Rap Battle: The Joker (Pro) vs Guido Fawkes (Con)
Debate Rounds (3)
In the last round Con will type "no round as agreed upon."
Failure to do so will result in a full 7-point drop due to him/her receiving an extra round.
Lets hurry up and get it started, then.
I don't know what you thought you were doin'
Makeup and guns, man, who are you foolin'?
You're an Agent of Chaos and all I do is type
But I got nothing to fear
From Bats in the night
You got to modernise, playa
Your style's lookin' vintage
You might be scary in the 30's but you only make me cringe.
You're comin' out as scary as my VLC player.
I'd ask what your great plan is, but you ain't got one!
No lawman's gonna get caught out by you son
I bring information out and expose the secrets within
As for you? You're headin' to my recycle bin.
Now excuse me while I put a real suit on
Why ain't you take that smelly thing to your mom?
Sh*t I could sit here all day spittin' batarang rhymes
but unlike you I got places to be, and on time.
So sit in the corner and play with your toys
'cuz Harley's always lookin' at me and my boys
and if you gotta beat a woman to feel like a boss
then sorry baby, today, you're guaranteed a loss.
Why wear that mask, and try to be mysterious?
Why are you afraid to show your face to the Joker?
Is it because your whole existence is so mediocre?
I have given a name to my pain, I see, and it's you.
You're a pretty sad excuse for a rebel, it's true.
No one knows who I truly am, no one knows my life story.
I'll do whatever I want to show off my full glory.
I'll take two ships of hostages, burn all the town's money.
Smoking black powder, man? That just ain't funny.
You try to be anonymous, boy, are you kidding me?
Posting your threats on the internet for the WORLD to see?
You'll be dancing with the devil in the moonlight after we're through.
I'd give you a second chance, but you'd blow that up too.
I'll keep making lyrical art until someone dies.
Under my scars a true mercenary shall arise.
You call me an Agent of Chaos? That's a fitting name.
I did more in one movie than you did in your whole French charade.
I know you want to hit me so take a shot, vous la chatte!
I'll put your head on my knife and serve it as an entr"e.
Try to attack the government and the world loses its mind.
You need to give up your acts, and toss it all behind.
If you want to be a good criminal let me give you a tip.
Come out of the closet and grow a pair, you wimp!
No one remembers you today, you're just a mask!
People idolize your failure, cause you didn't do a simple task.
I'll call you V for my Victim, but don't worry, man.
You still have your Downs Syndrome online clan.
Is all that lead paint on your face makin' you gasp?
You ought to know better than to trust imitations
So don't act like I've a teenager's limitations
My lyrical wit has pierced thicker shells
and I've sent more than one politico straight down to hell
because death and destruction only go so far
You need to win hearts and minds to raise the bar.
So you make fun of my methods, yawn, so predictable
It'd be funny except you're as slow as a dirigible
I'm the Bane of your existence make no mistake
I out Two-Faced politicos and I watch them break
If my rhymes are too Strange for you you'd better beware
I'm just sat here spitting Deadshots with my Macbook Air
So when you pick yourself up and dust the Clay from your Face
You could take a job as a Scarecrow with that face
You move like Poison Ivy's in your pants and Zsaaz too
So Riddler me this, what really DO you do?
People been layin' bombs and shooting dudes for a number of years
Don't need a eunuch clown to teach the meaning of fear
but if you're the best we got then I'll endure your weak flow
Though I'd rather rap with White Rabbit and see how deep her hole goes.
School's in session boy you're gonna get an education
a million lines on theboard "I will pick a less ridiculous vocation"
I'll just be over here with my legions of fans
The pen is mightier than the exploding van.
People don't fear your wrath, just your bullets
They have this thing called kevlar now, look into it.
They ought to fear your jokes though, they're truly deadly
If dyin' of boredom's a regular medicinal medly
Your chaos is weak, you make sh*t up like a crazy bum
You're worse than youtube comments "lol so randumb"
There are boards on 4chan scarier than you
and that's f*cking funny, you know it's true.
So I suppose you want some grandiose "so long!"
Since I think its your bedtime, before the Bat's song
I'd read you a story but you'd probably miss the point
So instead I'll just lock you up in the joint
and even if you're out in a week, that puts me at ease
Gotham could use seven days of peace
If Governments fear their people then so should you
You get regularly smacked by a gimp in a black tutu
Sticks and stones can break my bones but you could never touch me.
Not with weak-@ss raps like those, they're worse than Imma Be!
So I'll leave a nightlight on for you, don't be scared
The bat can't get you in prison, only Bubba Jared
So get in touch with your feminine side
or spend your life on the run, always havin' to hide
From the Bat, from Me, and from life itself.
But Knight always falls, and I'm concerned for your 'ealth
So go back to doing children's parties and bar mitzfahs
I'm done talking to such a weak Chutzpah
You speak a lot of words, you like to put on a show.
You're acting out of your time, talking like some hipster.
Making me suspect you've had too much liquor.
I don't spit "Deadshots"-- I kill hotshots.
Like this Snowden wannabe tryin' to twist my stomach into knots.
I'm gonna stab my knife where your sun won't shine, I'll make you see spots!
Hopefully they'll find you before your corpse rots. I'm a boss!
I'm putting Dents in your career faster than the Baron did.
You're out of your league, and York's a-callin' your name, kid.
Who care if this is funny? I'm all about the punchline.
Your reign of intimidation is over, b*tch! The time is mine!
I'm stylin' the color of royalty, and I'm the king.
Life would be so boring if my popularity wasn't on an upswing.
I'll keep coming back, and back, and back! You can't hold me down.
I'm the toughest sh*t you'll ever face, I ain't some sad-*ss clown.
I can't be killed, I've got a criminal empire to build.
I can't be jailed, cause Arkham failed.
I can't be beat, my flows are too sweet.
I can't be influenced, so quit trying to do it to us!
Gotham needed a hero and I came to its rescue.
I'll use some of your powder, French-Fry your sorry *ss on the barbecue.
Governments don't fear the people, they fear the Joker!
So Fawke you, Mr. Vive La Revolution, you punk-*ss poser!
I'll slay the Batman, make you wear HIS mask.
No point in reformation if you can't do it with class.
I've got the balls to rip off my own face.
Every plot I make is pulled off with cackling grace.
It's not about anarchy, it's about sending a message.
If you can't do that, you don't have courage.
You couldn't act alone, you needed a whole team.
My men are collateral, replaceable to all degrees.
Tell your Caesar Conspirators they work for ME now, cause this is MY city.
It's a shame I'll have to put you down this early, what a pity.
Why don't I cut you up into pieces and feed you to your sleeper-agent followers?
Or even better yet, show you how I got these scars?
Let's put a true smile on that fake grin of yours.
And toss you in a vat of acid, even out the score.
You need to realize the fact you've lost, and now it's time to pay.
For those of you that don't already, check out Epic Rap Battles of History (ERB) on Youtube. Beethoven Vs Justin Bieber? Einstein Vs. Stephen Hawking? Blackbeard Vs. Al Capone? Aw sh*t son! Dese raps be fresh like market-ready cucumbers, yo!...is...is that how the kids say it?
F*ck it, enjoy the voting.
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