The Instigator
9spaceking
Pro (for)
Winning
6 Points
The Contender
AlexanderOc
Con (against)
Losing
0 Points

People Should Retain the Right to Bear Arms

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 2 votes the winner is...
9spaceking
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 8/5/2014 Category: Funny
Updated: 2 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 4,130 times Debate No: 59898
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (18)
Votes (2)

 

9spaceking

Pro

This is a troll debate. I will obviously skew some definitions to suit my needs.
Round one is acceptance only. Good luck and have fun.
Retain: keep on having
Right: The moral or legal entitlement to have or obtain something or to act in a certain way. [1]
My opponent may not define "bear arms". ;)

[1] https://www.google.com...
AlexanderOc

Con

I accept. Here's your chance for redemption Spaceking.
Debate Round No. 1
9spaceking

Pro

1. Bear arms are OP in comparison to guns or even swords
Bear arms can easily rip apart people. If someone points a gun at your head you can just transform and use your bear arms to destroy the murderer/robber. Bears are pretty dangerous, especially their arms.
Source: http://www.bear.org...
In fact, bear arms can even break swords!!


Since this bear obviously did not steal the key he was forced to break the glass. If he can break this glass and part of the door, he certainly can break swords. Below is an ancient painting of a horrid lost of a massive army against one single bear.

Even the secret weapon seen above, the bees, could not stop the bear.

2. Only good guys can get bear arms
Bears smell's sense is really good. That's why you have to make sure your campsite doesn't smell too good. http://adventure.howstuffworks.com...
They smell 100 times better than humans! http://sectionhiker.com...
In fact, they can smell whether you have good intentions or bad intentions.

s://i.imgflip.com...; alt="" />

They won't hesitate to rip apart some guy who forcibly tries to get their bear arms. On the other hand good people will easily get bear arms if they ask nicely for it, the bear will take you to the Voodoo witch and the witch will borrow the DNA from the bear's arms to give them to you.

3. Bear + bear equals undefeatable army
Nukes and tanks are powerful, alright, but if you have bear arms combined with weaponry AND you're on a bear....well this happens
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Thus we don't have to worry about war because since the US technology researches pretty much the fastest due to the diversity of people we hire, we can stop any war from happening.

That's all I got for now. Onto you, con.

BTW I really should have made this 3000 characters or something, I'm wasting all the good space! Hopefully I'll use up more in my rebuttals.
AlexanderOc

Con


1. Bear arms can't be used responsibly

Look at this bear.


His obesity is caused by his excessive eating of food. This wouldn't be the case if it weren't for his bear arms.
They are causing obesity.

Not only that, but in the wrong hands, bear arm can really hurt somebody.



As you can see this bear arm is being used to hit a bear in the crotch. This one of the worst things you can do with a bear arm. Think of how you're affecting that guy's family when you're using them in this manner.

2. Allowing people to take bear arms would cripple the species



You see that bear? He's crying right now because somebody decided he didn't have a right to his own arms. They were taken away by greedy humans who wanted to break swords. He's gonna live his life being the laughing stock of animals.
Simply pushing him over would be enough to overpower him. That shouldn't be his life. Bears should be proud, 'merican animals. They should retain their arms, they obviously have more of a right to them more than we do.



Could a bear without arms be able to saddle Mr.Linclon? I think not! Protect the bears!

3. Refutations
That bear beaking into a car was obviously just trying to get into a car. He could face years in prison just for having arms that are too powerful. Think of how humans having that right would be.



This man obviously doesn't know how to use his right to bear arms correctly. That red glint in his eye shows he's just about to go rampaging around. A fat man with those sword-chopping arms? Think of the children!




Bear cavalry? How would that be possible if people had the right to bear arms? The humans would be stripping bears of their arms, leaving them all powerless. Bear cavalry is only possible if we protect them, not steal their arms.







Debate Round No. 2
9spaceking

Pro

REBUTTALS
1. Bear's unresponsibility
Snorlax is amazing. He has the right to sleep. His amazing powers...just wow.
Watch the youtube video. Just watch the Youtube video.

(Skip to 4:10 for the important part)

As for wrong hands, you obviously didn't read my 2cd argument.
As for crippling species, as I said, the Voodoo witch master will serve you for an easy 15$ dollars. Insert needle, get DNA, insert DNA, get bear arms. Plus, bears can always get amazing robot arms.

3. Reputations
Once again, the Voodoo witch is at your service. Just call 1313-3131-666 and you'll get 70% off your first purchase!!


"Come to me, my little ones...er, I mean, nice shoppers!"

As for the evil one, well, let's just say that he'll prefer the electric chair to what punishment we're giving him...that's right, he's serving in eternity as a servant to the Voodoo Witch!! The witch can be evil if she wants to be. Of course, she's only mean to mean people and evil to evil people, luckily.
Back to you, con.
AlexanderOc

Con

First off, Pro didn't even refute the obesity argument, so that still stands. The only point that the video really made is that snorlax can shoot lazers. That's irrelevant to his bear arms and his obesity they provide him.

Wrong Hands Argument
My opponent tries to say that bears can smell when someone is evil and will decline them arms if they intend to do nefarious things with them. However there is one flaw in this case.



Bears love the smell of flowers. An evil man could simply dress up in flowers to coerce the bear into giving up his precious arms.



Crippling Species Argument

My opponent claims that because a voodoo witch could insert bear DNA into you to give you bear arms, then bears wouldn't lose their arms.
This does present a flaw however. Voodoo witchcraft is magic. DNA transmutation is science, and as we know...



Magic and science don't mix. So Pro's point is invalid.

OP Rampage Argument
This is another argument Pro didn't address. How can people be trusted with the power of bear arms? Especially white Americans. They are just to powerful to leave in the power of all those rednecks. Who knows what they'll do.
Debate Round No. 3
9spaceking

Pro

FINAL ROUND!!
The obesity: what I'm trying to say that is in reality Snorlax is this amazing guy who can take huge hits as well as dish out humongous lazers that will destroy any bad guys in their sight.

Flowers: bad guys get destroyed by flowers, don't you know?




"AHHHHHH THEYYYYYYYY BURRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNN"
My opponent think magic and science don't mix. What about the magical bullet?



Yeah, see? Magic and bullet. Bullet=gun=technology. Magic=magic. Living in perfect harmony.
And of course, there's also The Matrix itself.

source: http://tacomagic.wordpress.com....

Rampage, American's untrustworthiness? Only the most trustworthy of the trustworthy can get bear arms. You need to be noble and awesome. It's like...


...only the Chosen One can pull it out!! Of course, there is more than just one who can get bear arms, but the Voodoo witch can tell who's responsible and who's not. She can smell you out!

In conlusion I have thoroughly explained how the process of gaining bear arms work, and how well it works.
Everyone should get bear arms!

Good debate.
VOTE ME.
AlexanderOc

Con

Snorlax is a badass
This point is completely true. However if it weren't for his bear arms making him a fatso, he could be a bigger badass.

Flowers destroy bad guys


According to my opponent, flowers burn bad guys. This wouldn't matter however.




Bad guys are immune to heat.

Technonlogy and magic mix

My opponent thinks that technology and magic mixing means that magic and science work in complete harmony. This is completely false.





There is nothing magical about that crap.


Also, there is nothing magical about the matrix. The matrix is based on real life, not fiction.



No magic involved.



I've made my case.
Bear arms cause pain, humiliation, and obesity. People have no right to them.
Debate Round No. 4
18 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by RedDeadZe8 2 years ago
RedDeadZe8
Bear Cavalry.. only in Russia...
Posted by Ragnar 2 years ago
Ragnar
I'm going to need to finish reading this later... In the mean time: http://www.theonion.com...
Posted by 9spaceking 2 years ago
9spaceking
if image not showing up: https://imgflip.com...
Posted by AlexanderOc 2 years ago
AlexanderOc
I'll accept if you do Pro.
Posted by 9spaceking 2 years ago
9spaceking
there. Now will someone accept?
Posted by 9spaceking 2 years ago
9spaceking
nobody's doing this on con side? I'll switch sides and see what happens.
Posted by Mister_Man 2 years ago
Mister_Man
Bear arms are a good way to tear your enemies apart.
Posted by nzlockie 2 years ago
nzlockie
I don't get where the subterfuge is here. You said "bear arms" right there in the title. What else can that possibly mean?
Posted by 9spaceking 2 years ago
9spaceking
hilarious. You saw through my plan just like that, eh?
Posted by Ragnar 2 years ago
Ragnar
It's common English, needing no definition.

Bear = "any one of a group of large and heavy animals that have thick hair and sharp claws and that can stand on two legs like a person" http://www.merriam-webster.com...

Arms "upper limb; especially : the part between the shoulder and the wrist" http://www.merriam-webster.com...

Not sure if he means mounted on the wall, or medical experiments to replace human arms with bear arms... Either way, good luck to both sides on this one. And I suggest the following voting standards: https://docs.google.com...
2 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 2 records.
Vote Placed by distraff 2 years ago
distraff
9spacekingAlexanderOcTied
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Total points awarded:30 
Reasons for voting decision: This is an interesting debate. Con wins the point about bad people getting bear arms. Pro wins the point about the harm of ripping off bear arms by claiming that DNA can change people's arms to bear arms. Pro wins the point on magic and technology mixing. I am going for Pro on this one.
Vote Placed by lannan13 2 years ago
lannan13
9spacekingAlexanderOcTied
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Total points awarded:30 
Reasons for voting decision: The debate goes to Pro, because he showed that bear arms are great then showed that they can smell evil far away due to their unique sense of smell. He also proved how magic and science can work via the matrix. One argument that Con fails to make is that the vodo doc would be making the injections so the smell argument would be irrelevant. Snorlax is also pretty cool, because he can shoot lasers, but that of course is when he's awake.