Quote Debate

Well Here's how this will work. Each round you may post up to 3 quotes and the person with the better quotes win.

I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.
George Bernard Shaw

"If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life."
Tommy Lasorda

I heard a joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor... I am Pagliacci." Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.
Rorschach

First round theme-Government

Service!

"Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage. "
-H. L. Mencken

"Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master."
-George Washington

"If 'pro' is the opposite of 'con' what is the opposite of 'progress'?"
-Paul Harvey

I would like to Thank my opponent for excepting this debate and look forward to a fun one at that.

Theme for the round will be- death

According to the L.A. Times, Attorney General John Ashcroft wants to take "a harder stance" on the death penalty. What's a harder stance on the death penalty? We're already killing the guy? How do you take a harder stance on the death penalty? What, are you going to tickle him first? Give him itching powder? Put a thumbtack on the electric chair.
Jay Leno

In the long run we are all dead.
John Maynard Keynes

The death of one man is a tragedy. The death of millions is a statistic.
Joseph Stalin

Second round theme-Humor

"A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah."
-Ronald Reagan

"Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot."
-Groucho Marx

"I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me."
-Stephen Fry

Nice ones...

Theme for round three-Life

"Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death"
Albert Einstein

However mean your life is, meet it and live it: do not shun it and call it hard names. Cultivate poverty like a garden herb, like sage. Do not trouble yourself much to get new things, whether clothes or friends. Things do not change, we change. Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts. God will see that you do want society.
Henry David Thoreau

Life is just one damned thing after another
Erbert Hubbard

Thanks for the "Debate"