Rap Battle. (TV Characters)
Debate Rounds (4)
Al Bundy (Married With Children)
Larry David (Curb Your Enthusiasm)
Dexter Morgan (Dexter)
Kenny Powers (Eastbound and Down)
We will write rhymes as if we were the character we chose. Each rap should be at least 20 lines although there is no limit. That's basically it and good luck to the challenger.
Naturally, I'll take Dexter Morgan. The viability of my options greatly diminish from there. :P
Well, let's dance.
You know I'm representin'
The Polk High legend.
Preachin every day, the Bundy way, like a reverand.
I'm flexin, about to teach you a f****n lesson.
About dope rhyming and to honor my prescence.
You don't care about women, so I'm not second guessin,
that your child was born like the immaculate conception.
You think you're a killer?
Lyrically I'm like Freddy,
chop you up into confetti, spaghetti, you know i'm deadly.
With the machete, I cause havoc like Jason.
My flow's adjacent to the hell that I be raisin.
Marriage is the only hard time that I'm facin'
Oh, and the temptations from big breasted caucasians.
But what the f**k you know about straight penetration?
Desert dick mothaf****, dry like the Arabian!
I think you use needles to knock out men cause you be rapin them
God's forsaken him.
I'm bout to take it up another notch.
You go no badge and still work for the cops.
I hope you rot, and your loser a** parents prolly got murdered for some pot
I bring the omen, f**k a p***y kill room, I'm Conan.
Desimate you like cartheginians by the Romans.
I'm rippin cartiledge, causin carnage like Spartacus, because I'm heartless.
Four touchdowns in one game, you know the name and I live for the fame,
Used to have mad hoes in high school before I tamed.
I'd put you to shame with how many b*****s I entertained.
Youre a lame, a social outcast, a dude that got gassed
By a crazy woman and almost got caught up in her warpath.
Bundy ain't like that, Bundy spits straight crack.
Bundy hates fat women, bundy's a straight mack
I drink a brew and read biggums, while starin at fake racks.
Sit back and relax and ponder how much i want the single life back!
I'm a true American, the fusion of the glory and failures of all men.
Dexter is a strange gay dude obsessed with coffins,
And probably jerks off to Dr. Kevorkian.
I think I know why that you're so strange, have no friends and crazy,
You grew up being raised by John Wayne Gacy.
He used to tell you to swallow his babies when he shot you wit his man-gravy.
I'm brutally honest when I drop this, I feed on peoples misery.
Dexter is impotent mentally and physically.
Start thinkin realistically, study me like ancient history.
Watch these metaphors and similies come together like a symphony
You could never be in No Ma'am, you lack the credentials.
No women, no virgins, no f*****s, and no mentals!
Because I have a dark passenger to slay murderous peasants on cypher vents
I hope you've been on the couch sippin Bud since, so you're numb to this
But, you'll still feel nervous when I inject you with my verses intravenous
I'm seriously the meanest, you have no idea, I'm simply a genius
My methodology is the cleanest to defeat you weak emcees
Smoke trees and breath easy, then speak seething syllables, 20 cc's
Speak into your eyes like Avatar, "you see me," immediate accountability
And with my gifted lingual ability, draw the truth out of your weak proclivities
With images around you that detail the worst of your evil deeds
And you'll likely cry for God to save you, but there will be no one there to heed
I'll challenge you to pray, then immediately intercede, like releasing seed
As I watch you bleed, lyrically rampaged, I might as well format a red page
Like, no contest -- nolo contendre -- you're a weak sack of failure and double-entendre
I originate in the head of Lindsay, a decent scribe, I'd say, respectable latter-day
And by the way, to speak realistically, you're from network Tv
Son, I'm from Showtime, pay channels -- sometimes, you'll see tittees
It's like a movie every week, some people plan dates around me
So, please, you can't see me, I'm a beast, a demon from Miami beach
That'll release the rage of my mother's murder all over your nappy fleece
Dexter is only known for virginity, simplicity.
I'm an American Icon.
And when my mic's on, you fall like Saigon.
I strike kinda like a phython.
My exploits are life long.
The fourth quarter touchdown, The game winning basket.
You never experienced this, you were always gettin ya a** kicked.
and I find that tragic.
Bundy is a veteran, All-American.
Severin heads like thug Mexican
I'll inject you wit ya own medicine,
And make ya veins pop, ya lyrics make my brain rot...just stop.
You think you live?
You could never survive...
a night on the town wit Bundy.
slippin money in strippers undies.
Multiple bar fights, leaving fools noses bloody.
You would tremble in fear, I only drink American beer!
I steer clear of all queers, and Bundy never sheds tears!
Miami is the minor leagues, this is El Dorado.
Ill bust open ya head like avocado from Miami to Chicago
Run you over with the Dodge after this lyrical barrage.
Your dopeness is a mirage, my life is one huge montage!
Your life is in shambles, you can't get a date.
Your sister is the only one who wants to fellate, this stupid dumb ape
Look at all the brews that I allocate, pour down my throat and then cop another crate.
Can you relate? i say not,
you marry ex crack*****s, the quality of my women is Baywatch.
I'm the G.O.A.T, the greatest player and coach.
So lets give a toast for this sucker that I'm about to roast.
You tried you're most, but this verbal heroin is just too high of a dose
Al Bundy, Joe Montana, Johnny Unitas.
In that order I'm the finest, man call me your heinous.
Ive been in commercials,
Bundy went to hell and ran the devil in circles.
You work for a woman, they have no place like Merkel.
You follow a code, I only follow X's and O's
Bundy doesnt follow rules, he only goes for the gold.
Who could eat three steaks in one sitting?
I mock fat women who lie that these shoes will be a perfect fitting!
Anti-feminist, anti non-alcoholic beverages, and when it comes to family you know I'm pro severage.
When it comes to fat women you know that I'm prejudiced.
And when I step in this I turn the ladies heads like the exorcist.
Pro-prostitution, pro child abusin,
You live in seclusion, your life goals are an illusion!
Is better known for a serial killer just like me
Dexter is known for having a son, B
And Rita was much hotter than your bimbo Peggy
Icon? Please--they have posters of me on Madison St.
Looking down with a sick smirk creasing my cheeks
Purging the weak, hang out where more antelopes meet
I can see your ungulate eye shifty, looking at me from the side
Looking scrumptious, begging me to take you for a ride
Remove your carpals and tarsals, until there's glaze in your eyes
Remove each tooth laboriously until I see your soul divide
And you don't even register the rest of your demise
This was a silly venture -- this you have to realize
A shoe salesman versus a killer is like feeding pythons mice
So, I think it's really cute that you said -- what was it? "kinda like"
Because you simply can't deny that it frightens you at night
That any moment, a real snake will come out for a bite
And devour your fragile body whole before you try to fight
Well, that's what's happening now, king cobra's here tonight
Making you regret every stupid word you were ignorant enough to write
What youre thinking is brainless, my style's contagious.
Youre sayin the same s***, im courageous,
You beatin me is awfully outrageous
You put alot of people in a hearse, but ill give you the Bundy curse.
Your minds perverse, you lack the skills to dispurse.
Youll be laying six feet deep under the earth.
Bundy is a fighter, bundy is brighter, bundy's style is tighter
I shine so hard that you need a sun visor.
I drink Budweiser, rule the mic like the kaiser.
No Ma'am is the crew, Coors is the brew.
Cook the mic like fondue.
Your claims are untrue,
You should of withdrew.
But from out of the blew, you should of died in Season Two.
Bundy is a athlete runnin s*** like a track meet.
Bundy got a wrap sheet, Bundy's from the backstreets.
Dexter is a loner, murder gives him a boner.
Through Dexter's adolesence he was faced wit rejection.
He couldnt get an erection so he started the injections.
My rhymes are a projection of Men and his reflection.
I bow down to no one, call me shogun, pass me a cold one.
Go to sleep Dexter, you at the bottom of the totem.
Speaking of fondue, your raps are cheesy,
You best reprief before you get seized easy
Simply grab you by your collar and hold you by your sleeves
And hit you with swift spit hits leaving you weak knees
I speak these, ill rhymes on my free time,
I just bust out the grind at the drop of a dime
Lethal, they're legally binded, registered their design
If this were audio, by now you'd be trying to find
Skip, stop, eject, or even rewind
Anything to release you from these torturing lines
What's worse, they're the truth -- you'd think they're divine
Like I traveled through your connection and climbed into your mind
You're probably scared now, thinking this is a sign
Getting up from your chair so you can look behind
Under your desk, the closet, you'll never find it, so stop tryin
Before I show you horrors that will make you wish you were born blind
Bundy is funny, he's not a G, he's got a son and two sluts
Hurting from pay cuts, thinning hair and a weighed gut
In a way, I may be an insane nut
But, that means you best step up before you get cut
1 votes has been placed for this debate.
Vote Placed by iTzDanneh 4 years ago
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Reasons for voting decision: Pro won the first two rounds as it flowed better, But dropped it in the third. If Con had provided the same flow he did in the third round He would have won.
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