The Instigator
Pro (for)
4 Points
The Contender
Con (against)
3 Points

Morgan Freeman Jokes

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 1 vote the winner is...
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 9/6/2013 Category: People
Updated: 5 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 5,129 times Debate No: 37436
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (2)
Votes (1)




Debate Procedure

Round 1: Acceptance and Morgan Freeman quote
Round 2,3: Two jokes about Morgan Freeman, not insulting him
Round 4: made-up Morgan Freeman story

Good luck to my opponent. This is for all those Morgan Freeman fans out there! :)

Learning how to be still, to really be still and let life happen - that stillness becomes a radiance. [1]

-Morgan Freeman

Voting: All other categories will be ignored and arguments will be given to the funniest jokes.



I accept. I'll keep my posts short and sweet. Because, as the great Morgan Freeman once said.

"As you grow in this business, you learn how to do more with less.";
Debate Round No. 1


Note: Since I think two jokes per round is a bit short I'll change it to four.

The first time Morgan Freeman saw himself cry in the mirror, he became an old man, and stayed that way his whole life. Ever since then, every time Morgan Freeman cried, it rained in heavan.

Every time when you have diarrhea, Morgan Freeman narrates it, so you appear nobel. In fact, the only reason that you're alive today, JustinAMoffat, is because Morgan Freeman narrated your birth!

Morgan Freeman invented peguins; when he narrates an animal or any creature in a documentary, nature makes it so.

Morgan Freeman has to go through about 5 microphones a day, since once he's done with them, they turn into bars of gold. He uses this profit to create a real Santa Claus, and to research how he created a president with an IQ of 40 through his narration. ( In case that was too ambiguous, I meant George Bush) :)

On to you now, JustinAMoffat.


Morgan Freeman doesn't have sex. He just smiles at a woman and a baby appears in a field of sunshine and kittens.

Morgan Freeman began his narrating career at a young age, when he narrated his own birth.

Morgan Freeman's friends just call him "God".

Morgan Freeman once turned down a role in Jurassic Park because he thought the idea of movie about dinosaurs was silly - going so far as to refer to the prehistoric animals as "damn beasts." Dinosaurs - being surprisingly sensitive creatures, depsite their bellies full of caveman flesh - promptly gave up on living. Scientists sometimes refer to this theory as "not reputable," "completely made up" or simply "entirely illogical, nonsensical and insulting."

Thank you.
Debate Round No. 2


Morgan Freeman cannot re-clone, since that would require unicorn tears.

Morgan Freeman has a silky, velvety voice that is responsible for many great things in this universe. However, his voice sometimes creates tsunamis and earthquakes because of mother nature having an orgasm when listening to March of the Penguins.

Once Chuck Norris lost a game of tic-tac-toe to Morgan Freeman. Chuck Norris then invented racism to get back at him.

My opponent is absolutely correct, Morgan Freeman did narrate his own birth. His exact words were this: I, Morgan Freeman leave my mother's comforting womb. Soon I will make my first poop, one of the many poops in the lifetime of Morgan Freeman.


Morgan Freeman's voice is so soothing, he could inform you he had just slowly skinned your family with a butter knife... and you'd still feel relaxed.

It is widely accepted that the best way to die ever is to be shot by Clint Eastwood while Morgan Freeman narrates the event.

Sometimes Morgan Freeman talks in his sleep... and when he wakes up, he's floating in a cloud bed a sea of maple syrup and swimming puppies.

Historians millenia from now will look back on this period and credit Morgan Freeman as the most prolific man of our time. This is not because of what he has said, but more so that he has been credited with practically every quote known to mankind. Because everyone loves to here Morgan Freeman's voice narrating things. You're imagining reading this in his voice right now. Titty sprinkles.
Debate Round No. 3


Morgan Freeman and his friend once had a bet: If Morgan freeman could still make someone happy even if he were to be incredibly rude . One day Morgan Freeman had an affair with a single young mother. The mother's son can hear grunts oming frhe mother is March of the Pengins. The mother yells: "Oh Morgan! Unh!" Morgan Freeman then comes out of the room and says: " Son, I just did your mother" (even though he didn't). Tears then start weing up in the boys eyes, Morgan freeman is ashamed of what he's done, he shouldn't have done this. But then the boy says: "Thank you Morgan Freeman, but that's actually my dad, he always wanted to be accompanied but a nice black man." Morgan Freeman then hugs the boy and gives him a kitten as a gift. Damn it, says Moses looking through his binoculars.

I thank my opponent for an excellent debate!


...Morgan Freeman narrated this very story. He touched it with his voice like that of an angel and forever blessed it so that you, and all who know the sound of Morgan Freeman's voice, shall forever read this in your head in his voice. This special effect he had on stories with his voice, was so powerful that some worshipped him as a god. They were called Free Men, but they all were wiped out by a mass suicide upon hearing the rumors of Morgan Freeman's death. Ever since then, Morgan Freeman has not allowed people to worship him, nor has he allowed the internet to function without his okay, so as to prevent more misinformation. This delay/obstruction between the world-wide web and your computer is Morgan Freeman's voice... or, as it is commonly known, buffering, loading, and or website maintenance. Ever since then, Morgan Freeman has decided to narrate movies and historical stories so as to keep you entertained, happy, and relaxed. Thi is how he got into narrating. In fact, Morgan Freeman narrated this very story.

Thank you to my opponent. This was perhaps the strangest debate I've ever taken a part of.
Debate Round No. 4
2 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 2 records.
Posted by 2-D 4 years ago
True facts about Morgan Freeman:
Posted by Legitdebater 5 years ago
In my last round, that should have said grunts coming from his mother, and weing should have said welling.
1 votes has been placed for this debate.
Vote Placed by imabench 5 years ago
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Total points awarded:43 
Reasons for voting decision: Both sides had jokes that made me laugh. Pro had 4 that were pretty awesome, and Con had three. Round four for both sides was kinda boring, but rounds 2 and 3 were really enjoyable to read. Since I found 7 jokes very funny, I gave one point to each side since I can conveniently give a point for each joke I found funny, which is also appropriate since it reflects how close this debate was.