The Instigator
sadolite
Pro (for)
Winning
58 Points
The Contender
Loofa
Con (against)
Losing
53 Points

My jokes are funnier than yours.

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 2/19/2008 Category: Entertainment
Updated: 9 years ago Status: Voting Period
Viewed: 2,603 times Debate No: 2788
Debate Rounds (5)
Comments (13)
Votes (28)

 

sadolite

Pro

My jokes are funnier than yours (1 joke per round) Try this one on for size

A Game Warden from Kentucky is making patrols along the Kentucky-Tennessee border and in the distance he sees some movement on the ground. As he draws closer he begins to shake his head in a perplexing manner and pulls out his cell phone and calls the Game Warden from Tennessee. The call goes like this: "Ya, can I talk to the Game Warden in your state that's in charge of patrolling the Tennessee-Kentucky boarder, this is the Game Warden from Kentucky on the other side of the boarder." A moment goes by and the Game Warden from Tennessee says, "What can I do for ya, is there a problem?" The Game Warden from Kentucky says, "Ya ,we got one of your animals from your state stuck in one of our hunters traps and you need to come dispose of it properly." The Game Warden from Tennessee says, "How the hell do you know if it's an animal from Tennessee?" The Game Warden from Kentucky says, "That's easy, it' done chewed off three of it's legs and it's still stuck in the trap!"
Loofa

Con

Three Guys walk into a bar, you think one of them would of seen it.....................................................................................................................................................
Debate Round No. 1
sadolite

Pro

These two starving bums are walking through an alley when one of them sees a dead cat. He runs over, sits down and starts to eat the cat, tearing the meat from its limbs. He says to the other bum, "Hey, I know you're hungry, too. Why don't you eat some of this cat?""Hell no!!!" replies the second bum, "That cat's been dead for days, he's all stiff and cold and smelly!" The first bum says, "Okay, suit yourself," and continues to eat everything, skin, muscle, guts, all but the skeleton.A few hours later as they are walking down the street the first bum says, "Oh, I don't feel so good. I think there might have been something wrong with that cat." And just then, he pukes up a huge puddle of rotten cat flesh and guts with stomach bile mixed in, all half digested and looking like mush. The second bum sits down next to the puddle and says, "Now you're talkin'! It's been months since I had a WARM meal!!!"
Loofa

Con

A violinist says to his wife, "Oh, baby, I can play you just like my violin."

His wife replies, "I'd rather have you play me like a harmonica!"
Debate Round No. 2
sadolite

Pro

Two hikers are out hiking. All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them.
They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first hiker gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on.
The second hiker says, "What are you doing?" The first responds, "I figure when the bear gets close to us, we'll have to jump down and make a run for it."
The second says, "Are you crazy? Don't you know you can't outrun a bear?
The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear... I only have to outrun you!"
Loofa

Con

Loofa forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 3
sadolite

Pro

This man who had spent his whole life in the desert comes to visit a friend.
He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the Rail Road tracks one day, he hears this whistle, whooo whooo but doesn't know what it is. Predictably, he's hit, but only a glancing blow and is thrown to the side of the tracks, with some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises. After weeks in hospital recovering, he gets out of the hospital and goes to his friends house that evening. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the tea kettle whistling. He grabs a baseball bat from the closet and smashes the tea kettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend, hears all of the noise and rushes into the kitchen, sees what's happened and asks the desert man: "Why'd you ruin my good tea kettle?" The desert man says: "Man, you gotta kill these things when they're small."
Loofa

Con

I Missed My Last Round So I'll Put In Two For This Round:

A blonde walked into a store and asked one of the employees there if she could buy dishwasher. The employee replied, "No we don't sell to blondes." So she went and dyed her hair brown. She went back to the store and asked the same guy if she could buy the diswasher and the employee said, "No we don't sell to browns." So she went and dyed her hair red and went back to the same store and asked the same guy if she could buy the dishwasher. The guy replied, "No we don't sell to blondes," the blonde looked confused and asked, "How did you know i was a blonde?" Then guy replied, "That's a microwave!"

______________________________________________________________________________

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules. "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female
students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time." He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?"

At this, a male student in the crowd inquired, "How much for a season pass?"
Debate Round No. 4
sadolite

Pro

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, "What's wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said he was going to give him a companion and it would be a woman. He said, "This person will cook for you and wash your clothes. She will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear you children and never ask you to get up in the night to take care of them. She will not nag, and will be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give you love and compassion whenever needed." Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?" God said, "An arm and a leg." Adam said, "What can I get for just a rib?" The rest is history.
Loofa

Con

Three men are debating of which nationality adam and eve were. The first guy is French. He says "Obviously they were French who else would run around with no clothes on in a big garden of love" But the American says,"No they were in paradise and everything was great it was america" Then a Russian says they have no house no clothes no property and theyre told its paradise. This was russia
Debate Round No. 5
13 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by sadolite 8 months ago
sadolite
6 years since it was last voted on LOL. Talk about necro vote
Posted by Kusfraba 9 years ago
Kusfraba
Well, seeing as Pro Round 5 was the only funny, new joke, that's where my vote goes.
Posted by kenicks 9 years ago
kenicks
Heard most of them before. Repetitive.
Posted by Korezaan 9 years ago
Korezaan
I really don't find any of the PRO's jokes funny outside of his R5.
Posted by sadolite 9 years ago
sadolite
Look at the avatars of me and loofa at the top, it looks like I'm gonna throw sea weed at loofa while he's not looking.
Posted by sadolite 9 years ago
sadolite
I've been approved, Thank ya thank ya vury much!!
Posted by Kleptin 9 years ago
Kleptin
I approve of this topic. We should have more of these.
Posted by left_wing_mormon 9 years ago
left_wing_mormon
It will be hard to top the Adam in Eden joke...lol (I AM NOT A SEXIST)...but it is still funny...
Posted by sadolite 9 years ago
sadolite
Why is telling jokes evil? Absolutely no sense of humor.
Posted by Kusfraba 9 years ago
Kusfraba
*sigh* time to choose the lesser of two evils...

by the way Logical-Master, I always thought that the joke had two muffins...? Not that it matters, of course.
28 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Vote Placed by KingDebater 8 months ago
KingDebater
sadoliteLoofaTied
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Vote Placed by BewareItsAndrew 7 years ago
BewareItsAndrew
sadoliteLoofaTied
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Vote Placed by tmhustler 7 years ago
tmhustler
sadoliteLoofaTied
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Vote Placed by MTGandP 7 years ago
MTGandP
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Vote Placed by JBlake 7 years ago
JBlake
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Vote Placed by Mangani 8 years ago
Mangani
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Vote Placed by Sweatingjojo 8 years ago
Sweatingjojo
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Vote Placed by Labrat228 8 years ago
Labrat228
sadoliteLoofaTied
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Vote Placed by sadolite 8 years ago
sadolite
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Vote Placed by s0m31john 8 years ago
s0m31john
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