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Noah's ark account is false

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 12/25/2015 Category: Religion
Updated: 2 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 926 times Debate No: 84270
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (6)
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This debate is over the bible account of Genesis chapter 6 - 8, namely, the "Noah's Ark" account (this account will be taken LITERALLY because it is presented LITERALLY, and not figurative metaphor as some liberal Christian lunatics suggest).

The topic, of this debate is "Noah's ark account is false", that is, that Genesis 6 - 8 describing the account of the bible character Noah building an ark God's command to save the life of all animals on earth is scientifically impossible, and never in fact happened in reality. Why this debate should even exist, I'll leave up to the Philosophers.


False "not according with truth or fact; incorrect."

True/truth: "in accordance with fact or reality." And before you ask, no, the bible will not be included in this definition for this debate.

God: Biblical deity often called "Yahweh" (though, also sometimes called "Jehovah" by even more Hebrew-illiterate Christian lunatics). This "Yahweh of the barren desert" of the ancient goat-heading Jews and Moses whom apparently wrote Genesis. He is Omnipotent, Omnipresent, Omnibenvolent and Omniscient...thats according to my Christian mate, John, whom claims to have spoken to God. He also has severe schizophrenia and a brain tumour.

Bible: Basic "go-to" manual for genocide, mass murder, and how to stuff up something really really bad that you have to physically torture and kill yourself to then fix your something. Commonly rivalled by Quran, which can be compared to the rivalry of Windows VS iOS. And the Book of Mormon can be compared to Linux.

No one uses Linux.

Anyway, I'm off track.


1: Don't act like a neurologically deficient specimen of the human species. That is, don't be a troll, or debate idiotically (I.e. The bible is true because the bible says so huehuehue)

2: Burden o' proof is shared, namely, I (Pro) will prove Genesis 6 - 8 is (obviously) false, and Con will (try) to prove it is true.

3: If Pro/Con forfeit any rounds Con/Pro will likewise have to forfeit, respectively (to make debate fair).

4: If you have a problem with the above rules, please prey to God to change them.

5: If your offended by anything I've said so far, your a cat. (I would say the obvious synonymous slang for "cat" instead, but DDO's commitment to bubble wrapping the internet via suspending freedom of speech prevents me from doing other words, I can't swear).

6: No Kritiks (changing the debate subject to something related yet off-topic).

7: For this debate, my opponent must include jokes, irony, and humorous satire to make this debate more lively. Even a funny jab at atheism is welcomed.

8: Pro and Con will assume God exists for this debate.

Let the games begin...

Game: "a form of competitive activity or sport played according to rules". Often takes place in a Roman Colosseum between a Christian and a live lion. The lion (for some reason) always wins against the Christian's number one weapon: faith.

Jesus said it only takes faith the size of a mustard grain to move a mountain.

Unfortunately, the Christians in the Roman Colosseum didn't have this amount of faith to produce a full scale excavation of a mountain or even kill their lion foe. Perhaps they only had faith the size of a proton.

Anyway, come to the Roman Colosseum for major Christian blood spilling fun for only $9.99 per seat! Bring the family! Complimentary sweets not included.

Sponsored by Roman entertainment co.


I accept

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Debate Round No. 1


AWSM0055 forfeited this round.


Well apologize for my opponent's behavior.

Anyway, if you look in the comments, you will see we're assuming for the purpose of this debate that God exists.

If God, as defined, exists then God made sure that the Bible was written correctly by speaking to Moses all the things he needed to write down.

So if we're taking Noah's Ark account literally, then I provide the syllogism:

P1) God made sure the Bible was true.
P2) The Bible tells Noah's Ark account as a literal event.
C) The Noah's Ark account actually happened.

So that means that my side is supported.

I can see how my opponent would overlook that though. According to a study done where the logic and reasoning center of a Chrisians brain was shut down, you don't have to be that smart to be an atheist:

Since my opponent forfeited, that's all I need to say.
Debate Round No. 2


I apologise for my forfeit. Having a bit of difficulty with Internet. I may forfeit future rounds too, but I'll try not to. Sry.

Anyway, here's your argument:

P1) God made sure the bible is true

Not necessarily. From my understanding, the bible was written by Moses (I think) to describe a supposed event in the past (regardless of whether it's true of false). God is not limited to what the bible says of his actions (clearly). The bible was written to describe god's actions plus other stuff. So God wouldn't have made sure the bible is true, but rather, the bible (tries) to make sure that God (and his subsequent actions) are writing them down? God damn, I love circular reasoning! And the wheels of the bible go round and round! Round and round! Round and round!

So what Moses wrote down may have no bearing on reality...and probably didn't!

Anyway, here are my arguments for my forfeited turn:

1) Now Noah's ark was big. Very big. Even Captain Ahab was impressed, and he's never impressed. The ark was 300 cubits long, 50 cubits wide and 30 cubits high.

What makes it even more impressing was the fact that it was built 2300 years ago and only out of wood.

Some people think the imperial system is bad. What about this ungodly "Cubit" system. What the hell is a cubit? Clearly not the measurement system created by an all-wise God. (But my book "Arguments against God", only $19.99!)

Anyway, the bible never specifies. Nevertheless, with a bit of maths, dark magic and research, some smart people found out that one cubit is apparently 45.72 cm long (or for Americans who use the hideous imperial system, 18 inches).

So, how long was this behemoth of maritime history?

158m long, 26m wide and 15m high.

Here's a picture for comparison: ark comparison

That's a long piece of wood (*snigger*). So what happen's when a dingy takes steroids? A lot of bad stuff happens. Firstly, the wood buckles and bends, which could likely lead to breakage and a watery grave. An example of this is the Wyoming, a 350 ft ship of similar size to the ark which sank due to being so long (keep in mind, the Wyoming was created by a team of professional ship builders with modern equipment, and not a random team of 8 ancient people 2300 years ago).

Not only this, but Noah had a severe naval battle with the S.S. Dino, a rival ark carrying the dinosaurs. Unfortunately, the rival ark sank due to a full-scale mutiny after the captain keel-hauled a raptor. (Don't forget to buy my book: "Argument against God: second edition" for only $10.99!)

So how did this giant heap of fire wood survive being destroyed? Answer: It didn't; Because it never happened!

2) Another problem is animals...and good god did the ark have bloody heaps of those! The ark carried around 70,000 (give or take) animal, some of which require very particular diets to survive (pandas, koala's, etc). How did the ark carry 70,000 animals PLUS clean fresh water PLUS particular food PLUS cleaning PLUS etc etc etc? Answer: It didn't; Because it never happened!

3) And finally, the major problem of salt water fish and fresh water fish intermingling...which doesn't end up well for either.

The major problem here is that salt water fish can't survive in fresh water and vice versa. During the flood, the whole earth was rained down for 40 days and nights with (supposedly) fresh water. All the salt water fish would have died tragically! But they clearly didn't because we have salt water fish today! You would be really shellfish to think that the Noah account really happened while dining at a fish and chips restaurant! And stupid!

That's it for NOAH. See you on the BEACH! I shall WAVE you goodbye! Now you may kiss the TIDE!

ok I'm going.

(Don't forget to buy my book: "Argument against God: third edition", now only $9.99!)


Jonbonbon forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 3


Well I guess this makes us even then?


Jonbonbon forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 4
6 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 6 records.
Posted by AWSM0055 2 years ago
Posted by Jonbonbon 2 years ago
I forgot to ask. Is first round acceptance?
Posted by AWSM0055 2 years ago
And anyone is allowed to say that "Yeah, God took care of this and that".

It just won't impress the voters.
Posted by AWSM0055 2 years ago
No, don't worry. I should have included that in the debate, but I'll assume God exists for this debate.
Posted by TheKryken 2 years ago
I feel that this is technically impossible for Pro to win.

Con has to operate under the view that God exists, otherwise the flood is, of course, illogical; Pro may not attack this, as that would be a kritik. If God exists, then any scientific issue could be accounted for by saying, "God manually took care of that" (such as salinity issues, fish issues, mountain issues, the living olive tree, animal birth on the ark, feeding the animals etc.)

That make sense to anyone else? If it does, I'll gladly accept this.
Posted by NothingSpecial99 2 years ago
Wow, insulting Christians before the debate starts.
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