The Instigator
Ethereal
Pro (for)
Winning
15 Points
The Contender
Scyrone
Con (against)
Losing
9 Points

"Machine-Gun Farts" are better than "regular expected farts" UNLESS IN PUBLIC

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 1/1/2008 Category: Entertainment
Updated: 9 years ago Status: Voting Period
Viewed: 2,979 times Debate No: 1248
Debate Rounds (3)
Comments (7)
Votes (8)

 

Ethereal

Pro

I will start by saying the machine gun fart is much better for the following reasons,

-The machine gun fart will startle the user, shake him up a bit, and explode leaving him in a sigh of relief. -pit pit pit pat pit ratatatatata pit pat pit-

-Next he will nausiate the victim or victims nearby.

-Once the victims(s) have been diagnosted with the disease, the user will slowly curve a smile of relief.

-The user may feel Exilirated if he asked a following victim to "pull his finger"

-Not only was the fart loud, it was also very stinky by this time. He has now claimed new territory, his victims heavily wounded, and sure to have escaped the scene just before the second burst of C02 finds its way into the matter.

-By this point the user is completely satisfied! This is a very helpful way to get privacy, or even a bus seat on a crowded bus!

Helpful tool tip- If you are enjoying yourself at a concert or such and those fat women next to you block your view, push, push and push, until the machine gun has fired at its victims.

- So to the opponent who dares challenge the god of farts, your envy must be satisfied, and if it isn't lets think of all the posotiv thigns these farts do...

-Relieve yourself: Confuse and dase your victims: get a laugh: claim territory: enjoy your aroma: get privacy: and lets not forget, getting respect of those who are older and have seen much more dangerous farts.

(pttttpttttttptttttttttttttttttptttttttttttttttt)
Scyrone

Con

Machine gun farts are not better, because they seem wetter and you will have a more likely chance of crapping in your pants.

I know this isn't serious, so I'm not gonna be serious lol

Regular farts give a chance for someone to merely relieve some gas, whether you are in public or not, matters not. A machine gun fart will ultimately leave everyone in disgust of you. And you will most likely be commented with, "SICK!!!" and/or "GROSS!!!!". A normal or regular fart, no matter which frequency, tone, or length will always be normal and considered the greatest fart of all if pulled off exactly in correct terms that deserve a "ALRIGHT!!" and/or "AWESOME!!!". And sometimes people can pull off a silent but deadly smell with a normal fart. A machine gun fart will not be as deadly because it only reminds your body that you have only small pockets of gaseous gases in your body, and no hardcore gases.
Debate Round No. 1
Ethereal

Pro

First off i would like to say im absolutely amazed that you don't think this is a "serious" debate!So now im just gonna get started, lets begin eith your first statement,

-"Machine gun farts are not better, because they seem wetter and you will have a more likely chance of crapping in your pants." ; I am sorry to say that scientific knowledge has proved that loud, repetitive farts are in fact incredibly dry, they are mostly methane from the waste inside your body.

-"Regular farts give a chance for someone to merely relieve some gas, whether you are in public or not, matters not." ; Actually, statistics say that a loud, repetitive fart [the M-GF(machine-gun fart)] is the best way that food can be relieved from your stomache without throwing up. I only say unless in public, because i am reffering to being somewhere where it is rude to fart, regardless of the fart (for example, somewhere really rich, or right before an important speech) Again you seem to think a regular fart is quite, when in reality it is loud, and not repetitive. When you digest food, and it needs a quick way to escape it will often find a M-GF to get it out.

-"A machine gun fart will ultimately leave everyone in disgust of you." I am sorry to say that farting is normal, and healthy. Nobody should hate you because your healthy! Additionally, they may be grossed out at first, or if you have GOOD friends, they will compliment you, but you only prove my point, you get privacy and you claim territory ina healthy normal way!

-" And you will most likely be commented with, "SICK!!!" and/or "GROSS!!!!". A normal or regular fart, no matter which frequency, tone, or length will always be normal and considered the greatest fart of all if pulled off exactly in correct terms that deserve a "ALRIGHT!!" and/or "AWESOME!!!". I dont want to rain on your parade, but as i explained above, a sick or gross is ok! In fact its a compliment! Think about it, they are telling you that you are healthy, normal, and frankly they are complimenting the amont of time and energy put into that methane relief. In addition the M-GF is one of the greatest farts of all, and good friends always compliment it! It will have many different frequency's and tones, and can repeat the stunning shock of the methane bomb. Now you say the NMF(Normal methane fart) can be described as having many different tones and frequencys! How can that be a normal fart is always a "pfft" A M-GF can vary in ways such as (patapitapatapita or; ratatatatatataDING or; ptttttshkkkkkptttshkkkk) If you ask me that deserves a coment such as "Alright!" or "Awsome!"

-"And sometimes people can pull off a silent but deadly smell with a normal fart." Once again you have failed to have superiority! You claim you can pull of a silent but deadly normal fart?! I think you're thinking of the SBD, more commenly known as a silent but deadly. So a deadly smell with a SBD IS possible, but not with a normal fart... A M-GF has one of the most deadly smells, and surely cleans your stomache.

-"A machine gun fart will not be as deadly because it only reminds your body that you have only small pockets of gaseous gases in your body, and no hardcore gases." I have explained this so much above! The M-GF is actually all your food stored in your stomache, when it turns to methane, it is a giant blob of pure methane, when pushed out, the butt hole can only take so much at a time and each one is pinched off, creating multiple strong, deadly farts. And to finally conclude this, on a methane scale(you can usually buy them at gas stations, they can measure methane) a M-GF has been recorded from 26-87! A NMF's top record is 16. This means M-GF is MUCH more deadly.

................-I have disproved everything you've said, and proved that the M-GF is a surely much better fart.

-Thanx, Ethereal D��th
Scyrone

Con

Scyrone forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 2
Ethereal

Pro

It is sad to see that you could not respond in time... I hope the voters do not pentalize you for that... Please at least try to answer the next round, all i can suppose is that you're busy....

Anyway, i will continue on with my side of the debate, so as i said earlier the MGF is a very powerful fart, compared to the regular fart. My opponent seems to get the RMF(regular methane fart) mixed up with the classic SBD(silent but deadly), which i think after he realized that he pretty much gave up on this debate... For more evidence that supports my theory that the M-GF is a better fart than the NMF, i will type a complete list of the pro's and con's of each one. <> ; PRO's : The M-GF is an extremely deadly fart that will daze nearby victims; you can obtain privacy; you can get a few laughs now and again; You're reminded that your body is healthy; Relieves long aching stomache pressure; RELIEVES A LOT OF PRESSURE to clarify that last statement; Will often be complimented by good friends; Loud, deadly, funny, and clean!>> ; CON's: The only thing i can think of is that sometimes the smell is pretty bad to yourself! presonally though i liek my own brand TEE HEE>>

<> ; PRO's: it relieves SMALL pressure : CON's: Not as deadly, not as loud, doesnt relieve as much pressure as the M-GF, not as funny, no different tones, or pitches....Frankly just a bad fart, and i think the M-GF or the SBD could beat it any day! :)
Scyrone

Con

Okay, you say regular farting is bad, but really it is not. The MGF is a lot worse. The MGF depicts a man who farts small bursts, not from the same fart, but from different, seperate farts. Although the regular fart and the MGF CAN be equal, the MGF is more unhealthy because an increased rate of farting causes organic diseases including irritable bowel syndrome. So more farting (your MGF) means it is more unhealthy and you are likely to get more bowel related diseases that way.

"In addition the M-GF is one of the greatest farts of all, and good friends always compliment it"

But this would be classified as being in a public area. And the argument you make clearly says the MGF is better "UNLESS IN PUBLIC". Therefore, you are going against your previous arguments, saying the MGF is better in public.

"How can that be a normal fart is always a "pfft" A M-GF can vary in ways such as (patapitapatapita or; ratatatatatataDING or; ptttttshkkkkkptttshkkkk)"

This is incorrect. Just as a machine gun shoots the same sound frequency at a constant rate, the MGF will do the same. That is why it is called the machine gun fart, because it is a repetitive noise of the exact same frequency. Of course, the regular fart can be classified in one fart. It can be a multiple of different tones or frequencies, but can be long or short too. It is not classified with a name as the MGF is, so it has the right to be different than the MGF.

"I have disproved everything you've said, and proved that the M-GF is a surely much better fart."

Eh, not really.

Here are my sources (you failed to provide yours):

http://www.ccfa.org...

Oh yes, one more thing. You say that a MGF releases more methane, but there is also a possibility that a normal regular fart can be seperated a multiple of time, releasing more methane than the MGF does. It can really go either way fart-wise. But I still stand that regulars are better than MGs.
Debate Round No. 3
7 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 7 records.
Posted by Logical-Master 8 years ago
Logical-Master
Machine-Gun farts are indeed deadly. In fact, drive-by farting is becoming more and more common in the US.
Posted by pmy1635 9 years ago
pmy1635
i must say i am in favor of MG farts because THER FUKKIN AWESOME> ther nuthin better thn lettin 1 rip and then hear the guy in the stall next 2 u fall 2 the ground a grip his umbrella lke a M-16 and hear him scream DAMN COMMIES.
Again I am in favor of MG farts
Posted by Pluto2493 9 years ago
Pluto2493
I just farted.

Farts hurt the enviroment. And they cause cancer. But what doesn't these days.
Posted by Scyrone 9 years ago
Scyrone
Sorry, RL got to me. Work days have been longer, and New Years, and my birthday have all clouded up my schedule. I didn't have time to reply (that and my internet became scientifically challenged [it goes on and then out every once in awhile]).
Posted by Rousseau 9 years ago
Rousseau
No sources from Pro in his round 2, although he did claim several scientific findings. If the Con had capitalized on that at all, then maybe he would have won... But so far, better arguing from Pro. Enjoyable topic though.

Also, Pro is winning because he dropped round 2. In a three round debate, all rounds are completely neccesary. If you drop round 1, that just looks bad. If you drop round 2, you'll have to extend arguments instead of saying why you won. If you drop round 3, then... well... no rebuttals = bad. Ah well.
Posted by Ethereal 9 years ago
Ethereal
why cant you write back? come on at leats try, or agree with me
Posted by Ethereal 9 years ago
Ethereal
heh heh sry that i spelled sum stuff wrong in the second one, i was rushing.... when i said quite i meant quiet..... SRY, regardless please vote on the informatino you have been given. &#9786;
8 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 8 records.
Vote Placed by pmy1635 9 years ago
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Vote Placed by jamie_l_2oo6 9 years ago
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Vote Placed by JustCallMeTarzan 9 years ago
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Vote Placed by Scyrone 9 years ago
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