The Instigator
Photographer2188
Pro (for)
Losing
0 Points
The Contender
imabench
Con (against)
Winning
8 Points

Marriage is Outdated

Do you like this debate?NoYes+1
Add this debate to Google Add this debate to Delicious Add this debate to FaceBook Add this debate to Digg  
Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 2 votes the winner is...
imabench
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 1/29/2012 Category: Religion
Updated: 5 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 5,723 times Debate No: 20751
Debate Rounds (2)
Comments (6)
Votes (2)

 

Photographer2188

Pro

Why do we really need Marriage?
To PROVE our love, to show our commitment?

We already do those things!! (those of us in relationships whether it be a boyfriend/girlfriend, or even just a PARTNER if you have been together for a long period with no marriage.) People who are completely for marriage say the ones who are against it are either AFRAID of commitment, or are just "lazy". That's not always true, who are YOU to say we aren't committed?
I am currently in my own COMMITTED relationship of 5 years. We have been through so much together; other women (not the cheating topics), other men, medical issues(currently), even went as far as if I really do love him. I have had my moments of being scared where our relationship would bring us or lead us, I think everyone does. But that doesn't mean its a question of my commitment! I am absolutely committed and I love him immensely.
My choice for not wanting is simple.....I am not interested. There's nothing about it that interests me or even appeal to me. But yet, I'm a horrible person for not wanting this?? Seems a bit ridiculous.
You don't NEED marriage to stay with someone, marriage doesn't make a relationship FINAL. You don't need marriage to make you happy.
imabench

Con

From the Pro's arguments, it sounds a lot like she is speaking out of first person experience and is trying to ridicule how some people take marriage too seriously and that is is rather archaic in modern society. However there are other aspects of marriage that consider it useful.

1) Marriage is currently the only form of commitment that is recognized by the US government and by nations around the world.
2) Marriage is a ceremony where people celebrate the official commitment of love between two people.
3) Marriage can be used to symbolize equality in a society
4) Marriage is used not just to symbolize commitment, but also to symbolize loyalty

- 1 - Marriage is the term used by the government, by every government, to show how two people have formally made an agreement to share ones assets, debts, land, property, etc. In its strictest definition marriage could be argued as not outdated since the government even today recognizes only marriage as a bond between two people (the government doesnt care if your close friends, friends with benefits, bff's, etc) but the government does care if you are married or not. Evidence for this? Being married does influence the amount of income taxes you pay to the government which makes it very relevant to society

- 2 - Marriage is more than just a relationship status you put on facebook, marriage is the formal tradition where two people become one couple in a relationship that is celebrated through bridal parties, bachelor parties, family traditions, etc. That may sound pointless but what Im getting at is that marriage is a celebration where ones friends all gather and celebrate one friend tying the know with somebody else til death, or divorce, do them part. Marriage has its own industry (wedding outfit manufacturers, wedding stores, stores that sell men's tuxedos, etc) so it still plays a role on impacting the economy through the sheer industrial output that has spawned because of weddings

- 3 - This is my strongest point bout how marriage is not outdated. Outdated is defined as something that is antiquated or obsolete, the definition of obsolete being something that is no longer in use to do something. I invite voters to look at gay rights here in the United States, they have the right to vote, right to free speech, right to protest, right to an attorney, however there is one right that they value above all else that they are denied in society, the right to marry. 20 years ago the US did not recognize any form of Civil Union between gays or lesbians, but now states have been granting gays and lesbians the right to marry which helps symbolize their equality to citizens in this country which 20 years ago considered them taboo or genetically inferior. Marriage to gays represents the ultimate form of equality to them, and to claim that marriage is outdated while an entire faction of people here in the US are using marriage as the biggest tool to fight for equality in this nation after years of being oppressed against holds no water.

- 4 - Now on the more personal level, marriage not only symbolizes commitment, but it also symbolizes loyalty. If someone approaches a couple and they are married, that tells the person that those two have declared to the world not only that they have committed to each other, but that they will not even consider having sexual relations with anyone else ever. If that same person now walks up to a couple who are only in a relationship, that tells the person that the two do love each other very much and care about each other a lot, but have not decided to commit to each other for the rest of their lives. Whats the difference?

Marriage is the final level of commitment that two people could possibly make. It may not mean much to the people who are in the marriage but for everyone else in the world it symbolizes how two people have two people have declared their love to one another forever, no other form of commitment symbolizes that.

As for the Pro though, you dont need marriage for happiness, you dont need it to prove something that in your heart you already know is true, and most importantly, not committing to marriage does not mean you dont love him or want to be his true love. I sympathize for you and I respect how you dont want to get married but that you love your counterpart just as much as any married couple loves each other. However that isnt an argument for why marriage is outdated, its an argument for why marriage could be considered a poor reflection of a relationship status....
Debate Round No. 1
Photographer2188

Pro

Um actually there's no first person experience....never been married. Why is there judgment being placed in your argument???

".....formally made an agreement to share ones assets, debts, land..."- So part of it is based on money??? Cause that's not what love is to me at all. Love is about being with someone that makes you feel. And its a beautiful thing, it shouldn't be about money at all!!!
And you're right, my relationship is more than a status update on Facebook, thanks for "reminding" me of that. I am "one" with my partner without marriage, why is it so hard for you to understand that? It is that hard to even for minute think that someone is one as a couple without marriage?? It is possible I PROMISE I'm living proof of that!!!

Ill give you your fight on number 3. Ill rephrase...its not outdated....but its definitely something people are doing less of, and for those who are good for them..its their right and they deserve it. But don't look down on someone who doesn't want marriage.

Number 4 (your argument)- Marriage isn't the only thing that symbolizes commitment. I'm committed, is the fact that I don't want marriage make it that much less of commitment??? If so that's bull! I can guarantee you that even married couples look at other people all the time! Its human nature to be attracted to someone else for a quick second, its not wrong at all we all have "those" feelings every now and then. I still do, I see men all the time that I find attractive! Do I act on those feelings NO cause I'm committed.

I don't need marriage to prove my love to the world!!! I don't care what the world thinks!! Just what I know and feel in my heart and soul. I love and am very much committed to the man in my life. There shouldn't be a FINAL commitment!! Commitment is NEVER final.
imabench

Con

"Um actually there's no first person experience....never been married. Why is there judgment being placed in your argument???"
Im not claiming you were married, I looked at your profile and I can see that you have been in a stable relationship for 5 years now and still are not married. Since your denouncing marriage and voiced how you dont think its necessary or a big deal I assumed that the reason you think marriage is outdated is because of events going on in your personal life, that was all....

" So part of it is based on money??? Cause that's not what love is to me at all. Love is about being with someone that makes you feel. And its a beautiful thing, it shouldn't be about money at all!!!"
Whoah, whoa im not saying marriage is about money, im saying that FORMALLY the process of marriage results in the sharing of ones valuables and funds and that the government uses marital status to assess the amount of income tax waged on a articular person, thus making it relevant to society.... You gotta stop looking at marriage only through how much people love each other, there are other angles to observe.

"I am "one" with my partner without marriage, why is it so hard for you to understand that?"
I do understand that and i respect your independence, the point is though that the random stranger who views commitment between 2 people bases that view off of their relationship status. Since marriage is the ultimate indicator to strangers you are committed to someone else then that makes marriage relevant to modern society.

"Ill give you your fight on number 3. Ill rephrase...its not outdated....but its definitely something people are doing less of"
So it could be argued that through current trends it may become outdated, but as of right now it is not outdated...

"is the fact that I don't want marriage make it that much less of commitment??? If so that's bull! "
Of course it doesnt to people who know you or know how strong your relationship is, but to complete strangers it could look that way since the quickest way to judge a relationship to people is often through marital status...

"I don't need marriage to prove my love to the world!!!"
Im not questioning that!!! Im questioning how you think marriage is outdated solely on the grounds that in some cases the lack of it might imply a poor reflection on the strength of a relationship...

(dropped arguments)
1) Marriage is useful to society since gay and lesbian couples are using marriage to gain equality in the US
2) Marriage has spawned parts of industry making it very relevant to jobs and manufacturing of goods around the world

Marriage (or lack of) may occasionally underestimate the true strength of the commitment between 2 people, but just because something is not a 100% accurate indicator of something doesnt mean its completely outdated or obsolete

I thank the Con for an interesting debate and I thank the voters for reading
Debate Round No. 2
6 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 6 records.
Posted by Photographer2188 5 years ago
Photographer2188
Oldfrith-
Maybe I should just explain it better. As I have said I am new to debating, so please bare with me.
I did word it wrong, I meant to say the Marriage isn't as important anymore as it used to be. As I said below, compared to the 1960s, it has shown a significant decrease. Is it still viewed negatively to be "single" even if we are with someone for so long? Absolutely! But again not as much.

I never said abolish marriage, if anything I still think it should be around =) Here's why:
Equal Rights/Freedom<---Same thing.
Its what I believe, and Ill stand by that till the day I die...same goes for Gay Marriage (I refuse to talk about that again, got me nowhere with the last guy I debated. Eh, oh well maybe next time with a different person. The topic has been tired out unfortunately).
If people still want to have a wedding, psssh GO FOR IT!!! My cousin is getting married in September, and I'm very happy for him. I still get happy when people get married, but its just not for me. I can do without it.
That's all I'm saying. I hope I didn't offend anyone, and hopefully I came off "nicer" this time. I am sorry if I seemed a little childish before was not my intention.
Posted by Photographer2188 5 years ago
Photographer2188
Cases where a couple is together for "X" amount of years, and they just decide to not get married. The rate of marriage has decreased SIGNIFICANTLY!!

In this article it shows in comparison to the 1960s when the marriage rates were high, compared to now. Its even stated how being "single" (even though you have a significant other) was viewed negatively. (I know that it still is. But, not as much.)
http://jennifer-long.suite101.com...

I dont know maybe you find that an interesting article????
And, I apologize for the fact I didnt have this reference up before. I am fairly new to debating and I found this site to improve myself, so please bare with me =)
Posted by DevonNetzley 5 years ago
DevonNetzley
What are those cases??
Posted by Photographer2188 5 years ago
Photographer2188
If you read the rounds I corrected myself. It's not outdated, it's just something that people are not doing as much. There are plenty of cases where people stay together for lets say 25 yrs and never get married (I know people like this).
Posted by Oldfrith 5 years ago
Oldfrith
So... If we say that marriage is outdated... Does that mean we should abolish it?
Posted by DevonNetzley 5 years ago
DevonNetzley
I believe that marriage is most certainly not outdated.
2 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 2 records.
Vote Placed by Neonix 5 years ago
Neonix
Photographer2188imabenchTied
Agreed with before the debate:-Vote Checkmark-0 points
Agreed with after the debate:-Vote Checkmark-0 points
Who had better conduct:--Vote Checkmark1 point
Had better spelling and grammar:-Vote Checkmark-1 point
Made more convincing arguments:-Vote Checkmark-3 points
Used the most reliable sources:--Vote Checkmark2 points
Total points awarded:04 
Reasons for voting decision: I almost wanted to grant Con the conduct vote. Pro was fairly aggressive, but I feel she maintained enough respect by filtering her anger into passion for the subject. Spelling was a no-brainer. Con furnished excellent arguments about alternate angles to marriage. Pro did not refute those arguments in the least. Neither side furnished sources.
Vote Placed by DevonNetzley 5 years ago
DevonNetzley
Photographer2188imabenchTied
Agreed with before the debate:-Vote Checkmark-0 points
Agreed with after the debate:-Vote Checkmark-0 points
Who had better conduct:-Vote Checkmark-1 point
Had better spelling and grammar:--Vote Checkmark1 point
Made more convincing arguments:-Vote Checkmark-3 points
Used the most reliable sources:--Vote Checkmark2 points
Total points awarded:04 
Reasons for voting decision: My reasons lie within my vote. ^.=.^