The Instigator
LLAMA
Pro (for)
Losing
32 Points
The Contender
Vi_Veri
Con (against)
Winning
33 Points

Poetry Battle

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 4/17/2010 Category: Arts
Updated: 7 years ago Status: Voting Period
Viewed: 3,132 times Debate No: 11775
Debate Rounds (3)
Comments (23)
Votes (11)

 

LLAMA

Pro

There was a poetry battle on this site that I saw and rather enjoyed, I would like to have one of my own. To my opponent; just post any type of poem that you like. It must be completely original and all written by yourself. Please vote based on the creativity and poetic elements included in the poems. Thank you.
My first poem: Hiding Places

A hiding place, a hiding place...
You ducked out from me and found one,
It was fine before, but now what have you done?
Tell me when you're ready, I'll need to know...

A secret place, a secret place...
Inside your mind you stay far away from me,
This is absolutely not what we should be!
I'll tell you now love, this isn't the answer...

A beautiful place, a beautiful place...
It didn't exist yet, but we both had claimed it,
I wish you made more effort, just a little bit...
But now you're looking to give the joy away...

A darkened place, a darkened place...
I have to fall down to its depths for now,
Because I messed things up somehow?
But I pray that it's not true, you'll come back...

A hopeful place, a hopeful place...
I still have you here with me in my mind,
Will you go there with me? Are you that kind?
I'm really not so sure but I'm not giving up just yet...

A hiding place, a hiding place...
Now I've found mine and it'll keep me safe,
For now while you're confused and disgraced.
I want to let you know, that I still adore you...
Vi_Veri

Con

I do not love her as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love her as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

And so it is...

My words slowly seep
Through nooks and crannies
Captivating her very soul
Questioning those lain before her
Slowly dissipating dark into light
For their essence is too grand

Locked deep in her heart
Waiting as time plunders
Flowing through crimson shafts
Of empty hopes and lost dreams
Making the iris of her very being
Glistening within her solemn beauty

White sparkles drifting in eternity
Stealing the very breath I breathe
Resting patiently within her being
Concealed under layers of pain
Hidden to the world before her
For her love is only mine.
Debate Round No. 1
LLAMA

Pro

This is a poem I wrote comparing this guy in my life who upset me and then a guy that I really liked while noting all their differences and then how they're actually similar. It is called: My Only Exception

There you are, and we're definitely not even,
Are you an angel? A God? I think a demon.
Though, you consider me less than Satan himself,
Which makes you look bad. And I think that myself.

You're blind and ignorant, it's all you'll ever see,
You can't come to your senses, you'll lose more than just me.
You're rage-full like a bull, and bull is all you can say
Without me you're nothing, I'm too good for your fray.

All the things that you say, are just your deception,
And to all of that, I'm your only exception.

But there you are! The silver in the darkness,
Every evening turns to joy from the afternoon's starkness,
The thoughts of you follow me all the time while I'm alone,
And I leave you every night with a frown and a groan.

There should be a place where it's just you and me,
Nobody else, so that we can be free.
But while I have to cope with my awful mess,
I promise to be content with the loneliness.

And to my hopelessly bleak perception,
You love, are just my only exception
Vi_Veri

Con

Vi_Veri forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 2
LLAMA

Pro

LLAMA forfeited this round.
Vi_Veri

Con

I had this dream to become an Actor
But New York city harbored my fears
Never once considered my poverty a factor
of the reality that kept me here

I kissed you at the center of the universe
Your hands holding me up - giving me pity
found meaning for every vibrations of verse
I died on the outskirts of the city

I had this dream to become a dancer
As the cars passed, like stars, like bits of hope
But Harlem robbed me of my pennies like cancer
the only dancing in this city is from a rope

I missed you at the center of the universe
Your eyes holding my image - what a pity
I moved to you by the rhythm of your verse
I died in the streets of the city

I had this dream to become a poet
as the seasons taught me of regret to come
the sins ran as a current of ink to permit
the sorrows to write then drown in rum

I forgot you at the center of the universe
Your memory holding on - bear the pity
I let go of everything for that grand verse
I starved from the wealth of the city

I had this dream to become a lover
But there is no love in this city.
Debate Round No. 3
23 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by Danielle 7 years ago
Danielle
Frank doesn't read or vote on the merit of the debate, but merely votes for you or him. This is obvious. It's not hard to submit 2 IPs lolol. I didn't vote on any of your debates except for this one, which I legitimately feel you lost. I changed my vote because I believe in combatting v-bombing with v-bombing. If your friend can give you 7, why can't I give her 7? My "conduct" in the other debate was no worse than my opponents, and in addition, you could have given him conduct points and not necessarily ALL the points which he clearly did not deserve. I'm also not complaining or starting an argument here -- just pointing out the bombing.
Posted by Vi_Veri 7 years ago
Vi_Veri
Nvm, scratch that - EVERYONE who voted in this debate gave 7 points to either you or me.
Posted by Vi_Veri 7 years ago
Vi_Veri
1. Almost everyone who voted in this debate voted all 7 points to either you or me.

2. The DDO user "Philosphical" said the same thing as Rails - "Our IP's don't match! We're not the same person!" and he ended up being the same person as "GhostWriter" and "Foshizzle." Words = Zero proof. This is the internet.
Posted by LLAMA 7 years ago
LLAMA
The accounts run off of different IP's or something. Railsguardian says he can prove they are different, I honestly am not knowledgeable on computer technology and such so I can't prove this to you but the accounts are all used by three different people. And because her entire 7 point vote all for you wasn't a vote bomb. The comment wasn't immature either. I'm sorry, I would really rather if she hadn't done anything to this debate at all.
Posted by Vi_Veri 7 years ago
Vi_Veri
Also, no one is vote bombing you, Llama. If you didn't know, she read this debate because she is my girlfriend and is thus required to read all my debates ;) She's not following you. Don't flatter yourself.
Posted by Vi_Veri 7 years ago
Vi_Veri
Frank and Rails tend to vote bomb together - hence the accusation, Llama.
Posted by LLAMA 7 years ago
LLAMA
Look, okay, I'm not trying to start crap here but the fact that you (Lwerd) bring yourself to this completely different debate and vote bomb against me and then comment with your false speculation that I have a fake account is not a very mature, kind or reasonable thing to do. They're all different accounts with different people who log in. Where you got that I have no idea and Railsguardian says he can prove that with some sort of computer thingy that I don't understand. I have nothing against either of you and nor did I want to have you ravaging through all of my debates vote bombing against me because you're angry. Did I do that to you? No, and nor will I. Because that is not a very reasonable thing to do. My only issue was with your debating conduct on that other debate. Why you have any reason at all to complain and start an argument here I have no idea, but for the sake of maturity, I think you should stop. I stopped commenting the other debate and I brought nothing more towards you, why you had any reason to do THIS now? I don't know...
Posted by Railsguardian 7 years ago
Railsguardian
for the last time, check the IPs, and learn the truth - this is NO fake account of mine!
Posted by Danielle 7 years ago
Danielle
Pointing out the fact that frank is your (or your friend's) fake account does not make me immature.
Posted by Vi_Veri 7 years ago
Vi_Veri
Llama, grow up.
11 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Vote Placed by emj32 4 years ago
emj32
LLAMAVi_VeriTied
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Reasons for voting decision: Forfeit by Pro on last round.
Vote Placed by quarterexchange 6 years ago
quarterexchange
LLAMAVi_VeriTied
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Reasons for voting decision: Pro didn't vote 7pts for themself
Vote Placed by Atheism 6 years ago
Atheism
LLAMAVi_VeriTied
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Vote Placed by True2GaGa 6 years ago
True2GaGa
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Vote Placed by belle 7 years ago
belle
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Vote Placed by LLAMA 7 years ago
LLAMA
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Vote Placed by Hurstman 7 years ago
Hurstman
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Vote Placed by Danielle 7 years ago
Danielle
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Vote Placed by Railsguardian 7 years ago
Railsguardian
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Vote Placed by Vi_Veri 7 years ago
Vi_Veri
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