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Lyrical Challenge III

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 3 votes the winner is...
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 11/4/2010 Category: Entertainment
Updated: 5 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 1,755 times Debate No: 13564
Debate Rounds (5)
Comments (14)
Votes (3)




Many thanks in advance to my opponent for accepting our third lyrical challenge!

As per usual, the rules are the same -- My opponent will accept this debate, and post a topic for me to rap about in my next round. I will present a rap pertaining to the theme my opponent assigned, and include in the next round a topic for him to rap about as well. This will continue until each of us has done 3 raps a piece. In the final round, I will present a short analysis and/or comparison of our raps, essentially explaining why I think I have won the challenge (as something for the audience to consider when voting). In his final round, my opponent will do the same.

Thanks also in advance to the readers and judges -- Hope you enjoy it :)


Ok, I accept your challenge, except to request rather than one topic, we give THREE topics much like we did in later rounds of Lyrical Challenge II... kthxbai.

Your topics are: "Moving out of home", Ancient Rome and Mobile Phones.
Debate Round No. 1


Thanks, TV!

I agree with your suggestion of proposing three topics for each lyricist to choose from.

My first verse would theoretically be delivered a capella without a beat in the back-ground, with the rapper sort of setting the tone and tempo by rapping it with a dramatic and animated story-telling type of delivery, which I can hopefully demonstrate through punctuation. The paragraph breaks don't represent particular verses or bars for timing, but rather are there for aesthetics in viewing purposes since this has to be read. I chose the theme of moving out of home, in which I narrate (rap) what could go wrong with the process.


Looking back on when I was a teenager, I was a mean hater
To me that's a long-time-no-see stranger
In danger of straying but I've changed my ways since then
No longer convinced the world revolves around women

All I could think was...

I need place of my own, some space cuz I'm grown
To take a chick home, to shake and to bone
I need a zone where I can safely undress her
I'll be King of the throne, not Queen cuz they're lesser
And nobody's above me unless I want them to be
Even when they're on top, I'm still strong underneath
Working it, jerking it, proverbial earning it
Yes it's my turn to own a spot while I'm burning it
And make girls moan a lot while I'm wound up a notch
I'm hot though so I gotta learn to go down like scotch

But it's known people ain't prone to mind they're own business - what is this?
They condone sleeping alone - now I'm on their sh!t list
Moving out is number one on my Christmas wish list
Told my mom it'd be fun to go though she insists that she'd miss this
But f*ck it, I'm above it, when ya gotta go ya gotta go
So I gamble like Lotto to scramble and move outta home...

A few years later, I'm like what the hell was I thinking?
I'm like a captain drifting at the ship helm sinking
Shifting gears, drinking for years, pent up fears
No money for rent cuz it's spent on beers
No sense, so dense, no expensive career
No defense for the immense messes up here

So maybe I wasn't as mature as I thought
It's a war that I've fought that got me distraught
And grasping at straws, I've got so many flaws
It's my fault that I've broken hearts and some jaws

So I found out the hard way life's many lessons
The school of Hard Knocks where I've been attending
Pretending I got my sh!t together but I haven't
Had so many chances but I didn't grab them
Instead I literally just pissed away my potential
Now I'm consistently dissed cuz of no impressive credentials

So I gotta lotta making up for, and f*ck whores
They got me addicted and then I failed like drug laws
But forget that - though I've had a lot of set backs
And been through all kinds of sh!t like Exlax
Still I don't sweat that - I'm on track but a little off-beat
Now I set my tempo to resemble ghetto streets:
Dark and steady, hard and heavy
I've been very scarred already - now I get deadly heat

So here's the testament to what I've experienced
I was eager to go like what's in the clearance bin
Though looking back I shoulda delayed my fate a bit
Not wasted time but still coulda waited to quit
Impatient individual - indivisible - Thought I'd I'd be miserable
Cuz I've always been - independent - transcendent and visible

But check it - I'm not a role model, I'm just explaining
The benefits and better gifts you get for just waiting
To delay the process of the inevitable procedure
I've made unforgettable progress though I'm not a preacher
Just warning you eager kids so you're not grieving what's next:
Make sure that you're ready before leaving the nest


The topics for my opponent to choose from for his next verse are the sex industry, hippies, or candy.


Thank you L!
Hopefully my Aussie lingo makes sense.
(For instance, off your 3KZ is off your head. It this weird slang-rhyming thing, anyway, I could easily have just rhymed head, but I think it sounds better, moving on.)
I chose candy and wrote a sort of internal monologue of some thoughts about candy. It's a weird, sporadic type of rhyme style but, that's kind of how thoughts are.
At the supermarket, gotta pick up some milk and bread.
Been smoking cones for days, stoned off my THREE-KAY -ZED.
Wondering around dazed, these places are like a maze.
Phase in and out of a haze, till I'm walking down the candy aisle again.
Greeting me like a friend, ten types of bars, Mars and gummy bears.
Theres no chance I'm leaving without an armful.
Harmful repurcussions completely miss my brain.
Insane amount of calaries, skittles are shouting "buy me please".
Freeze frame, me drooling, supermarket cooling at the perfect degree.
Open up my skinny wallet and a fvcking faded feather flies free.
You a broke b!tch baby, bread and milk is the only purchase.
Fast-lane merchant, smiles and asks me how was my day.
"Good thanks," I answer, but it's sh!t without some candy.

Next day sober, hung over like a jacket on a chair,
Fair's fair, though, what goes up must come down from there.
Frown and stare, car needs petrol, feel like I'm death row.
Lining up to pay, say, no way, what confronts me today.
Twix bars and M&Ms; a wall of items I fancy.
Still broke, I empty my change out. No joke.
5 cents short on the thing I would have bought.
Think quick, dip stick, maybe just buy up some gum.
No-one else left in the line, time to make up my mind.
"Just the fuel thanks", stuffing coins back into my pocket.
Don't mock it. Tightened up my socket, rocket out the shop.
Don't stop, crumple up your fuel docket. Lock it in a win.
Free temporary from the consumers impulse sin.
Debate Round No. 2


Thanks, TVellalott!

I decided to challenge myself and do verses for all 3 topics you gave me just for the fun of it (Punk Rock, The Birds and the Bees and Coffee). However obviously you're not committed to such an endeavor, and as such, if I have to submit just one song for comparison this round then I'll go with my first one on Punk Rock. This was a tough decision because my last one (Coffee) might be most creative, but I digress. I'm okay with all of them being used for comparison, but again I suppose the first one can be my official one for this round. Anyway, here goes...



[[ Punk Rock ]]

So in the 1960s you had the hippies
Doing drugs, lotsa hugs, feeling tipsy
Keeping busy on both sides of Mississippi
So f*cked up all they felt inside was dizzy

Not the pain and the anguish of reality
Problems aren't solved just by changing your mentality
They need to come on down to earth like gravity
Anarchy - wreaking havoc instead of peace

And so-called punks were feeling ballistic
Flower power chumps, they're so idealistic
It's not realistic - Look at real statistics
If you you wanna reveal some sick sh!t

Like Sid Vicious taking down 'Big Business'
What is this? Not malicious but ambitious
There's nothing sadistic in this gift
Unless you emit fictitious sh!t with the swiftness

Greed is a sickness, and the temptation is flagrant
There's no salvation in slaving - it's shameless and vacant
Stainless guns are needed for revolutions
Rebel solutions cuz they revel in executions

Pained faces from all races needed a movement
A new kind of attitude feeds new kind of music
That's hard, heavy, fast and crass
So next NOFX, Black Flag, The Clash

Don't give me a posh fit, I want a mosh pit
Watch as I squash it; I'm with the Dropkicks
Saying government is not what it pretends to be
But the Dead Kennedys got the prez's remedy

So au revoir soft guitar and Rolling Stones
Hello Bad Religion, Sex Pistols, The Ramones
Don't forget Minor Threat, they're known widely
And mistaken I'd be to forget Operation Ivy

All important in dismissing the abhorrent system
That kinda effort warrants recognition
A generation with a bad reputation
Moving to improve nations and got no compensation

And that's the enigma cuz they were trying to fix it
Now they carry the stigma of just being some Misfits



[[ "The Birds and the Bees" ]]

Mom said "It's time you learned about the Bids and the Bees
I'll tell you myself, forget what you heard on the streets"
And immediately I wanted to run from her pull
Sincerely I felt really uncomfortable

But tough luck, I sucked it up but it was rough
Hearing her say stuff about getting f*cked
Guys beating guts, busting nuts in girls muffs
I called her bluff and got stuck - I'm a schmuck

And she told me I needed a guy to fly high
I'm like - what for? I don't need a bird to soar
Look at me, Queen Bee, ruling the hive
A guy seems useless, there's no fooling this thrive

You're just fueling my drive like B.P. gas is
Any guy who tries to fly beside me's outlasted
I outclass em like bathroom passes
Zoom past him fast like shot glasses

Guys leave stains like glass on windows for masses
Gas masks to help pass the stench from their a$ses
I mean to me there's just nothing appealing
Don't ever expect to get sex with me kneeling

F*ck the eagles, the pigeons, the hawks and the seagulls
After this talk you'll know to me that they're equal
And the plusses for girls are their busts and their curls
Any smegma noticed by my retina - I'll hurl

Chicks are best in the world, and d!cks they're funny
Why'd I want a bird when I prefer these bees and honey?
But her, she couldn't handle what she didn't understand
A scandal occurred cuz I prefer women to man

Then her eyes teared up like she had mad allergies
I feared this would happen with her bad analogies
Now I'm barely feeling half passed adequate
Though I realized something that made me laugh a bit:

Birds are supposed to be females in this example
Good, on second thought bugs are a lot to handle
Confusion occurred, lesson learned, it's not preferred
To use birds and insects to blur words about sex



[[ Coffee ]]

Here's an admission: I got two addictions
Foreign coffee and haughty women
And both at the same time would destroy me
Now I'm losing my mind, the new Starbucks employee
Got me jumping for joy, see
Both are creamy, smooth and delicious
I'm getting steamy as I soothe the witness
The observer who overheard her taking my order
She's a server with fervor, damn wish I could award her
And she gently inquires what she could get me
Ask if I require a Venti cuz it wires me plenty
But I've had a long day, just make it a grande
Thanks a latte! Now all I want's your bod-day
Lingering kisses, fingering while listening to Sade
Forget the witnesses, they're gone, k?
Just kidding, miss, I come on with strong sway
I'm gay so I hope you don't go the wrong way...
But nevermind, let's just get back to my purchase
I've come off worthless from the surface
Like some jerk kid but you've worked your service
And I'm sorry - it's just that you're hot like jalape´┐Żos
I'll be having dreams about those jeans
On you while you make cappuccinos
I feel as though I got lucky in casinos
Now I'ma try to score like a free throw
See these hoes whore like weeds grow
Everywhere - I don't care, I just want my caffeine
Caribou, that'll do, or Gloria Jeans
And don't forget the whipped cream
That sh!t screams tasty to extreme
I want a tall, small and everything in between
Cream puffs off the cuff is not enough -
I want my cup filled up with stuff I won't up-chuck
It's rough, my tough luck got me feeling sorrow:
You're out of cinnamon, hope you get some in tomorrow
Cuz sipping that's like tripping up Mount Kiliminjaro
I feel on top of the world, and the caramel doesn't cut it
Tried your vanilla drink and it was rubbish
What the hell was this? I need to think and not feel sluggish
Look I like girls like my coffee - they gotta come with a biscotti
Alright I'm naughty - I meant either light, dark, bitter, sweet
I'll tell it to the whole world like Twitter tweets
So Presto! Let's go get undressed and have sex, hoe
What goes in my mouth next is either you or espresso


My opponent may choose from: fast food, the internet or California.


Yep, I've got no chance in hell of making this deadline.

So your next three topics are running late, the world economy or Japan.
Debate Round No. 3


Damn, TV... that sucks! But just to be a giant tool I'm going to submit my next verse within the next 30 minutes because I want to challenge myself again by writing something super fast :P


-- JAPAN --

Yo listen up I'm about to tell with a mellow flow
The story of a well known zoned archipelago
A terrific bunch of islands grouped in the Pacific
They're strictly business: nothing short of prolific
Don't mean to get so specific but damn they're impressive
Forget their horrific past which seems so aggressive
Cuz now they're all about output and productivity
Visited dismal cities there to see what it is to me:
More than a bunch of ninjas and some sushi rolls
Though I've been convinced to just binge on those
They've got a phenomenal exemplary culture
And a nominal emperor to help run their country
Their people are good but genuinely different
The popular opinion's adopting a system of minions
I guess they enjoy a nice little hierarchical structure
A rich a$s boss at the top employs some boys under
And they're equipped with a healthy competitive spirit
Whipped in shape to get wealthy, no repetitive beer guts
Like we've got here in the western hemisphere
But they've got their own menace - a helpless fear
A paranoia of failure, sometimes they commit suicide
Admit they're unfit to be alive and split without a goodbye
Just a suicide note apologizing to their family
Agonizing, "Sorry I'm not the man I could be"
Just cuz maybe they didn't make a zillion dollars
But hey let's not hate and concentrate on the horrors
So yeah, their eyes are squinty but don't call em Chinky
Yellow but white on the inside like a Twinkie
Guys advise for a wild night the girls they're kinky
Small in size but could bend those thighs like a slinky
You with me?
And their dudes are small but nothing to f*ck with
The Asian mob might gut you, turn ya into a puppet
Still if on you're next vacation you're planning to fly
Then consider staying and playing in the land of samurais


Bam! That didn't take as long as I'd thought :P So anyway your topics for the next round are credit cards, Halloween or Scientology.


I'm going to be honest L, I'm completely uninspired rap wise of late and tonight is no exception.
I'm challenging you right now to another one in the future, when I'm feeling inspired.
You seem to be enjoying the challenge of this, so I'll give you a final topic.

I want to hear a rap about a man named Michael, who has works in a Post Office. He is married to Heather, but is having an affair with Carol. He is tall, left-handed and color blind. He likes Lego, Mad magazine and facebook. He dreams of becoming a chef. He has a cat named Trever.

Debate Round No. 4


Thanks, TV. Sorry for the delay -- I've been incredibly sick this week but I figured I might as well suck it up and throw something together before this is due. I put asterisks* next to the words or 11 concepts you've asked me to use: Michael who is tall, left handed and colorblind; sleeping with Carol but married to Heather; working in a post office; owning a cat named Trever, dreaming of being a chef; enjoying Mad Magazine and Facebook. I felt pretty out of this while writing (Nyquil) so it was easier for me to think of lyrics while an instrumental was playing which I included... though you might not wanna listen to it while reading though, because you probably won't be able to decipher the intended tempo - at least not right away. So on second thought maybe reading without the music is better; whichever you prefer. I like the beat though. I wasn't going for substance with the lyrics so much as just trying to tie all of these things together into something relatively cohesive. Admittedly it's kinda cheesey "Confessions"-ish, but that's the point :P If you'd like to do a next verse, I say you can use ANY of the previous topics I've suggested so far for you throughout this battle. Thanks for all the challenges, TV! It's been fun :)


Michael* slipped the heavy bag over his right shoulder
Ready and waiting for his bad day to be night - over
Everybody getting tense, give him eyes as he approaches
So he looks to the side and just pretends he don't notice
So they walk inside, he slips on by, drops bills in their mail box
Head hangin low like he's walking guilty through jail blocks
They say a conscience is like a thousand witnesses
Is that what this is? Found out the girl he's with is with his kid
Like that Usher Raymond song, he thought he'd just play along
Thought she faked it, he's mistaken in the worst way to be wrong
So fail, what now? He wants to bail out on his mail route*
And just run home to Heather*, tell her what he's so scared about
Tell her he'll never get with her again, Carol*, if they're together
Whether she believes him or not he apparently means it's forever
He knows he's been cruel, selfish and conceited
Now defeated - Carol's pregnant, she'll keep it
Now sh!t feels like it's ending, at least suspending
A whole life affected from what took 5 minutes one night conceiving
Heavy breathing, heart steady beating
Feels it'll erupt from his chest and get the best of him immediately
It's really to be the worst day of his humanity
Couldn't even enjoy reading the Mad Magazine*
That he grabbed out of Dan's hand this week...
Gets on Facebook,* asks if any man understands his grief

The cat Trever* plays with Heather's earring on the kitchen floor
Michael looks up hoping to hear what's worth living for
He's hurt the best friend he's had in his life
Now things are going to hell as it ends with his wife
All the strife and the pain that he chose to cause her
Clearly he's unfit to be a father
With a girl who got him to go down without a fight
So sleazy, he's so easy - all she did was compliment his height*
Couldn't quite do right by the nice wife home that night
Bite like pussycats to mice - worst mistake of his life
And looking back he's trying so hard to understand it
She said, "Oh look, it's so cool that you're left handed" *
Like a fool he spoke "I'll show you what these hands can do"
She responded calmly, "I'm blushing, I hope you don't mind it"
He said, "May I remind you, I'm also color-blinded..." *
And she thought he was kidding or just being sexy
No lying about what came next, he just -
Took off his pants, undressed, no romance
Now his chance is ruined to go to France and learn to make food*
Damn now his hands are full as he plans to transcend this truth


Vote Lwerd :P
Debate Round No. 5
14 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by Freeman 5 years ago

"Vote Lwerd :P" - Ok
Posted by tvellalott 5 years ago
Don't stress about it. I really didn't have my heart in this one :/
Posted by Danielle 5 years ago
Regarding the last verse, hopefully I can get to it, but I've been really really sick these past few days so I might not get around to it though I'll certainly try.
Posted by tvellalott 5 years ago
I've got to write this tonight o.O;
Posted by tvellalott 5 years ago
Sounds good to me. I spent my entire weekend getting blitzed and when I woke up for work this morning I was like "I wonder how much time I have left to write that rap... 42 minutes. Damn."
Posted by Danielle 5 years ago
Hehe posted my round within minutes of yours! I was trying to see if I could write something decent in under 30 mins to know whether or not we could do that quickfire battle in the future. I'm down with 20 mins if that's okay with you? Maybe Lyrical Challenge 4? Or just random quickfire battle.
Posted by tvellalott 5 years ago
:O (notallcaps)
Posted by tvellalott 5 years ago
Ohai! o.O; It's 9am in Australia.
Anyway, your three topics are Coffee, Punk Rock and "The Birds and the Bees"
Posted by Danielle 5 years ago
I dunno what time it is in Australia but you better get on soon and gimme my topics cuz I'm getting antsy :p
Posted by Danielle 5 years ago
Haha. Awesome nonetheless! You forgot to give me my topics though...
3 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 3 records.
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