The Instigator
PatriotPerson
Pro (for)
Losing
5 Points
The Contender
Raisor
Con (against)
Winning
6 Points

Rap Battle: Adolf Hitler vs. Joseph Stalin

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 4 votes the winner is...
Raisor
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 10/26/2013 Category: Funny
Updated: 3 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 4,866 times Debate No: 39485
Debate Rounds (5)
Comments (16)
Votes (4)

 

PatriotPerson

Pro

This will be a rap battle, obviously. I will be rapping as Hitler, meaning you will be Stalin. The first round is for acceptance, I will post my first rap in the second round. Than we continue rap battling until the debate is over.

RULES:
-No vulgarity (Yes I know most raps contain this but we all can be mature here).
-You must stay in character.
-Your raps must be in English. You may have occasional words in your language (yours is Russian, mine is German) to add some rhyme, but English must be the most dominant language in your raps.
-Raps cannot be longer than 25 lines (if you would like to change this, comment and we can discuss changing).
-Your first rap (which will be in the second round) will be you introducing yourself, saying how slick your rhyme is, how cool you are, etc.

So I'm Hitler, you're Stalin. Good luck.
Raisor

Con

With grace and humility Raisor kindly accepts
this challenge from a Patriot I'm sure is adept

But don't doubt it at all by my kind introduction
that the real battle here won't be quite so touching.

These bars will get harder, these rhymes will get sharper
When Old Joe drags you back to the U.S.S.R.
Debate Round No. 1
PatriotPerson

Pro

My name is Adolf Hitler
Stronger than Heinrich Himmler
My rhymes will give you cramps
Stronger than concentration camps.

I was the cause of the Holocaust,
You can't beat me at any cost.
I used to follow the Church and the Steeple,
we were both ones to kill our own people.

I'll slap you across your commie face,
you're a disgrace to the perfect German race.
It is clear I'll be the sieger (1)
because your skills are just meager.

Now go back to your cave, you ignorant punk.
The command of your army makes you seem like you're drunk.
My mustache brings me cash, your's just brings a rash.
Without your allied powers, you'd immediately crash.

I wrote Mein Kampf (2) and Zweites Buch (3),
With the thought of me, your whole army shook.
As long as I'm around, you can't get any crueler.
So give up now, and bow down to the Fuhrer (4)

If you challenge me, Stalin,
You'll end up crawlin'!
Ich bin ein Berliner (5),
And with skills like these, you'll never be the winner.

Frieden! (6)

Translations:
(1) sieger is the German word for winner.
(2) Mein Kampf was a book by Hitler. It means, "My Struggle."
(3) Zweites Buch was also a book by Hitler. It means, "Second Book". I know, such an excellent book title.
(4) Fuhrer is the German word for leader or commander.
(5) Ich bin ein Berliner translates in English to "I am a Berliner". A Berliner is a person from or somehow involved with Berlin, Germany.
(6) Frieden is the German word for peace. You know, like how rappers say "peace" when they're done.
Raisor

Con

Forget all talk of Supermen and kneel
Before - the original man of steel [1]

Forged with Red fire,
On a revolutionary pyre
I consume all rivals- like the tsarists and Trotsky
Feel the heat as you melt like a Snowball beneath me

Now get on your knees, put your ear to the ground
As my Soviet proles stomp collectively down
The course of our march is dialectically sure
The ranks of my men Ideologically pure.

I find with most men they best not compare sizes
Though your army"s not even one third of what mine is
But I"m sure miss Eva is perfectly happy
Despite rumors your love life gets a little bit crappy. [2]

So welcome to the party!
Best fall in behind me
Sit down, Shut up, meet my simple criteria
Or be left in the cold, out in lovely Siberia

But if your views so obscured by your racist Nazi vision
That you try to storm in, try to cook in my kitchen
I have nothing to say that the whole world can"t see
But I"ll say it real slow so you perceive it clearly

WE WILL BURY YOU

[1] "Stalin" is nickname that derives from the Russian word for "steel"
[2] http://www.cracked.com...
Debate Round No. 2
PatriotPerson

Pro

How dare you insult the Nazi pride!
And how dare you denounce my only bride!
I beat the Poles and Czechs, guess who's next?
I'll carve my name into your communist necks!

I brought my country to fame,
You brought your's to shame.
Now step up to the game,
Before I set Russia aflame.

Better prepare yourself, Soviet Union,
The Axis will have one Holle (1) of a reunion!
Welcome to Deutschland, (2) where I rule with an iron hand!
When I'm done with you, you won't be able to stand!

You call yourself the man of steel?
You'd be better off if you would kneel!
The man of steel is Superman,
Can you fit nothing else in your Dummkopf (3) can?

You call me a snowball, you'll get a blizzard! An avalanche!
I'm so slick, you'll kacken (4) your pants!
My people have rage burning like fire,
We'll make you bow down to the German Empire!

From Hamburg (5) to Brandenburg, (6)
I'll beat you harder than I beat Luxembourg! (7)
So back off, Soviet trottel (8)
I'm kickin' this rap into full throttle.

Frieden! (9)

Translations:
(1) Holle is the German word for Hell. And no, that doesn't count as vulgarity, it's just a place.
(2) Deutschland is German for Germany.
(3) Dummkopf is German for fool.
(4) Kacken is German for poop.
(5) Hamburg is a city in Germany.
(6) Brandenburg is also a city in Germany.
(7) Luxembourg is a neighboring country to Germany that was occupied by Germany during WWII.
(8) Trottel is German for idiot.
(9) Again, Frieden means peace.



Raisor

Con

I am cunning and hard, I'm alert, I trust no one
That why I was ready when you snuck into Poland
Caught your hand when you attempted that stab in the back
With black bear fury I was quick to react
You bent over the trough, tried to gobble the East
When my homies in France interrupted your feast
As they charged up your rear, your mouth open in fear
The world watched you fall on the tip of my spear.

Listen up little boy- lets compare and contrast
While my empire lasts, your Third Reich will crash,
You will burn and explode like a doomed kamikazee
The fallout erasing all trace of the Nazi.

Don"t even pretend that you spit any game,
Weak men steal others lines cause their own are lame.
We know your obsession with 'berg, 'feld, and 'stein
But saying it twice doesn't count as a rhyme.
Why don"t you dish face to face, come and meet me in Moscow
-Wait you tried that and froze like a prisoner at Dachau
Instead I"ll trek to Berlin and bash in your door
I"ll do you a favor and clean your brains off your floor.

So save us the trouble, by now you're just stalling
Say the name of the man before whom you"ve just fallen
It"s the same name you can hear the whole audience calling
Say my name punk - IT'S STALIN.
Debate Round No. 3
PatriotPerson

Pro

I'm slick, I'm cold, I like things frozen!
You'll be squashed by the man the people have chosen!
I'm sweet with my rhymes, quick with my wits.
You'll be dead sooner than the jews in Auschwitz! (1)

Don't even judge the Swastika,
Nazi ideologies even spread to America!
Why should I obey the man who can't even spell "Kamikaze"?
All you got is haters, I've got a paparazzi.

How about we meet in Berlin, say Friday night?
You're too busy killing random people? Yeah, that's right...
At least I believed in my cause,
And could put up a fight.

Come on Stalin, I'll show you to your grave.
Or would you rather me take Russia, and make it my slave?
Bow down before the real land of the brave,
Nazi Deutschland is starting a rave!

Why don't we see who has the stronger empire?
You could be beaten by a mere church choir.
Better surrender now,
Before my Soldaten (2) hang you on a wire!

Let's take a look at what rhymes with Stalin:
Crawlin', Bawlin', and Fallin'.
Which is exactly what I'll do to you!
A bit past 8:00, here's my cue

WE WILL PULVERIZE YOU!

Translations
:
(1) Auschwitz was a concentration camp.
(2) Soldaten is German for soldiers.


Raisor

Con

At least you have shown you can follow instruction
Made you say my name TWICE and admit your destruction

Now Frank and Winston want to join Stalingrad
DJ switch up the beat for my allied comrades


FDR has hit the beach
I got a bullet in the breach
I got a – aeroplane,
an H-bomb with your name,
and I don’t need no legs
to crush you like an egg.

so fear my infantry's precision
reconsider your position
while I liberate the French
from your German stench.


Hit it Churchill


When your Luftwaffe flies
Your evil clouds the skies
think you finally found a way to put my mettle to the test
But with my feet on the ground I swat em down like pests
you’ve only rattled my chain
heads up, this bulldog’s insane
cause I can take them V2 rockets you been tossin my way
but when its my turn you will learn that Winston Churchill don’t play


After our show of force its time you surrender
Or do us one better- stick your face in a blender.
Debate Round No. 4
PatriotPerson

Pro

Why don't you just say "Hitler"?
Right now, nothing of yours could get any littler.
I've got Mussolini, Hirohito, boy am I glad.
I got more than one Axis comrade.

FDR hit the beach?
Mr. Showa really did hit his beach. (1)
H-Bomb, does that "H" mean "Hitler"?
We certainly are the bombs, even Mr. Himmler.
You crush me like an egg, I'll fold you like origami.
Get ready to be a swan, you arrogant commie.

Even though your skills are teeny,
Just for now, don't be a meanie.
This guy, he's slick like a genie.
Put your hands together for my pal Mussolini!

MUSSOLINI:
Italy's got more than pizza and linguine.
They've got me, Boss Mussolini!
We've got an army of chrome,
And we'll knock you from London to Rome.
My power's enough to scare your men out their tights,
We'll beat you down, then read you your rights.
Oh wait, you have none,
'Cause when you taunt Italy, you stare into a gun.
It'd be best if you grab your crumpets and run,
By the time we catch up, you'll already be done!
piu tardi, perdenti
! (2)

(1) a reference to the attacks on Pearl Harbor.
(2) "piu tardi, perdenti!" Is Italian for "later, losers!"


Raisor

Con

Now the end has arrived-
May 1945
The German force is scattered
The Nazi flag in tatters.

This foolish German Fuhrer
Thought himself a Russian ruler
But the hammer came down
I smashed your Axis crown
The sickle sliced twice
With your blood you paid the price
Of trying to swallow steel
Trying to bend what will not yield.

I got the mouth of a cobra
What I spit will kill ya
While your words are mushy
Like they dribbled out of your tushy

Your motto when you check the score:
"Lost the battle, not the war"
keep up that loser mentality
deny the true eventuality
There is only one way to figure-
This all ends with the Soviet victor.
Debate Round No. 5
16 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by TrueScotsman 3 years ago
TrueScotsman
This is an EPIC rap battle! I can't vote either way as both would be a tie in my mind. Great stuff!!
Posted by Tiimow 3 years ago
Tiimow
Strong debate. I liked the idea of rap-debating. Keep going. Good luck.
Posted by STALIN 3 years ago
STALIN
Obama is not a paranoid person. If he would, the USA would be in really bad shape.

Watch this video
https://www.youtube.com...

This historian talks about the reason Hitler lost WWII and that reason is that Hitler was because Hitler put his ideology in front of his country and the army.
Posted by PatriotPerson 3 years ago
PatriotPerson
Oh, so it's okay to kill people because you're paranoid about them? That's like Obama going into a Congress meeting and shooting every Republican in the room.
Posted by STALIN 3 years ago
STALIN
Its one thing to believe in doing good for a country. A complete different thing to actually DO good for a country. And Stalin also believed he was doing good for His country, its just that he believed that all those people he killed were getting in the way of him doing good which is why he killed many people. Stalin also killed people because he was constantly worried about people betraying/working against him, in other words he was paranoid. Hitler killed people simply because he did not like them since he thought the Germans were the "master race".
Posted by PatriotPerson 3 years ago
PatriotPerson
Because he did good for his country and actually believed what he was doing was for the greater good. Stalin killed his own people just to have the power.
Posted by STALIN 3 years ago
STALIN
Yes, but why did you say that Hitler > Stalin?
Posted by PatriotPerson 3 years ago
PatriotPerson
Bro, this is the THIRD time I've said that Hitler was a terrible person. My goodness.
Posted by STALIN 3 years ago
STALIN
Hitler is also a terrible person, even more terrible than Stalin was. He is considered to be the most evil dictator in history.
Posted by PatriotPerson 3 years ago
PatriotPerson
I don't. I just said he was a terrible person.
4 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 4 records.
Vote Placed by STALIN 3 years ago
STALIN
PatriotPersonRaisorTied
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Total points awarded:30 
Reasons for voting decision: Although I would have liked to vote for Con, Pro definitely has a stronger side. He uses words in German which is a bonus for him. That is the main reason I vote Pro.
Vote Placed by Mikal 3 years ago
Mikal
PatriotPersonRaisorTied
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Total points awarded:23 
Reasons for voting decision: So save us the trouble, by now you're just stalling Say the name of the man before whom you"ve just fallen It"s the same name you can hear the whole audience calling Say my name punk - IT'S STALIN. that won the battle for me. I loled for a few minutes, and it reminded me of 8 mile for some reason Sources to pro because he actually did a full round full on translations.
Vote Placed by calculatedr1sk 3 years ago
calculatedr1sk
PatriotPersonRaisorTied
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Reasons for voting decision: Con struck from both sides, and his rhymes hit hard. Pro mostly followed his lead, always behind by a yard. I almost want to give Pro sources for all the citations Was this a rap battle, or 101 history of nations?
Vote Placed by Ragnar 3 years ago
Ragnar
PatriotPersonRaisorTied
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Reasons for voting decision: Good job all around. Pro very nearly came in ahead with those nice translations (evidence category, so sources is what I would have awarded), however I can't get the information about Hitler and Poop out of my head. Therefore I'm having to cast a null vote, as both were fantastic!