The Instigator
DucoNihilum
Pro (for)
Winning
32 Points
The Contender
Labrat228
Con (against)
Losing
9 Points

My chances of finding a girlfriend are likely less that than of my peers.

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 7 votes the winner is...
DucoNihilum
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 9/13/2008 Category: Miscellaneous
Updated: 8 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 8,749 times Debate No: 5374
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (123)
Votes (7)

 

DucoNihilum

Pro

My argument is simple, the chances of my finding a girlfriend, or a 'partner' (EG, mutual interest with a girl) is less than that of my peers.

I will allow at least one round for question / answer session if my opponent chooses to do so. I reserve the right to refuse to answer especially personal or embarrassing questions.

For some BG info....

* I am 19 years old
* I am a male
* I am heterosexual
* I have a strong desire for a girlfriend
* I have had one girlfriend
* We didn't touch each other in any way, our status was debatable
* I am shy, and may have AvPD
* I am short, 5'4
* I am geeky/nerdy
* I do go to parties, but my interactions with girls are less than suitable.
* I have never kissed a girl
* I generally come on too strong, or too weak- but for the most part girls aren't interested in me in the first place
* I prefer more thin (not overweight) white girls. Chances are far less likely of me dating a girl who is excessively overweight, or notably 'not white'.
*So far as this debate goes, "Peer" shall be defined as average college student, of at least normal intelligence, who is not overweight, and who is straight.
* I am not willing to do anything long distance- long distance relationships suck.

*Girlfriend shall be defined as A girl whom has interest in me, when I have interest in her, to the point where we "go out". Mutual interest is a very important factor of this, so that no girl can be my girlfriend, even if we date, unless she is actually interested in me for natural reasons. If she were to be interested in me to extort me, or to gain something otherwise (EG: bribes, gold digger, etc), she would not be considered my girlfriend under this regard.

My opponent may start with his Q/A and/or his debate as he wishes.
Labrat228

Con

Hello Duco, I wish you good luck in this debate.
I do have one question:
Could you please describe a girl you would be interested in? (Be reasonable)

1) Their are 24,047 people in the city you live in. For every 100 females age 18 and over, there are 83.3 males. So their are some obviously lonely females hanging around your city. (Wikipedia)

2) Your obviously desperate (your debating a 14 year old boy about you being able to date), I can guarantee that their is a girl, who is your type, that is as desperate as you are right now. Jeeze, i feel like I'm talking to a girl who just broke up with her boyfriend and is saying she will never find love again.

3) How did you meet your girlfriend?
Debate Round No. 1
DucoNihilum

Pro

Thanks for accepting this debate.

I would like to ask voters not to vote for my opponent simply out of pity for me, or for any other reasons- unless he is indeed the best debater.

To answer your question, I would be interested in a girl who;

* Is somewhat attractive, although not necessarily especially attractive. I need to be attracted to her in some way physically. I prefer girls who are more thin, more short (as I am 5'4 myself), and more pretty in the face. So far as body goes, I am fine with most (ignoring weight), and would prefer the B-C range rather than A or above C. I also prefer girls who are more white in color, however, there may be some exceptions to that.

* Is interested in me. It's important that there is at least some initial interest in me, which for me at least is a major problem. I'll get back to this later.

* Is a person that I can at least have a moderately intelligent conversation with. She doesn't have to be incredibly smart, however, if she's very dumb that would be a major turn off.

* Is not a slut/ loose / easy. I prefer girls who would find me special, rather than finding everybody with male private parts 'special enough'.

* Is accepting of my viewpoints, including religion and political views. She does not have to agree with me, however she must accept me and must not damn me to hell.

* She must be at least somewhat supportive- if she is mean to me, critical, etc it simply won't work.

* She must accept my photography, she can't think I'm creepy

* She must be between 18-20 (or very close to that age)

* She should be a college student, at my college, or living close enough to me where we could reguarly see each other.

1. I agree that there are plenty of lonely ladies hanging out around my city. However, their simple existence does not mean that they will be interested in me in any way. I have been interested in several single ladies since I started going to school hear. For each one of them, any number of unfavorable events would happen. She would either not be interested in me at all, forcing me to forget about her. She might be mildly interested in me to begin with, but be turned off by my social awkwardness, inability to properly flirt / mingle etc, she might be downright creeped out by me.

There have been at least two girls who I thought it was a possibility that they might like me. While I would not have put this possibility to be very high, it wasn't entirely unlikely. I have liked several other girls, however, they showed no real or imagined indications that they were interested. For these two that may have been interested, one of them now rather dislikes me. I am afraid I may have came on too strong, too desperate, or too weird. Regardless, she now does not even say 'hi' to me if she happens to see me.

For the other girl, soon after I started to become interested in 'making a move' on her, she ended up going out with another guy. If there was any initial attraction at all, I either didn't move quickly enough or it just wasn't going to happen.

These are just a few examples of my absolute ineptitude so far as this subjeect goes.

2. She may be desperate, but not desperate for me. I am simply undesirable, if it is my social awkwardness, or my not so good looks, every girl I have liked in recent times has either not liked me back, or nothing has come out of my interest in her. This is what I feel it will be like for a very long time.

3. I met her in high school, we broke up about 3 years ago. It was long distance, and we didn't do anything physically. We mostly spoke online, and I have not had a 'girlfriend' since, if you could even consider her to be, at the time, my girlfriend.

EXTRA- I think it is very possible that I have Avoident Personality Disorder. Although I have been working hard to fix it myself, I am still socially inept so far as girls go, and absolutely none have thought of me as more as I would a guy. (So, I think of guys in a totally platonic way. They might make good friends, however, I would never date a guy. Girls think of me in this way as well, might make a good friend, but the prospect of 'dating' me must be ridiculous.)

If I do in fact have AvPD- if you note others who have AvPD they are in similar situations, however older. I have read about 40 years olds with AvPD, who have never kissed a girl, much like my situation right now at 19. If I am to continue this, and certainly as of now, I am far less likely to be involved with a girl than my peers.

Most (or almost most) people at my age have had sex, I have not.

The vast majority have been kissed

Most have fooled around in some way (made out)

The vast majority have at least cuddled, held hands, or done something showing mutual attraction. I have hugged or been hugged out of friendship, nothing more.

I am clearly less likely to find a girlfriend than my peers.
Labrat228

Con

I will return the obvious, do not vote for me unless deserved.
My opponent Answered the question:
Could you please describe a girl you would be interested in? (Be reasonable)
The fact that he answered the question by describing a girl, means that he feels he could get the girl of his description. (please note I said "Be reasonable")

I find that it is highly likely that their is a girl that will find Duco irresistible one day. Ever heard of the story "Beauty and The Beast"? Perhaps nothing else matters and we are destined to find someone in the end. Or maybe scientist are correct in saying its all in genetics. Have you ever heard the saying, Opposites attract? It seems that in all circumstances Duco is destined for a "Girlfriend"! And if opposites really do attract, Duco is in for a Very good looking girl! No offense!
Debate Round No. 2
DucoNihilum

Pro

You say simply be describing a girl I might be interested in means that I beleive I could get such girl. This argument is inherently fallacious. People can be interested in girls they have no chance of getting, even if they are being 'reasonable'. This would assume all people have the same exact standards, so that all of the girls I was interested in were likewise interested in me. If such were true, this debate would be a non issue.

I find it highly unlikely that I will.

If you try to add two plus two into a standard calculator, trying to make five forever, yet always getting 4, should you assume that if you do it enough you will get five? Realistically, you will never get five.

Opposites do not attract- the term is stupid, and wrong. Not to mention out of context, considering the term refers to 'mental opposites', or 'opposites in personality', not opposites in attractive qualities.

F/M, Beauty and the best is a made up fairy tale- The beast, while physically unattractive had an appalling personality to Beauty. My personality is appealing to no girls.
Labrat228

Con

My opponent is simply taking a shot in the dark. He feels that he can predict that it is unlikely for him to find a girlfriend, its like taking a coin and saying that it is unlikely it will land on "Heads". My friend, please remember, in that case, it is also unlikely it will land on "tails". As human beings we cant predict the future, Duco can in no way say he will not find a girlfriend.
Debate Round No. 3
DucoNihilum

Pro

It's an unfortunate reality that my opponent is grasping for straws at this point in the debate. I am making no claim that I can predict the future with 100% accuracy. Humans can indeed predict the future with varying degrees of accuracy, and they can also attribute some form of basic probability to outcomes. This is not because we can see in the future, but because we are rational. If you drive 120MPH down the freeway, you know that there is a probability of death. If you stand in the middle of a burning house fire, you should realize that it is quite probable that you will die. It is not certain that you will die as you have not died yet, but does your reason not tell you "If I do not leave I will most likely die".

I have already demonstrated why I believe I have lower chances than that of my peers, so it is far more complex than a simple flip of the coin. If all human actions were like this (that one might have to guess on), life would be utter chaos. You are over simplifying the argument, and have clearly ran out of things to argue.

I have provided the most sound argument, whereas my opponent is now denying the very possibility of human reason making logical decisions about probability. Please vote PRO.
Labrat228

Con

My opponent has failed to realize that it is just as likely, as not that he will find a girl friend. He stated the following things: "If you drive 120MPH down the freeway, you know that there is a probability of death. If you stand in the middle of a burning house fire, you should realize that it is quite probable that you will die. It is not certain that you will die as you have not died yet, but does your reason not tell you "If I do not leave I will most likely die"."
These are certain things. Cause and effect. Fire = Burns. Duco being geeky doesn't have a direct correlation with his ability to date a girl. A number of factors come into play. Yes you have listed reasons why you feel you have lower chances than your peers. But please realize that the same reasons work towards the opposite!
Lets look at a quote from a resident female on the site.
theLwerd:
"Duco, I have to say this... you are ADORABLE (lol I've seen your video debate). Now I'm not sure what the 98 comments before this have said, but since I'm probably one of the few females on this site, let me just say this -- you have to stop looking as your perceived nerdiness as a hinderance or downfall and instead use it to your advantage!!! Work it. (For those who say it can't be done, you're obviously just not good enough to do it right...) That is all."
Please note that my opponent's Argument was based on opinion.
He did not prove that his "nerdiness" effects his ability to date.
I have used a very little bit of factual information, but every little bit counts!
I have givin reason as to how his "nerdiness" may help him (The Quote)
Vote Con!
Debate Round No. 4
123 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by bthr004 8 years ago
bthr004
122 comments!?

I think I have a pretty good idea as how you guys can improve your chances.
Go outside for starters.
Posted by DucoNihilum 8 years ago
DucoNihilum
When?
Posted by Kleptin 8 years ago
Kleptin
When Duco's married and has kids and brings up a copy of this site on some antiquated technology much like how we'd flip through B&W photo albums, this is going to make for lots of giggles XD
Posted by s0m31john 8 years ago
s0m31john
Normal people don't join and particpate in online debate communities. You're already here so...

ONE OF US
ONE OF US
Posted by Rezzealaux 8 years ago
Rezzealaux
"Why can't you all be more... normal?"

Da same norm dat brings yoo guys walking into class halfway through the period with earphones on and pants half off, da same norm dat brings you AP classes where half the people are cheaters or leechers, da same norm dat brings you girls who have no sense of identity if their friends are not around, DA SAME NORM THAT MAKES ALL THESE TEENAGERS AROUND ME UNINTELLIGENT AND REJECT ANY AND ALL TYPES OF ACTUAL THINKING!?!!

Sanks, but no sanks.

"At first, I thought it was kinda cool that you all liked anime... then came all the sexual stuff... then came the social stuff... arrgh."

It ish called Presumptions. Do not make too many of them.

Ditto to LM.
Posted by Logical-Master 8 years ago
Logical-Master
I negate. Not only does conflict provide plenty of entertainment but it lets people like me show just how badass they can be behind a computer.

But seriously, it doesn't look like much of a warzone here so I wouldn't worrry about anything, Joe.
Posted by PoeJoe 8 years ago
PoeJoe
I suggest an all-way truce.
Posted by Logical-Master 8 years ago
Logical-Master
I think the thelwerd is attractive. ;)

In other news though, I can't help but note how popular this comment section is. I mean really, 115 comments in two days here. That's like a record for this site.
Posted by PoeJoe 8 years ago
PoeJoe
Wow... this has turned into one big mess.
Posted by DucoNihilum 8 years ago
DucoNihilum
@Why can't you all be more... normal? At first, I thought it was kinda cool that you all liked anime... then came all the sexual stuff... then came the social stuff... arrgh.

Wowh, you guys? I'm not John.
7 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 7 records.
Vote Placed by magpie 8 years ago
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Vote Placed by PoeJoe 8 years ago
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Vote Placed by DucoNihilum 8 years ago
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Vote Placed by s0m31john 8 years ago
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Vote Placed by Labrat228 8 years ago
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