The Instigator
Geekis_Khan
Pro (for)
Winning
51 Points
The Contender
HadenQuinlan
Con (against)
Losing
29 Points

Pirates are cooler than Ninjas

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 4/23/2008 Category: Politics
Updated: 8 years ago Status: Voting Period
Viewed: 4,226 times Debate No: 3760
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (23)
Votes (23)

 

Geekis_Khan

Pro

First, some ground rules for the debate:

1.) No lame defining of terms, unless something has multiple meanings which are drastically different, and a definition is required. Semantic arguments are lame, and everything will be done using the vernacular.

2.) This will be an equal burden debate, meaning that my opponent will have an equal burden to myself. Since I must prove why pirates are cooler than ninjas, he must prove why ninjas are cooler than pirates, not that the two are equally cool.

Now, for my contentions:

1.) Pirates have treasure. Ninjas are broke.

2.) Pirates have really awesome ships with cannons and stuff. You can't beat that.

3.) Pirates have guns. Ninjas have shurikens. A gun is much more reliable.

4.) Pirates get to have sex with loose women at every port.

5.) When they're at sea, pirates get to have awesome gay sex with their shipmates. Who doesn't love hot sweaty pirate gay sex?

6.) Pirates have big crews to back them up in a fight. Ninjas, for the most part, are alone.

7.) Pirate captains get to command people around. Ninjas have no underlings.

8.) Johnny Depp played a pirate, and Johnny Depp is awesome. No awesome actor like Johnny Depp ever played a ninja.

9.) Pirates wear a beard. Chuck Norris also wears a beard. 'Nuff said.
HadenQuinlan

Con

I'll refute his points, then move on to my own. (Screw formalities, dawg)

1.) Pirates have treasure. Ninjas are broke.

This isn't true. Pirates have treasure only if they can procure it from battleships. Ships that may take months to find, and even then they must go to port and find them, whereas Ninjas can procure money anytime they want, they simply must scale a wall or two and reap the rewards.

2.) Pirates have really awesome ships with cannons and stuff. You can't beat that.

Let's assume that by ships we're saying they have superior modes of transportation, especially because of the weapons (cannons and stuff). However, Ninjas rely on their own two feet. This shows great strength, because a ship requires materials and can only run on water, feet can run anywhere on land and can be used to swim in water. As to the guns, Ninjas can easily attach shurikens to their feet in order to execute flying kicks to eliminate foes. That's way better than cannons.

3.) Pirates have guns. Ninjas have shurikens. A gun is much more reliable.

The reliability of a gun comes into question. A ninja can throw a shuriken from 50 feet accurately, whereas a pirate flintlock has horrible accuracy. Furthermore, the reload time on a gun is much more than a shuriken. You see that shurikens can be thrown one after another accurately for 100 yards, whereas a flintlock takes about 30 seconds to reload and is inaccurate after 50 yards or so.

4.) Pirates get to have sex with loose women at every port.

Loose women means disease and drunk sweaty bar sex. Ninjas get to have classy, high-profile sex with Geishas and other women specifically trained to please a man. That's much better than a random bar wench.

5.) When they're at sea, pirates get to have awesome gay sex with their shipmates. Who doesn't love hot sweaty pirate gay sex?

The only difference between Ninjas gay sex and Pirates gay sex is that pirates have to deal with the rocking of the ship. This could be considered pleasurable, however the violent rocking during turbulent storms is infinitely less preferable than the high-class sex that ninja males can have anywhere. What's better, sex on top of Mount Fuji or slippery vomit covered sex?

6.) Pirates have big crews to back them up in a fight. Ninjas, for the most part, are alone.

Pirates REQUIRE big crews because they're weak alone. Ninjas can hold their own against multiple adversaries whereas Pirates are limited by the strength of their men. This also gives Ninjas a coordinating advantage because they know exactly what they're going to do, but Pirates are forced to follow a mass-group.

7.) Pirate captains get to command people around. Ninjas have no underlings.

Look to the coordinating advantage above. Also, Ninjas have no underlings WHEN ON A MISSION. Before and after missions there are clandestine ninja houses in which ninjas are given missions. Ninjas have rankings as well as pirates.

8.) Johnny Depp played a pirate, and Johnny Depp is awesome. No awesome actor like Johnny Depp ever played a ninja.

Jet Li, Jackie Chan, every teenage mutant ninja turtle. I don't see any teenage mutant pirate turtles.

9.) Pirates wear a beard. Chuck Norris also wears a beard. 'Nuff said.

http://en.wikipedia.org...

Chuck Norris was a master of Karate, which is a Ninja art. So instead of having a simple "representation" of Piracy, he actually learned the techniques and practiced the techniques of a Ninja.

To my contentions:

1.) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. There are no mutant animal pirates.

2.) Ninjas were agents of political revolt in Japanese culture. They actually have an intellectual background, making them both physically awesome AND intellectually awesome.

3.) Pirates are forced to use materials and others, whereas Ninjas rely solely on themselves, making them thoroughly stronger than any pirate.

Thanks~
Debate Round No. 1
Geekis_Khan

Pro

"This isn't true. Pirates have treasure only if they can procure it from battleships. Ships that may take months to find, and even then they must go to port and find them, whereas Ninjas can procure money anytime they want, they simply must scale a wall or two and reap the rewards."

My opponent would have you believe that stealing treasure form a castle is easier than stealing it from an enemy ship. This is not true, it simply takes different approaches. Furthermore, a ninja cannot carry as much as a pirate because the ninja lacks a place to put the treasure. The pirate can just place a treasure chest on his ship. Ninjas have to carry it miles away to their camp. this is terribly inefficient.

"Let's assume that by ships we're saying they have superior modes of transportation, especially because of the weapons (cannons and stuff). However, Ninjas rely on their own two feet. This shows great strength, because a ship requires materials and can only run on water, feet can run anywhere on land and can be used to swim in water. As to the guns, Ninjas can easily attach shurikens to their feet in order to execute flying kicks to eliminate foes. That's way better than cannons."

This isn't about transportation, it's about having an awesome ship. Even if you had a better means of transportation, you'd still want a pirate ship, just like you still want an X-Wing.

"The reliability of a gun comes into question. A ninja can throw a shuriken from 50 feet accurately, whereas a pirate flintlock has horrible accuracy. Furthermore, the reload time on a gun is much more than a shuriken. You see that shurikens can be thrown one after another accurately for 100 yards, whereas a flintlock takes about 30 seconds to reload and is inaccurate after 50 yards or so."

When debating weapons, we have to look as to who would win in a fight. Now, a pirate can obviously survive a shuriken blow, because he's a pirate and he's a beast. Now he can walk up to the unarmed ninja (unarmed because he threw his weapon) and simply shoot him in the face. Pirate wins.

"Loose women means disease and drunk sweaty bar sex. Ninjas get to have classy, high-profile sex with Geishas and other women specifically trained to please a man. That's much better than a random bar wench."

First of all: bar whores KNOW how to please a man. They're very experienced. Second: Ninjas were eunuchs. Sorry.

"The only difference between Ninjas gay sex and Pirates gay sex is that pirates have to deal with the rocking of the ship. This could be considered pleasurable, however the violent rocking during turbulent storms is infinitely less preferable than the high-class sex that ninja males can have anywhere. What's better, sex on top of Mount Fuji or slippery vomit covered sex?"

Once again, ninjas were eunuchs. Furthermore, the rocking ship is a lot kinkier than Mount Fuji. Pirates win the gay sex argument.

"Pirates REQUIRE big crews because they're weak alone. Ninjas can hold their own against multiple adversaries whereas Pirates are limited by the strength of their men. This also gives Ninjas a coordinating advantage because they know exactly what they're going to do, but Pirates are forced to follow a mass-group."

Tell that to Jack Sparrow.

"Look to the coordinating advantage above. Also, Ninjas have no underlings WHEN ON A MISSION. Before and after missions there are clandestine ninja houses in which ninjas are given missions. Ninjas have rankings as well as pirates."

But pirates have rankings on missions and not on missions. Clearly, the PRO outweighs the CON here.

"Jet Li, Jackie Chan, every teenage mutant ninja turtle. I don't see any teenage mutant pirate turtles."

That's because they're all humans, not some wimpy reptile. that retreats into its shell when it gets scared.

As for Jackie Chan, he was in "The Tuxedo", which discredits him from ever being cool. And Jet Li is simply a martial artist actor. I don't recall a film where he played a ninja. If you tell me a film where he did, I'll prove why that film sucked.

"Chuck Norris was a master of Karate, which is a Ninja art. So instead of having a simple "representation" of Piracy, he actually learned the techniques and practiced the techniques of a Ninja."

Fair enough. but Chuck Norris also loves to use guns, just like pirates. He was, after all, Walker: Texas Ranger. Combine the love of guns with the love of beards, and we have two points to one. PRO wins this point.

Also, I refer you to this (and the four arguments that are based within it):

http://www.mentalfloss.com...

Clearly, pirates are a much better group of individuals to honor the great Chuck than ninjas. They weren't cross dressers, and they were actually good at their jobs.

Now for your contentions:

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. There are no mutant animal pirates."

Once again, they're wimpy reptiles that retreat into their shells when they get scared. They're also mutants, which means they should be shunned by the rest of society, because they are freaks.

"Ninjas were agents of political revolt in Japanese culture. They actually have an intellectual background, making them both physically awesome AND intellectually awesome."

Pirates had to strategize sea battles against entire fleets! Clearly, they had strong intellect, as well.

Also, if ninjas were so smart, how come they were eunuchs?

"Pirates are forced to use materials and others, whereas Ninjas rely solely on themselves, making them thoroughly stronger than any pirate."

Ninja don't rely on materials? Excuse me, they rely on large weapons arsenals, whereas a pirate only has a gun and a sword. They also depend on their black clothing so they can keep their wimpy *sses from being seen. Furthermore, a pirate doesn't need to rely on his allies, he simply has them for good measure. He can be totally self-reliant.
HadenQuinlan

Con

HadenQuinlan forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 2
Geekis_Khan

Pro

Well, my opponent obviously can't deal with the FACTS that ninjas were eunuchs and horrible assassins.
HadenQuinlan

Con

HadenQuinlan forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 3
Geekis_Khan

Pro

My opponent is unable to disprove the awesomeness that is our pirate brethren!

VOTE AGAINST THOSE EUNUCHS IN BLACK, COMRADES!
HadenQuinlan

Con

bi*ches aint sh*t but hoes and tricks
lick on deez nuts and suck the dick

vote con or you're gay

west side

represent
Debate Round No. 4
23 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by Ange154 7 years ago
Ange154
You idiot ninjas are practically gay, pirates are scurvy lads who get drunk, ninjas are skinny asian dudes with high pitched voices who hang out in trees, and do gay karyoke.. pirates shoot gun faster then ninjas can throw ninja stars fool, ninjas cant blend in if it is a crowd of white people, also a Ninja runs if his element of surprise is gone, BASICALLY NINJAS ARE WIMPS. Pirates get sweet shoulder parrots and a scurvy crew to help him, i bet a ninja cant dodge 10 of bullets coming at him at the same time, also Spartans own ninjas also, lol...Pirates have sick beards, ninjas have lip fuzz, ninjas are gay homosexuals.....pirates are awesome...
Posted by KIRA_OKASHI 8 years ago
KIRA_OKASHI
look pirates are homos who have gay sex... ninjas dont have gay sex....plus ninjas dont jsut carrie one shuriken moron they carrie multiple so that they can throw lots of them at one time to rip you to shreds. . . chuck norris uses martial arts ALOT more than guns idiot. . . his beard only hides another fist to punch you out using ninja techniques.

finaly ninjas werent eunuchs they take no vows of abstinence they are not monks but highly trained assassins who can kill a man with noone knowing they are there. a pirates gun shot is first of all loud and pretty obvious when he has a cloud of smoke hanging in the air from his inferior weapon.

oh yes a ninja blends in to any croud and any scenery a pirate stands out with there horid smell and horible hair and clothing.

ooooh pirates are drunks who couldnt stand up straight after a long night of drinking where as a ninja have self contol and are always aware and ready to battle
Posted by HadenQuinlan 8 years ago
HadenQuinlan
DON'T VOTE CON, what would inspire you to do that?
Posted by Logical-Master 8 years ago
Logical-Master
If it's Captain Jack Sparrow, then Sparrow easily. After all, he could simply talk the ninjas into giving up. And lets not forget how beastly he is when he . . . *gasp* get the "proper leverage."
Posted by Geekis_Khan 8 years ago
Geekis_Khan
Yes, I'd like to clarify that it isn't just focused on who would win in a fight, it's who is actually cooler.

And Kleptin, what you're forgetting is that the average pirates have a ship. This means that the ninja has to swim out to the ship in order to actually do any damage. Until he gets there, it's like shooting fish in a barrel! (Only, it's shooting ninjas in a sea.)
Posted by Kleptin 8 years ago
Kleptin
Average pirate with average pirate skills and average pirate weaponry

VS

Average ninja with average ninja skills and average ninja weaponry

=Ninja wins.

No matter how beastly the pirate, a ninja can quite easily sneak up behind him and slit his throat. If no stealthiness is allowed, the shuriken will probably still be a one hit KO. Not only that, a kunai can easily be thrown with astounding accuracy at the liver or kidneys of a pirate, resulting in instant incapacitation and eventually, death. Even more so if the kunai is dipped in poison.

If you're talking about fighting, there's no way the pirate can win. Ninjas are just killing machines. Compared to ninjas, pirates are just slow, fat, weaklings.

HOWEVER

Pirates live a much more carefree life than ninjas, full of debauchery, worldly pleasures, kinship, and manliness. So while i would rather have an army of Ninjas than Pirates, I'd have to say pirates are definitely cooler.

I'm voting Pro because Con forfeited 3 rounds though.
Posted by HadenQuinlan 8 years ago
HadenQuinlan
I know! I totally expected it to.
Posted by Geekis_Khan 8 years ago
Geekis_Khan
Your Roun Four argument was actually enlightening. I didn't know that this site didn't censor "dick".
Posted by HadenQuinlan 8 years ago
HadenQuinlan
wooooooooooooooooooooow

i'm really sorry for not writing anything towards this debate, I'm just really bored of this website.

Thanks for the compliment, Lwerd, I can be good when I try. At the moment though, it's obviously Pro's win. I voted for him ;D
Posted by Geekis_Khan 8 years ago
Geekis_Khan
Hey... You have to refute the turtle point somehow...
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