Nicolas Cage caused the government to shut down so he could steal the Declaration of Independence
However, the TRUTH is that the government shut down was caused by Nicolas Cage in a plan to steal the Declaration of Independence for whatever reason he may have come up with (Odds are its an invisible treasure map on the back of it that leads to a massive treasure)
I will provide evidence that this is the truth, con will argue that it is not true
I accept this debate and look forward to a great round between myself and my opponent!
Ill get right to it: evidence that Nicolas Cage shut down the government to steal the Declaration of Independence:
1) Nicolas Cage has a knack for doing crazy sh**
We literally have a franchise of movies of him going after vital historical treasures in the search for other kinds of treasure.... Not only that, Nicolas Cage does crazy sh** in general. I mean for f*cks sake, he said yes to Ghostrider 2 and actually named his son 'Kal-el', which is actually Superman's birth name.
Thats right, he actually named his son the same name as Superman
2) Its pretty feasible to get Congress to shut down.
I mean come on, the president is black so you know something bad was going to happen. (Literally every hollywood movie where the president is black has some apocalyptic event threatening the world.... Deep Impact, 2012, Idiocracy, etc). It was almost a given that Congress was going to self destruct sooner or later.
All Cage would have to do is convince a few Republicans that Obamacare would destroy America (a very easy thing to trick a Republican Congressmen into believing) and literally sit back and wait for nature to take its course..... Its like when your girlfriend says something about your dad and then walks away, just waiting for you to bring it up again and fight about it......
3) The best time to steal the Declaration of Independence would be when the government is shut down.
I mean during normal times when Congress is only almost completely incompetent, the Declaration of Independence lies in the National Archives under heavy guard and under heavy watch, where its impossible to steal in one piece...... But with the government shut down, the National Archives can easily be broken into.
All Cage would have to do is sneak in with his team, have a nerd knock out the security cameras, kill a janitor or two, steal the Declaration of Independence, and then carve religious symbols into the dead bodies to make it look like the Illuminati did it so that the US government would then ask Tom Hanks to follow a completely different set of clues to try to solve the murders as a distraction while Cage does whatever he wants with the Declaration of Independence.
Sounds crazy I know, but who's the only person crazy enough to try something like that?
Thats right, Nicolas f*cking Cage.
4) What could cage possibly want with the Declaration of Independence?
There are several theories for why Nicolas Cage is stealing the Declaration of Independence......
1 - Obama put an invisible map on it showing where and how to kill Miley Cyrus
2 - George Washington put invisible instructions on it explaining how to bring future president Ronald Reagan back to life
3 - Jefferson put invisible porn pics on it meant to be seen by Bill Clinton
4 - The illuminati put an invisible clue on it that leads to the revelation that Mormanism is the one true religion
5 - To find out what Scientologists did with the REAL Declaration of Independence and managed to leave a fake one in its place without anyone noticing
6 - Cage is suffering from a mental disease where he thinks its his destiny to act out all his movies in real life
7 - Cage is following clues to find out how the Chiefs are undefeated and why the Giants cant win a single game
8 - Cage is trying to find the prophet of Christianity meant to restore faith into the world: Tim Tebow.
9 - Someone dared him to
10 - Because he literally can since the government is shut down right now.
Starting with the Con case:
As the Negative I will argue that my opponent's arguments are false and should not be voted for.
My opponent argues that Nicolas Cage caused the Grid Lock, and used it to steal the Declaration of Independence. This cannot be true however, because Nicolas Cage is not the Nicolas Cage my opponent thinks he is. He is John Travolta.
1. John Travolta and Nicolas Cage never really switched back at the end of Face/Off (1997), but rather Travolta used this swap to allow himself to perform undercover acts for the Scientologists and leave all the blame on Nicolas Cage.
In the movie Face/Off, Travolta and Cage have a face transplant performed to try and ruin the other one's life . The end of the movie allows the audience to assume that they switch back, but it is never shown. This is because the scientologists had this part of the movie erased to keep Travolta with Cage's face. This was a key part in the plan of the Church of Scientology because it allowed them to portray Cage as a crazy person, but get him close enough to things like the Declaration of Independence without drawing attention to the scientologists. Nicolas Cage was raised as a Catholic but ever since 1996 (a year before Face/Off was released, yet it was in production) has denied having a religion because Travolta was trying to keep the scientologists out of the scene. I also want to say that most, if not all, of the actions my opponent talks about Cage doing were done after the release of Face/Off, meaning all of them were done by John Travolta.
2. The Scientologists needed the Travolta-Cage to star in movies like National Treasure to get close to the Declaration of Independence and learn the best ways to steal it.
The Scientologists need the Declaration of Independence, a very important and cherished American Document, to fully assert their power. The CoS is recognized as a "official" religion in the US, but that is not enough. It is still watched by many groups and parties that do not trust it nor it's members. If it had the most important document of the most important country, and it held it ransom, it would be able to fully declare that it is not a force to be reckoned with. All the time stories are posted in the news about the "cult-like" aspects of the church, as seen when Tom Cruise's wife divorced him and "told all" about her experience, but these are all acts from anti-Scientology groups who still suppress the people's ability to partake in their chosen religion. To stop these groups is the reason why the Scientologists need the declaration of independence, and why John Travolta (acting as Cage), shut down the government to take it.
Onto the Pro Case:
1. My opponents first argument is that Nic Cage is known for doing this sort of crazy stunt. But the examples he lists are all events that happened after the filming of Face/Off, meaning it was never Cage that performed these acts and "crazy stunts" but rather Travolta acting upon the wishes of the CoS.
2. I have two arguments against my opponents second point. The first is that he assumes that since the President is black that bad things will happen, but that is not true. Some of the US's most remembered real-life tragedies happened under a white president (9/11, Pearl Harbor, etc). Simply having a black president did not attribute to hardships in our government. My second argument is that I concede to the point about how easy Congress would be to destroy from the inside-out. The Scientologists knew this and that is why they chose to act now rather than some other time.
3. I also concede to the point that the best time to steal the DoI would be when the government is shut down. Again, that is why the Scientologists acted now rather than some other time.
4. My opponents 4th argument lists reasons why Cage would need the Declaration of Independence. But I again would like to stress that Nicolas Cage is no longer a real person, but rather a disguise for Travolta to use when acting in the name of the CoS. None of those reasons apply because the Nicolas Cage my opponent speaks of is a fake. As I already stated in my second argument on the Con case, the scientologists have a reason to get the DoI in order to assert their stance that they are a force to not be reckoned with.
I strongly urge you all to vote Con because this resolution cannot be true because, as I have stated, the Nicolas Cage of the present is only a disguise for Travolta to act out the wishes of the CoS. Thus, it was John Travolta who shut down the government to steal the Declaration, not Cage. Thank you. I look forward to my opponent's rebuttal.
 - http://www.imdb.com...;
Well no sh*t John Travolta is seriously in the body of Nicholas Cage, it was Nicolas Cage's idea to switch bodies and not switch back after the movie face/off in the first place!
I assumed this was all common knowledge, but if its not then allow me to explain:
The Church of Scientology was hellbent on obtaining the Declaration of Independence because it is the key to their plan of becoming one of the worlds major religions, instead of a minor one that resembles a cult, and there were other motives as well that con listed..... Unfortunately, the Church of Scientology is completely retarded, and couldnt put together a plan for obtaining it since the US refused to sell the Declaration of Independence, and money was the only weapon the Church of Scientology ever had.
Enter: Nicolas Cage
Nicolas Cage was in a deep financial crunch at the time, and to this day he is still on the brink of bankruptcy. (http://www.celebritynetworth.com...) Cage needed an a**load of money and fast to support his rather insane lifestyle, otherwise he would slide into oblivion...... And what does the Church of Scientology have that Cage needed?
Thats right, a sh*tload of money.
The plan was rather complex: Cage would sell the idea to the Church of Scientology, yet still involve himself within the plan so that:
1) The Church of Scientology nor John Travolta f*cks it up (The Church of Scientology has a history of making stupid mistakes and Travolta said yes to Battlefield Earth, so naturally Cage had good reason to think that they would be too incompetent to carry out his plan) and
2) Once the Declaration of Independence was stolen Cage could charge double or nothing to the Church of Scientology, which would cement his financial stability for the future.
3) If however there DID turn out to be some invisible secret map or truth that could lead the way to a treasure that would drawf anything the Church of Scientology would ever pay him, then Cage would still be holding all the cards.
and 4) If the plan failed then Cage could simply blame Travolta, who would be switched back into their respective bodies by the Church of Scientology, who would make sure to not be traced to any involvement in the plot. Cage would go free, the Church would be unsuspected of anything related to the crime, and Travolta would keep quiet because the Church would still promise him the position of Scientology Pope or whatever its called.
To pull this off with minimal resistance from the government, Cage, as John Travolta, and Scientology would pull some strings and cause Congress to implode on itself since for the right amount of money you can get a Congressmen to do just about anything, except be effective. For Cage to maintain his brand of craziness though, John Travolta would have to stand in and do it on his behalf, so Cage agreed to let Travolta (in Cage's body) have all his franchises and movies and in exchange Travolta would give Cage all the proceeds and credit from the performance he gave in Pulp Fiction.
What would Travolta gain from all of this? Well if the plot was successful or unsuccessful, Travolta was promised the position of leader of the Church of Scientology, which was more then enough to donate his life to this cause.
So yes, Nicolas Cage switched bodies with John Travolta in a plot with the Church of Scientology. However, this was Nicolas Cage's idea all along and he is still the one holding all the cards and running the operation, hes just doing it in the body of John Travolta.
This has been a fantastically hilarious debate and I have had a ton of fun participating in it. Thank you imabench!
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