The Instigator
CAPLlock
Pro (for)
Tied
0 Points
The Contender
Haasenfeffor
Con (against)
Tied
0 Points

Ninjas are better then pirates

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Post Voting Period
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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 2/19/2011 Category: Entertainment
Updated: 6 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 1,324 times Debate No: 14855
Debate Rounds (5)
Comments (3)
Votes (0)

 

CAPLlock

Pro

Ninjas are better because they are really fast and blend in well with whats around them. Pirates are fat sailors that prey on weak while ninjas prey on everyone . Ninjas can also wield weapons such as bow n' arrows, shurikens, and swords. Whats stopping pirates from using these weapons?
Haasenfeffor

Con

Go Pirates!
Two words: Undead monkey.
Debate starts next round. Good luck!
Debate Round No. 1
CAPLlock

Pro

Undead monkeys have nothing to do with ninjas or pirates.
But my debate is the first post.
Haasenfeffor

Con

uh...hello? Pirates of the Carribean undead monkey...? Moving on.
Pirates are superior to ninjas for a variety of reasons. The first is accessibility. Nearly every coastal civilization has been plagued by pirates at one time or another. Ninjas prowled in Japan up until the Meiji Restoration (1860's), and thus are completely irrelevant to most of the people who have ever lived on Earth. Whether there are authentic modern ninjas is uncertain, but there are certainly modern pirates.

Assuming modern ninjutsu schools are authentic, it would still be better to become a pirate than a ninja. Rather than years of tedious training, all one needs is a small boat, a few mounted automatic weapons, and a general lack of respect for international law.

The rewards of piracy are many. Pirates can accumulate material wealth in the form of treasure, valuable goods to be traded, or wealthy aristocrats to ransom. If they play their cards right, pirates can also spend most of their time sailing around in pleasant parts of the world like the Caribbean. When on land, they can enjoy the company of pirate wenches. Note that there are no ninja wenches.

Clearly, popular culture has accepted pirates more thoroughly than ninjas. There is no "Ninja English" option on Facebook, nor is there an International Talk Like a Ninja Day. There aren't any Gilbert and Sullivan operas about ninjas, and Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom have never played ninjas. Batman is not a real ninja. There are no professional sports teams in the US called the "Ninjas."

Pirates are simply more marketable than ninjas. They have great hats, parrots, peg legs, and they make people walk the plank. They even have a recognizable logo: the Jolly Roger. It has caught on so well that some military units use the design in their insignias and victory flags to capture the strong, tough, and intimidating nature of pirates.

Pirates have better PR agents. Captain Morgan visits campus bars regularly and hands out free merchandise, but no ninja impersonator has ever given me anything. This brings up another good point: Captain Morgan is a famous pirate. There are lots of famous pirates, and they have cool names like Blackbeard, Black Bart, and Calico Jack. There are not many famous ninjas, teenage mutant turtles aside. This may be because ninjas are not social.

Manning a ship, however, requires many people, so pirates are found in groups. They sing sea shanties like "Blow the Man Down" and "Haul on the Bowline." They also drink ale and other alcoholic beverages. Besides being excellent ways to preserve carbohydrates, these beverages were much safer to drink than seawater.

Despite being outlaws, pirates had a certain morality about them. In the golden age of piracy, pirate crews often formed limited democracies at a time when that type of government was uncommon. The crew would elect the captain and the quartermaster. Many pirate crews even had their own form of health plan, where the pirates all paid into a central fund that was used to compensate injured crew members. Pirates often liberated slaves and accepted them into their crews.

Finally, if their lives of crime caught up with them, pirates' public executions provided entertainment for the masses.

Some other reasons:
Pirates get drunk.
Pirates get drunk a lot.
Pirates rape, pillage, murder and drink.
Two words: Undead monkey
A ninja who gets his leg cut off is useless. A pirate who gets his leg cut off is captain.
Dead pirates go to Davy Jones' locker. Dead ninjas go to the city morgue.
Pirates use gunpowder as a weapon, not a distraction.
Pirates have a super-cool logo – the Jolly Roger.
The song goes, "Yo ho, Yo ho, a pirate's life for me!" Notice that there is no version for "a ninja's life."
Pirates have treasure.
Pirates carry their money around in a much more ornate fashion – the treasure chest.
Ninjas have no money and have to roommate with people. That's why they're so stealthy. So they can be good roommates. Pirates can live anywhere they want by killing the people who already live there.
Did I mention that the Undead Monkey has a gun?
Pirate lingo is much more lively than ninja lingo – largely because ninjas aren't allowed to speak.
Pirates can keep all manner of pets – parrots, monkeys (sometimes undead) – you name it. Ninjas aren't allowed to keep pets because they usually have allergies and will break out in hives.
There aren't any professional sports teams named after ninjas.
Pirates don't need stealth. Hiding is for babies.
Pirates keep their stash of loot in cool wooden chests whose locations are marked on wicked awesome maps. Ninjas keep their money in no-interest checking accounts and get charged lots of fees by their banks. That's because ninjas are idiots.
Pirates wear more than just pajamas and they never wear spandex. Only babies like ninjas wear spandex.
Ninjas are uptight all the time. Once, a ninja sneezed and he had to kill himself by drinking acid. That's how insecure they are.
Pirates can conquer entire towns. If you don't believe me, I guess you never played "Sid Meier's Pirates!"
Ninjas kill people who look at them funny. Pirates kill people just because.
Internet piracy is the scourge of the 21st Century. There is no such thing as an "internet ninja."
Pirate movies are more fun than ninja movies.
Sequels to pirate movies are more fun than sequels to ninja movies. TMNT 3: Secret of the Ooze, I'm looking at you.
Movies with pirates make WAAAAAY more money than movies with ninjas.
Pirates have cool superstitions and legends. Ninjas have allergies and neuroses.
Han Solo was a pirate.
Although Batman got hisself some ninja training, he quit the Brotherhood. The reason? ‘Cuz ninjas are babies.
If you kill a ninja, you're safe. Just because you killed one pirate doesn't mean his pirate friends won't still kill and rape you – maybe in that order.
Give a pirate a bottle of rum and he'll go on a three day bender in which he rapes anything that moves (livestock included), breaks into every storefront, and kills everything else. Give a ninja some rum and he'll make you a gay Mojito.
Speaking of rum, no distilled spirit has ever been named for a famous ninja.
That's because you can't become famous by being a ninja.
Pirates have a much cooler mode of transportation.
Ninjas don't get to use cannons.
They don't get to use guns either.
There are no rides at Disneyland devoted to the ninja lifestyle. That is because there are no robot ninjas.
The Walt Disney Corporation has to carry insurance just in case the robot pirates go all "Kill All Humans!" (I have no proof of this claim. It is pure speculation)
Pirates have cool names like "Blackbeard" and "Bluebeard" and "Jack Rackham." Ninjas have gay names like "Gary" and "Steve."
Pirates have their own currency.
Pirates actually become scarier when they get prosthetic limbs.
Ninjas can't mutiny.
Ninjas don't get to feed people to sharks.
Pirates travel to all manner of sun-drenched tropical destinations.
Pirates don't get all cranky and flip out and kill people who drop their spoons. They just laugh at them and then go back and kill them later.
Pirates don't have to pay for ANYTHING.
Ninjas don't ravage serving wenches. In fact, most are too insecure to even order a drink from a serving wench.
Debate Round No. 2
CAPLlock

Pro

Some other reasons:
Pirates get drunk.
(Which, isn't exactly good for the liver)
Pirates get drunk a lot.
(^^^^)
Pirates rape, pillage, murder.
(...because they are too much of a wuss to actively fight someone)
Two words: Undead monkey
(Ninja fight zombies as well)
A ninja who gets his leg cut off is useless. A pirate who gets his leg cut off is captain.
(Thats because they're not that idiotic)
Dead pirates go to Davy Jones' locker. Dead ninjas go to the city morgue.
(I don't how a locker would make a difference )
Pirates use gunpowder as a weapon, not a distraction.
(...while killing your Cap'n)
Pirates have a super-cool logo – the Jolly Roger.
( So what?)
The song goes, "Yo ho, Yo ho, a pirate's life for me!" Notice that there is no version for "a ninja's life."
(They can't sing; that would give them away)
Pirates have treasure.
(Ninjas steal your treasure while they kill you)
Pirates carry their money around in a much more ornate fashion – the treasure chest.
(They leave their spoils at home)
Ninjas have no money and have to roommate with people. That's why they're so stealthy. So they can be good roommates. Pirates can live anywhere they want by killing the people who already live there.
( Thats not really....)
Did I mention that the Undead Monkey has a gun?
( Ninjas fought in worse cases)
Pirate lingo is much more lively than ninja lingo – largely because ninjas aren't allowed to speak.
(Not allowed , but can't IN THE TASK OF KILLING A CAP'N )
Pirates can keep all manner of pets – parrots, monkeys (sometimes undead) – you name it. Ninjas aren't allowed to keep pets because they usually have allergies and will break out in hives.
( Not really.)

There aren't any professional sports teams named after ninjas.
(Do i care?)
Pirates don't need stealth. Hiding is for babies.
( STEALTH is ALL the WAY different then hiding)
Pirates keep their stash of loot in cool wooden chests whose locations are marked on wicked awesome maps. Ninjas keep their money in no-interest checking accounts and get charged lots of fees by their banks. That's because ninjas are idiots.
(They don't keep the money in banks)
Pirates wear more than just pajamas and they never wear spandex. Only babies like ninjas wear spandex.
( They wore robes)
Give a pirate a bottle of rum and he'll go on a three day bender in which he rapes anything that moves (livestock included), breaks into every storefront, and kills everything else. Give a ninja some rum and he'll make you a Mojito.
(Actually, mojitos is a Cuban drink)
That's because you can't become famous by being a ninja.
(You shouldn't. Because your unknown)
Pirates have a much cooler mode of transportation.
( MUCH cooler then running on water)
Ninjas don't get to use cannons.
(See below)
They don't get to use guns either.
(http://wiki.answers.com... I'm too lazy to type)

Pirates have cool names like "Blackbeard" and "Bluebeard" and "Jack Rackham." Ninjas have names like "Gary" and "Steve."
(Yoshiko Ninja)
Pirates have their own currency.
( Ninjas use YOUR currency)
Pirates actually become scarier when they get prosthetic limbs.
(Nothing says scary like a fat guy with fake legs)
Ninjas can't mutiny.
( They get paid a lot so they don't)
Ninjas don't get to feed people to sharks.
( They still kill you)
Haasenfeffor

Con

Some other reasons:
Pirates get drunk.
(Which, isn't exactly good for the liver)
(Cause they're not babaies who can't handle a spot of alcohol)
Pirates get drunk a lot.
(^^^^)
(^^^^^)
Pirates rape, pillage, murder.
(...because they are too much of a wuss to actively fight someone)
(No, we just choose to kill them? and to rape their wives repeatedly?)
Two words: Undead monkey
(Ninja fight zombies as well)
(Pirates of the Carribean????)
A ninja who gets his leg cut off is useless. A pirate who gets his leg cut off is captain.
(Thats because they're not that idiotic)
(Thats because they are babies)
Dead pirates go to Davy Jones' locker. Dead ninjas go to the city morgue.
(I don't how a locker would make a difference )
(It does, believe me)
Pirates use gunpowder as a weapon, not a distraction.
(...while killing your Cap'n)
(While we blow up your ninja master)
Pirates have a super-cool logo – the Jolly Roger.
( So what?)
(Spreads fear upon seeing the sign of their power)
The song goes, "Yo ho, Yo ho, a pirate's life for me!" Notice that there is no version for "a ninja's life."
(They can't sing; that would give them away)
(Cause they're babies!)
Pirates have treasure.
(Ninjas steal your treasure while they kill you)
(Too bad they're too weak to lift it up)
Pirates carry their money around in a much more ornate fashion – the treasure chest.
(They leave their spoils at home)
(To be stolen)
Ninjas have no money and have to roommate with people. That's why they're so stealthy. So they can be good roommates. Pirates can live anywhere they want by killing the people who already live there.
( Thats not really....)
(Is really...)
Did I mention that the Undead Monkey has a gun?
( Ninjas fought in worse cases)
(Not fighting them, the undead monkey is a pirate!)
Pirate lingo is much more lively than ninja lingo – largely because ninjas aren't allowed to speak.
(Not allowed , but can't IN THE TASK OF KILLING A CAP'N )
(I'd like to see you try to take out CAPTAIN JACK!!!!!!)
Pirates can keep all manner of pets – parrots, monkeys (sometimes undead) – you name it. Ninjas aren't allowed to keep pets because they usually have allergies and will break out in hives.
( Not really.)
(Yes really)

There aren't any professional sports teams named after ninjas.
(Do i care?)
(You should)
Pirates don't need stealth. Hiding is for babies.
( STEALTH is ALL the WAY different then hiding)
Pirates keep their stash of loot in cool wooden chests whose locations are marked on wicked awesome maps. Ninjas keep their money in no-interest checking accounts and get charged lots of fees by their banks. That's because ninjas are idiots.
(They don't keep the money in banks)
(Ever watch war?)
Pirates wear more than just pajamas and they never wear spandex. Only babies like ninjas wear spandex.
( They wore robes)
(Hence the pajamas)
Give a pirate a bottle of rum and he'll go on a three day bender in which he rapes anything that moves (livestock included), breaks into every storefront, and kills everything else. Give a ninja some rum and he'll make you a Mojito.
(Actually, mojitos is a Cuban drink)
That's because you can't become famous by being a ninja.
(You shouldn't. Because your unknown)
(So no fame, no glory, no money= No bitches!)
Pirates have a much cooler mode of transportation.
( MUCH cooler then running on water)
Ninjas don't get to use cannons.
(See below)
They don't get to use guns either.
(http://wiki.answers.com...... I'm too lazy to type)
(Concede)
Pirates have cool names like "Blackbeard" and "Bluebeard" and "Jack Rackham." Ninjas have names like "Gary" and "Steve."
(Yoshiko Ninja)
(Gay)
Pirates have their own currency.
( Ninjas use YOUR currency)
(So you concede that ninjas are forced to use our money because they lack their own)
Pirates actually become scarier when they get prosthetic limbs.
(Nothing says scary like a fat guy with fake legs)
(Exactly)
Ninjas can't mutiny.
( They get paid a lot so they don't)
(Lies! Some ninjas don't get paid at all!(
Ninjas don't get to feed people to sharks.
( They still kill you)
(But they miss out on the enjoyment and family fun that comes from seeing the sharks eat the people)

Notice that he didn't negate anything in my paragraphs ^_^
Debate Round No. 3
CAPLlock

Pro

CAPLlock forfeited this round.
Haasenfeffor

Con

It appears that my opponent now understands how awesome pirates are!
Debate Round No. 4
CAPLlock

Pro

CAPLlock forfeited this round.
Haasenfeffor

Con

I guess I win, as my opponent has forfeited.
Debate Round No. 5
3 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 3 records.
Posted by Rinexe 6 years ago
Rinexe
I would like to say that I have been laughing... for quite a while.
Posted by Haasenfeffor 6 years ago
Haasenfeffor
:) Why thank you!
Posted by Green_Man 6 years ago
Green_Man
Round 2 by the Con is so epic my mind almost exploded from sheer awesomeness.
No votes have been placed for this debate.