The Instigator
MassiveDump
Pro (for)
Winning
21 Points
The Contender
Rational_Thinker9119
Con (against)
Losing
6 Points

Rap Battle Tourney Round 1: MassiveDump vs. Rational_Thinker9119

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 9 votes the winner is...
MassiveDump
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 6/23/2013 Category: Entertainment
Updated: 3 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 1,529 times Debate No: 35014
Debate Rounds (2)
Comments (19)
Votes (9)

 

MassiveDump

Pro

Welcome to Round 1 of TUF's DDO member themed Rap Battle Tourney!

In this rap battle, both of have picked a DDO member to impersonate, and will battle as that DDO member.


Judging should be based on:
1. Flow of the lines
2. Rhyme quality
3. Sensibility
4. Accuracy of the insults
5. Humor
6. Cleverness/Wittiness

This battle is going to be in all-text.

MassiveDump as Himself

Rational_Thinker9119 as Himself

BEGIN

Are you ready for this flame?
cause this is ready to blow!
But I don’t need to say my name,
because you already know,

That when I walked into this game,
your rhyming sh!t had no flow,
You’ve got debates on Hall of Fame?
I didn’t f*cking think so!

Cause I look new at first sight,
But this is not a frontier,
I get more views overnight,
than you could get in year,

I’m told hair jokes left and right,
but hey, do you see a tear?
My E-L-O’s at a height,
that you could never come near,

And you could never cohere,
Right when I’m gettin’ severe,

How can you steer in the clear,

What I hear,

is that you are a queer,

But what I really hold dear,
And bro I’m being sincere,
Did you just say you’re self-employed?
Hey, that’s my mom’s career!

You like debates about religion,
so you don’t sound phony,
I can make them think I’m genius,
just by talking ‘bout ponies,

You’re a rational fake,
you’d better grow some cojon-ees,
Your debate career’s at stake,
and all your sh!t is baloney.

I’ll have your @ss on the brass,
so fast you won’t know what passed,
I’m the Mass in first class,
the forecast is placing you last,

“Woah Ace, slow the pace,
You got space, this ain’t a race,”

Or shut your FACE,

It’s my PLACE,

If you’re not BRACED, then I rest my CASE,

Because when I first got started,
they thought I was just a troll,
And if that wasn’t retarded,
Then try not having a soul,

But I climbed out of that hole,
Achieved a million goals,
Now if you can’t take the heat,
Then no one’s makin’ you scroll.

-DUMP-
Rational_Thinker9119

Con

Does DDO really think he is the best to battle me?
He only mentions "a flame" to describe his sexuality
or his red hair, in the voting section he'll be dead there
This debate? He shouldn't have accepted like a friend's dare

Your mom looks ugly like she pissed off a bad beautician
she met your father and became your dad's assistant
They produced an ugly red head with damaged vision
And now you have no "soul" like a white Jazz musician

I came here to put and end to MassiveDump
Girls call him a one minute man, a bastard chump
He tries to doggy style but can't smash the rump
or last long, he finishes from the fastest pump

Even he knows this is the start to a grueling fate
I'll bruise his face quicker than I chew threw steak
I don't even know why I accepted this dude's debate
Hey, "Angry Ginger Kid", did you lose some weight?

If he ever did comedy for crowds? They would probably heckle
MassiveDump gets lost in my eyes, I get lost in his freckles
I bet his uncle used to break him until the bed was damaged
Now you have no "soul", the Grim Reaper leaves empty handed

This debate will leave them shocked like an electric eel
His philosophy is "screw a job, it's best to steal!"
This is why rapes girls when he can't get a feel
Plus he has the sex appeal of a severed heel

MassiveDump don't want beef or to get wild
He's just angry being the red headed stepchild
After this debate, I bet his stock's gonna plummet
Son, your mom should have got socked in the stomach

Ever since he was born this guy was a loser
He would cry because people wished he'd die in a sewer
He talks about his mom but never rightfully knew her
That's why his name's "MassiveDump", his life is a pooper

He cannot come up with his own rhymes, this dude's a biter
When it comes to girls? He can't get laid unless there's booze inside her
He also likes to drug them and make them loose with cider
I am just kidding, he's a "flamer" looking like a human lighter

Peace...
Debate Round No. 1
MassiveDump

Pro

Wow RT I must admit,
That rap was really top shelf!
No I'm kidding that was sh!t,
And you should prob'ly kill yourself,

No, on second thought just quit,
Because you're broke beyond help,
But wait, I think you're Inuit,
So just go run to your elf,

But for real,

You Canadians,
Can get just so damn cocky,
But we homo sapiens,
Do better things than hockey,

Thanks for noticin' I'm thin,
But dude you sure ain't Rocky,
Hey, try jogging now and then,
You're looking kind of stocky,

(Eh?)

Do plummet and stomach rhyme,
Or're you just tryin' to bomb,
Thinker, maybe next time,
Don't use Rhymezone dot com,

Did I call you on your crime?
You'd best go cry to your mom,
'Cause my material is mine,
And it is worth a salaam,

I've just gone international,
And you've just gone to the stinker,
You think you're Rational,
More like a wishful thinker,

You know what, at least I'm funny,
Unlike people I know,
My repuation makes me money,
Oh, wassup, John Doe?

You're an old show,
You know,
That's how life'll go,
Catch RT by the toe,
If he hollers, he's slow,

You call yourself a rapper?
Man, you're making me sick.
You're gonna end up on the crapper,
Suckin' Massive Dick,

Not like you're new to that sh!t,
But damn, at least pretend,
Okay, man don't flip a t!t,
It's your fault you're a dead end,

I still got popularity,
And signature hilarity,
And *whoop* here comes the clarity:
You're not really a rarity.

I'm done :3
Rational_Thinker9119

Con

If he got the pipe from lots of guys he wouldn't be traumatized
He'd make his "display pic face" 'cause he just got sodomized
You claim you bang girls? It's to cover up your loss of pride
But nobody believes you like the news that Osama died

I'm a spectacle of sorts, you're a jester in the courts
And so gay you watch d*cks and fill out testicle reports
I'm here to take your money 'til your decimals distort
You try to lure kids in the woods like "lets go build a fort!"

This ginger snaps when he don't get fountain soda
He's depressed, you will see him on the couch with Oprah
"Today's show: the ugly kid from South Dakota
Who likes to spread jizz between his mouth and choda"

It is odd that he mentions some random rhymezone site
When he's the only one who knows about it, with eyes closed tight
This blood sucking ginger vampire steals rhymes all night
So it would be a lie if MassiveDump says "I don't bite"

It is ironic, the debate names him the The Instigater
But he's so much of a wimp he couldn't rip through paper
With a chick he can't stimulate her
Go figure..
He plays with figures, and has the figure of a figure skater

I'm as cold as a refrigerator but hot like an incubator
He don't want to win, as he just wants to get fisted later
He requests specific brands of c*ck, especially prison flavor
but claims he's not gay like "I'm just handlin' business player".

I can rhyme "plummet" with "stomach" and you're still mad weak
You're a ginger anyway, shut up when a brown haired man speaks
You look like a male Michelle Flaherty, nothing but a band geek
MassiveDump even took a tuba up the rear last week

MD probably likes a knife to spill, while I snipe to kill
This battle is his death sentence, I just made him write the will
She's ugly, but I was going to hit up his girlfriend's vagina still
'Till I found out it was more dead than zombies from Silent Hill

This weirdo wants to get sprayed on the wall like hall graffiti
I'll beat up your bro, gramps, then tell your pops to see me
If you ever made a rap album I would toss the CD
How is Ronald Weasley talkin' greasy? You lost this easy!

Debate Round No. 2
19 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by Rational_Thinker9119 3 years ago
Rational_Thinker9119
@emj32

The average person cannot follow my content as easily, because it is based on a complex acapella style. Since his content was simply and easier to follow, it created the illusion his punchline's hit harder.
Posted by emj32 3 years ago
emj32
Not sure why people thought Pro won...Con clearly got him on clever rhyme schemes and lyrical content. Pro's rhymes were rather simple too be honest.
Posted by MassiveDump 3 years ago
MassiveDump
Those are the ones you want to win anyway xD
Posted by Rational_Thinker9119 3 years ago
Rational_Thinker9119
Ya this isn't my style of battling. I like to do it live, and for money haha
Posted by MassiveDump 3 years ago
MassiveDump
Now that I understand, though, well done, RT. Awesome RFD clalculated xD
Posted by calculatedr1sk 3 years ago
calculatedr1sk
RFD:

OK look, plain and simple,
MD had the flow.
His structure? Less complex, but it was good to go,
ya know?

I like RT, I really do.
But my conscience can't pretend that Dump was full of poo.

Best spots:
"I've just gone international,
And you've just gone to the stinker,
You think you're Rational,
More like a wishful thinker,

You know what, at least I'm funny,
Unlike people I know,
My repuation makes me money,
Oh, wassup, John Doe?"

Con only called "queer"
And "redhead get into gear"
few original slams
at least that I could hear.
Posted by Rational_Thinker9119 3 years ago
Rational_Thinker9119
Good job though, you still deserve the win. I was stupid to bring my live accapella style to an internet battle, where people are used to hearing lyrics that sound like they were written to beats.
Posted by orioleking1 3 years ago
orioleking1
why only 2 rounds?
Posted by MassiveDump 3 years ago
MassiveDump
Ah, I see now.
Posted by Rational_Thinker9119 3 years ago
Rational_Thinker9119
I think I lost this debate because I am used to accapella rap battling (most people probably do not even know what that is). Since you wrote your lyrics like they were to a beat, it was simple and easy to follow.
9 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 9 records.
Vote Placed by thett3 3 years ago
thett3
MassiveDumpRational_Thinker9119Tied
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Total points awarded:30 
Reasons for voting decision: MD had a sick flow and awesome disses. Good effort by RT but I vote Massive to continue in the tournament
Vote Placed by calculatedr1sk 3 years ago
calculatedr1sk
MassiveDumpRational_Thinker9119Tied
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Total points awarded:30 
Reasons for voting decision: RFD in comments.
Vote Placed by JonMilne 3 years ago
JonMilne
MassiveDumpRational_Thinker9119Tied
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Total points awarded:30 
Reasons for voting decision: Yeah... I'd say Pro sounded more like rap, and he got more devastating "stingers" within his rap. Points go to him.
Vote Placed by Stephen_Hawkins 3 years ago
Stephen_Hawkins
MassiveDumpRational_Thinker9119Tied
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Total points awarded:30 
Reasons for voting decision: I don't really think I can say much except Pro sounded more like a rap, while R_T read OK, it just couldn't be orated and sound nice.
Vote Placed by RyuuKyuzo 3 years ago
RyuuKyuzo
MassiveDumpRational_Thinker9119Tied
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Total points awarded:30 
Reasons for voting decision: Well done all around, but ultimatly I lol'd more often at MC Massive's rhymes. I was also able to follow the flow of his rhymes much easier than with con's (though, this being a test-only rap battle makes this difficult to judge).
Vote Placed by AgentRocks 3 years ago
AgentRocks
MassiveDumpRational_Thinker9119Tied
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Total points awarded:33 
Reasons for voting decision: idk still a tie right?
Vote Placed by HeartOfGod 3 years ago
HeartOfGod
MassiveDumpRational_Thinker9119Tied
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Total points awarded:03 
Reasons for voting decision: Con's rhymes seemed more clever and intricate. pro had a couple of funny one liners but that was about it.
Vote Placed by Guy_D 3 years ago
Guy_D
MassiveDumpRational_Thinker9119Tied
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Reasons for voting decision: I read over both sides of what was being debated. Must admit that I finished feeling somewhat deflated... Na just kidding it was a pretty funny go... Kidding again... you guys f*cking blow. ;)
Vote Placed by TULIP 3 years ago
TULIP
MassiveDumpRational_Thinker9119Tied
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Total points awarded:30 
Reasons for voting decision: Pro had quite combats to Con. They both did well but Pro gets the convincing points.