Rap Battle.

This here is a rap battle, kids.

The objective for each side is simply to make a rap, not too short but not too long, that attacks the other person. Because we're simply writing our raps, beats won't really be an issue, so the battle will essentially be more poetic than fully hip-hop like.

The criteria used for judging should simply be the quality of the wordplay, taking into account creativity of the rhymes, references to outside things, etc. Flow–meaning rhythm, and the syllabic structure of each line–should not be a criterion as we are not actually rapping these verses rather than typing and reading them.

My opponent should begin with a verse IN ROUND 1. If he or she fails to do so, he or she immediately forfeits the battle. The next rounds should then all contain verses. I am giving myself a disadvantage in that I am not able to write a verse in the first round–thus, I ask that my opponent refrain from writing a verse in the final round. However, if my opponent has serious qualms about this restriction, he or she can discuss it with me either in the rounds or in the comment section, and we can reach a compromise.

In addition to a verse, both sides should, if desired, take a few lines at the end of their rounds to explain references and lines in their raps that may not be immediately understood by the general Debate.org public.

I've been debatin' since
before time initiated
My skill's only exceeded
by the legends I've created.

I've got the immortal fire
pulsing through my veins
Once you listen to my rap
You'll never be the same.

I'm up, live, true, jive,
the chicks and cats adore me,
But when it comes to iamadragon,
man that robot bores me.

I am the best there is,
no matter what he's wishin';
When it comes to me and him
there is no competition.

This punk's age is only four squared
but he's rollin' in 150 grand;
When it comes to honesty
he's the worst in the land.

When it comes to rappers,
you need someone you can trust.
I am always honest,
and my skills will never rust.

So when this debate is over, friends,
your choice will be clear:
I'm the only true
rap debater here.

Thanks for accepting, man. I've had some trouble with my rhyming lately, so I need some new inspiration. Also, about this line-explaining thing, I sort of feel like it could dumb down the spontaneity and fire, haha, so if anyone's unclear on lines, we should just explain them in the comment section, yeah?

Let me introduce myself: my name is Immortal Flash
Read carefully, green pours in swiftly, it says "MORE THAN 150"
I get so much cash and bread I've got a dough silo
Hahaha, so let's really begin this clash, I checked out your profile
It seems you're just a computer nerd, you know binary but not really the word
Why challenge me? You've already erred, take your verse to my refinery and rest assured
I'll teach you how to rhyme, but right here, for your mind one time:
Illness flashes anytime from my rhymes, like happenstance
Immortally, like you got slashed by the keenest Lance
Aye, the surest that, cause I've faced darker than whales
The very depths of the profound thoughts from which I hail
Where the breadths surround you, you'd be fraught with ail
I'm the Ahab to this quest for mastery of lyricism
But you're just a subnote to this legendary empiricism
There are some who dote, and those filled with cynicism
But at the end of the day, I defy any categorical –ism
Verses, I scribble ‘em, verbal cataclysm, aural orgasmin', I keep ‘em listenin' and jizzin' and
I'm a hip-hop pioneer, mappenin' is what's happenin', the audience keeps clappin' and
You're lost in unchartered territory, my rhymes are free-associative
Rap is my trade, too well I've bartered, so don't try to be provocative
Never beaten is the only reason I'll never be martyred
You're about to be slaughtered, not Sartre'd cause Hell isn't other people for you it's just me
Slashed, halved, quartered, this is the heat Flash
It's you I'll over the beat lash, you can't hide so just try to away and dash
But you've been caught, and now you've been taught
You tried and fought, but vocally shot
It's a new dawn with my sick rhyming, need I go on? I'm just nickel-and-diming
The picture's been drawn, your body's been sawn
Summarize: Nobody's going to vote CON.

When darkness falls across the land,
and the midnight hour is close at hand,
When the greatest demons of night arise,
they look to me with reverent eyes.

Satan himself bows before
the might and legend of my lore;
No mere mortal can resist
The power burning in my fist.

Iamadragon is no dragon at all;
if he fought a dragon he would surely fall.
But observe my might, my prowess, my skill;
no dragon could survive my evil Thrill.

When it comes to Dragon, he fails to understand
the demonic power lying in my hand.
I know Binary, English, Hex, Espa�ol;
but Dragon is no better than Askbob the troll.

Dragon's lies end here, with my poetic song;
He don't got a doctoral, his profile is wrong.
What the shameless fool does not understand
is the failure that is his rap, so profoundly bland.

His rap is weak, far too cliche;
My wisdom and culture will win the day.
T� eres un pollo, mi muchacho.
Eres feo; yo soy guapo.

Dragon's words fail the test of sense;
My opponent has nothing working in his defense.
His rhymes are hopeless, broken, flawed;
Only he cannot see that he is merely a fraud.

You, the reader, can achieve great power,
but only through me can you survive the final hour.
Now vote for me, and you and I shall rule
over every monster, man and ghoul.

Come on, this fool's rhymes are weak
You spit with no fire and you're just too meek
Your verses are nonsensical, too Farfetch'd, you hit me with your leek
But it's too weak, it breaks and we see through all your fakes
Quit with your four line arcane verses, you just harken back to ancient curses
But I'm new-age, wise like I'm a modern sage
Prosaic, succinct with sesquipedalian philosophy
Your cadence is basic, can't get past a triple syllable
Your themes are repetitive, sounds like you're just jealous of my dollar bill
Cause you don't make any cents, not even one cent
Heck, not even your rhymes make any sense
This battle's mine 100 percent
Visually, I'm harsh chrome, you're just a long-haired geek
I'm shining and sleek, is that a nose on your face or a beak?
My songs are the keys to the world like Sheik's
Great, you reference some Michael Jackson
It's not enough, I'll bomb you while relaxin'
You're waning, I'm waxing
I rap with philosophy and wordplay, you have no culture
Crush you so thoroughly we won't need any vulture
The only reason you're here is because your mom was an adulturer
But it's you I'm about to banish, I'll make you vanish
Want to hear some real Spanish?
Tu no puedes hablar, solamente temblar
Cuando yo rimo, yo arrimo los limites y los imprimo, tu estas ac�rrimo
Te talo cuando te corto en trozos
Let me decipher, that means you got slashed by the Immortal Flash
Your skill in this cipher's just a big round cipher.

You say I'm old, but I'm just old school
If you try to tell me that ain't good then you're nothing but a fool
At least my spit ain't on fire, that's pretty messed up
You're a crazy wild spitaholic, you're like a little pup

You speak of the cipher, but you're just DES
56-bit, old, rusty; you're a mess
I'm Serpent: fast, sleek, new, tough
Don't play with me, 'cause I play rough

Rhyming cipher with cipher? What kind of crap is that?
You would lose a rap battle against a dead rat
Your rhymes don't got the groove as they're flowing through my mind
And your lyrics are more idiotic than intelligent design

I fail to understand how you passed second grade
You don't have any talent; it's all a masquerade
You make up this sad crap, there's no hope for you at all
You don't got rage and power, you only got gall

You say philosophy is what you want
I'll unleash Marx, Nietzsche, Locke, and Kant
"Cogito, ergo sum" you prob'ly think is valid
Your intelligence is reminiscent of a potato salad

You're friendless, brainless, helpless, hopeless
You got no luck and you got no skill
I'm old, but I keep up
I'm the computer while you're still the quill

I've got the power of Satan, I know the way
It is clear who will be victorious today.

ooh, like Patsox, you pulled a thinking cap out of your hatbox
You think you're old school, but all you say is just verisimiltudinous
You don't speak of the actual, all you know is virtual
No friends, talking to yourself, like "damn, this battle is eludin' us"
Come on man, stop being so dense–your lyrics still don't make sense
You don't spit fire? That just makes you a liar
For taking this debate, you basically just conceded
Any more trashing just isn't needed, but you just pleaded for a bashing
Haha, if you're Serpent, doesn't that mean you're in second place?
I'm Rijndael, the undecipherable, I make your head race
Can't you understand? Maybe I'm too intelligent
It's called a homonym, stop being so belligerent
When you don't know what you're talking about
My words bring rain, yours just bring a drought
My sick heat gives you pain, you've got another strikeout
Drop in a change-up, switch up my flow
You can grab some bench, eat some crow
For even thinking you can step to me, even crept close
I'm too ill, it's an overdose
I'd go in for the kill, but you know what they say about a dead horse
Equus Mortuus, yeah, I know some Latin, a Knight in White Satin
A dead rat? Uh… great?
Wack raps like those are what've sealed your fate
This hack's done, it's a wrap, you can have the last word, it'll just be too late
What? My intelligence is like a potato salad?
Weak Spanish and now weak English? Nothing you say is valid
Someone lend a hand, cause I just can't understand
What you're saying, you've failed in your slaying
Just an a-ss braying, brick-laying, sick daying
Lazy a-ss fool, so watch my word flaying
I spin illness with my spool, legendary rhyming beast
Yours are like gruel, my words are like a feast
For the mind, blind you with my shine
A harder MC than I you'll never find
You're a computer? Well, you've succumb to my Trojan
(P.S.–the same kind your mom forgot to use)
The best weapon against enemy is another, Nietszche said
Your guys Locke and Marx don't even agree, there's trouble ahead
I've locked on, I have the mark, aim for your head, get ready for the bloodshed
You follow two opposed ideals? Or maybe you just didn't understand what they said
Then let me tell you about Kant: he says you're useless
A bookend, the dumbest on the shelf, your life is just a mess
If you follow him, you'll just be led to a dead end
Nothing to live for, into the depths you'll descend
You'll be done, just like in this battle
My verses are epic, yours are just prattle
I'm the wolf, dictating your moves and you're just cattle
So high I'm on the Moon, like Keith
Everybody chants my name and you're just the… who? Get a clue
Maybe your getting owned was really a godsend
Now you can break out of your downtrend
Mend your life, amend for trying to battle me
Stop trying to pretend and get yourself a real friend
But for now, you've been defeated, the audience can be seated
The Pharoah, I dealt the deathblow, played the maestro
Painted this tableau with my verbal airflow
Unending magic like Romani Chateau
Set this aglow with my flow like a flambeau
Anyway, we can keep going gung-ho, but there's just one thing left to say
It's the way to go. Vote PRO.

Maybe you're a Spitfire, that's no competition to mine
I'm a Raptor, new and sleek: in Hell you will dine
Your guns are outdated, your propellor is scrap
As for me? Well, damn, at least I know how to rap
You got no manners, where's your mother to teach you?
Oh that's right, she's negligent, and she just loves to beat you
Maybe that explains the quality of your style
You try to make rhymes, but they're off by a mile

Serpent only comes in second 'cause you bribed the judges
Sure, you're immature, but I don't hold grudges
A bribery's the only way Rijndael could win
Serpent's 32-round, Rijndael's down seven of ten
If you were a product, you'd have no buyer
When it comes to AES, you don't know Rivest from Schneier
By the way, condoms don't do squat when hacking computers
That explains why I'm published, while you still need tutors

You're only a wolf; I defeated the devil
I'm takin' "epic" to a whole 'nother level
You spout lies,like "I'm wise", you surmise lies about spies
Quit talkin' conspiracy, and look with your eyes
Now that's Syrio Forel, from A Game of Thrones
High-class literature, not TV like Bones
Nor a video game filled with zombie groans
Your talent's droppin' so fast, it's just like the Dow Jones

I got both Locke and Marx, maybe I'm just openminded
Don't restrict your viewpoints, or you'll end up blindsided
I'm open to all, I consider each one
You're so closeminded and ign'ant, you don't know that I've won
You make clever rhymes, but since when is that hard?
You're about as manly as the great Jeffree Star
Potato salad's not serious, can't you take a joke?
I'm a raging fire and you're all smoke

Go back to the basics, in my words you'll get lost
You can't even read; I'm like Robert Frost
Your rhymes make us snooze, I think you're confused
For your lacking abilities you got no excuse
Don't mess with me boy, for me you're no contest
It's easy to attest that I'm the best
You're the worst there is, you must be depressed
Oh, I get it: you thought this was a losin' fest!

You started, got nowhere, ended without grace
You're a disgrace and you can't save face
As for me, I'm an ace, I give pace to this race
I've left you in my dust without a trace.
Your pathetic attempts to keep up are pointless and crude
My lyrics flow, while your rhymes exude
You're chest-deep in shame, you'll never be renewed
"MTG wins" is the only thing to conclude.

***

What will you do, how will you live, after your little sham?
Frankly, dragon, I don't give a damn.
When this battle is over, it's clear who's won
Everybody vote CON. That's it, I'm done.