The Instigator
9spaceking
Pro (for)
Winning
7 Points
The Contender
RevNge
Con (against)
Losing
0 Points

Non-fiction writing tourney R1

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 1 vote the winner is...
9spaceking
Voting Style: Open Point System: Select Winner
Started: 11/9/2014 Category: Funny
Updated: 2 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 616 times Debate No: 64836
Debate Rounds (2)
Comments (6)
Votes (1)

 

9spaceking

Pro

Round one acceptance
Round two we each write an essay on The Aesthetics of Tentacle Hentai Pornography, and our point of views regarding that topic. We can be on the same side.
Judges will vote on who wrote a better essay (funnier and more creative)
RevNge

Con

I accept, and I will be taking the position of being in favor of tentacle hentai pornography. Per Ajabi's wishes, I will not post any links to clips and videos that I have encountered during my research. I wish luck to my opponent and hope for an orgasmic debate!
Debate Round No. 1
9spaceking

Pro

Ajabi says we can post pictures so here I go

Drum roll please....
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Aaanddd....
*ESSAY BEGIN!**ESSAY BEGIN!*
*ESSAY BEGIN!**ESSAY BEGIN!*
*ESSAY BEGIN!**ESSAY BEGIN!*

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“And thoust hath delivered forth our meatballs and delicious sauce…”

Throughout our world, even with our eyes glued to our addictive technology, we still see the Flying Spaghetti Monster everywhere. His noodly appendages touch us in every place we go, regardless of whether or not we chose to trust him. However there is one slight problem in our world regarding the FSM. Nowadays, on television, we see lots of fictional ideals being spread around, such as Barack Obama’s economic policies having full effect on the outspread of Ebola, or even the fact that Princess Celestia is personally splitting her land up with Elsa. Thus it remains to be seen whether Tentacle Hentai pornography is credible or not.

The Spaghetti Monster is generally portrayed as a simple yet nice Godlike figure. In religious texts and paintings, it is shown that the Monster interacts quite well with the human race, and the eight commandments remain followed by people even in modern day. Yet there are times of darkness as well. Due to his ancient relationship closely tied together with pirates, the Monster is very unforgiving when it comes to the practice of pirating. Ever sinse Captain Jack Sparrow was arrested, pirates’ population has declined and as a result, the Spaghetti Monster has raised the global temperature drastically to punish human kind as shown in a famous statistic graph (pictured below).

It would only make sense for the FSM to send out similar monsters to molest and get it on with poor girls (and occasionally boys). The evidence is irrefutable, in multitudes of photos it has been shown that tentacle porn is now a common incident. There now remains the question: is it moral or is it not? In a simple one word, the answer is “yes”. The FSM always tries to be just and fair, and within the case of tentacle hentai porn, it is quite fair and just as is everything the FSM does. You see, it is through the bondage that the FSM only makes the sexual interaction more erotic and enjoyable. As Wikipedia notes in its page about BDSM, some pain and restrain is actually alright, making the interaction an enhanced and unique experience. Furthermore, the FSM knows it all. Regardless of the initial rejection and doubt, the FSM knows that the participant will enjoy it eventually, and perhaps look forward to more sessions. Furthermore, for those that don’t enjoy it, the FSM only hires out special tentacle creatures for them. These are rough, spiky, and not enjoyable at all. The FSM punishes these criminals for us, knowing our police force is not omnipotent, unlike itself with its infinite stored power within the meat balls and the appendages.

Thus it is concluded that tentacle hentai porn is not only justified, it has many positive effects. Our FSM will deliver unto us in progressing ways, as the modern world advances, as from the cave men to modern homo-sapiens, we have all been basked in the Spaghetti Monster’s holy light. Let us hope that our behavior will remain the same, and that people will finally begin to save the pirates to show their respect for the Monster, and possibly be rewarded with some experience in sexual interaction themselves. Ramen.






RevNge

Con

Thanks to 9space for his *ahem* arousing essay!

WARNING: Many elements of this essay is highly inappropriate for children under 13 years old, and some hint at mature content. No graphic details, images, videos, or links, however. I highly recommend the feeble-hearted and immature to skip the third-to-last paragraph. ;D
_____________________________________

Who here has never watched pornography?

That was a rhetorical question, in case if you didn"t notice. If you"re in denial, you are, quote-to-quote from Mikal, "so dumb that you can't comprehend what the f*ck I"m saying,"[1] and I kindly advise you to leave now, for what you will learn will be so sexually revolutionizing that your "pure and innocent" brain will be scarred forever, in the afterlife, and beyond.

All good? Okay then.

There are many reasons why the general public is against tentacle hentai pornography, but what exactly is the primary revulsion? Could it be the rape? Possibly, but there are many human rape pornos on the Internet already, and their total views have been considerably larger than a tentacle hentai porn video I"ve found. Could it be the explicit content? Since when did pornography not have explicit content? The only difference is this: The tentacles themselves.

There is no logical reason to support our prejudice against tentacles. There are so many bestial porn videos such as girls having sex with all sorts of animals and pretty much stuff the former zoophile member ADREAMOFLIBERTY would jack off to, and while those videos can be immoral, the aforementioned tentacles are not real. They are simply a figment of our imagination, and imagination is what has led us to pornography in the first place. There is no justification for our prejudice against these imaginary tentacles, as it is totally fake, with even the porno being animated and not filmed. There is no harm done to the general public, for it"s their choice to watch this new realm of pornography, and human curiosity has no bounds, especially in the area of this subject. We have no control over our mind, for it is a part of our human nature, along with our erections or moistness whenever we see such erotic things.

An explanatory analogy would be the fact that there are hundreds, if not thousands of porn videos where a girl is masturbating with a dildo, and millions of women worldwide who have enjoyed the sensation themselves, along with the men who want that extra kink. Likewise, the tentacles in such a porno highly resembled elongated dildo. Furthermore, tentacles actually have advantages dildos do not possess. They generate their own lubricant (at least most of the videos I have "researched"). They are generally in assorted sizes so that they can pleasure anyone from a virgin to Marilyn Monroe. They can control their pace, from the starting prod to an all-out thrust. They can even pleasure other parts of the body, which I will leave to my audience"s obviously well-bloomed imagination if they have had the will to read this far. Even one acclaimed DDO member, Bsh1, claims that toys are not as satisfying as they don"t possess the "leverage,"[2] while the tentacles certainly do, seeing as they can bring their unfortunate (although the "un" will be gone in a while) victim into ecstasy even in the wildest positions.

Consequently, tentacle hentai pornography is protected by law, as it does not feature anyone under the age of 18, and they"re never real people, so even if it"s an infant, it is not illegal. A final defense could be to "think of the children," but millions of kids have watched pornography on their own of all genres, with myself obviously not excluded. In the first place, it should be the parents" responsibility to shield their children from such "crude" things, but then their kids will most likely get teased at school for being so "innocent" and they"ll cry since they want to be like the cool kids, and they"ll inevitably end up watching it somehow due to their desire to be cool. Once that deed is completed, they will boast about their sexual awesomeness, get overheard by a teacher, and will call their parents, and the end result is a permanent banning from the Internet, but most importantly, the children are still not cool, and will have to cry themselves to sleep for years and will never recover from the trauma of un-coolness.

It"s the 21st Century, and with the powerful tool of the Internet, our animalistic--no, human desire for sexual content is increasing by the tenfold, and lust is by far the dominating of the seven sins in our current world. As cleverly declared by the aspiring revolutionary Material_Girl, "I say screw reactionary condemnation of sexual pleasure and embrace the new age of eating, masturbating and posting your adventures on internet forums!"[3]

[1] http://www.debate.org...
[2] http://oi59.tinypic.com...
[3] http://www.debate.org...
Debate Round No. 2
6 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 6 records.
Posted by 9spaceking 2 years ago
9spaceking
creative and unexpected eh? You were probably expecting me to mention some random monster or inappropriate random stuff....but no, fsm came up.... XD
Posted by RevNge 2 years ago
RevNge
*FSM nac
Posted by RevNge 2 years ago
RevNge
LMAO...you used the FMS. XD
Posted by Complicated_Mind 2 years ago
Complicated_Mind
Lol @ the topic. You guys sure are creative.
Posted by ESocialBookworm 2 years ago
ESocialBookworm
interesting
Posted by RevNge 2 years ago
RevNge
Hey, 9space. Sorry for not instigating the debate; I have zero time to prepare for the essay due to my parents and whatnot. >.>

I'd appreciate it if you could hold off your essay submission for a little while, too. Thanks. :P
1 votes has been placed for this debate.
Vote Placed by Mr.Lincoln 2 years ago
Mr.Lincoln
9spacekingRevNge
Who won the debate:Vote Checkmark-
Reasons for voting decision: Con did a good job but Pro's story was creative . Both did good but I like Pro's just a little bit better