The Instigator
cakerman
Con (against)
Losing
3 Points
The Contender
Emilrose
Pro (for)
Winning
6 Points

Rap Battle - Come Hard With Your Bars Part III

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 3 votes the winner is...
Emilrose
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 8/17/2017 Category: Music
Updated: 11 months ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 926 times Debate No: 103588
Debate Rounds (5)
Comments (33)
Votes (3)

 

cakerman

Con

Rap Battle, Come hard with the bars


Proudly Presenting Part III in The Ever-Expanding Series!

Rules:

1. ABSOLUTELY NO STEALING ACCEPTABLE, BREAKING THIS RULE MEANS INSTANT DISQUALIFICATION

2. Should be judged on wordplay and rhyme schemes/word choice

3. Be as savage as you can/want, no holds barred

4. Use as much of the word limit as you want

Good luck! Anyone willing to step up to the challenge can Message me privately or comment on this debate and we can get a part IV going immediately.

Start your bars in your round 1 argument
Emilrose

Pro

Hallo! I've chosen to participate in this rap battle--not my first, but it's been a while.

==========*.*======*.*==========

So I'm rapping someone called cakerman
He's more fat than your longest-serving baker man

51 years old and doing rap battles
While he's sat there in his chair twisting his nipple tassels

Why aren't you fvcking your wife?
Instead of rapping with young folk and giving us strife

Maybe it's because she doesn't exist
After all who'd wanna give you a kiss

Nobody wants to ride on that fat belly
Got more bouncing around than a 60 year old divorcee named Kelly

Only got 3 friends in your profile
You need to stop being so fvcking docile

You're pro on legalized prostitution cus' you know it's the only way you'll ever get a woman to loosen

They charge extra for you, seeing as it's no easy screw

After you've finished, they can't wait to go home
They'd get more satisfaction out of a kids nit comb

They also wouldn't now be shaped like a pancake
Due to your fatness you've given them the flatness
Debate Round No. 1
cakerman

Con

hah, yo check it

they call me cakerman because you can never trust a skinny chef

surprisingly your rhyme game is weaker than your gag reflex

im not 51, show some respect before i bring you back to the old days of Inspectah Deck

4 lines in and you're already hobblin' on your last leg

now shut the f-ck up before i peg you right in the head with an egg

you should buy a s-it ton of bleach and drink entire an entire keg

i'll have you on your knees begging for mercy

that fake S-S-Sniperwolf imitation got you looking thirsty

that's right, i stuttered like a man with tourette's in his thirties

you're calling the shots? now i'm fighting dirty

you're in some deep s-it, better start praying to the clergy

yo

zip up the body bag, flip your corpse into the lake, dispose of the dirty dishrag in the saddlebags of my bike pushin' 200 horses, beating the s-it out of you with magical forces and return to my cabin in the abandoned forest where a f-cking flying saucer came down and i had to barter my way out of getting my anus probed, now i just gotta wear this tracking collar but I guess it's better than getting 0 dollars to disrobe. but noone bothered to call out emilrose for wearing the same clothes from '94 the year she was born

making fat jokes, i'll choke you for provoking me in front of these folks, say you smoke weed and pull out a damn artichoke

i'll rip you up like JimShady, and after this i'm gonna blast a fool. That's right, i'm coming after your neck Masterful
Emilrose

Pro

So you try to retort
But fail more than that cheap rubber dildo your mother just bought

You should know better than to lie about your age, to teach you a lesson I'm gonna cook you like sage

Your attempts are just hilarious, so amusing you're making me delirious

Talkin' about how you'd peg with an egg, btch I'd break your fvcking leg

Then I'll hang on a wall, and come at you with a saw

You'll be begging me for mercy, but that'll just make me more thirsty

Unlike you I wouldn't even use a body bag, instead I'll just wrap your bits up in a dirty rag

So what if I wear clothes from 94? I still manage to make desperadoes like you drool

All vacant cus of all the dope you smoke
You're more pathetic than an ugly woman with hope

You like getting your anus probed? I'll probe it for you, using a stick which I'll then shove in your mouth
Throughly abusing your poor little self

I bought that ton of bleach too, and now I'm gonna use it all on you
Debate Round No. 2
cakerman

Con

still flowing with that weak format? you've entered verbal combat, Hussein's back, you didn't forfeit when you had the chance you f-cking dingbat, spittin' so hot you'd swear i broke the thermostat you think your written is good? You're just a copycat, make this the 9th loss after i spat on your grave, cop that. You're brave for f-ckin' with a cat that's a lyrical acrobat, leave you on life support "IV, STAT!"

I'll bang your head on the prison toilet and slip you a napkin with some poison on it, lock you in the janitors closet and tell the warden "SHE STARTED!", these gold chains i've flaunted, money i've counted, bud i've touted, I think you're jealous because you were adopted.

This is supposed to be freestyle, but instead you wait a day and half to post some vile half-a$$ed rhymes, meanwhile i'm sitting in the 99th percentile of all the DDO rappers but i've got a stockpile of improv rhymes to smash a crocodile, got that rhymes make no sense lifestyle because i'm just writing what comes directly to mind, sick like Michael Myers psychiatrist.


Rap circles around you like i'm stirring up a soup, motherf-cker can't match my style when i'm riding the coupe, best be careful 'fore you get your a$$ whooped. "WOOF WOOF" That's how the barrel is barkin' so rich I walk down the street Tony Starkin' better come with the cash cause i'm markin' up the price of your life. hocus pocus magic sh-t I always stay focused, evey single word you spit is bogus, so i recommend you don't come at me checkin' or i'll leave your body stiff in the frozen meat section
Emilrose

Pro

Here we go again, with your verbal dyslexia
Worse than a case of severe anorexia

Your words make no sense
Cus you're so fvcking dense

Rapping about how you're gonna kill me
But I've already cut you into little parts
And now I'm gonna use your head for a nice games of darts

If you wanted freestyle you should've lessened the time, but maybe next I'll wait another 48 hours for you to see my rhyme

I enjoy making you wait, as you take my bait

Trying to insult me by saying I have a bad gag reflex
Guys with an 11 inch dik make for easy oral sex

Just cus your own penis is tiny
There's no need for you to be so whiny

You're being too gracious with all this freezer talk, as I'd leave your remains out in the heat like discarded meat

No grave at all, you don't deserve one
You're just gonna rot in the sun

As for the poison, you really think that's scary? I'll have you bent right down praying for mother Mary
Debate Round No. 3
cakerman

Con

Your rhyme schemes are worse than your punchlines, you've already played off of my rhymes 2 or 3 times now, ever since round 1 you've been on a steady decline, claim you aren't a slut but got a nasty case of epstein the stars have aligned themselves well electrically charged like an alkaline battery got me feelin' swell you can never undermine my rap skills they get swell you're the type of b-tch to fear Herobrine look. Here's the guidelines to being a smooth criminal crook, gotta be sharp as a porcupine , gotta be subliminal when you're counterfeiting books, you're a damn concubine with nothing, not even looks, my hands hit 'ya like razor sharp fish hooks tough s-it, overcooked chicken, the s-it you say should be forbidden, you don't have to try so hard to fit in with the rap battle scene you should know better than to face off with a rhymin' machine i'm beatin' the heat everyday between 9 AM to 3, i'm the aquamarine fiend never hurt like my blood was morphine, my s-its spotless, you're unclean, i'm gettin' to stabbing you like it was Halloween, roll up in a limousine always, i may be built like a jellybean but at least when I was a fetus I wasn't addicted to nicotine. Jumpin' on you like a trampoline, spittin' hotter than burning kerosene shakin' s-it up like a tambourine got the herbs like wintergreen goin' deeper than a submarine, you're an addict known for abusing mescaline, rupture your spleen run away from the scene, gettin' fly like a bundle of geese


You think i went hard before you're gonna get a load of gore in round 4 i'm ready to eat, speakin' of eating how is your job sampling semen, you can take 11 inches? might as well swing for the fences 18 incher will make you sh-t your britches, im burnin' bridges, I envisioned this from the start you hit harder than a bag of feathers but I still feel bad for beating on this female like my name was Mayweather
Emilrose

Pro

So you have Aspergers as well
Slow to learn, I'll make you burn

You should put paragraphs between your sentences and do yourself favour
When you've learned how to write, I'll get you to perform some pvssy licking labour

Rubbing my clit all over your face while your hands are tied up with lace

Make sure you suck well, cus if you don't you'll get hit over the heat with a big metal bell

I'll tell you when to stop, and use you like a mop

After that I'll get your dik, and wankk it into oblivion, making you go crazy like a coked-up Bolivian

As tiny your dik is, you'd still shoot loads of jizz

Then I'd slap you in the face and put you back in your cage
Giving you a harder time than a Mexican on below minimum wage

I'll let you back out, give your tongue get a workout

Put it inside me, and make me scream like a banshee

The' time I finished, you'll be completely diminished
Debate Round No. 4
cakerman

Con

you wasted an entire round talking about how you wanna sleep around
this entire ship is about to run aground we're blowing up your spot like Osama's compund
b-tch i'm a damn classic i'm Earthbound it's profound
how you expect me to f-ck around and adopt your sh-t style you've been clowned
like an ocean wave i overwhelm you like surround sound

You're just another cattle sent off to slaughter I battered
the heart of the gabber movement no need to try and flatter
no matter what you say I always go colder than a damn blizzard
no matter what i do the smell of your body still lingers
i cut off all 10 fingers 1 at a time an then make you scissor the queen of england
f-cked up rhymes
I think you need a better structure and then you can compete
you just aren't on my level your skills aren't developed or complete
your heartbeat will cease to exist this fight was fixed beforehand
there's no way your bland raps will ever overcome me
so put on the hand wraps and fight me
until it's face to face you act a whole score of fiesty
and you pretend to be mighty
but when it comes to showtime you're flighty
Emilrose

Pro

So it's the end
I'm gonna make you bend

Finish you like I did my recent college tests
And turn your fvcking head into a birds nest

Having to read all your rambles, your raps are a shambles

Your methods at killing are pathetic, now I'm gonna put you under anaesthetic

Drill a hole into your brain like Jeffrey Dahmer, and keep you around for days like an embalmer

I'll study your anatomy, dissecting you casually

Cutting off your fingers, making them my sex toys
Exploiting you harder than those cheap whores your daddy employs

You sucked in this rap
Like watching an old man fap

Got no skill, instead you just squeal

Trying to come off as strong, you idiot I could beat you all night long

Like an animal attacked, your dignity's been ransacked

I'm gonna enjoy messing with your corpse before eating it with forks

So deal with your loss, cus I'm your fvcking boss
Debate Round No. 5
33 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by HellishPanda 10 months ago
HellishPanda
http://www.debate.org...
Vote on my debate.
Posted by Masterful 10 months ago
Masterful
"I'd break your fvcking leg"

"anus probed? I'll probe it for you, using a stick which I'll then shove in your mouth"

"Drill a hole into your brain"

"cut you into little parts"

"I'd leave your remains out in the heat like discarded meat"

These are just some of the things you can expect to hear from Emil the savage
Posted by Masterful 10 months ago
Masterful
"Cutting off your fingers, making them my sex toys"

Holy sh*t, Emil is a savage lmao
Posted by Emilrose 11 months ago
Emilrose
No, it isn't. Some of the best raps are when there's no (majorly) elaborate lines--when things are kept relatively simple, but still slightly aggressive.
Posted by cakerman 11 months ago
cakerman
I thought the whole point was to have elaborate rhymes and punchlines
Posted by Emilrose 11 months ago
Emilrose
@cakerman, it was boss ;)

See, that's the thing--the Michael Myers line sounds like it'd have been okay but 'fly like a bundle of geese' just sounds overly elaborate, and not necessary. I find that the shorter the lines, the more impactful they can be; especially if you include something creative and explicit. Making references to people or places also adds some intelligence to it.
Posted by cakerman 11 months ago
cakerman
I'll be honest I really liked the Jeffrey Dahmer line that was probably the hardest hitting of them all.

I wish I had placed my Michael Myers Psychiatrist line and the fly like a bundle of geese line better but I was just typing as stuff came to my head
Posted by NDECD1441 11 months ago
NDECD1441
To be honest, both did great but it was hard for me to find the flow. The wordplay is tied as these two argued against each other pretty okay. Frankly however, this rap battle was hard but not like, steel hard but more rock hard.
Posted by Emilrose 11 months ago
Emilrose
They were dirty, but I can get dirty too. I think my Jeff Dahmer line was great.
Posted by cakerman 11 months ago
cakerman
from a purely respectful standpoint you have to admit that the SSSniperwolf line, the gag reflex line, the nicotine line and the sampling semen lines were dirty
3 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 3 records.
Vote Placed by JimShady 10 months ago
JimShady
cakermanEmilroseTied
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Total points awarded:30 
Reasons for voting decision: Emilrose wins the 1st round because honestly I didn't really understand much of what cakerman was saying. But cake returns for vengeance in Rounds 2, 3 and 4, putting him on top. His rhyme density (and how he lays it out) is much more impressive than Emilrose, and what's even more as that he is (as usual) making it up as he goes. Emilrose sometimes steals some of his rhymes, too. It's OK maybe twice, but enough is enough. cake also works some good jokes and puns into his rap (Round 4- like an ocean wave i overwhelm you like surround sound). Emilrose's Round 4 was more of a porn video than a rap diss... enjoyable, but... you know. As for Emilrose's final rap, it doesn't count. But good job to both, cake wins in my opinion.
Vote Placed by Outplayz 10 months ago
Outplayz
cakermanEmilroseTied
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Total points awarded:03 
Reasons for voting decision: creative.
Vote Placed by dsjpk5 11 months ago
dsjpk5
cakermanEmilroseTied
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Total points awarded:03 
Reasons for voting decision: Pro had better wordplay.