The Instigator
Ore_Ele
Con (against)
Tied
33 Points
The Contender
BlackVoid
Pro (for)
Tied
33 Points

Marijuana should be legalized

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 11/11/2010 Category: Miscellaneous
Updated: 6 years ago Status: Voting Period
Viewed: 3,415 times Debate No: 13626
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (14)
Votes (16)

 

Ore_Ele

Con

This is meant to be a completely comical and over the top debate. Using logic-lacking arguments, fallacies, and just general WTFs is the point. Voting should be done on whatever side you think was funniest or most extreme, or you can vote however the heck you please.

To whoever accepts this, you may begin in round one or you may pass and I will begin in round two. Whichever seems the most logical to you, do the other.

Thank you,
BlackVoid

Pro

Thanks to con for starting this, I've been waiting for a comical debate to show up.

I ask my opponent to go first so I have a reference to the kind of humor we're trying to use.
Debate Round No. 1
Ore_Ele

Con

I would like to thank my opponent for accepting this debate.

I would like to begin by saying that everything you are about to read, is 100% completely, undeniably true.

Let us begin with a basic overview of the nightmares that this horrific drug, so mildly referred to as "pot" will do to you. Potheads jokingly talk about how "marijuana" gives them a disorder called "the munchies," characterized by a never ending appetite that causes them to devourer anything and everything in their path. [1]

If "dope" were to be legalized, the use of this extremely deadly drug would rise dramatically. [2] The rise in munchies would cause us Americans to eat more food, which would only raise our already fattening obesity rate, which would lead to heart disease and certain death. Not to mention on the other side of us getting fatter and fatter, we would be drawing more and more food, thus causing international food prices to skyrocket, and leading to widespread, global famine. Some estimate that the death toll could be in the tens of billions within 2 years!

However, if that cold hard statistically questionable, yet correct rational (if I do say so myself, which I do) is too vast for a single simple individual to grasp. I have a more personable fact to show you.

Please observe link [3]. This individual smoked a "bowl," and on halloween decided to be a plumber. However, he did not have his own plunger and snuck mine from my bathroom without telling me. This plunger is NOT new, and has never been cleaned, except by toilet water. This clearly shows, that if you smoke "wacky tobaccy" you will be shoving sh!t into your own face!

I rest my case and may the non-"weed"-smoking God have mercy on my opponent's soul!

[1] http://www.xomba.com...
[2] http://www.netmba.com...
[3] http://www.debate.org...
BlackVoid

Pro

"Marijuana has several pros. In addition to medical benefits, it provides increased satisfaction with one's life and helps to solve for many of the Earth's troubling problems."

Its because I agree with this quote by Yours Truly that I stand to affirm this topic.

I was originally going to make over 9000 arguments as to why pot should be legal, however I will not be presenting many arguments of my own since my opponent made most of them for me.

I agree with everything my opponent has said, with the exception of keeping plants illegal. Every single thing.

I would also like to add however that pot is devastating to the body, causing several brain disorders, depression, and high gas prices (1)

That being said,

Point 1. Pot makes people happy, increasing quality of life. Its no secret that people smoke weed because it is enjoyable. I, for example, smoke pot three times an hour, and I love my life. And since I enjoy smoking weed, consequentially everybody enjoys smoking weed. Marijuana is a pleasure stimulant that creates a euphoric sense of pleasure and power. We cannot deny people the ability to increase their quality of life. As the great philosopher, Matt Damon, once said, "Pot rocks! Everyone should use it, its a great stress reliever" (2)

Now, I will turn to the con side as he makes several arguments to support my case.

His thesis is that marijuana legalization will cause Rosie O'Donnel to devour the planet, thus disrupting the space-time continuum and leading to the end of the universe. Or something like that.

But anyway, con makes my arguments for me. He claims legalization increases use which will lead to obesity, heart disease, and worldwide famine.

This leads me to point 2.

2. Death and sickness resulting from legalization will solve for overpopulation.

Humans are a virus (3). We as a race are slowly leading the Holy Earth on a path to destruction. We consume her resources with impunity, and add deadly poisons to the atmosphere. As more and more humans are born, more resources are necessary. Eventually our skyrocketing population will reach the point to where we will consume 100% of the Earth's resources, which means there will be nothing left for all other life. The only solution, marijuana legalization. My opponent concedes that it will lead to global famine and death. This turns all of con's arguments to the pro side. The only way to save the planet and maybe even the universe, is to cause worldwide death. Thus, legalizing mariuana is the only way we can save the Earth from imminent destruction (4)

So in short, if you want to save the planet, vote Pro!

1. http://www.dafk.net...
2. http://encyclopediadramatica.com...
3. http://en.wikipedia.org...
4. http://votepro.com...
Debate Round No. 2
Ore_Ele

Con

My opponent makes the argument, "Pot makes people happy, increasing quality of life... We cannot deny people the ability to increase their quality of life." However, pedophiles, rapists, and murderers all commit their crimes because it makes them happy. Does that mean we should legalize them too? Obviously my opponenet supports legalizing these dangerous crimes and is simply using the legalization of "bongs" as a "gateway law" to reach his ultimate goal of legalizing murder. The simple conclusion is that a vote for legalizing "mary jane" is a vote for raping and murdering little children!

There are still many many dangers that come from smoking "pins" that clearly outweigh the non-existant, make-believe selfish benefits that the users claim. For example, "weed" is more previlant in the gay comunity (there is a reason that cigarettes, including those with "pot" are called "f@gs"). [1] This proves that, logically, if you smoke this stuff, it will turn you gay.

My opponent also makes the comment, "We as a race are slowly leading the Holy Earth on a path to destruction. We consume her resources with impunity..."

Now, I don't make to make any speculations on my opponent's love making abilities (though he admits to getting stoned, so that speaks for itself, since it must have turned him gay), but I've never had a lady complain when I consumed her. Therefore, I can only come to the conclusion that us consuming mother earth (what a MILF) is giving her great pleasure and me must continue our path. Of which marijuana will prevent, as pointed out in round 2 and agreed with by my opponent.

I would like to mention that "potheads" are far more likely to commit various violent crimes. Such as Assault, Theft, and Murder, among others [2]. If we legalize this, it is only obvious that crime is going to skyrocket along with it.

We must also look at how keeping "cannabis" illegal is creating jobs. The US government spent over $44 billion in 2008 fighting these terrible drugs [3], employing more then 200,000 people throughout the entire legal system. Legalizing this stuff would put them out of a job.

Finally, I must ask. Can we really believe anything my opponent says? Just look at his avatar (assuming he does not change it because of this argument), it is clearly some drug-induced image brought on by the heavy "hemp" intake.

[1] http://www.homosexinfo.org...
[2] http://www.whitehousedrugpolicy.gov...
[3] http://en.wikipedia.org...
BlackVoid

Pro

My opponent attempts to argue that doing what I want is a slippery slope to legalizing murder, theft, etc. Once again my opponent makes all my arguments for me. I have already sated that mass destruction of the human race is the only way to save the universe from imminent destruction. This is why we must legalize marijuana, because it will also lead to the legalization of murder. If murder were legal, murder rates would skyrocket and would help us to rid the planet of the human parasite.

He claims smoking weed turns people gay. All the more reason to legalize! If all these new pot users go gay, they will not engage in "sexy time" with women and thus, be unable to produce offspring. This will help furthen my cause to solve overpopulation.

My opponent states Earth enjoys being consumed. However, a renowned plastic surgeon by the name of Amaso nib Nedal, clearly states, and I quote, "the planet's interior exterior furniture design clearly indicates that the ontological intervention radius-spectrum sector of the core desires to survive." Thus, because this expert on Islamic celestial mind-reading states the Earth wants to live, its most definitely true.

He states cannabis criminalization increases jobs. Nontopical. The resolution clearly states we are talking about legalizing gang-rape.

My opponent bashes my avatar. However, his avatar looks like an African-american dog about to be raped by a giant tree trunk. How can you vote for someone who advocates animal rape?

Vote not con!
Debate Round No. 3
Ore_Ele

Con

I thank my opponent for continuing this debate, and will proceed with my final round.

My opponent continues to state that killing all humans is best for the world. I would disagree, since I find sex only enjoyable with humans, and if all the humans die, my sex life will likely be cut in half, and no one wants that. My opponent also states that legalizing pot will help solve our overpopulation problem, however, we would only be legalizing it in the USA, which doesn't have an overpopulation issue, we have an underpopulation issue. China and India have the over population issue. If we have more babies, that will solve so many of our nation's issues. We will have more workers to take our job back from those dope dosing illegal immigrants.

If we want to solve a population problem over in China and India, I can recommend starting a war, those tend to help spark our economies and with the population that they have, we could keep it going for decades, growing our economies to tremendous heights. Though that would be a different debate for a different day.

We still know that legalizing will cost hundreds of thousands of jobs in law enforcement and prevention, will make Americans fatter and fatter.

I have also just learned a horrific fact, regarding pot and WWII Nazis. [1] Please see the youtube attached. Now I know many of you may think, "that can't be true, it looks falsified." However I assure you that this comes from a very reliable source. I saw it on FOX myself.

Thank you.

[1] youtube video
BlackVoid

Pro

I thank my opponent for finishing the entire debate which has been very rare since I've joined this site.

Now onto the defends of my defends of his refutes of his case of my counterplan.

My opponent states that killing humans is bad since it would harm his sex life. I would like to apologize first of all for neglecting this issue, as I was under the impression that my opponent didnt have a sex life in the first place. As for the arg, there is no issue here, as my opponent will be one of the people killed by marijuana legalization. Since he will be dead, he will not need a sex life and thus will never know what he is missing.

My opponent claims this rez is specific to the US and A, however as my opponent clearly stated in his opening round, we are talking about legalizing marijuana on the outer moons of Mars and Neptune. When my opponent makes such ridiculous contradictory claims, how can you vote for him?

He says we need to start a war between China and India. Extend this over to my side. Since both nations possess nuclear weapons, conflict between them will inevitably result in nuke war. As my entire thesis has showed you, the more destruction we create, the more steps we take to saving the planet. Since nuke war would kill millions, its inherently moral and desirable. My opponent continues to list ways to kill people, thus helping me to make my arguments.

He claims legalizing gang rape will lead to more people getting fat. But fat people have higher blood pressure, cholesterol, heart rate, and urinary output. These health risks mean a higher chance of death, thus once again, aiding my cause for solving overpopulation.

Debate summary:

1. I rickrolled my opponent. I win by default. :)

2. All my opponent had to do to win was to say that legalizing will SAVE lives. This would have countered all my arguments about legalization leading to death, which is good. However he didnt.

3. Legalizing = Nuke war = save the planet. Nuke war will also inevitably lead to the death of Miley Cyrus. How can you not vote for that?!

4. Three and a half people in the world, Charles Mansen, Bill O'Reilly, Brett Favre, and Justin Bieber, support legalization. That many people can't be wrong.

I urge a pro vote.
Debate Round No. 4
14 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by Ore_Ele 5 years ago
Ore_Ele
That's fine, I don't really mind.
Posted by BlackVoid 5 years ago
BlackVoid
OreEle I did not ask anyone to vote on this debate, or even mention it. As of now I'm winning due to cam's vote. But because this ended so long ago, its a joke debate, and neither of us want a L on our records from this, I will ask him to make the debate a tie. I hope thats acceptable.
Posted by BlackVoid 5 years ago
BlackVoid
Weird, I was pretty sure you had 29 points a couple days ago.
Posted by Ore_Ele 6 years ago
Ore_Ele
umm... who are the three that you are claiming vote bombed for me?
Posted by m93samman 6 years ago
m93samman
just balancing the votebombs; it's 3-3 now
Posted by Ore_Ele 6 years ago
Ore_Ele
http://www.gametrailers.com...
This is the same video.
Posted by BlackVoid 6 years ago
BlackVoid
Great debate, very fun. I love how you referred to the Earth as a MILF xD.
Posted by BlackVoid 6 years ago
BlackVoid
Can you repost the link here? I cant see it.
Posted by BlackVoid 6 years ago
BlackVoid
Just putting it here if people are wondering. The plastic surgeon is meant to be backwards.
Posted by Ore_Ele 6 years ago
Ore_Ele
I'll just say, if anyone finds the crass humor style of family guy or south park to be offensive, do not read my upcoming argument, just FYI.
16 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Vote Placed by UchihaMadara 2 years ago
UchihaMadara
Ore_EleBlackVoidTied
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Total points awarded:01 
Reasons for voting decision: humor point.
Vote Placed by dtaylor971 2 years ago
dtaylor971
Ore_EleBlackVoidTied
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Total points awarded:30 
Reasons for voting decision: A very close debate this was. Conduct remains tied. Ore_Ele had a more fluent war of writing, and thus wins S&G. Arguments are tied, as both provided great arguments. When it comes to sources, Ore_ele had more reliable sources, as I checked them over. Nothing left to say besides good job to Ore_Ele!
Vote Placed by TUF 4 years ago
TUF
Ore_EleBlackVoidTied
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Total points awarded:13 
Reasons for voting decision: I feel pro proved is point a little bit better than OreEle. Pro used humor, made great arguments on how some of the best people use, and also disproved maany of con's arguments. Good debate.
Vote Placed by cameronl35 5 years ago
cameronl35
Ore_EleBlackVoidTied
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Vote Placed by Koopin 5 years ago
Koopin
Ore_EleBlackVoidTied
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Reasons for voting decision: Bad sources
Vote Placed by Staerkel 5 years ago
Staerkel
Ore_EleBlackVoidTied
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Reasons for voting decision: I was entertained a little more by the pro, also he remained more topical throughout this..er "Debate".
Vote Placed by Cliff.Stamp 5 years ago
Cliff.Stamp
Ore_EleBlackVoidTied
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Reasons for voting decision: Nice job on both parts, simply enjoyed Con a little more, hence the 1 point.
Vote Placed by BillBonJovi 5 years ago
BillBonJovi
Ore_EleBlackVoidTied
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Reasons for voting decision: better arguments and conduct from Con
Vote Placed by m93samman 6 years ago
m93samman
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Vote Placed by jj22racing 6 years ago
jj22racing
Ore_EleBlackVoidTied
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Total points awarded:70