushroom hat without trying toswollow a wale.
1 votes has been placed for this debate.
Vote Placed by KingDebater 3 years ago
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Reasons for voting decision: Randomness?
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