The Instigator
rajun
Pro (for)
Winning
14 Points
The Contender
Benshapiro
Con (against)
Losing
0 Points

Lets see who can make others laugh.

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 4 votes the winner is...
rajun
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 8/9/2013 Category: Miscellaneous
Updated: 3 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 881 times Debate No: 36499
Debate Rounds (5)
Comments (1)
Votes (4)

 

rajun

Pro

I will love to be challenged at cracking jokes and making others laugh. I think everyone knows what happens in such debates, all will laugh their butts off....no serioius conduct is required.
Benshapiro

Con

I used to have curly hair but I'm bald now. I still have a ton of curly hair but it's down south. Should I cut it off and glue it on my head? Would it look good? Or would that just make me more of a dick-head?
Debate Round No. 1
rajun

Pro

Don't worry Con, it will be a revolution!! people will get inspired like hell. Just take care of the smell...
and yeah, inspired by your hairstyle joke, I remember....

Once an old man was waiting by the bus stand...A youngster with green and blue hair flowing on one side and spiky on the other came beside him and started whistling.
The old man stared at this dude awkwardly and that made our youngster angry.
"what?? old-bag...never tried anything wild?" the youngster said and lighted a cigar.
"yeah, once I became wild and did it with a peacock...wondering if you are the result."the old one replied giving a toothless grin.
...........................

This guys are lighting cigars and dying soon...our St.Peters in Heaven is always complaining about overburden but life(oops,i mean death) gives him some good moments....

It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to accept people who had really had a bad day on the day they died.
St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day
you died."
The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed
him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, and I died."
St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in.
He then asked the next man in line about the day he died.
"Well, sir, it was awful," said the second man. "I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!"
St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job."Tell me about the day you died?", he said to the third man in line.
"OK, picture this, I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator...."

...........................................

people keep on bugging our St. peter like that and much of the time he forgets what's the time but he has good instruments too, Lie-clocks for instance.....

Our Mrs. clinton died and went to heaven....She met St. Peters but saw some peculiar things...
"what are those?"she asked.
"those are lie clocks, every time one says a lie...the hand moves."he pointed one of them "that is Gandhi's that has not moved yet, that means he didn't say a single lie. That one is of Martin Luther that has moved only twice and that one is..."
"thats okay, but where is my Clinton's Clock?"she asked
"its in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."

.....................................

Now we do know how politicians lie...Normal citizens have stereotyped the politicians to be sheer liers...how bad....

One day, An SUV carrying 3 politicians crashed into a house. Three hours later, Police and the medic team arrived on the spot to inquire. They found some normal looking citizens sitting on a hump of mud brushing their teeth.
"Have you seen any politicians?"asked a police officer
"yes" replied a man from the group."we all have"
"where are they then?"
"we buried them good."
"what??!! that means they died on the spot?"
"they said that they were alive but of-course you know how much these politicians lie...."

....................................

And this word "politicians" reminds me of "politics" and of-course we know how much competition is among them....

1.The Prime Minister of China called President Bush
to console him after the attack on the Pentagon:
I'm sorry to hear about the attack. It is a very
big tragedy.But in case
you are missing any documents
from the Pentagon, we have copies of everything."

===================================================

2.Musharraf calls Bush on 11th sept:
Musharraf: Mr President, I would like to! express
my condolences to you. It
is a real tragedy. So many people, such great
bldgs... I would like to
ensure that we had nothing in connection with
that...It was not s.....
Bush : What buildings? What people??
Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now?
Bush : It's eight in the morning.
Musharraf: Oops...Will call back in an hour!

.......................................
Benshapiro

Con

Wanna know how to ruin a knock-knock joke?

*Knock-knock*

"Come in!"
Debate Round No. 2
rajun

Pro

Yeah Con, you may just have no door as well.

Friends, know what? DDO has some serious bugs and mechanical defects and some people get too pissed off because of them...some take major steps...

Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, the guy tells Ford,"Well, you've been such a good guy and your
invention the car changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone you want in heaven."
So Henry Ford thinks about it and says: "I want to hang out with Adam,the first man."

So the guy at the gates points Adam out to Ford.
When Ford gets to Adam, Ford asks "Hey aren't you the inventor of woman?" Adam says, "Yes."

"Well," says Ford, "You have some major design flaws in your invention:

1)There is too much front end projection.
2) It chatters at high speeds
3) The rear end wobbles too much
4) and the intake is too close to the exhaust."

"Hmmmmm.." says Adam, "Hold on."
So Adam goes to the celestial computer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits for the results. The computer prints out
a slip of paper and Adam reads it. He then says to Ford, "It may be that my invention is flawed, but according to the
stellar computer, more men are riding my invention than yours."

........................................

But it is not that men can always dominate the situation...sometimes women have the upper hand,most of the time,

Mungerilal, who was very thin and short, was standing at the bus stop.
Suddenly a car stops and a beautiful girl waves her hand calling him by his name and asking him to sit in her car. Mungerilal was surprised but recognized her. She was Jasmine, an old batch-mate but he didn't know why she was calling him (because she never gave him any "lift" in the college). Anyhow he sat in the car and Jasmine gave him a warm
welcome. Then she said "Why don't we have coffee together". By now Mungerilal was even more surprised. He thought "Coffee with Jasmine? (an old dream...coming true) WOW !!" and he gave his consent.
At the cafe, all of a sudden Jasmine says "Lets go to my house, there are a lot of people here". Mungerilal is on cloud nine "Today, is my luckiest day!!".

When they reach home she asks him "Why don't we sit in my bedroom,you can turn on the AC". Mungerilal was thinking to himself ' Jasmine has fallen for my body. ' and he starts dreaming. When he enters the bedroom, Jasmine says
"Why don't you take off your shirt, you are sweating". Mungerilal's eyes popped out. He could not believe his ears and again starts dreaming.
Jasmine says" Be comfortable and I will be back in a minute".
Mungerilal is alone in the room with his bare match-stick like body and thinking about the sudden change of events. After five minutes Jasmine enters the room...........

With her 2 children and said "See children, if you will not drink
Horlicks then your body will become like this"......
Benshapiro

Con

How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? He farts.
Debate Round No. 3
rajun

Pro

Yeah, I know. People say he is gay but I think gay is too less a word to describe his gender.

I know I said something about politics...but is it clear that what is Politics actually?

A little boy goes to his Dad and asks, "What's Politics?"
Dad says, "Well, son, let me try to explain it to you this way. "
I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me "Capitalism."
Your Mom is the administrator of the household, so we'll call her "The
Government."
We're here to take care of YOUR needs so we'll call you "The People."
The servant lady works hard all day for very little money so, we'll
consider her "The Working Class."
And your baby brother . . . we'll call him "The Future."

Now, think about that and see if it makes sense.
So, the little boy goes off to bed, thinking about what his Dad has said.

Later that night he hears his baby brother crying so he gets up to check on
him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little
boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep.

Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the Servant lady's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks into the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the Servant lady. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father,
"Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."
The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is about."

The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the people are being ignored, and the Future is in deep sh*t...
Benshapiro

Con

What do you call a deer with no balls and no eyes?

No f*ckin eye deer
Debate Round No. 4
rajun

Pro

And this is some good reading!!

TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE - FROM A MAN WHO'S HAD ENOUGH

Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. We need it up you
need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.

ALL men see in only 16 colours. Peach is a fruit, not a colour.

If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act
like
soap opera guys.

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to
answer.

Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short

hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married
women
always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can
find
the perfect present yet again!

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
don't
want to hear.

Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.

Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
such
topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.Let
it
be.

Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it that way.

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine.Really.You
have enough clothes. You have too many shoes.

Crying is blackmail.

Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't
work.
Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. - Just say it!

No, we don't know what day it is. We never will.Mark anniversaries on the
calendar.

Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes.

Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good
at
choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we
do.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Check your oil.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments
become null and void after 7 days.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes
you
sad or angry, we meant the other one.

Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic.You can either tell
us
to
do something OR tell us how to do something, but not both.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

If it itches, it will be scratched.

Beer is as exciting for us as handbags and shoes are for you.

If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing",we will act like nothing's
wrong.
We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.

Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight,
but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping!!!!
Benshapiro

Con

"My memory is so bad"
"How bad is it"
"How bad is what?"
Debate Round No. 5
1 comment has been posted on this debate.
Posted by rajun 3 years ago
rajun
Please give comments if you enjoyed...
4 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 4 records.
Vote Placed by GOP 3 years ago
GOP
rajunBenshapiroTied
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Total points awarded:40 
Reasons for voting decision: It's like Con's arguments were almost non-existent. It's almost like a forfeit. The jokes he came up with are very short, whereas Pro's jokes were not.
Vote Placed by imabench 3 years ago
imabench
rajunBenshapiroTied
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Reasons for voting decision: Full forfeit
Vote Placed by lannan13 3 years ago
lannan13
rajunBenshapiroTied
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Total points awarded:30 
Reasons for voting decision: Pro made me laugh more since Con only posted 1 joke per round.
Vote Placed by Nataliella 3 years ago
Nataliella
rajunBenshapiroTied
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Total points awarded:30 
Reasons for voting decision: Vulgar jokes aren't my kind of humor, I prefer witty ones. Good job to both of you! :)